by the Grand Poobah, ARRG Bout Co-Announcer

After three wild months of flat-track action, the post-season has arrived!

This Saturday night, the playoff round of the 2012 ARRG local season takes place at Midwest Sport Hockey (570 Weidman Rd., Ballwin, MO).  In the opening bout of Saturday’s doubleheader, the top-seeded Stunts Devils (3-0) battle the fourth-seeded Rebel Skate Alliance (0-3). Following that match-up, the second-seeded M-80s (2-1) tangle with the third-seeded Smashinistas (1-2).

Doors open for the event open at 6:30 pm. The first whistle blows at 7 pm.  Tickets are $15 cash only at the door. Children 10 and under get in free.

Save $3 per ticket by purchasing online at Brown Paper Tickets by following this link RIGHT HERE!

Groups of 15 or more can purchase tickets for as low as $10 apiece by going to this link RIGHT HERE!

Online sales continue until Friday late-night.

The winners of Saturday’s playoff round face each other in the title bout of the 2012 ARRG Local Championships, held at Chaifetz Arena in St. Louis on Saturday, April 28. The teams that suffer defeat in the doubleheader meet in the third place bout, also held at Chaifetz in April.

The four local squads have been extremely productive since ARRG’s last event three weeks ago. They all know full well that they have to play smart derby in order to reach the reach the local season’s marquee match-up.

Steele

Propelled by a powerful 67-point win three weeks ago at Midwest Sport Hockey, the playoff’s top seed showed why it should be considered an early favorite in the post-season. The Stunt Devils‘ 147-80 January win over the Smashinistas was the end result of consistency throughout the entire roster.

“We have a solid core pack, which is our veteran skaters,” said Stunt Devils’ co-captain Deathica Steele of her team’s complexion. “And our skaters who have not have as many years are getting a lot of time out there and adding to that core. That’s helped us a lot.”

Four Stunt jammers scored over twenty points apiece in the win. Mighty Mighty Boston recorded 56 points, while South City Shiner and Artemischief separately netted totals in the mid-30s. They’ll be joined out there Saturday by the hard-charging Morgan LeFaetal, who has improved her game as the season has progressed.

Bombshell

The blocking has been superb as well. The lynchpins of the Stunt blocking schematic - Steele, Grave Danger and Mayor Francis Slayer - have been complimented by the advanced work of Biohazard Betty, Hydrogen Bombshell, Shacgyver and Toe Stop Belevin’.

The Stunts have outscored their opponents in the regular season 395-289, including a 35-point win over RSA last November. It almost seems that the ladies in purple always find themselves in the championship bout yearly. Yet, they know they can’t rest on past successes in order to reach April’s tilt.

“We really grounded people,” said Steele. “We’re not arrogant at all. We just really love what we love to do and that can go a long way.”

And that collective coolness is imperative in Saturday’s battle against the league’s defending champions, who come into the post-season as a very dangerous fourth seed.

Despite its winless mark during the regular season, Rebel Skate Alliance is now showing the characteristics of a team that is peaking at the right time.

McFly

Depleted line-ups and reshuffling of responsibilities have defined RSA throughout the regular season run and, in reality, this has been beneficial. Once solely a blocker, Stabby McCutcha has now blossomed into a very effective jammer. She scored 40 points last month against the stubborn blocking of the M-80s.

Party Foul, another multi-positional threat, notched 44 points in January. Smarty McFly returned to RSA after a three-month absence solely as a blocker. The league’s leader in scoring in 2011 will no doubt “don the star” to help out the offense in the playoff round. Pink Diamond returns to the jamming rotation, bringing a 30-point per bout average to the table.

Beastley

Both Chewblocka and Beaster Bunny also took turns at jammer in January in order to experiment. That may not be necessary Saturday night, but it is a luxury to have nonetheless. Also look for blockers The Oregon Betrayal, Ginny Beastly, Bertha Venus and a host of others to battle the Stunts up front.

This group has surprised before. Remember, as an expansion franchise one year prior, the Rollin’ Rebs went undefeated and won it all. They very well could surprise many again this Saturday. And there have been times this regular season where the Stunts have shown their vulnerability, and conversely, RSA has shown its dominance.

If you’re a betting person, don’t look at this #1 vs. #4 match-up as safe money. You might be better served spending your cash on a raffle ticket Saturday…..but we’ll talk more about that later.

Meanwhile in Saturday’s other match-up, it’s firecrackers vs. camo in another flat-track frenzy.

The second seed ended the regular season on a high note.  Despite a roster of only ten skaters, the M-80s continued its impressive offensive output in January. The 153-94 victory over RSA at Midwest Sport Hockey put the “cherry bomb” on top.

Friction

“We came out guns a blazing and played our hardest,” said co-captain Science Friction of the win.

Blazing would best describe the productivity of the M-80s in their three regular season bouts. The 148-points per bout average topped historical marks. Consider this…their benchmark in scoring was maintained last month without one of their normal jammers scoring a point.

This constitutes depth, which the M-80s have plenty of. Offensively in January, jammer Black Market Baby scored 86 points, a powerful return to form for ARRG’s 2010 Rookie of the Year. May Require Stitches and EnYa Nightmare also each posted 20 points-plus. Look for those three to once again make a scoring impact this Saturday night.

The Siege

But there’s also plenty to be found offensively with the other multi-positional M-80s. Munchausen by Foxy, Science Friction, The Siege and Rhino Might are also capable of scoring when needed. The blocking will the supplemented by vets Bareknuckle Smack and youngsters Sue Render and the Sound of Violence.

The legacy team of ARRG was on the outside looking in at last year’s championships. This regular season, they were very close to being undefeated. Seeding aside, the M-80s want to return to the title bout after a one year absence.

“We really want to play for the championship at Chaifetz,” said Friction. There’s no reason to doubt if you are a fan of the M-80s.

However, there is one obstacle in the way - an obstacle that wants to prove that is more than worthy of a trip to April’s championship bout.

The Smashinistas are the team that possesses enough firepower to shake up the post-season’s foundation. The talent is most definitely there. Saturday may be the night that they put that ammunition to good use.

Dallis

Jammer Downtown Dallis notched 53 points in January, which enabled her to finish first in the league’s regular season scoring. Her 50-plus-point per bout average has been commonplace and one shouldn’t expect anything different this weekend.

The Educator also finished the regular season strong, notching an average of 40 points per bout. Boom Boom Pow can also muscle her way into the scoring column Saturday with a solid effort.

Forecloser

But if there ever was an area to watch Saturday night for the Smashies, it would be the blocking schematic. The losses last month of all-star Shimmy Hoffa due to injury and the retirement of Jezebelle left two big voids to fill. All-star Eli Wallop will hold her ground and veterans Punches Pileup, PolkaDot Yr’ EyeOut, The Forecloser will also bring their experience to the battleground.

This could be the bout that we see some of the young talent of the Smashies step up and make a significant impact. Look for blockers Shell Shoxx, Harsha Punishment, Sly Davinita, Megalodominator and Harsha Punishment to get some important track time Saturday. They’ll be needed…and one can expect that they’ll deliver.

The Smashies would love to be the team this post-season that shuts the critics up. They come into Saturday’s match-up with a box full of duct tape, ready and willing to put said product over the mouths of the uneducated. This team means business…they look to give the M-80s “the business.”

All four flat-track franchises bring plenty of experience to the playoff dance. But adding to Saturday’s intrigue is the possible appearance by some of the talented rookies selected in the ARRG supplemental draft of late-January. All four teams drafted to meet their needs and spent their picks wisely. Could there be a new face that makes her initial debut this weekend at Midwest Sport Hockey and contributes to a post-season win?

While you’re here at Midwest Sport Hockey this Saturday night, we encourage you participate in our charity raffle drawing that benefits Safe Connections, ARRG’s charity partner for the 2011-12 season. ARRG is rapidly approaching its goal of raising $3,000 for the local non-for-profit.  You can help us get closer to that mark. We’ll be having a raffle for a pair of baskets containing plenty of items, ranging from gift certificates from local merchants to tickets to upcoming bouts.  Stop by the raffle table to see what you can win. Tickets are $1 apiece and six for $5.

After Saturday’s doubleheader, join ARRG at its official post-bout after party, held at Iggy’s Mexican Cantina in Valley Park (13645 Big Bend Road.) There are drink specials to be found and it’s a chance for you to catch-up and meet your favorite ARRG athlete. Remember, there’s no cover charge to participate!

Which two teams make it the title bout at Chaifetz and which two play in the undercard? We’ll find out this Saturday night!

EARLY REGISTRATION OPEN FOR ANNUAL TRIVIA NIGHT!

Registration for the fourth annual ARRG Trivia Night - held on Friday, February 24 in St. Louis - is now open for those wanting to register their table of ten players.

Go to this link at Brown Paper Tickets RIGHT HERE to reserve your table.

Here are the details for the event:

WHAT: 4^th Annual ARRG Trivia Night

WHEN: Friday, February 24 at 7 pm (Doors open/registration at 6 pm)

WHERE: The German Cultural Society, 3652 South Jefferson, St. Louis, MO

COST: $20 per person (includes free beer, wine, soda and light snacks - no outside alcohol, please.) Tables of ten can be pre-registered for $200 per table.

Mark your calendars now for a fun night of competitive trivia action that feeds your brain…and helps ARRG.

LOCAL TEAMS ADD TO ROSTERS WITH DRAFT!

A combined nine new skaters joined the active rosters of the Arch Rival Roller Girls following a supplemental draft held last week in St. Louis. The mid-season draft is designed to fill rosters depleted to due to skater retirement. Draft order was determined by the regular season finishes of the four local squads.

With their first pick, Rebel Skate Alliance selected Eveready, a jammer/blocker who bring seasons of experience from the Southern Illinois Roller Girls of Marion, IL. Her skill set caught the eye of the RSA and her addition could be put to immediate use this Saturday at Midwest Sports Hockey.

With their first pick, the Smashinistas selected Brickyard, a multi-positional player who despite her minimal exposure to derby brings a solid portfolio of athletic experience. This includes endurance events, as she has qualified for the 2012 Boston Marathon. This hardcore commitment made her selection by the Smashies a priority, considering the lengthy stretches of play in a sixty minute bout.

Also in round one, the M-80s selected Kimical Burn, who spent two seasons with the CoMo Derby Dames of Columbia while the Stunts chose Dollyrot N, who impressed many with her solid work in the developmental scrimmages.

Here are the skaters selected in last week’s supplemental draft.

REBEL SKATE ALLIANCE: Eveready & Warpath-O-Jen
SMASHINISTAS: Brickyard & Boozie Steph
M-80s: Kimical Burn, Ginger Assassin & Blue Ridge Riot
STUNT DEVILS: Dollyrot N & Vod KaKnockers

Congratulations to the nine skaters for joining the ARRG roster!

NEXT MONDAY IN THE ARRG NEWSCENTER: We’ll see which teams face eachcother at Chaifetzcin April as we recap the bouts from Saturday’s double header!

The Grand Poobah and Magilla Guerilla are bout co-announcers for the Arch Rival Roller Girls. Check back in this section for the latest in ARRG news and information.

by Magilla Guerilla, ARRG Bout Co-Announcer   Photos by Bob Dunnell (mrmcwheely.com)

I think that it might be possible I am telling time by the passing of derby events.

We really can’t be in 2012 now and already finished with the local derby regular season, can we?

Maybe it is just me, but I felt like the four teams just played their first bout and now it’s time to talk about the post-season.

I feel like I might need to take some advice from one Ferris Bueller (please donate generously to save Ferris, I heard he needs a new kidney) and stop to look around once in a while before I miss something.

