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ARRG’S “30n30″ – # 16: ARRG VS. MEMPHIS RECAP

BLISTERING START LEADS TO ALL-STARS’ 209-POINT WIN

by Muckety Muck, Derby News Network Contributing Writer – Photos by Bob Dunnell

(MEMPHIS, TN) For the Arch Rival Roller Girls’ All-Stars – the WFTDA’s North Central sixth-ranked team – a weekend roadtrip to the home of “The King of Rock-n-Roll” provided the perfect platform for a team that was looking to rebound after a loss to a lower-ranked squad last month.

41A win against the Memphis Hustlin’ Rollers Saturday would right the ship back on track. Conversely, a loss to South Central’s #16 would surely raise some red flags.

As Elvis himself would say…”It’s Now or Never.”

Extremely rare is the case that a bout’s winning jam is determined less than four minutes in, but that’s precisely what happened as St. Louis’ best on quads notched a 238-29 victory at the Memphis Fairgrounds’ Pipkin Building in front of 300.

“Losing was not an option,” said ARRG All-Star blocker Party Foul after the bout. “This was their turf, this was their house, this was their floor and this was their crowd. It was really important for us to come back home with a win and it was really awesome that we did.”

The win improved the All-Stars record to 3-1 and eliminated seeds of doubt following their 53-point loss to North Central #9 Ohio on March 11.

53“I think we needed a confidence booster,” Foul said. “A lot of us came back from the Ohio trip feeling a little confused because we did so well against (NC #8) Cincinnati the night before. A lot of us took the loss to Ohio really hard, so we needed to win this one.”

“We wanted to come into this game and prove that we could play better derby than that,” adds ARRG blocker Shimmy Hoffa. “It was a chance for us to really work on our teamwork and put it all back together again and start fresh.”

Little did anyone know how long – or in this case, short – it would take to claim victory.

Following a scoreless bout-opening jam, Black Market Baby posted a 30-point strike for Arch Rival at 26:30 to literally give the visitors the win.

Consider this.  It took less time for ARRG to get the bout’s winning points over Memphis than it does to hear “Suspicious Minds” in its entirety.

22“It’s always important for us to start with really high momentum,” said Hoffa of the fast sprint out of the gates. “We just wanted to get the game going and start putting points on the board. We started the game intense and wanted to maintain that intensity throughout the rest of the game.”

Following the 30-0 launch, Arch Rival proceeded with a baker’s dozen points unanswered. Downtown Dallis‘ four-pointer was followed by South City Shiner‘s five. Mighty Mighty Boston added another four to extend the lead to 43-0 at the 21:50 mark.

Memphis jammer Lil Cinner cracked open the goose egg with a two-point tally on the next jam, but St. Louis countered with another twelve straight to build a 55-2 lead midway through the period.

New Jersey Turndyke offered a glimmer of hope for Memphis by posting four with 14:50 left to cut the deficit to 55-6, but ARRG countered with another 22 points – capped by Boston 17-pointer – to stretch the lead to 77-6 with 12:00 left in the half.

91Arch Rival racked up multiple double-digit jams as the period’s final third progressed. Dallis’ 14-point power jam at 8:15 was followed by South City Shiner’s 15-pointer, extending ARRG’s advantage to 110-8.

Boston posted another 18 deep in the frame to help Arch Rival stretch its lead to 128-12 at intermission.

The dominance in the second half would continue as the St. Louisans netted the first four jams of the second half, which resulted in a 46-0 run. Black Market Baby’s dozen, Dallis’ nine, Boston’s 18 and another five by BMB extended ARRG’s lead to 174-12 with 20:00 left.

The workhorses of the Arch Rival blocking schematic, paced by Foul, Hoffa, Chewblocka, Science Friction, Grave Danger, The Educator, May Require Stitches and a host of others, kept  Memphis from barely breaking double digits in both halves.

“It provided a great safety net,” said Foul of her blocking sistren. “It gave us the chance to play the perfect derby that we could possibly play.”

81Dallis’ four-pointer scored with 9:00 remaining broke the 200-point barrier for ARRG, which now sat on a 200-18 lead.

A 26-0 ARRG run – punctuated by Shiner’s 18-point power jam with under six minutes left – extended the cushion to 230-20.

Outscoring Memphis 110-17 in the second half to collect the 209-point victory, four St. Louis jammers posted 40-plus points apiece in the bout, paced by Boston’s 68 followed by Black Market Baby’s 66.

“I saw things out of them tonight that I’ve never seen before,” said Chewblocka of the jamming quartet. “I saw a lot of aggression, a lot of tight footwork and I saw them seize a lot opportunities tonight.”

But don’t think that all was perfect in the assessment. Even though they held Memphis scoring to low numbers, ARRG’s internal constructive criticism still looks for cleaner play overall.

“We definitely ran into penalty issues near the end,” said Chewblocka. “Even though we were able to control situations when we had players in the penalty box, it would better to never have players in the box to begin with.”

62“There’s still a lot that we need to work on,” agrees Hoffa. “We still need to work on our penalties and tighten up some of the things that Memphis took advantage of towards the end. They started figuring out or strategies and adjusting. When a team starts adjusting, we need to still play our strongest game.”

And this will be important as Arch Rival returns to WFTDA North Central region action on Saturday, May 5 against NC #13 Bleeding Heartland at Midwest Sports Hockey.

“The first of bouts of the season are there to gauge and see where your strengths and weaknesses lie,” says Hoffa. “We get to see what works and what needs to get fixed. It makes the team stronger and it gives us a chance to train ourselves for what’s coming up ahead.”

UNOFFICIAL SCORING

ARCH RIVAL (238) – Mighty Mighty Boston 68, Black Market Baby 66, South City Shiner 56, Downtown Dallis 48

MEMPHIS (29) – Muse of Bruise 11, Tenacious B 10, Lil Cinner 4, New Jersey Turndyke 4

COMING UP TOMORROW AT 8 AM FOR ARRG’s “30n30″: They shake their poms, hold their signs and cheer on the skaters of the league. One rides a tricycle and another totes a really large pirate’s head. They don’t skate on bout night, but their involvement adds to the color of roller derby in St. Louis. They also give back with fundraisers and support events. On Tuesday, we look at the ARRG Jeerleaders.

ARRG’s “30n30″ is a daily feature that examines different aspects of the Arch Rival Roller Girls – St. Louis’ first female flat-track roller derby franchise. In this section every morning at 8 AM for the entire month of April, a new feature will be presented.