I should start things out by quickly apologizing to the skaters from the M-80s and the Stunt Devils. While I will reflect a bit back to the January bouts, I am looking ahead to the playoff round and I will be initially focusing on Rebel Skate Alliance and the Smashinistas a bit. The numbers and the results are in; the top two seeds have looked good all season long and are the favorites.

On paper, the playoffs look like a rematch of December’s scintillating M-80/Stunt Devil tilt for April’s Championship at Chaifetz Arena.

They don’t play bouts on paper though.

My time out of the cage will be about our #3 and #4 seeds and why I think they could find themselves in the Championships instead of the favorites. We shall title the headline of my column: “Underdogs and Such!” Fine, so that wasn’t very catchy and didn’t deserve any build up. I will work on it for future build ups.

Now, I am not saying that there will be upsets, but what I am saying is that there is evidence that these playoff bouts (rematches of course) could go the opposite way they went in the regular season. Besides, writing about the favorites isn’t as much fun and I have always been a sucker for the underdog.

So how will the Rebel Stake Alliance beat the undefeated Stunt Devils? They will score more points than the Stunts, that’s how! (Insert rimshot here) In all honesty, if you look at their first meeting, it was a pretty close affair until the end and that was before the ladies in RSA made some roster adjustments since and learned a few things about themselves.

Stabby McCutcha looks to lead RSA in the post-season!

In their first bout, RSA did not use Stabby McCutcha as a jammer.  Her ability to adapt to this role and to also work as a blocker has been the boost this team has needed. They used two jammers - Party Foul and Pink Diamond - for 31 of their 37 jams in their first meeting with the Stunts.  I got tired just writing about using two jammers, much less jamming with two jammers.

This is going to be a wrinkle the Stunt Devils will have to handle and with Smarty McFly’s return (I talked to her briefly after the bout and I believe “giddy” would be the best way to describe how she felt after being out there and then getting to play), they are looking at some pack stability once again.

When RSA has their full team on the track, they match up very well with the rest of the league. It really was only a rough 10-minute penalty-filled stretch of the second half that ended their comeback run against the M-80s. They get their strength from strong blocking and they will need to play clean to retain this strength. This isn’t uncommon to derby teams all over as playing clean is always the plan. However, it just seems that this RSA squad really suffers more than others when they don’t have a full (or equal) set of blockers.

The X-factor will be Diamond’s availability as a jammer. Of course, I would predict their jammer rotation if she returns (Will McFly return as a jammer?), but that would just make me look foolish. I swear I heard them ask Grand Poobah if he wanted to jam last weekend, but I might have been mistaken. It is safe to assume we won’t know who is jamming for RSA until we actually see it in person.

The Smashinistas (more on their defensive teamwork in a moment) showed that some of the Stunts’ jammers can be slowed down; they just couldn’t hold back Mighty Mighty Boston and Artemischief all night. Both skaters seem to thrive on that scrum, tight to the jammer line start. They only need an inch of daylight and they are gone.

With little to no forward defensive help to stop them, their speed dominates the jam. If RSA can slow down both high flying jammers and keep the scoring low, they have a great chance. A scoring shoot out does not favor the Rebels.

Can the Smashinistas do the same against the M-80s?  Of course they can, that is the point of my ramblings!

One of the top scorers of the Smashies looks to educate in the playoff round!

Without a doubt, the Smashinistas implemented their best blocking discipline and pack teamwork of this season, even as they suffered their worst loss. That sounds like an oxymoron, but they played a really good team and their defense wasn’t enough alone to get the win.

There has been something a little mercurial about this team, until this last bout. At times, they were just stifling on defense. There were two jams when the Smashinista jammer did not get lead jam, but the blockers were able to hold back the Stunt Devil jammer long enough to allow a natural grand slam. Folks, that is some sweet, sweet defensive derby right there.

What the Smashinistas did well as a defensive pack, they just couldn’t translate to offense. In my eyes, this is the most complicated and challenging part of derby tactics.  Trying to find the sweet spot between defense and offense effectively for an hour, while the other team is trying the same is headache inducing. If you have an understanding of your teammate’s tendencies and most importantly that trust that they will do their part, you can add offense to the mix.

The Smashinistas had “it” at times earlier this month and woe to the opposition if they continue to harness it for their offense. Let’s not forget that the Smashinistas currently have two of the top scorers this regular season in Downtown Dallis and The Educator, so this team is well equipped to score.

If you look back at the first M-80/Smashinista bout last November, penalties were a huge factor. The Smashinistas logged 29 penalty minutes as a team (only 24 for their opponent) and had one of their players actually foul out. Add the honor of logging the most minors of any team this regular season (73) and well, penalties were a factor. The final score was only a difference of 26 points, so you have to think the ladies in camo want another crack at the firecrackers. The good news is that the Smashinistas have reduced their penalties every bout since, so sustaining this against the M-80s will be necessary for their success.

Black Market Baby scored 82 for the M-80s earlier this month!

To my eyes, it looks like the M-80s want you to run with them. They want things to be open and high-flying. They have speed and lateral movement in bunches up and down their roster, so a speed skating display is fine with them.

In their first meeting, the Smashinistas obliged and they lost. By clogging up the track with disciplined defense, they can not only slow down the M-80 charge, but also start forcing those frustration penalties that arise as a physical bout wears on.

There is too much talent distributed on all of these teams for the playoffs to be anything less than an exciting and tightly contested event regardless of the final scores. However, an RSA team that is getting healthier and the Smashinistas growing penalty and defensive discipline might be setting things up for some upsets.

Hang onto your hats and get ready for the post-season folks; it is going to be a doozy! (Checks off using doozy in a sentence from his Bucket List!)

Thanks for reading and I hope to see everyone pack the house at the Midwest Sports Complex in Queeny Park on Saturday, February 4!

ANNUAL ARRG TRIVIA NIGHT ANNOUNCED!

One of the most popular - and most educational - ARRG fundraisers returns in February! The annual ARRG Trivia Night is set for Friday, February 24 in St. Louis.

The fourth annual event will take place at a new location, but for those have competed in the past, expect the usual night of fun and knowledge that helps benefit the operational costs associated with ARRG.

You can either organize a table of ten players or you can join a table when you arrive that evening. A silent auction and a 50/50 raffle will also be held. Last year, one lucky 50/50 winner took home a prize of nearly $1,000.

Here are the details….

WHAT: 4^th Annual ARRG Trivia Night

WHEN: Friday, February 24 at 7 pm (Doors open/registration at 6 pm)

WHERE: The German Cultural Society, 3652 South Jefferson, St. Louis, MO

COST: $20 per person (includes free beer, wine, soda and light snacks - no outside alcohol, please.)

Information for pre-registration of tables will be released shortly.

Mark your calendars now for a fun night of competitive trivia action that feeds your brain…and helps ARRG.

OTHER WEEKEND DERBY ACTION FEATURING ARRG

The ARRG Rookie Rivals fell to MO-KAN 155-84 Sunday afternoon in a scrimmage at the Skatium in St. Louis.

Featuring four ARRG All-Stars, Midwest MegaTeam - a scrimmage squad of North Central skaters - fell to the Naptown Tornado Sirens 131-41 Saturday night in Indianapolis. Justice Feelgood Marshall’s bout recap at Derby News Network can be found here.

NEXT WEEK IN THE ARRG NEWSCENTER: The mad scramble to reach April’s title bout at Chaifetz is on! It’s “erase and rewind” as all four teams start with a clean slate. A pair of playoff bouts will determine who reaches the main event of the local championships later this year. We’ll have a full preview of the Saturday, February 4 event.

Magilla Guerilla and the Grand Poobah are bout co-announcers for the Arch Rival Roller Girls. Check back in this section on Mondays for the latest in ARRG news and information.

by Muckety Muck - ARRG Bout Recapper

(BALLWIN, MO) In front of 900 derby fanatics Saturday night at ARRG’s regular season finale at Midwest Sport Hockey, two legacy teams utilized a balanced mix of scoring and blocking to secure the top two seeds in the upcoming playoff round.

Building upon a 41-point halftime lead, the Stunt Devils powered their way to a 147-80 victory over the Smashinisitas to grab the top seed with an undefeated regular season record.

Meanwhile, the M-80s utilized a second-half scoring barrage en route to a 153-94 win over Rebel Skate Alliance to enter the post-season as the second seed.

The results now set the stage for the 2012 playoff round, held Saturday, February 4 at Midwest Sport Hockey. The Stunt Devils (3-0) face fourth-seeded RSA (0-3) while the M-80s (2-1) battle the third-seeded Smashinistas (1-2). Advance discounted tickets for this event are available right now online at Brown Paper Tickets by going to THIS LINK RIGHT HERE!

The winners of those two contests will face off in the title bout of the 2012 ARRG League Championships, held at Chaifetz Arena in St. Louis on Saturday, April 28. Advance tickets for that event, which includes a third place bout, will go on sale to the public shortly.

But even with the impressive wins posted by the top two seeds, the journey to April’s Showdown at Chaifetz will be anything but easy for all four squads.

M-80s 153   REBEL SKATE ALLIANCE 94

The M-80s were disappointed at their setback in December that dropped their record to .500. If not for two major miscues against the Stunt Devils, this powerful juggernaut would have been in the driver’s seat heading into Saturday’s battle with RSA.

“Last month, there were some key critical errors that we made that cost the game for us,” said M-80s’ co-captain Science Friction of December’s four-point setback. “We wanted to sweep the regular season. Of course, that didn’t happen.”

And with a line-up that had been reduced to ten skaters, the firecrackers knew that a rebound would not be easy against the defending league champion on Saturday night.

Meanwhile, Rebel Skate Alliance would go through a roster shift as well, a recurring theme for them this season. Veteran Smarty McFly would return to the line-up in a blocking capacity for her first bout in three months, but the absence of top-notch scorer Pink Diamond would lead to another reshuffling of the RSA jamming rotation.

In short, which team could adept the best given their respective situations? For awhile, it looked like both had to adjust on-the-fly.

RSA began the scoring with back-to-back four pointers posted by jammers Stabby McCutcha and Party Foul to grab an 8-0 lead two jams in.

The M-80s’ Black Market Baby collected four of her own two jams later to cut the gap to 8-4. Another four-point pair by the McCutcha/Foul combo extended the RSA lead to 16-6 at the 24:11 mark. Foul added an eight-pointer at 19:45 to give the Rollin’ Rebs a 24-9 edge.

The M-80s then posted a 24-0 rally during the next two jams to gain their first lead of the bout. Jammer May Require Stitches began the run with five points to cut the gap to 24-14. Then on the next jam, RSA jammer Chewblocka was sent off for a back block, enabling the M-80s’ Black Market Baby to capitalize on a power jam. A 19-pointer ensued and as a result of the rally, the M-80s pulled ahead to a 33-24 lead with 14:00 left in the first period.

The ladies in red extended the lead as the half progressed and pounced on back-to-back power jams down the first half’s final minutes. BMB followed a 10-point power jam with a baker’s dozen two minutes later to give the M-80s a 67-43 lead with 4:30 left in the period.

RSA’s McCutcha collected eight down the stretch and pulled the Rollin Rebs to within striking distance at intermission. A 72-51 lead at halftime was anything but safe for the M-80s.

“We had lost a couple of jams in the first half, but then made some critical adjustments,” said Friction of the M-80s’ 21-point edge. “At halftime, we knew that those adjustments were working. But we also knew that if they adjusted to our adjustments, then we would have to do something else.”

And as foreshadowed, RSA adjusted and struck quickly to begin the second half. A power jam by Party Foul netted 14 points to cut the gap to 72-65.

Two jams later, Foul posted nine as lead jammer before being called off for a track cut. The M-80s’ Stitches netted 13 non-lead power jam points as a result. When the dust had settled, the M-80s held onto a 10-point lead, 85-75 with 25:40 left.

Keeping with their system of utilizing players “at any position at any time,” RSA next sent blocker Beaster Bunny to the jammer rotation. The Windy City Rollers’ transfer posted seven with 23:00 left to whittle the M-80s lead to 85-82.

Perhaps it was at this time that the M-80s decided to finally stop playing the “adjustment game” and do things their way. A 27-0 rally off the next three jams was the end result.

The Siege collected eight off of a power jam to extend the lead to 93-82, BMB followed with nine to make the margin twenty and Rhino Might posted 10 power jam points to expand the margin to 30 points midway through the final frame. With 15:40 left in the bout, the M-80s had built a 112-82 lead.

The M-80s’ blocking schematic would limit any potential RSA late-bout dramatics. The aforementioned M-80s’ skaters, complimented by Bareknuckle Smack, EnYa Nightmare, Sue Render and the Sound of Violence, limited RSA scoring to a dozen points in the second half’s last half.

The M-80s outscored RSA 81-43 in the second half to pick up the 59-point win and finish the regular season 2-1.

And once again - as proven in all regular season bouts - the M-80s were able to utilize their depth effectively despite small numbers. The firecrackers rotated five different jammers, each who scored double digits on the evening.

“The M-80s has always been a team that has sought out depth,” said Friction of her team’s balance. “We draft people based on their ability to play a lot of positions. We tell anyone when we draft them that they will play every position, whether they like it or not. It’s nice to see that we can look at a player and know that they can do anything.”

Black Market Baby topped M-80s’ scoring with 82 points, followed by 26 from May Require Stitches.

Party Foul and Stabby McCutcha scored 42 and 40, respectively for RSA, who finished the regular season with a 0-3 mark. However once again, this squad showed that they should be considered a very dangerous fourth seed heading into February’s playoff round. With McFly back in the fold, the impending return of Diamond at jammer and the lethal emergence of McCutcha in that same capacity, RSA next month can easily erase the frustrations experienced in the regular season in very short order.

Meanwhile for the M-80s, it’s full speed ahead into the post-season.

“Tonight, we came out guns a blazin’ and played our hardest,” said Friction. “We really want to play for the championship at Chaifetz.”

OFFICIAL SCORING

M-80s - Black Market Baby 82, May Require Stitiches 26, EnYa Nightmare 24, Rhino Might 13, The Siege 8

REBEL SKATE ALLIANCE - Party Foul 42, Stabby McCutcha 40, Beaster Bunny 9, Chewblocka 3

STUNT DEVILS 147  SMASHINISTAS 80

This season, three of the four local squads have had to perpetually adjust their line-ups due to injuries and retirements. The Stunt Devils are the lone exception to this rule.

It seems that going against the norm has served them well. Heading into Saturday’s battle, the Stunts would try to capitalize on the absences of Smashie blocking lynchpins Shimmy Hoffa (injury) and Jezebelle (retirement).

And the ladies in purple would also continue to strengthen what is already a solid foundation.

“We have a solid core pack, which is our veteran skaters,” said Stunt Devils’ co-captain Deathica Steele of her team’s complexion. “And our skaters who have not have as many years are getting a lot of time out there and adding to that core. That’s helped us a lot.”

A full roster is a luxury to have. To have a consistent jamming quartet of Artemischief, Mighty Mighty Boston, South City Shiner and Morgan LeFaetal is a luxury to have. To have veterans Mayor Francis Slayer, Grave Danger and Steele lead the charge out front is a luxury to have. To have a promising collection of rookie and sophomore blockers at your disposal is a luxury to have. No pre-bout scramblings or adjustments are nice luxuries to have.

Consider them fortunate - the Stunts have luxury.

A collection of points from the aforementioned Stunts’ jamming quartet resulted in a 14-3 lead five minutes in. The Smashinistas’ Boom Boom Pow and Downtown Dallis added four and five, respectively, to whittle the lead down to 14-12 at the 22:16 mark.

Back-to-back five pointers from Shiner and Boston extended the Stunts’ lead to 24-12 two jams later. An 8-4 Smashies run off the next three jams reduced the gap to 28-20 Stunt Devils midway through the half.

The Stunt Devils proceeded to go on a 16-0 rally as the first period progressed. Highlighted by a nine-point jam by Shiner midway, the Stunts pulled out to a 44-20 lead with under ten left in the half. The Smashinistas went on a 10-4 run - propelled by Dallis’ non-lead eight-pointer - to draw the gap to twenty, 50-30, with 5:24 left in the half.

The Stunts countered the camo mini-surge with a 19-0 run down the stretch. Boston’s nine point strike was followed by Artemischief’s 10-point power jam, extending the Stunts’ lead to 69-30. By picking up lead and points in final two jams, the Stunt Devils cruised to a 76-35 halftime advantage.

“We really worked hard on reducing our penalties because we knew that that could really set us back,” said the Stunts’ Steele of the first half play. “We focused on our walls, staying together as a pack and keeping our cool.”

That collective coolness continued in the second half. A 12-3 Stunts’ run to start the frame extended the lead to fifty, 88-38. Dallis grabbed lead on the next jam and scored three for the Smashinistas at 24:35 to stop the surge.

Or at least for the moment. The Stunt Devils utilized another streak - a 19-0 run off the next three jams - to keep a Smashie comeback at bay. Boston’s nine-pointer from a power jam was followed by four from LeFaetal and Shiner’s six. The Stunts found themselves in control with a 107-41 lead with 20:00 remaining.

This 70-point cushion would remain intact for the remainder of the second half. Despite brief flashes of scoring - notably a 16-pointer scored by Dallis with 9:10 left - the Smashinistas were never able to chip away at the lead due to stubborn Stunt blocking.

The Stunts Devils outscored the Smashinistas 71-45 in the second half to pick up the 147-80 victory and charge into the playoff round as the top seed with its 3-0 regular season finish.

All four Stunt jammers finished with at least 20 points in the bout. Boston paced the way with 52 points, followed by 38 and 35 from Shiner and Artiemischief, respectively.

The Smashinistas - who finished the regular season 1-2 and head into the post-season as the third seed - was paced by Dallis’ 53 points. Frustration was evident on the Smashie faces as Saturday night’s bout progressed. One can expect a modified game plan to be drawn up in the next couple of weeks in playoff preparation.

And even with their undefeated regular season, the Stunts will also have to prepare non-stop heading into February. With three teams breathing down their necks, they can ill-afford to rest on their laurels. In summation, the Stunts can’t get cocky…and the purple brain trust won’t allow that to happen.

“We’re really grounded people,” said Steele. “We’re not arrogant at all. We just really love what we love to do and that can go a long way.”

And that is a luxury.

OFFICIAL SCORING

STUNT DEVILS - Might Mighty Boston 52, South City Shiner 38, Artemischief 35, Morgan LeFaetal 22

SMASHINISTAS - Downtown Dallis 53, The Educator 20, Boom Boom Pow 7

St. Louis…40 West…Near Compton…Near Chaifetz Arena Exit…Billboard…BIG!!!

ARRG ALL-STARS JOIN POWERFUL REGIONAL EXPO SQUAD!

Members of the ARRG All-Stars have joined a regional exhibition flat-track franchise consisting of top-flight skaters from the WFTDA North Central.

Midwest MEGAteam - which features five ARRG skaters - will face the Naptown Tornado Sirens in an exhibition bout this Saturday in Indianapolis, IN.

Veteran all-stars Grave Danger, Downtown Dallis, Mayor Francis Slayer and Chewblocka will represent ARRG on the flat track, while Shimmy Hoffa will serve as a bench coach.

Other members of Midwest MEGAteam scheduled for the Saturday bout include: Ol’ Drrrty Go-Go, Jackie Daniels, Karmageddon and Ruth Enasia (Windy City Rollers), Phoenix Bunz, Outta My WayMan and Amy Spears (Ohio Rollergirls), High D’Voltage and Grace Killy (Brewcity Bruisers), Bloody Elle (Chicago Outfit) and Ivanna Destroya (Burning River Roller Girls).

To find out more about Midwest MEGAteam, go to their Facebook page RIGHT HERE.

NEXT WEEK IN THE ARRG NEWSCENTER: We’ll assess the final regular season outputs of all four squads and see what future implications hold in store for February’s post-season round as Magilla Guerilla checks in with another edition of “Guerilla Uncaged.”

Check back in this section Monday mornings for the latest in ARRG news/information.

(BALLWIN, MO) The template is set for the ARRG 2012 post-season after a pair of dominating wins Saturday night at Midwest Sport Hockey.

Paced by four jammers recording over 20 points apiece, The Stunt Devils claimed the top seed in the upcoming playoff with a 147-80 victory over the Smashinistas. The Stunts’ 67-point win put the exclamation point on a perfect 3-0 regular season.

Jammer Black Market Baby’s 78 point rumble helped the M-80s power their way to a 153-94 win over the Rebel Skate Alliance to pick up the post-season’s second seed.

The stage is now set for ARRG’s playoff round at Midwest Sport Hockey on Saturday, February 4. The top-seeded Stunt Devils (3-0) face fourth-seeded Rebel Skate Alliance (0-3) while the second-seeded M-80s (2-1) face the third-seeded Smashinistas (1-2).

The winner of the February playoff bouts will face each other in the title bout of the ARRG 2012 local championships, held April 28 at Chaifetz Arena in St. Louis. A third place bout will also take place at Chaifetz.

A complete recap of both bouts from Saturday night will be featured in the news section of archrivalrollergirls.com on Monday morning.

by the Grand Poobah, ARRG Bout Co-Announcer

According to Roman mythology, the month of January is named after Janus, god of the doorway.

After the final whistle is blown this Saturday night, the egress for one of ARRG’s local squads will reveal a number one seed for the post-season.

Competition will reach a fever pitch in ARRG’s last regular season bouts before February’s playoff round as the M-80s (1-1) and Rebel Skate Alliance (0-2) clash in the opening contest while the Stunt Devils (2-0) and the Smashinistas (1-1) tangle in the nightcap.

The doubleheader action takes place Saturday night at Midwest Sport Hockey at Queeny Park (570 Weidman Rd., Ballwin, MO). Doors open at 6:30 pm with the action beginning at 7 pm.

Tickets at the door on bout night are $15 cash only for general admission. Children 10 and under get in free. Save $3 online on advance tickets until Friday night by going to the Brown Paper Tickets’ LINK RIGHT HERE! Groups of 15 and more can get advance online tickets for only $10 apiece by going to THIS LINK RIGHT HERE!

For anyone that witnessed last month’s flat-track frenzy in person, they saw firsthand bouts that were dramatic from whistle-to-whistle. Expect the same this Saturday night!

This holds especially true for the M-80s, who were handed their first loss of the season last month in a four-point nail biter that was determined on the very last jam. The 136-132 setback to the Stunt Devils was especially difficult to swallow as they had held a pair of 20-plus point leads twice during the bout.

To steal from another sport, if the M-80s would have had a mulligan, they sure would have done certain things differently in the December bout. Yet, consider it a learning tool for the firecrackers. One can expect that the miscues will not occur again this Saturday.

Nightmare

M-80s’ jammer EnYa Nightmare - ARRG’s leader in league scoring - brings a 60-point per bout average into the contest. With a solid blocking core in front, she has been able to post multiple 20-point jams this season. Expect the claws to come out sharpened in Ballwin.

If Nightmare is snuffed, there’s plenty of depth at jammer to compensate. Munchausen by Foxy posted an intraleague personal best of 42 points last month. Co-captains Science Friction and Black Market Baby contributed solid numbers as well. ARRG Rookie of the Year May Require Stitches can also “don the star” in the jammer rotation.