Other installments of ARRG’s “30n30″: PRE-SERIES SET-UP (1) EVOLUTION (2) THE DREAM TO PLAY AT CHAIFETZ (3) LOCAL SEASON RECAP (4) ARRG ALL-STARS (5) SAINT LUNACHIX (6) ROOKIE RIVALS (7) REFEREES & NSOs (8) PRE-BOUT RITUALS (9) POST-BOUT RITUALS (10) GUERILLA UNCAGED – NO MINORS (11) ARRG VS. MEMPHIS PREVIEW (12) CHARITY (13) CHAIFETZ PUBLICITY (14) McWHEELY PHOTOGRAPHY (15) GUERILLA UNCAGED – DERBY NAMES

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WINS NET STUNTS & M-80s TOP PLAYOFF SEEDS!

QUICK SPRINTS SET FEBRUARY’S POST-SEASON INTO SHAPE!

by Muckety Muck – ARRG Bout Recapper

(BALLWIN, MO) In front of 900 derby fanatics Saturday night at ARRG’s regular season finale at Midwest Sport Hockey, two legacy teams utilized a balanced mix of scoring and blocking to secure the top two seeds in the upcoming playoff round.

Building upon a 41-point halftime lead, the Stunt Devils powered their way to a 147-80 victory over the Smashinisitas to grab the top seed with an undefeated regular season record.

Meanwhile, the M-80s utilized a second-half scoring barrage en route to a 153-94 win over Rebel Skate Alliance to enter the post-season as the second seed.

The results now set the stage for the 2012 playoff round, held Saturday, February 4 at Midwest Sport Hockey. The Stunt Devils (3-0) face fourth-seeded RSA (0-3) while the M-80s (2-1) battle the third-seeded Smashinistas (1-2). Advance discounted tickets for this event are available right now online at Brown Paper Tickets by going to THIS LINK RIGHT HERE!

The winners of those two contests will face off in the title bout of the 2012 ARRG League Championships, held at Chaifetz Arena in St. Louis on Saturday, April 28. Advance tickets for that event, which includes a third place bout, will go on sale to the public shortly.

But even with the impressive wins posted by the top two seeds, the journey to April’s Showdown at Chaifetz will be anything but easy for all four squads.

M-80s 153   REBEL SKATE ALLIANCE 94

The M-80s were disappointed at their setback in December that dropped their record to .500. If not for two major miscues against the Stunt Devils, this powerful juggernaut would have been in the driver’s seat heading into Saturday’s battle with RSA.

“Last month, there were some key critical errors that we made that cost the game for us,” said M-80s’ co-captain Science Friction of December’s four-point setback. “We wanted to sweep the regular season. Of course, that didn’t happen.”

And with a line-up that had been reduced to ten skaters, the firecrackers knew that a rebound would not be easy against the defending league champion on Saturday night.

Meanwhile, Rebel Skate Alliance would go through a roster shift as well, a recurring theme for them this season. Veteran Smarty McFly would return to the line-up in a blocking capacity for her first bout in three months, but the absence of top-notch scorer Pink Diamond would lead to another reshuffling of the RSA jamming rotation.

In short, which team could adept the best given their respective situations? For awhile, it looked like both had to adjust on-the-fly.

RSA began the scoring with back-to-back four pointers posted by jammers Stabby McCutcha and Party Foul to grab an 8-0 lead two jams in.

The M-80s’ Black Market Baby collected four of her own two jams later to cut the gap to 8-4. Another four-point pair by the McCutcha/Foul combo extended the RSA lead to 16-6 at the 24:11 mark. Foul added an eight-pointer at 19:45 to give the Rollin’ Rebs a 24-9 edge.

The M-80s then posted a 24-0 rally during the next two jams to gain their first lead of the bout. Jammer May Require Stitches began the run with five points to cut the gap to 24-14. Then on the next jam, RSA jammer Chewblocka was sent off for a back block, enabling the M-80s’ Black Market Baby to capitalize on a power jam. A 19-pointer ensued and as a result of the rally, the M-80s pulled ahead to a 33-24 lead with 14:00 left in the first period.

The ladies in red extended the lead as the half progressed and pounced on back-to-back power jams down the first half’s final minutes. BMB followed a 10-point power jam with a baker’s dozen two minutes later to give the M-80s a 67-43 lead with 4:30 left in the period.

RSA’s McCutcha collected eight down the stretch and pulled the Rollin Rebs to within striking distance at intermission. A 72-51 lead at halftime was anything but safe for the M-80s.

“We had lost a couple of jams in the first half, but then made some critical adjustments,” said Friction of the M-80s’ 21-point edge. “At halftime, we knew that those adjustments were working. But we also knew that if they adjusted to our adjustments, then we would have to do something else.”

And as foreshadowed, RSA adjusted and struck quickly to begin the second half. A power jam by Party Foul netted 14 points to cut the gap to 72-65.

Two jams later, Foul posted nine as lead jammer before being called off for a track cut. The M-80s’ Stitches netted 13 non-lead power jam points as a result. When the dust had settled, the M-80s held onto a 10-point lead, 85-75 with 25:40 left.

Keeping with their system of utilizing players “at any position at any time,” RSA next sent blocker Beaster Bunny to the jammer rotation. The Windy City Rollers’ transfer posted seven with 23:00 left to whittle the M-80s lead to 85-82.

Perhaps it was at this time that the M-80s decided to finally stop playing the “adjustment game” and do things their way. A 27-0 rally off the next three jams was the end result.

The Siege collected eight off of a power jam to extend the lead to 93-82, BMB followed with nine to make the margin twenty and Rhino Might posted 10 power jam points to expand the margin to 30 points midway through the final frame. With 15:40 left in the bout, the M-80s had built a 112-82 lead.

The M-80s’ blocking schematic would limit any potential RSA late-bout dramatics. The aforementioned M-80s’ skaters, complimented by Bareknuckle Smack, EnYa Nightmare, Sue Render and the Sound of Violence, limited RSA scoring to a dozen points in the second half’s last half.

The M-80s outscored RSA 81-43 in the second half to pick up the 59-point win and finish the regular season 2-1.

And once again – as proven in all regular season bouts – the M-80s were able to utilize their depth effectively despite small numbers. The firecrackers rotated five different jammers, each who scored double digits on the evening.

“The M-80s has always been a team that has sought out depth,” said Friction of her team’s balance. “We draft people based on their ability to play a lot of positions. We tell anyone when we draft them that they will play every position, whether they like it or not. It’s nice to see that we can look at a player and know that they can do anything.”

Black Market Baby topped M-80s’ scoring with 82 points, followed by 26 from May Require Stitches.

Party Foul and Stabby McCutcha scored 42 and 40, respectively for RSA, who finished the regular season with a 0-3 mark. However once again, this squad showed that they should be considered a very dangerous fourth seed heading into February’s playoff round. With McFly back in the fold, the impending return of Diamond at jammer and the lethal emergence of McCutcha in that same capacity, RSA next month can easily erase the frustrations experienced in the regular season in very short order.