The M-80s - the league’s leader in team scoring - have been a very impressive juggernaut this season due to its depth. This especially holds true in its blocking schematic, the aforementioned five contribute to the blocking alongside veterans The Siege and Bareknuckle Smack and youngsters Rhino Might, Sue Render and the Sound of Violence.

The red-clads literally saw their team color in anger last month in after the four-point heartbreaker. They vow not to let that happen again Saturday.

Meanwhile, last season’s defending champions are looking for a victory to add onto their travelogue. It’s been two difficult games thus far this season for Rebel Skate Alliance. Yet for a team whose roster has been whittled down to ten skaters, the future is optimistic due to progression in play.

Despite a 21-point loss to the Smashinistas last month, RSA showed why it should be considered a very dangerous 0-2 squad heading into Saturday’s match-up. The Rollin’ Rebs have shown that they are indeed capable of playing the type of “smart derby” that they are historically known for.

Party Foul

Modifications in December’s RSA line-up netted effective results. Jammer Stabby McCutcha - a blocker by trade - scored 36 points last month. Pink Diamond - an early candidate for 2012 ARRG Rookie of the Year - collected 35 while shaving off the number of minutes in the penalty box compared to the season opener. Chewblocka and Party Foul also added solid offensive numbers.

The RSA jammer rotation - much like their opponents Saturday - logs plenty of minutes in the blocking schematic. And one will give credit to the play of blockers Ginny Beastly, Beaster Bunny, The Oregon Betrayal and others who have all progressed very effectively.

Their 0-2 record is misleading. At halftime last month, RSA had a 27-point lead and had only committed one major penalty. A revisit to this clean, smart play could lead to a big victory at Queeny Park - a win which would shake the foundation of the league standings.

This conveniently segues into Saturday’s main event between the Stunt Devils and the Smashinistas - two teams who plan to put an exclamation point on the end of ARRG’s regular season.

The undefeated Stunt Devils opened eyes with their four-point come-from-behind victory last month at Midwest Sport Hockey. This talented team arguably dodged not one but two bullets in December’s bout to take the league’s top spot in the standings. Whereas last month they capitalized on opportunity, they look to finish the regular season perfect outright on their own terms this Saturday.

Shiner

Jammer Artemischief notched 65 points in the win over the M-80s last month. Mighty Mighty Boston and South City Shiner collected 36 and 28, respectively. Look for those three and the lethal Morgan LeFaetal to power the Stunts in the jammer rotation.

They’ll have plenty of bodies up front to open the holes for scoring. Blockers Grave Danger and Deathica Steele logged extremely high numbers last month. And veteran Mayor Francis Slayer pulled off a flat track rarity in December, blocking in 100% of jams competed (39-of-39). Add to this the compliment of Hydrogen Bombshell, Biohazard Betty, Toe Stop Belivin’ and Shacgyver, the Stunt Devils are a very powerful squad.

But in order to keep that undefeated streak intact, they have to go quad-to-quad against a very formidable opponent that tasted its first victory in quite some time last month.

The Smashinistas broke a long drought in December’s 21-point victory over RSA. The camo-clad troops had not tasted victory in 11 months. They liked that a lot - and they did it with multiple weapons in their arsenal.

Educator

Smashie veteran jammer The Educator pounded out 55 points in the win, followed by 30-point plus efforts from Downtown Dallis and Boom Boom Pow. All three will be looking to keep their solid averages high this Saturday night.

And if there was a combination to match the high jam percentages blocking-wise to the Stunts, then expect Eli Wallop, Shimmy Hoffa, Punches Pilup and PolkaDot Yr’ Eyeout to fill the duty. Also look for Shell Shoxx, Jezebelle, The Forecloser and others to also provide solid minutes as well.

This group is ready - and able - to participate in an all-out flat-track war. They know that the top of the league standings is well within their sights. In short, it’s “ready, aim, fire.”

The results of this weekend’s doubleheadeer will cement the seedings for February’s post-season push. Expect all four teams to battle for an advantage - the process won’t be easy.

While you’re here at Midwest Sport Hockey this Saturday, we encourage you participate in our charity raffle drawing that benefits Safe Connections, ARRG’s charity partner for the 2011-12 season. Last month, ARRG Nation collected close to $1,200 for the local non-for-profit.  You can help out in our efforts again with a raffle for a pair of baskets containing plenty of schwag to get your new year started off right. Stop by the raffle table to see what you can win. Tickets are $1 apiece and six for $5.

After Saturday’s doubleheader, join ARRG at its official post-bout after party, held at Iggy’s Mexican Cantina (13645 Big Bend Road, Valley Park.) There are drink specials to be found and it’s a chance for you to catch-up and meet your favorite ARRG athlete. Remember, there’s no cover charge to participate!

So in reference to the aforementioned Janus and his doorway, which squad is bold enough to kick open the gateway and grab the coveted top seed? We’ll soon find out!

We’ll see you Saturday night at Midwest Sport Hockey for another exciting night of Arch Rival Roller Girls doubleheader action!

ARRG MAINTAINS #23 SPOT IN NATIONAL POWER RANKINGS

The Arch Rival Roller Girls All-Stars maintained its position in Derby News Network’s “Power Rankings” for January - holding steady at #23 nationally. The internationally-recognized derby news/information portal ranks WFTDA national flat-track derby squads on a monthly basis. ARRG was one of eight squads in the ultra-competitive WFTDA North Central region to make the Top 25 for the month. To see the full “Power Rankings” go to THIS LINK RIGHT HERE!

NEXT WEEK IN THE ARRG NEWSCENTER: We’ll see who grabbed the number one seed for the top seed for the 2012 post-season. We’ll recap both bouts from Ballwin!

The Grand Poobah and Magilla Guerilla are bout co-announcers for the Arch Rival Roller Girls. Check back in this section on Mondays for the latest in ARRG news/information!

by the Grand Poobah, ARRG co-bout announcer

Last week in the ARRG Newscenter, we reflected on the busy year that the league went through in 2011. For those of you who missed it, you can click on THIS LINK RIGHT HERE. Suffice to say, there was plenty that kept the league busy the past twelve months. Between on-and-off track activities, ARRG did not have an offseason in 2011.

And that’s a good thing, because ARRG is a well-oiled machine as it begins 2012. And once again, the potential calendar is packed. For every month up until August, there’s at least one home event scheduled for the league that either features local or travel team action. The travel squads - all three of them - are still in the process of scheduling away bouts that will supplement the schedule.

ARRG’s charity committee is putting together its yearly list of community outreach efforts. Members of the league are evaluating and assessing the progression of the young unrostered talent who hope to take to the flat track on a full-time basis in the future. The brain trusts of each local squad are drawing up its next set of blueprints.

There’s no rest for the weary. 2012 will be a year of perpetual activity for ARRG.

So as the league kicks off twelve months of counter-clockwise mayhem, here are some of the things that I look forward to in the upcoming year…

I look forward to the next set of bouts on Saturday, January 14 at Midwest Sport Hockey. All four teams are jockeying for the post-season push. And after last month’s double-dip, I’m still having a hard time projecting an overall favorite to win it all for the local championships in April.

Squads have exceeded early expectations. I look forward to seeing the Stunt Devils attempt to finish the regular season undefeated and I look forward to seeing the Smashinistas counterpoint that missive. I look forward to seeing the M-80s continue the high-power output displayed through two bouts this season and I look forward to seeing Rebel Skate Alliance attempt to throw a monkey wrench into the matter due to its improved play. If anything, I look forward to the unexpected in two weeks because that’s the only thing I can expect.

Speaking of which, I look forward to the local championships on Saturday, April 28 at the Chaifetz Arena in St. Louis. Undoubtedly, this is the most important event in the seven-year history of the league, both emotionally and financially. It’s the biggest barn the league has ever skated at, so the rent is obviously higher than normal. But it has always been an ultimate dream of the league to showcase its sport in the heart of St. Louis City in a high-end venue. A calculated risk was necessary to make the dream become a reality. It was a risk that ARRG was willing to take.

And expectations are high for the turnout. Of course, there will be strong representation from the ARRG faithful who come to every local bout. I also envision those who might have not followed the locals in recent years to get themselves re-acquainted with the league. I expect a collective of skaters from visiting leagues to show their support. I expect those who thought Ballwin was too far of a drive to witness ARRG to finally cave in. And I look forward to those first-timers to ARRG and show them what they’ve been missing out on.

I look forward to a competitive selection of home bouts for the ARRG All-Stars in 2011. There are some familiar foes in the mix.  The home schedule - which already has North Central rivals Madison, Bleeding Heartland and Chicago Outfit chiseled in stone - will feature doubleheader bouts with the Saint Lunachix. The interleague bouts are always fun - the home audience is no longer split, as everyone cheers on the locals.

Speaking of which, I look forward to Saturday, July 14, when the ARRG All-Stars host the Chicago Outfit Syndicate. In 2011, these two squads played each other four times in the span of five months, each finishing 2-2 with total point differential of 40 points - a ten-per-bout average. In the process, rankings were swapped, streaks were stopped and the overall drama was high.

After the Outfit bumped ARRG for fifth place at the WFTDA North Central Region playoff, I was surprised that both squads didn’t immediately grab a bunch of orange cones, head to the parking lot and play another game because a split wouldn’t suffice. Regardless of results from a national online poll that held as much weight as a high school’s “Most Popular Senior” ballot, ARRG vs. Outfit WAS derby’s “best rivalry of 2011.”

I look forward to seeing return trips to places that ARRG has travelled to before, such as Milwaukee, Cincinnati, Nashville and Memphis, and to show how this league has progressed since the last time it visited.

I look forward to the development of the Saint Lunachix - who continue to prove that the term “b-team” is somewhat of a misnomer - and the ARRG Rookie Rivals, the hard-working collective of unrostered skaters that contains “the chosen ones” that will be selected at the next league draft.

Now for more personalized observations:

I’m looking forward to the mad chase for ARRG’s 2012 Rookie of the Year. I have seen some solid candidates make a strong early push so far. RSA’s Pink Diamond and Oregon Betrayal and the M-80s’ Rhino-Might are the top three of my list right now. But I know that there are some very talented “rookies” that are going to continue their progression in the months ahead and push these three and - more importantly - contribute to the further development of their respective rosters.

After seeing her last month in 100% of the jams played (39 of 39), I look forward to seeing Stunt Devil blocker Mayor Francis Slayer take a breather, if that’s possible. Her pace is super-human. In fact, I’m pretty much convinced that Slayer may actually be a cyborg in disguise.

I look forward to seeing the M-80s’ EnYa Nightmare fend off the challenges of the Stunt Devils’ Artemischief and the Smashinistas’ Downtown Dallis for the regular season scoring title. Once again, one cannot place safe money on any one of those three specifically for the margin is too close. I also look forward to the continued progression of points collected by RSA’s Stabby McCutcha, the M-80s’ Munchausen by Foxy and the Smashies’ Boom Boom Pow, who each have had breakthrough seasons in the scoring column thus far. And I look forward to seeing the Stunts’ trio of Mighty Mighty Boston, Morgan LaFaetal and South City Shiner strike when unexpected.

Speaking of aforementioned Artemischief, I look forward to her providing more late-bout dramatics in 2012. She pulled off not one - but two - last jam come-from-behind bout winners in 2011. If there was someone to “don the star” in pressure situations, she would arguably get the first call.

I look forward to hard shots delivered by Smashies’ blocker Eli Wallop, the tactical positioning of the M-80s’ May Require Stitches, the derby smarts displayed by RSA’s Chewblocka, the soul-crushes of the Stunts’ Grave Danger, the ninja-like move sets of the M-80s’ Siege, the improved play of RSA’s Ginny Beastley and the controlled aggression of the Smashies’ Shimmy Hoffa.  Say what you will about jamming, but no one controls the outcome of a bout more so than a blocker.