Meanwhile for the M-80s, it’s full speed ahead into the post-season.

“Tonight, we came out guns a blazin’ and played our hardest,” said Friction. “We really want to play for the championship at Chaifetz.”

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OFFICIAL SCORING

M-80s – Black Market Baby 82, May Require Stitiches 26, EnYa Nightmare 24, Rhino Might 13, The Siege 8

REBEL SKATE ALLIANCE - Party Foul 42, Stabby McCutcha 40, Beaster Bunny 9, Chewblocka 3

STUNT DEVILS 147  SMASHINISTAS 80

This season, three of the four local squads have had to perpetually adjust their line-ups due to injuries and retirements. The Stunt Devils are the lone exception to this rule.

It seems that going against the norm has served them well. Heading into Saturday’s battle, the Stunts would try to capitalize on the absences of Smashie blocking lynchpins Shimmy Hoffa (injury) and Jezebelle (retirement).

And the ladies in purple would also continue to strengthen what is already a solid foundation.

“We have a solid core pack, which is our veteran skaters,” said Stunt Devils’ co-captain Deathica Steele of her team’s complexion. “And our skaters who have not have as many years are getting a lot of time out there and adding to that core. That’s helped us a lot.”

A full roster is a luxury to have. To have a consistent jamming quartet of Artemischief, Mighty Mighty Boston, South City Shiner and Morgan LeFaetal is a luxury to have. To have veterans Mayor Francis Slayer, Grave Danger and Steele lead the charge out front is a luxury to have. To have a promising collection of rookie and sophomore blockers at your disposal is a luxury to have. No pre-bout scramblings or adjustments are nice luxuries to have.

Consider them fortunate – the Stunts have luxury.

A collection of points from the aforementioned Stunts’ jamming quartet resulted in a 14-3 lead five minutes in. The Smashinistas’ Boom Boom Pow and Downtown Dallis added four and five, respectively, to whittle the lead down to 14-12 at the 22:16 mark.

Back-to-back five pointers from Shiner and Boston extended the Stunts’ lead to 24-12 two jams later. An 8-4 Smashies run off the next three jams reduced the gap to 28-20 Stunt Devils midway through the half.

The Stunt Devils proceeded to go on a 16-0 rally as the first period progressed. Highlighted by a nine-point jam by Shiner midway, the Stunts pulled out to a 44-20 lead with under ten left in the half. The Smashinistas went on a 10-4 run – propelled by Dallis’ non-lead eight-pointer – to draw the gap to twenty, 50-30, with 5:24 left in the half.

The Stunts countered the camo mini-surge with a 19-0 run down the stretch. Boston’s nine point strike was followed by Artemischief’s 10-point power jam, extending the Stunts’ lead to 69-30. By picking up lead and points in final two jams, the Stunt Devils cruised to a 76-35 halftime advantage.

“We really worked hard on reducing our penalties because we knew that that could really set us back,” said the Stunts’ Steele of the first half play. “We focused on our walls, staying together as a pack and keeping our cool.”

That collective coolness continued in the second half. A 12-3 Stunts’ run to start the frame extended the lead to fifty, 88-38. Dallis grabbed lead on the next jam and scored three for the Smashinistas at 24:35 to stop the surge.

Or at least for the moment. The Stunt Devils utilized another streak – a 19-0 run off the next three jams – to keep a Smashie comeback at bay. Boston’s nine-pointer from a power jam was followed by four from LeFaetal and Shiner’s six. The Stunts found themselves in control with a 107-41 lead with 20:00 remaining.

This 70-point cushion would remain intact for the remainder of the second half. Despite brief flashes of scoring – notably a 16-pointer scored by Dallis with 9:10 left – the Smashinistas were never able to chip away at the lead due to stubborn Stunt blocking.

The Stunts Devils outscored the Smashinistas 71-45 in the second half to pick up the 147-80 victory and charge into the playoff round as the top seed with its 3-0 regular season finish.

All four Stunt jammers finished with at least 20 points in the bout. Boston paced the way with 52 points, followed by 38 and 35 from Shiner and Artiemischief, respectively.

The Smashinistas – who finished the regular season 1-2 and head into the post-season as the third seed – was paced by Dallis’ 53 points. Frustration was evident on the Smashie faces as Saturday night’s bout progressed. One can expect a modified game plan to be drawn up in the next couple of weeks in playoff preparation.

And even with their undefeated regular season, the Stunts will also have to prepare non-stop heading into February. With three teams breathing down their necks, they can ill-afford to rest on their laurels. In summation, the Stunts can’t get cocky…and the purple brain trust won’t allow that to happen.

“We’re really grounded people,” said Steele. “We’re not arrogant at all. We just really love what we love to do and that can go a long way.”

And that is a luxury.

jan-2012-bout-two-box-score

OFFICIAL SCORING

STUNT DEVILS – Might Mighty Boston 52, South City Shiner 38, Artemischief 35, Morgan LeFaetal 22

SMASHINISTAS – Downtown Dallis 53, The Educator 20, Boom Boom Pow 7

standings-2011-12-after-jan-bout1

St. Louis…40 West…Near Compton…Near Chaifetz Arena Exit…Billboard…BIG!!!

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ARRG ALL-STARS JOIN POWERFUL REGIONAL EXPO SQUAD!

Members of the ARRG All-Stars have joined a regional exhibition flat-track franchise consisting of top-flight skaters from the WFTDA North Central.

Midwest MEGAteam – which features five ARRG skaters – will face the Naptown Tornado Sirens in an exhibition bout this Saturday in Indianapolis, IN.

Veteran all-stars Grave Danger, Downtown Dallis, Mayor Francis Slayer and Chewblocka will represent ARRG on the flat track, while Shimmy Hoffa will serve as a bench coach.

Other members of Midwest MEGAteam scheduled for the Saturday bout include: Ol’ Drrrty Go-Go, Jackie Daniels, Karmageddon and Ruth Enasia (Windy City Rollers), Phoenix Bunz, Outta My WayMan and Amy Spears (Ohio Rollergirls), High D’Voltage and Grace Killy (Brewcity Bruisers), Bloody Elle (Chicago Outfit) and Ivanna Destroya (Burning River Roller Girls).

To find out more about Midwest MEGAteam, go to their Facebook page RIGHT HERE.

NEXT WEEK IN THE ARRG NEWSCENTER: We’ll assess the final regular season outputs of all four squads and see what future implications hold in store for February’s post-season round as Magilla Guerilla checks in with another edition of “Guerilla Uncaged.”

Check back in this section Monday mornings for the latest in ARRG news/information.

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REFLECTIONS: ARRG 2011 YEAR IN REVIEW!

TWELVE MONTHS OF DERBY RECAPPED IN 3,300 WORDS!

by the Grand Poobah, ARRG Bout Co-Announcer – Photos by Bob Dunnell

Here at the ARRG Newscenter, we’ve never attempted to do a “Year in Review” column before.

The task seems daunting. After all, there was no true “off-season” this year for one of St. Louis’ hottest athletic franchises.

But perhaps that’s half the fun in compiling this reflection of the last twelve months. There is so much more to this league than just the scores on the flat-track.

With all aspects invested physically and mentally, the hard-working women (and men) of this league perpetually pushed its activity into full-throttle during 2011.

In short, it was business as usual.

A recap of the Arch Rival Roller Girls in 2011:

JANUARY

ARRG’s 2010-11 local season continued its whirlwind progression to kick off the new year. At the January 8 doubleheader at All-American Sports Mall, undefeated Rebel Skate Alliance utilized a 38-0 first-half run to pick up a 171-102 victory over the M-80s. The 70-point win netted RSA the top seed in the upcoming post-season playoff scramble. Smarty McFly scored 77 in the win for RSA while EnYa Nightmare clawed out 60 for the M-80s. In the nightcap, Downtown Dallis scored 49 points to help the Smashinistas gain a 93-73 victory over the defend champion Stunt Devils. The Smashies would earn the second seed with the 20-point win.

ARRG’s Saint Lunachix – the league’s traveling team of developmentals – picked up two road wins to start the first month of the calendar year. On January 9, the Chix hammered Springfield (MO) 286-67. Two weeks later, the Lunachix bested the CoMo Derby Dames 206-40 in Columbia, MO.

On January 15, ARRG held its third annual trivia night in Maplewood. Over 250 brainiacs competed in the multi-team, multi-round event that supported ARRG operational costs for the season. One lucky 50/50 drawing winner netted over $900 at the event.

Longtime local television producer/critic Aaron Mermelstein from St. Louis’ Higher Education Channel produced a feature on ARRG entitled “Heads of Skate.” The featured aired on HEC-TV and its website throughout the month.

ARRG made a return to the St. Louis Auto Show, held at America’s Center the weekend of January 28. Fans and first-timers were treated to multiple exhibition bouts as the weekend progressed. This marked ARRG’s second appearance with the yearly show, much to the dismay of your local KIA dealership.

FEBRUARY

For being one of the shortest months of the year, there was literally action on and off the flat-track perpetually in February.

The month saw the ARRG All-Stars – sporting a #11 ranking in the WFTDA North Central region – begin its 2011 campaign with a February 5 road trip to Indianapolis to face the Naptown Tornado Sirens, ranked sixth at the time of the match-up. In front of 3,500 at the Indianapolis Convention Center, St. Louis erased a 30-point first-half deficit and posted a 69-60 lead at intermission. The moral victory was short lived as Naptown pounded out power jam after power jam. A 92-38 second-half Naptown rebound handed ARRG a 152-105 season opening loss. Jammer South City Shiner topped ARRG scoring with 52 points.

Intraleague action continued on February 12 as ARRG began its two-event local playoff scramble at All-American Sports Mall in front of 1,000 fans. In first round action that featured re-matches from the prior month, top-seeded Rebel Skate Alliance topped the M-80s 146-99. The twin-attack of RSA’s McFly and Starry Starry Fight scored 64 and 58 points, respectively. In the other first round match-up, Dallis scored 53 points to pace the Smashinistas’ 87-58 victory over the Stunt Devils.

Media appearances continued for the league in February, including a front-page “Community” section feature in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch as well as appearances on KMOV-TV’s “Extra Edition,” Charter Cable’s “SIUE Global Village” and “STL Sportszone.” League members also assisted in an on-air wedding proposal that took place during a live broadcast of “Fox 2 News at 5 pm” on KTVI-TV.

enya-heat-up-st-louis-newThe ARRG Jeerleaders hosted its “Mardi Gras Ball” on February 26 at the South Broadway Athletic Club in Soulard. A percentage of the proceeds from the event funded the pep squad’s activities in 2011.

ARRG charitable efforts continued in February with appearances at Heat Up St. Louis, the 8th Annual Sports Trivia Championships, Big Brothers/Big Sisters Bowl for Kids’ Sake, the 2nd Annual Bethany Place Fashion Show and a fundraiser for Boy Scout Troop 777 of Wood River (IL).

MARCH

The next round of the 2010-11 ARRG playoffs – held at All-American Sports Mall – saw the undefeated streak continue for the top seed while the remaining three squads scramble for an invite to the league’s championship bout. Rebel Skate Alliance cruised to April’s trophy bout with a 155-77 victory over the Smashinistas. Meanwhile, a bout-winning last jam by Artemischief helped the Stunt Devils best the M-80s 89-87 in the other playoff bracket. With identical playoff records of 1-1 for both the Smashies and the Stunts Devils in the post-season, a larger point differential from bouts played garnered the Stunts the other title bout berth.

The March 11 post-season doubleheader marked ARRG’s final event held at All-American, ending a five-year run at the venue.

The following weekend, the ARRG All-Stars logged the most miles ever traveled in one weekend with a trek to Colorado. On March 20, ARRG defeated WFTDA West Region #10 Pikes Peak 155-101 in Colorado Springs. The victory evened ARRG’s 2011 travel record to 1-1. During the weekend, the All-Stars also faced the B-teams from Western powerhouses Rocky Mountain and Denver, earning a split in the win/loss column.

Meanwhile back home, the Saint Lunachix rolled to 191-58 victory over the Rockford Rage to improve to 3-0.

ARRG was featured on “Spot TV St. Louis,” which aired on KDNL-TV throughout the month.

APRIL

A new venue was the site of the 2010-11 ARRG local championships. Over 1,000 derby faithful packed Ballwin’s Midwest Sport Hockey on April 9 to witness a changing of the guard within the league. A 62-point lead at the half was enough to ensure a league championship for the expansion Rebel Skate Alliance. The 131-53 victory over the Stunt Devils concluded an unblemished six-win inaugural campaign. Starry Starry Fight finished with 47 points for RSA, while Party Foul and Smarty McFly added 43 and 41, respectively. Morgan LeFaetal paced the runner-up Stunts with 21 points.

In the league’s third place bout, rookie May Require Stitches scored 75 points to help the M-80s top the Smashinistas 127-107, which would be their one lone victory of the 2010-11 season. Downtown Dallis paced the fourth-place Smashinistas with 66 points.

The travel squads continued their respective journeys in the month, posting a pair of wins in the Hoosier State. On April 23 in Evansville, IN, the ARRG All-Stars picked up its first North Central victory of 2011 – and its second straight – in a 198-68 victory over Demolition City while the Saint Lunachix improved to 4-0 with a 101-49 win over DCRD’s Destruction Dames.