I look forward to seeing ARRG’s “silent assassins” continue to skate solid bouts while underneath the radar. These are skaters that put forth consistent efforts - bout in, bout out - with minimal fanfare but tremendous results. In this category, I would place the Smashies’ The Educator, RSA’s Party Foul, the M-80s’ Science Friction and the Stunt Devils’ Deathica Steele.

I look forward to after parties, the annual trivia night, parade marches, radio/tv appearances, newspaper articles, the inevitable return of RSA’s Smarty McFly, merchandise wrangling, online postings, Beaster Bunny’s “helmet ears,” Jeerleader routines, Mr. McWheely’s photos, raffle ticket drawings, demonstration bouts, “Guerilla Uncaged” articles and every other thing that ARRG does on and off the flat-track.

Overall, I look forward to a lot. And I have no doubt in my mind that ARRG will deliver. The league continues to raise the bar higher and higher with each passing year. 2012 will be no exception.

And of course, I look forward to you being a part of it.

NEXT WEEK IN THE ARRG NEWSCENTER: The final regular season doubleheader approaches as the Stunt Devils battle the Smashinisitas while the M-80s tangle with Rebel Skate Alliance. There’s plenty on the line in this one as the results determine the seedings for the upcoming post-season. We’ll preview both bouts!

The Grand Poobah and Magilla Guerilla are bout co-announcers for the Arch Rival Roller Girls. Check back in this section on Mondays for the latest in ARRG news and information.

by the Grand Poobah, ARRG Bout Co-Announcer - Photos by Bob Dunnell

Here at the ARRG Newscenter, we’ve never attempted to do a “Year in Review” column before.

The task seems daunting. After all, there was no true “off-season” this year for one of St. Louis’ hottest athletic franchises.

But perhaps that’s half the fun in compiling this reflection of the last twelve months. There is so much more to this league than just the scores on the flat-track.

With all aspects invested physically and mentally, the hard-working women (and men) of this league perpetually pushed its activity into full-throttle during 2011.

In short, it was business as usual.

A recap of the Arch Rival Roller Girls in 2011:

JANUARY

ARRG’s 2010-11 local season continued its whirlwind progression to kick off the new year. At the January 8 doubleheader at All-American Sports Mall, undefeated Rebel Skate Alliance utilized a 38-0 first-half run to pick up a 171-102 victory over the M-80s. The 70-point win netted RSA the top seed in the upcoming post-season playoff scramble. Smarty McFly scored 77 in the win for RSA while EnYa Nightmare clawed out 60 for the M-80s. In the nightcap, Downtown Dallis scored 49 points to help the Smashinistas gain a 93-73 victory over the defend champion Stunt Devils. The Smashies would earn the second seed with the 20-point win.

ARRG’s Saint Lunachix - the league’s traveling team of developmentals - picked up two road wins to start the first month of the calendar year. On January 9, the Chix hammered Springfield (MO) 286-67. Two weeks later, the Lunachix bested the CoMo Derby Dames 206-40 in Columbia, MO.

On January 15, ARRG held its third annual trivia night in Maplewood. Over 250 brainiacs competed in the multi-team, multi-round event that supported ARRG operational costs for the season. One lucky 50/50 drawing winner netted over $900 at the event.

Longtime local television producer/critic Aaron Mermelstein from St. Louis’ Higher Education Channel produced a feature on ARRG entitled “Heads of Skate.” The featured aired on HEC-TV and its website throughout the month.

ARRG made a return to the St. Louis Auto Show, held at America’s Center the weekend of January 28. Fans and first-timers were treated to multiple exhibition bouts as the weekend progressed. This marked ARRG’s second appearance with the yearly show, much to the dismay of your local KIA dealership.

FEBRUARY

For being one of the shortest months of the year, there was literally action on and off the flat-track perpetually in February.

The month saw the ARRG All-Stars - sporting a #11 ranking in the WFTDA North Central region - begin its 2011 campaign with a February 5 road trip to Indianapolis to face the Naptown Tornado Sirens, ranked sixth at the time of the match-up. In front of 3,500 at the Indianapolis Convention Center, St. Louis erased a 30-point first-half deficit and posted a 69-60 lead at intermission. The moral victory was short lived as Naptown pounded out power jam after power jam. A 92-38 second-half Naptown rebound handed ARRG a 152-105 season opening loss. Jammer South City Shiner topped ARRG scoring with 52 points.

Intraleague action continued on February 12 as ARRG began its two-event local playoff scramble at All-American Sports Mall in front of 1,000 fans. In first round action that featured re-matches from the prior month, top-seeded Rebel Skate Alliance topped the M-80s 146-99. The twin-attack of RSA’s McFly and Starry Starry Fight scored 64 and 58 points, respectively. In the other first round match-up, Dallis scored 53 points to pace the Smashinistas’ 87-58 victory over the Stunt Devils.

Media appearances continued for the league in February, including a front-page “Community” section feature in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch as well as appearances on KMOV-TV’s “Extra Edition,” Charter Cable’s “SIUE Global Village” and “STL Sportszone.” League members also assisted in an on-air wedding proposal that took place during a live broadcast of “Fox 2 News at 5 pm” on KTVI-TV.

The ARRG Jeerleaders hosted its “Mardi Gras Ball” on February 26 at the South Broadway Athletic Club in Soulard. A percentage of the proceeds from the event funded the pep squad’s activities in 2011.

ARRG charitable efforts continued in February with appearances at Heat Up St. Louis, the 8^th Annual Sports Trivia Championships, Big Brothers/Big Sisters Bowl for Kids’ Sake, the 2^nd Annual Bethany Place Fashion Show and a fundraiser for Boy Scout Troop 777 of Wood River (IL).

MARCH

The next round of the 2010-11 ARRG playoffs - held at All-American Sports Mall - saw the undefeated streak continue for the top seed while the remaining three squads scramble for an invite to the league’s championship bout. Rebel Skate Alliance cruised to April’s trophy bout with a 155-77 victory over the Smashinistas. Meanwhile, a bout-winning last jam by Artemischief helped the Stunt Devils best the M-80s 89-87 in the other playoff bracket. With identical playoff records of 1-1 for both the Smashies and the Stunts Devils in the post-season, a larger point differential from bouts played garnered the Stunts the other title bout berth.

The March 11 post-season doubleheader marked ARRG’s final event held at All-American, ending a five-year run at the venue.

The following weekend, the ARRG All-Stars logged the most miles ever traveled in one weekend with a trek to Colorado. On March 20, ARRG defeated WFTDA West Region #10 Pikes Peak 155-101 in Colorado Springs. The victory evened ARRG’s 2011 travel record to 1-1. During the weekend, the All-Stars also faced the B-teams from Western powerhouses Rocky Mountain and Denver, earning a split in the win/loss column.

Meanwhile back home, the Saint Lunachix rolled to 191-58 victory over the Rockford Rage to improve to 3-0.

ARRG was featured on “Spot TV St. Louis,” which aired on KDNL-TV throughout the month.

APRIL

A new venue was the site of the 2010-11 ARRG local championships. Over 1,000 derby faithful packed Ballwin’s Midwest Sport Hockey on April 9 to witness a changing of the guard within the league. A 62-point lead at the half was enough to ensure a league championship for the expansion Rebel Skate Alliance. The 131-53 victory over the Stunt Devils concluded an unblemished six-win inaugural campaign. Starry Starry Fight finished with 47 points for RSA, while Party Foul and Smarty McFly added 43 and 41, respectively. Morgan LeFaetal paced the runner-up Stunts with 21 points.

In the league’s third place bout, rookie May Require Stitches scored 75 points to help the M-80s top the Smashinistas 127-107, which would be their one lone victory of the 2010-11 season. Downtown Dallis paced the fourth-place Smashinistas with 66 points.

The travel squads continued their respective journeys in the month, posting a pair of wins in the Hoosier State. On April 23 in Evansville, IN, the ARRG All-Stars picked up its first North Central victory of 2011 - and its second straight - in a 198-68 victory over Demolition City while the Saint Lunachix improved to 4-0 with a 101-49 win over DCRD’s Destruction Dames.

The ARRG Rookie Rivals - a developmental squad of unrostered ARRG skaters - began its 2011 campaign with a 75-40 loss to the CoMo Derby Dames Wreckoning Crew in Columbia, MO on April 24.

ARRG also participated with the inaugural intraleague season for the STLGatekeepers - St. Louis first mens’ roller derby franchise. Throughout the mens’ season, ARRG skaters competed in theme-oriented match-ups under various aliases. Exhibition bouts included battles between “Hoosiers vs. Hipsters” and “Cougars vs. Kittens.”

MAY

The ARRG All-Stars broke into the WFTDA North Central Top 10 as the month began, climbing one spot to reach the tenth position. In defense of the climb, the All-Stars hosted #11 Ohio at Midwest Sport Hockey on May 14. Down 49-40 at intermission, ARRG turned on the jets in the second half, outscoring the Buckeyes 107-20 in the second half en route to a 147-69 win. Downtown Dallis scored 61 for the locals, who improved to 3-1. In the doubleheader’s opener, ARRG’s Saint Lunachix saw its record receive its first blemish of the season in a 215-103 loss to Springfield (MO). Black Market Baby scored 45 for the Chix, who dropped to 4-1.

The following weekend, ARRG collectively put together its best “A/B” punch in league history, picking up four collective wins at the second installment of Midwest Brewhaha in Franklin, WI. The ARRG All-Stars, riding high off the Ohio victory, posted wins over a pair of solid North Central squads. On day one of the invitational, ARRG raced out to a 45-point halftime lead en route to a 129-72 upset victory over then-ranked #9 Chicago Outfit. Downtown Dallis paced ARRG with 55 points. The next day, the All-Stars staved off a tough challenge from #15 Burning River. Despite an early deficit, a shutdown by the blocking schematic helped ARRG prevail over Cleveland’s best, 149-87. Boston netted 60 in the win for the All-Stars, who finished Brewhaha 2-0 while netting its fifth straight win to improve to 5-1 overall.

For the ARRG developmentals, the brew tasted smooth as well. A pair of wins for the Saint Lunachix as they topped the Brewcity Battlestars 166-85 and Mad Rollin’ Dolls Team Unicorn 200-92. Munchausen by Foxy scored 60 and Morgan LeFatael scored 68 in the respective wins. The two-bout sweep improved the team’s record to 6-1.

Riding high on the success of the 2010-11 local season, ARRG was featured in the May cover story of St. Louis Sports Magazine.

JUNE

The ARRG All-Stars continued their hard charge within the WFTDA North Central region on June 11 with a 181-40 win over #7 Northstar at Midwest Sport Hockey. The locals outscored the Supernovas 123-17 in the second half to pick up their sixth straight win. Mighty Mighty Boston stomped out 77 points and the blocking featured its most fluid work of the season. The attention-getting win over Northstar - supplemented by the overall region winning streak - helped ARRG steadily move up the North Central rankings ladder and positioned the squad into Derby News Network’s Top 25 Power Rankings for the first time since 2009.

Also at the June bout, the league presented a check to Girls’ Incorporated of St. Louis - ARRG’s charity partner for the 2010-11 season - for $2,200. The funds raised benefited the non-for-profit’s after school athletic and educational programs.

Off the flat-track during the month, the league raced for the cure, showed off its pride and grappled in gelatinous goop. On June 4, ARRG participated in the 13^th Annual Komen Race for the Cure held in downtown St. Louis. The event drew over 66,000 participants and raised $3 million locally. The league, along with the STL Gatekeepers, skated in the 31^st Annual Pride St. Louis Parade, held June 25 on Grand Avenue near Forest Park. The weekend event drew over 80,000 spectators. That same weekend, ARRG presented its most non-traditional fundraiser to date, a PG-rated “sports entertainment-style” jello wrestling event at FUBAR downtown. The monies raised helped ARRG travel expenses for the summer.