The ARRG Rookie Rivals – a developmental squad of unrostered ARRG skaters – began its 2011 campaign with a 75-40 loss to the CoMo Derby Dames Wreckoning Crew in Columbia, MO on April 24.

ARRG also participated with the inaugural intraleague season for the STLGatekeepers – St. Louis first mens’ roller derby franchise. Throughout the mens’ season, ARRG skaters competed in theme-oriented match-ups under various aliases. Exhibition bouts included battles between “Hoosiers vs. Hipsters” and “Cougars vs. Kittens.”

MAY

The ARRG All-Stars broke into the WFTDA North Central Top 10 as the month began, climbing one spot to reach the tenth position. In defense of the climb, the All-Stars hosted #11 Ohio at Midwest Sport Hockey on May 14. Down 49-40 at intermission, ARRG turned on the jets in the second half, outscoring the Buckeyes 107-20 in the second half en route to a 147-69 win. Downtown Dallis scored 61 for the locals, who improved to 3-1. In the doubleheader’s opener, ARRG’s Saint Lunachix saw its record receive its first blemish of the season in a 215-103 loss to Springfield (MO). Black Market Baby scored 45 for the Chix, who dropped to 4-1.

The following weekend, ARRG collectively put together its best “A/B” punch in league history, picking up four collective wins at the second installment of Midwest Brewhaha in Franklin, WI. The ARRG All-Stars, riding high off the Ohio victory, posted wins over a pair of solid North Central squads. On day one of the invitational, ARRG raced out to a 45-point halftime lead en route to a 129-72 upset victory over then-ranked #9 Chicago Outfit. Downtown Dallis paced ARRG with 55 points. The next day, the All-Stars staved off a tough challenge from #15 Burning River. Despite an early deficit, a shutdown by the blocking schematic helped ARRG prevail over Cleveland’s best, 149-87. Boston netted 60 in the win for the All-Stars, who finished Brewhaha 2-0 while netting its fifth straight win to improve to 5-1 overall.

For the ARRG developmentals, the brew tasted smooth as well. A pair of wins for the Saint Lunachix as they topped the Brewcity Battlestars 166-85 and Mad Rollin’ Dolls Team Unicorn 200-92. Munchausen by Foxy scored 60 and Morgan LeFatael scored 68 in the respective wins. The two-bout sweep improved the team’s record to 6-1.

Riding high on the success of the 2010-11 local season, ARRG was featured in the May cover story of St. Louis Sports Magazine.

JUNE

The ARRG All-Stars continued their hard charge within the WFTDA North Central region on June 11 with a 181-40 win over #7 Northstar at Midwest Sport Hockey. The locals outscored the Supernovas 123-17 in the second half to pick up their sixth straight win. Mighty Mighty Boston stomped out 77 points and the blocking featured its most fluid work of the season. The attention-getting win over Northstar – supplemented by the overall region winning streak – helped ARRG steadily move up the North Central rankings ladder and positioned the squad into Derby News Network’s Top 25 Power Rankings for the first time since 2009.

Also at the June bout, the league presented a check to Girls’ Incorporated of St. Louis – ARRG’s charity partner for the 2010-11 season – for $2,200. The funds raised benefited the non-for-profit’s after school athletic and educational programs.

Off the flat-track during the month, the league raced for the cure, showed off its pride and grappled in gelatinous goop. On June 4, ARRG participated in the 13th Annual Komen Race for the Cure held in downtown St. Louis. The event drew over 66,000 participants and raised $3 million locally. The league, along with the STL Gatekeepers, skated in the 31st Annual Pride St. Louis Parade, held June 25 on Grand Avenue near Forest Park. The weekend event drew over 80,000 spectators. That same weekend, ARRG presented its most non-traditional fundraiser to date, a PG-rated “sports entertainment-style” jello wrestling event at FUBAR downtown. The monies raised helped ARRG travel expenses for the summer.

JULY

The Fourth of July weekend saw the ARRG Rookie Rivals pick up its first victory of the season in a 177-59 win in the inaugural bout of the Dark River Derby Coalition of Quincy, IL.

On the weekend of July 9, the three ARRG travel teams found themselves in the Windy City for a trifecta of bouts against the Chicago Outfit. In Saturday’s main event at Windy City Fieldhouse, the Syndicate avenged its May Brewhaha setback with a 164-104 whacking of the ARRG All-Stars. Lola Blow scored 73 points for the Syndicate, who stopped ARRG’s win streak at six with the victory. In the B-team opener, jammer Boom Boom Pow scored 66 points – all recorded in the second half – as ARRG’s Saint Lunachix topped the Outfit’s Shade Brigade 156-112. The next day, the ARRG Rookie Rivals scored its second win in as many weeks, besting the Chicago Outfit Shakedown 180-71.

Then on July 16, a stubborn blocking schematic helped the ARRG All-Stars get back on the winning track in a 137-59 home victory over North Central #14 Grand Raggidy at Midwest Sports Hockey. A 46-0 run to start the second half enabled ARRG to cruise to its seventh victory of the season. Mighty Mighty Boston picked up 63 points in the victory. In the doubleheader’s opener, the Saint Lunachix once again posted high numbers in a 205-49 victory over the Southern Illinois Roller Girls. Five different Chix scored double-digits in the winning onslaught, their fourth straight.

ARRG and the ARRG Jeerleaders presented the “Cheers to the Troops!” benefit at the South Broadway Athletic Club in Soulard on July 30. The event – featuring musicians, magicians, high-steppers, hula-hoopers, improve troupes…and burlesque – raised over $2,000 for the USO of Missouri, Inc.

AUGUST

ARRG travel teams split a pair of bouts in a cross-state road trip on August 13. The ARRG All-Stars fell to WFTDA South Central powerhouse Kansas City 146-80 in front of 2,000 at Municipal Auditorium. KCRW raced out to a 60-point lead at intermission to keep ARRG at bay. Kelley Young collected 55 points for Kansas City, who would go on to finish fourth at the WFTDA Championships later in the year.  ARRG was paced by Mighty Mighty Boston’s 45 points. In the opener, ARRG’s Saint Lunachix picked up its ninth win of the season with a 130-103 victory over KCRW’s Plan B.

One week later, multiple benchmarks were broken as the ARRG All-Stars jettisoned North Central #16 Sioux Falls 287-18 at Midwest Sport Hockey. ARRG set records for most points scored, fewest points allowed and margin of victory en route to its eighth victory of the season. A 97-0 first half scoring run set the tone in the match-up. Three different skaters posted over 70 points for All-Stars, which finished undefeated at home (4-0) in 2011.

Smashinistas and All-Star jammer Downtown Dallis is recognized nationally by the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association as its “Featured Skater of the Month.”

SEPTEMBER

On September 9 at Midwest Sport Hockey, ARRG hosted “Stop, Drop and Roller Derby,” a benefit for the West County EMS and Fire Protection District. The doubleheader night of derby action was highlighted by a competitive battle between ARRG’s Saint Lunachix and the St. Chux Derby Chix of St. Charles County. A 46-0 late first-half rally helped propel the Lunachix to a 138-98 win over SCDC. EnYa Nightmare scored 55 points for the Lunachix, who finished their 2011 campaign with a record of 10-1. G. I. Jamie collected 56 for SCDC, who one month later would achieve Apprentice Membership status into the WFTDA. 100% of the proceeds from “Stop, Drop and Roller Derby” went directly to the West County EMS and Fire Protection District.

The ARRG Rookie Rivals finished their 2011 campaign with a 2-2 record following a 173-48 setback to the St. Chux Derby Chix Hells Belles on September 24 in St. Peters.

OCTOBER

The ARRG All-Stars – now ranked eighth in the WFTDA North Central Region – returned to Indianapolis for “Monumental Mayhem,” the region’s post-season playoff on October 7. ARRG kicked off the Friday morning session with a 116-113 heart-stopping win over #9 Chicago Outfit in a bout that was determined on the final jam. Later in the day, the locals fell to top-seeded Windy City 200-82 and were sent into the consolation bracket. ARRG rebounded on Saturday with a 137-98 upset over #5 Cincinnati to advance to the fifth place bout. Donning “Gary F’n Sinise” jerseys for their rematch against Chicago Outfit on Sunday, ARRG was bested by the Syndicate 153-113 to finish sixth in the region. Overall, ARRG (10-5) finished five ranking positions higher in the North Central region from its January launch.

Mayor Francis Slayer recieves the ARRG All-Stars MVP award. (Photo credit: Holly GoFightMe)

RSA Supreme Commander and ARRG All-Star Chewblocka is recognized as “2010-11 ARRG League MVP” at the annual awards ceremony on October 22. Also picking up awards were Mayor Francis Slayer (All-Stars MVP), May Require Stitches (Rookie of the Year) and Downtown Dallis (Local Season Fan Favorite). Over 40 awards were presented at “Blood, Bath and Beyond” to recognize the on-and-off-the-track efforts of league skaters and personnel in 2011.

ARRG released its 2011-12 season schedule which included the listing of the 2012 local league championships, to be held at St. Louis University’s Chaifetz Arena on April 28, 2012. The local finale marks the first time that ARRG will hold a local championship within the City of St. Louis.

NOVEMBER

On November 5, the 2011-12 local season kicked off at Midwest Sport Hockey with an impressive display by two of ARRG’s legacy squads. Paced by Artemischief’s 46 points, the Stunt Devils topped defending champs RSA 122-77. Newcomer Pink Diamond topped RSA scoring with 31 points. Meanwhile, EnYa Nightmare posted 76 points – 30 collected off of one power jam – to help the M-80s best the Smashinistas 159-133. Downtown Dallis scored 49 for the Smashies.

ARRG continued its community outreach efforts in the month with clean-up efforts at the Forest Park Forever Honeysuckle Removal Project and for MODOT’s Adopt-A-Highway Program. The league also participated in the 2nd Annual Safe Connections Young Professionals Trivia Night and Art Attack, a benefit for KDHX radio.

Stunt Devils’ veteran and ARRG multi-year All-Star Grave Danger was featured as one of the “Top Singles of 2011″ in the November issue of St. Louis Magazine.

DECEMBER

Fans witnessed arguably the best double-header night of action in league history with a pair of knock-down drag-out bouts at Midwest Sport Hockey. With a 25-point power jam scored by Artemischief on the bout’s final jam, the Stunt Devils jumped into the standings lead with a 136-132 come-from-behind win over the M-80s. Munchausen by Foxy and EnYa Nightmare posted over 40 each to lead the M-80s in scoring. In the opener, a strong second-half scoring surge propelled the Smashinistas to a 123-102 win over RSA. The Educator posted 48 points to lead Smashie scoring while Stabby McCutcha collected 36 in a newfound jammer’s role.

Also at the December bout, a collaboration of efforts raised close to $1,400 in one night for a pair of local non-for-profits. Thanks to skater and team donations, matching contributions, a donation from a local  Lions’ Club and raffle participation by the fans, ARRG nation raised close to $1,200 for Safe Connections, the league’s charity partner for the season. $200 was also raised for Touchpoint Autism Services with the sale of XMAS ornaments created by league members.

The final weeks of the calendar year saw the league recognized nationally by the derby community with a pair of nominations in the annual Derby News Network’s Reader’s Choice Awards. The ARRG All-Stars were finalist for “Most Improved Team of 2011″ and its four-bout series against the Chicago Outfit was a finalist for “Best Rivalry of 2011″ category. Results for the year-end awards were being tabulated as of press time.

And there you have it….

Of course, this summation only highlights certain aspects of the league’s activities in the past calendar year. Keep in mind its involvement in the continuing development of derby of St. Louis goes well beyond what was listed here.

When one takes into consideration the planning, preparation and execution of all these items, one can see that involvement for those participating with the Arch Rival Roller Girls was truly a 24/7 effort in 2011.

In short it was a busy year…and we wouldn’t have it any other way.

For you – the ever-loving derby fan – we thank you for your patronage and support of the Arch Rival Roller Girls in 2011. We enjoyed the ride the last twelve months… and hopefully you did, too.

We look forward to the upcoming year and the treasures they bring. After all, isn’t the journey half the fun?

jan-12-2012-matchup5

The Grand Poobah and Magilla Guerilla are bout co-announcers for the Arch Rival Roller Girls. Check back in this section on Mondays for the latest in ARRG news/information.

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FINAL JAM HEROICS HELP STUNT DEVILS TOP M-80s!

SMASHINISTAS USE POWER, NET 21-POINT WIN OVER RSA!

by the Grand Poobah, ARRG Bout Co-Announcer- Photos by Bob Dunnell

(BALLWIN, MO) For the 700 in attendance Saturday night at the Arch Rival Roller Girls’ interleague doubleheader, they definitely got their money’s worth regardless of team allegiance. Two bouts that had outcomes that weren’t determined until the end. Specifically for the nightcap, a bout that wasn’t determined even after the official period clock had expired.

In event two of the three-event regular season, the Smashinistas utilized a strong second-half scoring surge to top defending league champion Rebel Skate Alliance 123-102 while a bout-concluding 25-point power jam by Artemischief pushed the Stunt Devils over the M-80s 136-132.