JULY

The Fourth of July weekend saw the ARRG Rookie Rivals pick up its first victory of the season in a 177-59 win in the inaugural bout of the Dark River Derby Coalition of Quincy, IL.

On the weekend of July 9, the three ARRG travel teams found themselves in the Windy City for a trifecta of bouts against the Chicago Outfit. In Saturday’s main event at Windy City Fieldhouse, the Syndicate avenged its May Brewhaha setback with a 164-104 whacking of the ARRG All-Stars. Lola Blow scored 73 points for the Syndicate, who stopped ARRG’s win streak at six with the victory. In the B-team opener, jammer Boom Boom Pow scored 66 points - all recorded in the second half - as ARRG’s Saint Lunachix topped the Outfit’s Shade Brigade 156-112. The next day, the ARRG Rookie Rivals scored its second win in as many weeks, besting the Chicago Outfit Shakedown 180-71.

Then on July 16, a stubborn blocking schematic helped the ARRG All-Stars get back on the winning track in a 137-59 home victory over North Central #14 Grand Raggidy at Midwest Sports Hockey. A 46-0 run to start the second half enabled ARRG to cruise to its seventh victory of the season. Mighty Mighty Boston picked up 63 points in the victory. In the doubleheader’s opener, the Saint Lunachix once again posted high numbers in a 205-49 victory over the Southern Illinois Roller Girls. Five different Chix scored double-digits in the winning onslaught, their fourth straight.

ARRG and the ARRG Jeerleaders presented the “Cheers to the Troops!” benefit at the South Broadway Athletic Club in Soulard on July 30. The event - featuring musicians, magicians, high-steppers, hula-hoopers, improve troupes…and burlesque - raised over $2,000 for the USO of Missouri, Inc.

AUGUST

ARRG travel teams split a pair of bouts in a cross-state road trip on August 13. The ARRG All-Stars fell to WFTDA South Central powerhouse Kansas City 146-80 in front of 2,000 at Municipal Auditorium. KCRW raced out to a 60-point lead at intermission to keep ARRG at bay. Kelley Young collected 55 points for Kansas City, who would go on to finish fourth at the WFTDA Championships later in the year.  ARRG was paced by Mighty Mighty Boston’s 45 points. In the opener, ARRG’s Saint Lunachix picked up its ninth win of the season with a 130-103 victory over KCRW’s Plan B.

One week later, multiple benchmarks were broken as the ARRG All-Stars jettisoned North Central #16 Sioux Falls 287-18 at Midwest Sport Hockey. ARRG set records for most points scored, fewest points allowed and margin of victory en route to its eighth victory of the season. A 97-0 first half scoring run set the tone in the match-up. Three different skaters posted over 70 points for All-Stars, which finished undefeated at home (4-0) in 2011.

Smashinistas and All-Star jammer Downtown Dallis is recognized nationally by the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association as its “Featured Skater of the Month.”

SEPTEMBER

On September 9 at Midwest Sport Hockey, ARRG hosted “Stop, Drop and Roller Derby,” a benefit for the West County EMS and Fire Protection District. The doubleheader night of derby action was highlighted by a competitive battle between ARRG’s Saint Lunachix and the St. Chux Derby Chix of St. Charles County. A 46-0 late first-half rally helped propel the Lunachix to a 138-98 win over SCDC. EnYa Nightmare scored 55 points for the Lunachix, who finished their 2011 campaign with a record of 10-1. G. I. Jamie collected 56 for SCDC, who one month later would achieve Apprentice Membership status into the WFTDA. 100% of the proceeds from “Stop, Drop and Roller Derby” went directly to the West County EMS and Fire Protection District.

The ARRG Rookie Rivals finished their 2011 campaign with a 2-2 record following a 173-48 setback to the St. Chux Derby Chix Hells Belles on September 24 in St. Peters.

OCTOBER

The ARRG All-Stars - now ranked eighth in the WFTDA North Central Region - returned to Indianapolis for “Monumental Mayhem,” the region’s post-season playoff on October 7. ARRG kicked off the Friday morning session with a 116-113 heart-stopping win over #9 Chicago Outfit in a bout that was determined on the final jam. Later in the day, the locals fell to top-seeded Windy City 200-82 and were sent into the consolation bracket. ARRG rebounded on Saturday with a 137-98 upset over #5 Cincinnati to advance to the fifth place bout. Donning “Gary F’n Sinise” jerseys for their rematch against Chicago Outfit on Sunday, ARRG was bested by the Syndicate 153-113 to finish sixth in the region. Overall, ARRG (10-5) finished five ranking positions higher in the North Central region from its January launch.

RSA Supreme Commander and ARRG All-Star Chewblocka is recognized as “2010-11 ARRG League MVP” at the annual awards ceremony on October 22. Also picking up awards were Mayor Francis Slayer (All-Stars MVP), May Require Stitches (Rookie of the Year) and Downtown Dallis (Local Season Fan Favorite). Over 40 awards were presented at “Blood, Bath and Beyond” to recognize the on-and-off-the-track efforts of league skaters and personnel in 2011.

ARRG released its 2011-12 season schedule which included the listing of the 2012 local league championships, to be held at St. Louis University’s Chaifetz Arena on April 28, 2012. The local finale marks the first time that ARRG will hold a local championship within the City of St. Louis.

NOVEMBER

On November 5, the 2011-12 local season kicked off at Midwest Sport Hockey with an impressive display by two of ARRG’s legacy squads. Paced by Artemischief’s 46 points, the Stunt Devils topped defending champs RSA 122-77. Newcomer Pink Diamond topped RSA scoring with 31 points. Meanwhile, EnYa Nightmare posted 76 points - 30 collected off of one power jam - to help the M-80s best the Smashinistas 159-133. Downtown Dallis scored 49 for the Smashies.

ARRG continued its community outreach efforts in the month with clean-up efforts at the Forest Park Forever Honeysuckle Removal Project and for MODOT’s Adopt-A-Highway Program. The league also participated in the 2^nd Annual Safe Connections Young Professionals Trivia Night and Art Attack, a benefit for KDHX radio.

Stunt Devils’ veteran and ARRG multi-year All-Star Grave Danger was featured as one of the “Top Singles of 2011″ in the November issue of St. Louis Magazine.

DECEMBER

Fans witnessed arguably the best double-header night of action in league history with a pair of knock-down drag-out bouts at Midwest Sport Hockey. With a 25-point power jam scored by Artemischief on the bout’s final jam, the Stunt Devils jumped into the standings lead with a 136-132 come-from-behind win over the M-80s. Munchausen by Foxy and EnYa Nightmare posted over 40 each to lead the M-80s in scoring. In the opener, a strong second-half scoring surge propelled the Smashinistas to a 123-102 win over RSA. The Educator posted 48 points to lead Smashie scoring while Stabby McCutcha collected 36 in a newfound jammer’s role.

Also at the December bout, a collaboration of efforts raised close to $1,400 in one night for a pair of local non-for-profits. Thanks to skater and team donations, matching contributions, a donation from a local  Lions’ Club and raffle participation by the fans, ARRG nation raised close to $1,200 for Safe Connections, the league’s charity partner for the season. $200 was also raised for Touchpoint Autism Services with the sale of XMAS ornaments created by league members.

The final weeks of the calendar year saw the league recognized nationally by the derby community with a pair of nominations in the annual Derby News Network’s Reader’s Choice Awards. The ARRG All-Stars were finalist for “Most Improved Team of 2011″ and its four-bout series against the Chicago Outfit was a finalist for “Best Rivalry of 2011″ category. Results for the year-end awards were being tabulated as of press time.

And there you have it….

Of course, this summation only highlights certain aspects of the league’s activities in the past calendar year. Keep in mind its involvement in the continuing development of derby of St. Louis goes well beyond what was listed here.

When one takes into consideration the planning, preparation and execution of all these items, one can see that involvement for those participating with the Arch Rival Roller Girls was truly a 24/7 effort in 2011.

In short it was a busy year…and we wouldn’t have it any other way.

For you - the ever-loving derby fan - we thank you for your patronage and support of the Arch Rival Roller Girls in 2011. We enjoyed the ride the last twelve months… and hopefully you did, too.

We look forward to the upcoming year and the treasures they bring. After all, isn’t the journey half the fun?

The Grand Poobah and Magilla Guerilla are bout co-announcers for the Arch Rival Roller Girls. Check back in this section on Mondays for the latest in ARRG news/information.

by the Grand Poobah

Internationally-recognized year-end awards are up for the taking and the Arch Rival Roller Girls are right in the thick of it.

ARRG is a finalist in two categories at Derby News Network’s Best of 2011 Reader’s Choice Awards. The third-installment of the honors recognizes the accomplishments of WFTDA teams and skaters in numerous categories via online ballot.

On-line voters - after registration - can make their selections until Friday, December 23 by going to THIS LINK RIGHT HERE. Once again registration is required to view the ballot and cast votes.

The ARRG All-Stars are a finalist in the “Most Improved Team” category.

The All-Stars began the calendar year ranked eleventh in the WFTDA North Central Region after finishing the 2010 season with a record of 5-12. Reorganization within the ranks - along with a lot of sweat equity - resulted in a turnaround season for ARRG in 2011. The end result was a 10-5 mark in 2011 and a sixth-place finish at the WFTDA North Central Playoffs.

Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell

In addition, ARRG along with the Chicago Outfit Syndicate are co-finalists in the “Best Rivalry” category.

The two squads played each other four times in a five month span in 2011, finishing with a 2-2 split. After a dominant ARRG win at Midwest Brewhaha in May, the Outfit knotted the series at one victory each with a July win at Chicago. The squads faced each other in the opening round of the WFTDA North Central Region Playoffs in October, where ARRG won a three-point nailbiter that went down to the last jam. The Outfit gained redemption in the fourth meeting held 48 hours later, besting ARRG to claim fifth place at the tournament.

The four bouts between the two squads had a total point differential of only 40 points - an extremely low number considering the amount of bouts. The series resulted in numerous leapfrogs within the WFTDA rankings and in DNN’s Top 25 Power Rankings as the season progressed.

Four bouts. 2-2 finishes. 40-Point differential between the two. Rankings ping-pongs.

If THAT’S not a rivalry, I don’t know what is!

There are also finalists from the STLGatekeepers - ARRG’s brothers-in-derby - in select men’s categories.

Long story short, ARRG’s chances of winning increase if you register and vote!

Once again, voting takes place until Friday, December 23. But why wait when you can cast that vote for St. Louis derby right now?

ARRG NETS OVER $1K FOR CHARITY AT DEC. BOUTS!

At the ARRG doubleheader on December 3, a combination of efforts raised close to $1,400 collectively for a pair of area non-for-profits.

Close to $1,200 was raised at the December bouts for Safe Connections, ARRG’s charity partner during the 2011-12 season. A combination of skater contributions, matching donations, a team contribution, a local Lions’ Club donation and the fans’ raffle involvement on bout night resulted in one of the largest single-night charitable collections in ARRG history.

As of now, close to $1,600 has been raised so far for the season for Safe Connections…and we’re only two local bouts deep.

The goal for ARRG in the 2011-12 season is to raise $3,000 for Safe Connections. The league is already well on its way to reaching that mark.

Rumor has it that there will be some additional challenges thrown down at the next local ARRG bout in January that will benefit the local non-for-profit. Check in this section or on ARRG’s Facebook page as time approaches to see what they will be.

Also at the December doubleheader, $200 was raised for Touchpoint Autism Services. Fans bought custom-made souvenir XMAS ornaments created by members of the league.

We thank the derby community and the fans in attendance for continuing ARRG’s charitable efforts in 2011. There’s plenty on the horizon in 2012 for the league that loves to give back to the community.

To find out more about ARRG’s charitable efforts, click on the CHARITY button at the top of the page.

ARRG CONTINUES ONLINE MEDIA ATTACK!

As the rapidly-changing world of social media continues to evolve, ARRG continues its push in its online efforts.

In December, ARRG reached over 5,000 “likes” on Facebook. There has been a significant jump in traffic in the latter stretches of 2011. If you haven’t “liked” ARRG yet…you should…as it is the daily portal of things happening in the league as it provides up-to-date information to events and happenings.

If you already “like” ARRG on Facebook, thanks a bunch. Please recommend it to an online friend and let them know about one of St. Louis’ hottest athletic franchises. To follow ARRG on Facebook, GO TO THIS LINK RIGHT HERE!

ARRG is also active on Twitter with over 1,300 followers. Click on THIS LINK RIGHT HERE TO FOLLOW!

ARRG is also preparing to take social media to the next level with one of its newest collaborators - boomreactive.com. Coming soon, you’ll be able to see behind the scenes video, features and exclusive content. We’ll keep you up-to-date on the latest in this endeavor. In the meantime, go check out boomreactive.com AT THIS LINK RIGHT HERE!

In addition, one of ARRG’s own is a regular online columnist. ARRG All-Star and Smashinistas’ blocker Shimmy Hoffa gives her perspectives on derby in her contributions to patch.com. Every other week, you’ll get to read her personal reflections on the sport that she loves so much. To follow Shimmy’s columns, GO TO THIS LINK RIGHT HERE!

Ranken Technical College - one of ARRG’s primary sponsors - also checks in with ARRG. GO TO THIS LINK RIGHT HERE!

If you have an online presence, a feature with the Arch Rival Roller Girls might be right up your alley. Check out this photo/audio feature from Jace Jones from Meramec Community College at THIS LINK RIGHT HERE!

For more information about ARRG, whether it is online, print or broadcast, contact the publicity department of ARRG by going to THIS LINK RIGHT HERE!

The Arch Rival Roller Girls wish you - the ever-lovin’ derby fan - a happy holiday season.

The Grand Poobah and Magilla Guerilla are bout co-announcers for the Arch Rival Roller Girls. Check back in the section for the latest in ARRG news/information.

by Magilla Guerilla, ARRG Bout Co-Announcer - Photos by Bob Dunnell

With apologies to the late, great Chris Farley…

“You remember that one time, um, when you were watching the last jam of the Stunt Devils/M-80s bout and they like needed like 21 points to win but there was no time on the clock and they…um, got like 25?  Do you remember that? Yeah, that was awesome!”

I really don’t know what else to say about that finish. Oh, who am I kidding? Of course I have more to say!

An ending like that is every “fannouncer’s” dream. I just made up a new word so I didn’t have to say fan and announcer, feel free to use it with your friends, no charge.

Ideally, every bout would be decided in the last jam or two, it makes for the best possible experience for everyone involved, maybe even the skaters. Although, I am sure the M-80s would disagree with me just a tad about this one bout specifically.

However, this ending seemed a little more special. Not only was the deficit a little larger than seemed possible to overcome, but both teams clearly wanted this win badly. I can tell you I wouldn’t want to be the M-80s’ next opponent as they might be a little extra feisty for that bout. I also have a feeling that if the Derby Gods are smiling on us, we will get a rematch between both of these squads during the post-season. If you have a hatch, you should batten it for that tilt.

Another epic battle between the Stunts and the M-80s! This one went beyond the 60!

Now, I hate to say it, but the jammer-less jam for the M-80s could really be the moment that the ladies in red probably wish they could take back the most from this bout. It was a really odd situation and a first for me, to be completely honest. Even watching the M-80s, I got the sense that they were just as confused during that sequence. The worst part is that this mistake and the final jam were really the only things that went wrong for them.

The Stunt Devils did not disappoint, they played hard, hit hard and executed the same solid team effort displayed in their first bout this season. They are just a steady, impressive group. It seemed like they had a plan in place to focus on stopping EnYa Nightmare and for the first half they did so flawlessly as she was never able to get rolling. That changed in the second half, but they avoided a serious onslaught from her all night.

The M-80s’ hydra-like jammer parade approach worked well again, this time shifting Black Market Baby and May Require Stitches primarily into blocking and allowing the steady, almost quiet effectiveness of Munchausen By Foxy to lead the attack. During this bout, I really wanted to watch the skaters that we don’t always think about as the traditional “star jammers” during these bouts and Foxy and The Educator (for the Smashinistas), as just two examples, did not disappoint in the least.

Keep your eye on the style of a jammer - they all tend to do it a little differently and using this style effectively in a bout can make a major impact. Not every jammer is created equal and many times, hard work and patience during a jam works just as well as speed and agility. This isn’t about pure physical style either. Is the jammer patient and waits for their spot or are they aggressive and looks to make their own path?  All of this factors into not just a jammer’s success, but how and when a team will use their jammers.

The blocking from both the Stunts and the M-80s was quite solid, as I think everyone expected. The usual standouts stood out and I really noticed again and again the timely hitting that The Siege brought to the table during this tussle. Going for the big hit is tantalizing for skaters, I mean who doesn’t want to blow someone up and send them into the splash zone? However, big hits are risky. If you miss, it goes badly. Even if you make the hit, if you don’t stay in play, it probably wasn’t as effective as just getting in the way.

Both the M-80s and the Stunts wanted this win badly!

One key to delivering a quality hit is to make it from a safer position in the pack. When a skater isn’t trying for the hit as the last line of defense (meaning at the point where it is just jammer and you between open track), but in the middle of it, they can limit some of the potential risk. Even if a skater misses in this situation (jammers love to dodge or even shrug off hits, they are sneaky like that), she has two blockers still in front of her as support. Many times, those blockers act as a jammer speed bump, allowing the hit to come when the jammer has slowed down and are more vulnerable.

This isn’t an uncommon approach and I am not breaking down rocket science, as this is pretty standard stuff, just pointing out things to watch within the game of derby as you go. Watch closely how a team tries to lay “big hits” and when it happens during the course of a jam. Are they a big risk/big reward group of hitters or more conservative?  There is strategy, even in smacking someone around.

One last thought about the M-80s and the Stunt Devils: I was very impressed with what the firecrackers were doing when defending against the power jam. To me, that is such a challenging situation to keep from getting out of hand. In hockey, we talk about how effective a team can be on the penalty kill and how that can be a tremendous asset. It is very difficult to completely nullify or “kill” a scoring run during a power jam, but it isn’t necessarily about stopping it, just keeping the damage to a minimum.

In both bouts, we witnessed major power jams. Regardless of the score at the time, giving up 15 or more points is a big swing. With great patience and positional blocking (Stitches and Science Friction are just nasty up front together) the M-80s continued to limit these power jams and did it against stiff competition. That kind of discipline helped kill any momentum that the Stunts tried to create and if it wasn’t for the two moments of the bout the M-80s shall not speak of again, I think it would have been one of the biggest keys to an eventual win.

So, we had this other bout before the dramatic ending to our night and I think we saw some very interesting things as well. The first item of course was a much-needed Smashinistas’ win and not just for the current regular season, but for the team itself. They needed that kind of relief and it will be interesting to see if they take that momentum into their next tilt. The second half of play from the Smashinistas was arguably their best effort since last year’s first two games of the 2010-11 season and they really looked like they came together as a team for the first time this season.

Smashies had the mantra of "Battle, Murder, Destroy!"

The implementation of their three-skater wall seemed much more effective in this bout - there appeared to be the necessary level of trust between teammates that is required for this to succeed. Time and time again, the Smashinistas were placed in a “scrum” start by the opposition (when the skaters bunch up to the jammers) and it was their wall discipline and some timely hitting (I recall a few jam saving hits from Shell Shoxx and Shimmy Hoffa in particular that stood out) that not only released their own jammer, but held the opposition back to be recycled back into the packs.

There also seemed to be more attention to offensive blocking that was missing from the first bout. It was only a combination of RSA tactics and the Smashinistas’ old friend - Mr. Penalty - that lead to a surprising half-time deficit.

I say “surprising” half time deficit, but I can assure you that there was one group that wasn’t shocked at all and that was the Rebel Skate Alliance. I guess if we want to talk about recurring storylines, one would be that the ladies of RSA are short on roster spots at this time and thus will play the underdog role as we proceed. Don’t tell them that, because they aren’t listening and to whoever put together the game plan for this bout, you have a tip of my cap to you. Very well done.

Chewblocka and the other RSAs will not go down without a fight!

It was clear that by using diverse tactics and playing to this strength, that the Rebel Skate Alliance had rattled the Smashinistas a bit to start. For most of the night, RSA employed a four person wall, placed directly in front of the jam line. They deviated from this approach at timely moments to keep things from getting stale, but in general, the ladies in green were forced to slam into this bear of a wall, time and time again. I can only imagine the frustration level this caused for the Smashinistas at the outset. A jammer wants to fly and juke and move, playing a wrestling match while on skates isn’t exactly the ideal plan.

In the second half, a combination of Smashinista adaptation, patience and clean play was too much for the fatigued Rebels, but not before impressing me with both their hearts and their minds. Their decision to use Stabby McCutcha (her elusive style is a good mix with the team’s other jammers and will help keep future opponents on their toes) as a jammer paid off and Pink Diamond’s first outing was no fluke. This team is not an easy out, even if their roster isn’t as large as their opponents.

Before I go, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention an opportunity for fans of roller derby to get involved in this sport on a more personal level by becoming a referee. The skaters are just one aspect of what it takes to put on a bout and this sport is not possible without the dedication and support of the skating and non-skating officiating staff. The Arch Rival Roller Girls are looking to add new referees to their support staff, so maybe you can skate and want to help support this fast growing sport without all of the hitting (both men and women are welcome as referees.) If so, contact the ladies at the following email address, we would love to have you join the family! arrg.referees@gmail.com.

Thanks for reading and I hope you all have a safe and happy holiday season.  We will see you again in 2012 for more drama and even higher stakes on Saturday, January 14th!

The Grand Poobah and Magilla Guerilla are bout co-announcers for the Arch Rival Roller Girls. Check back in this section on Mondays for the latest in ARRG news/information.

by the Grand Poobah, ARRG Bout Co-Announcer- Photos by Bob Dunnell

(BALLWIN, MO) For the 700 in attendance Saturday night at the Arch Rival Roller Girls’ interleague doubleheader, they definitely got their money’s worth regardless of team allegiance. Two bouts that had outcomes that weren’t determined until the end. Specifically for the nightcap, a bout that wasn’t determined even after the official period clock had expired.

In event two of the three-event regular season, the Smashinistas utilized a strong second-half scoring surge to top defending league champion Rebel Skate Alliance 123-102 while a bout-concluding 25-point power jam by Artemischief pushed the Stunt Devils over the M-80s 136-132.

As a result of their four-point win, the Stunt Devils improved to 2-0 and sit atop the league standings. Meanwhile, the Smashinisitas’ first victory of the season pushed them to a second-place tie with the M-80s overall.

Most in attendance would concur that - from whistle to whistle - this was the most-balanced ARRG doubleheader since switching to the two-bout format one season prior. All would have to agree that the four local squads brought their best efforts to the flat-track.

If anything, Saturday night’s event makes one anticipate the next set of bouts, scheduled for Saturday, January 14, 2012, at Midwest Sport Hockey.