As a result of their four-point win, the Stunt Devils improved to 2-0 and sit atop the league standings. Meanwhile, the Smashinisitas’ first victory of the season pushed them to a second-place tie with the M-80s overall.

Most in attendance would concur that – from whistle to whistle – this was the most-balanced ARRG doubleheader since switching to the two-bout format one season prior. All would have to agree that the four local squads brought their best efforts to the flat-track.

If anything, Saturday night’s event makes one anticipate the next set of bouts, scheduled for Saturday, January 14, 2012, at Midwest Sport Hockey.

SMASHINISTAS 123    REBEL SKATE ALLIANCE 102

Over the last two seasons, the Smashinistas on paper have contained one of the more impressive line-ups in ARRG history. Yet, most of 2011 saw the camo-clad troops on the wrong end of the scoring column due to league parity and unfortunate luck. In fact, one has to go back to Februrary to find the last Smashie “W”.

Consider that long drought over following the-21 point win over the defending league champions Saturday night that evened their record to 1-1.

“We did not want to go 0-2,” said jammer Downtown Dallis following the bout. “We prepared for this. We wanted this.”

But even with all that preparation, RSA – a squad missing two skaters, including high-scoring co-captain Smarty McFly, for the second straight bout – would not go down without a struggle.

In fact at one point during the first half, RSA seemed to be doing just fine with only ten skaters, half of which were new to the franchise this season.

326558_10150404815944716_590594715_8695062_415860894_oThe Smashinistas posted back-to-back four pointers by Dallis and The Educator off the first two jams to grab a quick 8-0 lead.

Following a 2-2 stalemate on the next jam to make the score 10-2, the Educator would race out in front and grab lead jammer for the Smashies. But after scoring nine points, the veteran was sent off for a track cut. The ensuing  non-lead powerjam for RSA enabled Chewblocka to score 13 points and whittled the Smashie lead to 19-15 at the 23:20 mark.

Then after cutting the lead down to 21-18 one jam later, RSA’s Pink Diamond posted a four-pointer to give the defending champs its first lead of the night, a 22-21 RSA edge with 19:40 remaining.

A ping-pong of points tied the score 26-26 two jams later. RSA’s Stabby McCutcha and Diamond would notch back-to-back treys to build up a 32-26 advantage. The Smashies’ Educator utilized a 9-3 strike two jams later to tie the score at 35-35 with 12:00 left in the first half.

After a pair of scoreless jams, Boom Boom Pow notched five points for the Smashinistas, who grabbed a 40-35 lead.

And that would be the final points scored by the Smashies for the half…which unfortunately for them still had 9:00 remaining.

By capitalizing on a pair of power jams, RSA went on a 32-0 run in the latter stretches of the first half. McCutcha’s eight-point powerjam at the 8:00 mark resulted in another lead change – a 43-40 edge for RSA, which was followed by Diamond’s 14-point tally two jams later to extend the lead to 61-40.

In short, the Smashie guns were silenced due to self-inflicted penalties. At intermission, RSA possessed a 67-40 lead.

“They were being very opportunistic tonight,” said Dallis of the late-half RSA charge. “They’re unpredictable and that’s what really threw us off. In fact, we weren’t ready for it.”

322888_10150404816119716_590594715_8695065_478130803_oSo, what to do when it seems like the wheels are stuck in slow motion?

“We came up with a plan,” said Dallis.

And in this case, it would be a trip to the “Smashie School of Hard Knocks,” instructed by The Educator, who cut the deficit to 67-45 with a five-pointer scored to begin the second half.

“She went hard at people,” said Dallis of her teammate. “She was confident and that really inspired us to be more aggressive and attack. We really rely on her to make a lot of things happen and we rely on her to bring us that momentum.”

And that momentum resulted in a 29-0 run for the Smashies as the half progressed. Dallis notched separate scores of four and five points to chip the lead down to 67-54 five minutes into the second half.

Then with 24:15 left in the half, RSA found itself in penalty purgatory. A power jam ensued, which enabled the Smashies’ Pow to notch a ’15-point punch.

And just like that, the RSA lead had been obliterated. Thanks to a stubborn blocking schematic paced by Eli Wallop, Shimmy Hoffa, Punches PileUp, Shell Shoxx and a host of others, the Smashies now sported a 69-67 advantage…and still had plenty of ammunition to potentially fire.

325396_10150404817394716_590594715_8695082_1412252934_oFollowing a three-pointer by the Educator, another RSA misstep resulted in another power jam for the Smashinistas. This time, Dallis collected 18 points to extend the lead to 90-68 with 18:50 left.

Then following an exchange of points that made the game a 95-75 teaser, RSA would again hand the Smashies a power jam situation. The Educator posted 19 to stretch the lead to 114-75 with 13:15 left.

Undaunted, RSA kept pace and posted a 27-9 run down the stretch, propelled by a McCutcha 8-point power jam with 10:00 remaining.  Although they had pulled to within 25 points with 7:30 left – the gap was too much to overcome as the Smashies utilized effective clock management and preserved a “blackjack-point” margin of victory.

The Smashinistas outscored RSA 83-25 in the second half to grab the 21-point win and even its record to the .500 mark. Unofficially, Educator paced the victors with 48 points scored followed by Dallis’ 44 and Pow’s 31-point effort.

More importantly for the Smashinistas, the victory gave the squad a morale boost heading into an imperative match-up next month against the Stunt Devils, the leader of the local standings.

“I have never seen the Smashies more motivated than what I saw after the game,” said Dallis. “We celebrated for a very short time and then we immediately began to focus.”

And one would have to believe that that focus is going to be very intense as the weeks progress.

Conversely, one would have to agree that the efforts of Rebel Skate Alliance were far superior compared to its season opening sputter. Modifications to the rotation and a newfound jammer in McCutcha pushed the 10-skater roster in a positive direction.

RSA (0-2) was unofficially paced by McCutcha’s 36 points, followed by Diamond’s 35.

dec-2011-bout-one-box-score

UNOFFICIAL SCORING

SMASHINISTAS – The Educator 48, Downtown Dallis 44, Boom Boom Pow 31

RSA – Stabby McCutcha 36, Pink Diamond 35, Chewblocka 17, Party Foul 15

STUNTS DEVILS 136    M-80s 132

“From the souls of your feet, with every ounce of blood you’ve got in your body, lay it on the line until the final whistle blows.” - quoted from the motion picture, “We Are Marshall” (2006).

A long-term rivalry was renewed in a bout that would net the victor the top spot in the league standings.

“We knew going into this game that the M-80s are a really strong team,” said Stunt Devil jammer/blocker Artemischief of the match-up of unbeatens. “They looked fantastic last game. We knew that they were going to be a super tough, but we knew that we were strong, too.”