SMASHINISTAS 123    REBEL SKATE ALLIANCE 102

Over the last two seasons, the Smashinistas on paper have contained one of the more impressive line-ups in ARRG history. Yet, most of 2011 saw the camo-clad troops on the wrong end of the scoring column due to league parity and unfortunate luck. In fact, one has to go back to Februrary to find the last Smashie “W”.

Consider that long drought over following the-21 point win over the defending league champions Saturday night that evened their record to 1-1.

“We did not want to go 0-2,” said jammer Downtown Dallis following the bout. “We prepared for this. We wanted this.”

But even with all that preparation, RSA - a squad missing two skaters, including high-scoring co-captain Smarty McFly, for the second straight bout - would not go down without a struggle.

In fact at one point during the first half, RSA seemed to be doing just fine with only ten skaters, half of which were new to the franchise this season.

The Smashinistas posted back-to-back four pointers by Dallis and The Educator off the first two jams to grab a quick 8-0 lead.

Following a 2-2 stalemate on the next jam to make the score 10-2, the Educator would race out in front and grab lead jammer for the Smashies. But after scoring nine points, the veteran was sent off for a track cut. The ensuing  non-lead powerjam for RSA enabled Chewblocka to score 13 points and whittled the Smashie lead to 19-15 at the 23:20 mark.

Then after cutting the lead down to 21-18 one jam later, RSA’s Pink Diamond posted a four-pointer to give the defending champs its first lead of the night, a 22-21 RSA edge with 19:40 remaining.

A ping-pong of points tied the score 26-26 two jams later. RSA’s Stabby McCutcha and Diamond would notch back-to-back treys to build up a 32-26 advantage. The Smashies’ Educator utilized a 9-3 strike two jams later to tie the score at 35-35 with 12:00 left in the first half.

After a pair of scoreless jams, Boom Boom Pow notched five points for the Smashinistas, who grabbed a 40-35 lead.

And that would be the final points scored by the Smashies for the half…which unfortunately for them still had 9:00 remaining.

By capitalizing on a pair of power jams, RSA went on a 32-0 run in the latter stretches of the first half. McCutcha’s eight-point powerjam at the 8:00 mark resulted in another lead change - a 43-40 edge for RSA, which was followed by Diamond’s 14-point tally two jams later to extend the lead to 61-40.

In short, the Smashie guns were silenced due to self-inflicted penalties. At intermission, RSA possessed a 67-40 lead.

“They were being very opportunistic tonight,” said Dallis of the late-half RSA charge. “They’re unpredictable and that’s what really threw us off. In fact, we weren’t ready for it.”

So, what to do when it seems like the wheels are stuck in slow motion?

“We came up with a plan,” said Dallis.

And in this case, it would be a trip to the “Smashie School of Hard Knocks,” instructed by The Educator, who cut the deficit to 67-45 with a five-pointer scored to begin the second half.

“She went hard at people,” said Dallis of her teammate. “She was confident and that really inspired us to be more aggressive and attack. We really rely on her to make a lot of things happen and we rely on her to bring us that momentum.”

And that momentum resulted in a 29-0 run for the Smashies as the half progressed. Dallis notched separate scores of four and five points to chip the lead down to 67-54 five minutes into the second half.

Then with 24:15 left in the half, RSA found itself in penalty purgatory. A power jam ensued, which enabled the Smashies’ Pow to notch a ‘15-point punch.

And just like that, the RSA lead had been obliterated. Thanks to a stubborn blocking schematic paced by Eli Wallop, Shimmy Hoffa, Punches PileUp, Shell Shoxx and a host of others, the Smashies now sported a 69-67 advantage…and still had plenty of ammunition to potentially fire.

Following a three-pointer by the Educator, another RSA misstep resulted in another power jam for the Smashinistas. This time, Dallis collected 18 points to extend the lead to 90-68 with 18:50 left.

Then following an exchange of points that made the game a 95-75 teaser, RSA would again hand the Smashies a power jam situation. The Educator posted 19 to stretch the lead to 114-75 with 13:15 left.

Undaunted, RSA kept pace and posted a 27-9 run down the stretch, propelled by a McCutcha 8-point power jam with 10:00 remaining.  Although they had pulled to within 25 points with 7:30 left - the gap was too much to overcome as the Smashies utilized effective clock management and preserved a “blackjack-point” margin of victory.

The Smashinistas outscored RSA 83-25 in the second half to grab the 21-point win and even its record to the .500 mark. Unofficially, Educator paced the victors with 48 points scored followed by Dallis’ 44 and Pow’s 31-point effort.

More importantly for the Smashinistas, the victory gave the squad a morale boost heading into an imperative match-up next month against the Stunt Devils, the leader of the local standings.

“I have never seen the Smashies more motivated than what I saw after the game,” said Dallis. “We celebrated for a very short time and then we immediately began to focus.”

And one would have to believe that that focus is going to be very intense as the weeks progress.

Conversely, one would have to agree that the efforts of Rebel Skate Alliance were far superior compared to its season opening sputter. Modifications to the rotation and a newfound jammer in McCutcha pushed the 10-skater roster in a positive direction.

RSA (0-2) was unofficially paced by McCutcha’s 36 points, followed by Diamond’s 35.

UNOFFICIAL SCORING

SMASHINISTAS - The Educator 48, Downtown Dallis 44, Boom Boom Pow 31

RSA - Stabby McCutcha 36, Pink Diamond 35, Chewblocka 17, Party Foul 15

STUNTS DEVILS 136    M-80s 132

“From the souls of your feet, with every ounce of blood you’ve got in your body, lay it on the line until the final whistle blows.” - quoted from the motion picture, “We Are Marshall” (2006).

A long-term rivalry was renewed in a bout that would net the victor the top spot in the league standings.

“We knew going into this game that the M-80s are a really strong team,” said Stunt Devil jammer/blocker Artemischief of the match-up of unbeatens. “They looked fantastic last game. We knew that they were going to be a super tough, but we knew that we were strong, too.”

It resulted in a barnburner that took numerous twists and turns for the entire sixty minutes…and then some.

Both teams fired volleys to start the first half and defensive blocking held the offenses at bay. Points were collected few and far between as the M-80s built up a 14-10 lead ten minutes into the bout.

Then a veteran firecracker popped the first scoring explosion of the bout as M-80s’ co-captain Science Friction capitalized on a Stunt jamming miscue and raced out to a power jam. A 20-point tally ensued and extended the M-80s’ lead to 34-10 with 19:10 remaining.

The Stunts retaliated with a power jam of their own. Artemischief’s 12-point counterstrike at 16:30 whittled the lead to a dozen points, 34-22.

The M-80s methodically built a comfortable lead as the half progressed. A strong wall of blocking provided by May Require Stitches, Vandetta Vango, The Siege, Rhino Might and a host of others allowed the ladies in red to build up points at a 2-1 ratio - a 36-18 run resulted in a 70-40 M-80s’ advantage with under 2:00 left in the half.

Or at least it was a comfortable lead, until the final jam of the first half.

In a rare moment of miscommunication, the M-80s failed to send a jammer out onto the track. Once the whistle blew to start the jam, the M-80s would be forced to skate the entire jam jammerless. The omission gave a free jam to the Stunts which resulted in an 18-point mosh by Mighty Might Boston, which narrowed to the M-80s’ lead to 70-58 at intermission.

Boston started the second half by scoring four to whittle the deficit to eight, 70-62. Then following a 4-2 jam by the M-80s to make the score 74-64, South City Shiner posted a five-point strike for the Stunts, chipping away the lead to 74-69 with 25:00 remaining.

With the margin reduced to five points, the M-80s proceeded to barrel out a 15-0 run over the next two jams in order to give the leaders some breathing room. EnYa Nightmare scored twelve and Black Market Baby followed with three to extend the M-80s lead to 89-69.

Shiner countered for the Stunts and posted eight on the next jam to whittle the lead to a dozen points, 89-77 with 18:40 remaining.

As the middle stretch of the second half progressed, the M-80s used a 19-7 run to stretch the lead to 108-84.

Then with 11:00 remaining, the seeds were planted for a sprint to the finish, paced by the Stunts’ Artemischief. The ARRG veteran scored five with 9:30 left to cut the gap to 108-89.

Then by utilizing the open lanes created by blockers Mayor Francis Slayer, Grave Danger, Deathica Steele and others, she posted another 18 on the next jam, which made the bout an one-point affair, 108-107 with 7:15 remaining.

The M-80s would stop the surge with a pair of four-pointers collected by Nightmare, which extended the lead to 116-107 with 4:20 left.

Black Market Baby then capitalized on a Stunts’ jamming miscue, resulting in a power jam for the M-80s. A 14-point strike was delivered by the co-captain and gave the M-80s a 130-111 lead at the two-minute warning.

The Stunts grabbed lead jammer status on the next jam, but failed to gain points due to the stubborn M-80s blocking schematic. As result, the deficit for the Stunts was still 19 points with :35 left on the official period clock and Artmischief donning the star for the bout’s final jam.

“There’s two things you have to do when you’re down by that many points at the end,” said the Stunt anchor of the scenario. “You have to make the other jammer foul and you have to get lead.”

And that’s precisely what happened.

After Artemischief gained lead jammer for the Stunts with under :30 remaining on the official period clock, a pair of M-80 skaters - including its jammer - were sent to the penalty box.

The Stunt Devils’ power jam culminated as the official period clock reached gooseeggs, yet 1:25 remained on the jam clock, which gave the Stunts plenty of time to slash at the lead…and mash the hard-fought efforts of the M-80s.

Artemischief proceeded to post grand slam after grand slam. Altogether, five full laps against the opposition netted a 25-point counter-clockwise clobber on the bout’s final jam. What was once a 19-point Stunt deficit transformed into a four-point Stunt victory.

In reference to the opening line of the recap, the Stunts had indeed “laid it on the line until the final whistle blew.” The 136-132 come-from-behind victory enabled the Stunts to grab sole possession of first place in the league standings.

“That was fun….I miss jamming!” beamed Artemischief, who finished unofficially with a team-high 65 points. “Everything fell into place. This helps gives us the confidence that we need and it gives us a good idea of what we need to do going into training.”

Boston added 36 and Shiner collected 27 for the Stunts, who improved to 2-0.

However, one could argue that the Stunt Devils dodged a bullet…not once, but twice in this bout. Granted, the team brought the “pitchfork-itude” needed to poke its way to victory. But conversely, the M-80s’ meltdown on the last jam of each period surely helped matters.

Suffice to say that even with the win, the Stunts can’t get too cocky heading into next month’s battle with the Smashinistas.

“We know there are some things that we’re going to have to work on,” said Artemisichief of the January 12 event. “We’re going to spend the next couple of weeks sharpening those tools and we’re going to come out fighting.”

And one now knows that will fight will go on until the final whistle blows.

Unofficially, Munchausen by Foxy paced the M-80s - who dropped to 1-1 in the standings - with 45 points followed by Nightmare’s 35.

UNOFFICIAL SCORING

STUNT DEVILS - Artemischief 65, Mighty Mighty Boston 36, South City Shiner 27, Morgan LeFaetal 8

M-80s - Munchausen By Foxy 45, EnYa Nightmare 39, Science Friction 27, Black Market Baby 18, May Require Stitches 3

NEXT WEEK IN THE ARRG NEWSCENTER: You’ve read the x’s and o’s of what occurred this past weekend! Now we’ll analyze the flat-track mayhem. We’ll get down and dirty with ARRG bout co-announcer Magilla Guerilla as he reflects on a dramatic night of doubleheader derby with another installment of “Guerilla Uncaged.”

The Grand Poobah and Magilla Guerilla are bout co-announcers for the arch Rival Roller Girls. Check back in this section on Monday for the latest in ARRG news/information.