It resulted in a barnburner that took numerous twists and turns for the entire sixty minutes…and then some.

290672_10150404769429716_590594715_8694781_1943418612_oBoth teams fired volleys to start the first half and defensive blocking held the offenses at bay. Points were collected few and far between as the M-80s built up a 14-10 lead ten minutes into the bout.

Then a veteran firecracker popped the first scoring explosion of the bout as M-80s’ co-captain Science Friction capitalized on a Stunt jamming miscue and raced out to a power jam. A 20-point tally ensued and extended the M-80s’ lead to 34-10 with 19:10 remaining.

The Stunts retaliated with a power jam of their own. Artemischief’s 12-point counterstrike at 16:30 whittled the lead to a dozen points, 34-22.

The M-80s methodically built a comfortable lead as the half progressed. A strong wall of blocking provided by May Require Stitches, Vandetta Vango, The Siege, Rhino Might and a host of others allowed the ladies in red to build up points at a 2-1 ratio – a 36-18 run resulted in a 70-40 M-80s’ advantage with under 2:00 left in the half.

Or at least it was a comfortable lead, until the final jam of the first half.

In a rare moment of miscommunication, the M-80s failed to send a jammer out onto the track. Once the whistle blew to start the jam, the M-80s would be forced to skate the entire jam jammerless. The omission gave a free jam to the Stunts which resulted in an 18-point mosh by Mighty Might Boston, which narrowed to the M-80s’ lead to 70-58 at intermission.

291119_10150404790449716_590594715_8694837_499232977_oBoston started the second half by scoring four to whittle the deficit to eight, 70-62. Then following a 4-2 jam by the M-80s to make the score 74-64, South City Shiner posted a five-point strike for the Stunts, chipping away the lead to 74-69 with 25:00 remaining.

With the margin reduced to five points, the M-80s proceeded to barrel out a 15-0 run over the next two jams in order to give the leaders some breathing room. EnYa Nightmare scored twelve and Black Market Baby followed with three to extend the M-80s lead to 89-69.

Shiner countered for the Stunts and posted eight on the next jam to whittle the lead to a dozen points, 89-77 with 18:40 remaining.

As the middle stretch of the second half progressed, the M-80s used a 19-7 run to stretch the lead to 108-84.

Then with 11:00 remaining, the seeds were planted for a sprint to the finish, paced by the Stunts’ Artemischief. The ARRG veteran scored five with 9:30 left to cut the gap to 108-89.

Then by utilizing the open lanes created by blockers Mayor Francis Slayer, Grave Danger, Deathica Steele and others, she posted another 18 on the next jam, which made the bout an one-point affair, 108-107 with 7:15 remaining.

The M-80s would stop the surge with a pair of four-pointers collected by Nightmare, which extended the lead to 116-107 with 4:20 left.

340206_10150404774869716_590594715_8694795_451063093_oBlack Market Baby then capitalized on a Stunts’ jamming miscue, resulting in a power jam for the M-80s. A 14-point strike was delivered by the co-captain and gave the M-80s a 130-111 lead at the two-minute warning.

The Stunts grabbed lead jammer status on the next jam, but failed to gain points due to the stubborn M-80s blocking schematic. As result, the deficit for the Stunts was still 19 points with :35 left on the official period clock and Artmischief donning the star for the bout’s final jam.

“There’s two things you have to do when you’re down by that many points at the end,” said the Stunt anchor of the scenario. “You have to make the other jammer foul and you have to get lead.”

And that’s precisely what happened.

After Artemischief gained lead jammer for the Stunts with under :30 remaining on the official period clock, a pair of M-80 skaters – including its jammer – were sent to the penalty box.

The Stunt Devils’ power jam culminated as the official period clock reached gooseeggs, yet 1:25 remained on the jam clock, which gave the Stunts plenty of time to slash at the lead…and mash the hard-fought efforts of the M-80s.

Artemischief proceeded to post grand slam after grand slam. Altogether, five full laps against the opposition netted a 25-point counter-clockwise clobber on the bout’s final jam. What was once a 19-point Stunt deficit transformed into a four-point Stunt victory.

In reference to the opening line of the recap, the Stunts had indeed laid it on the line until the final whistle blew.” The 136-132 come-from-behind victory enabled the Stunts to grab sole possession of first place in the league standings.

“That was fun….I miss jamming!” beamed Artemischief, who finished unofficially with a team-high 65 points. “Everything fell into place. This helps gives us the confidence that we need and it gives us a good idea of what we need to do going into training.”

Boston added 36 and Shiner collected 27 for the Stunts, who improved to 2-0.

However, one could argue that the Stunt Devils dodged a bullet…not once, but twice in this bout. Granted, the team brought the “pitchfork-itude” needed to poke its way to victory. But conversely, the M-80s’ meltdown on the last jam of each period surely helped matters.

Suffice to say that even with the win, the Stunts can’t get too cocky heading into next month’s battle with the Smashinistas.

“We know there are some things that we’re going to have to work on,” said Artemisichief of the January 12 event. “We’re going to spend the next couple of weeks sharpening those tools and we’re going to come out fighting.”

And one now knows that will fight will go on until the final whistle blows.

Unofficially, Munchausen by Foxy paced the M-80s – who dropped to 1-1 in the standings – with 45 points followed by Nightmare’s 35.

dec-2011-bout-two-box-score

UNOFFICIAL SCORING

STUNT DEVILS – Artemischief 65, Mighty Mighty Boston 36, South City Shiner 27, Morgan LeFaetal 8

M-80s – Munchausen By Foxy 45, EnYa Nightmare 39, Science Friction 27, Black Market Baby 18, May Require Stitches 3

standings-after-dec-2011-bouts

NEXT WEEK IN THE ARRG NEWSCENTER: You’ve read the x’s and o’s of what occurred this past weekend! Now we’ll analyze the flat-track mayhem. We’ll get down and dirty with ARRG bout co-announcer Magilla Guerilla as he reflects on a dramatic night of doubleheader derby with another installment of “Guerilla Uncaged.”

jan-12-2012-matchup

The Grand Poobah and Magilla Guerilla are bout co-announcers for the arch Rival Roller Girls. Check back in this section on Monday for the latest in ARRG news/information.

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NORTH CENTRAL SHAKE-UP: ARRG CRUSHES # 7!

181-40 ROUT OVER NORTH STAR NETS SIXTH STRAIGHT WIN!

by an ARRG Announcer

(BALLWIN, MO) The complexion of the WFTDA North Central rankings is about to get a serious overhaul.

A 123-point second half barrage helped #10 ARRG upend the #7 North Star Supernovas 181-40 Saturday night at Midwest Sport Hockey in front of 600.

The win gave ARRG (6-1) its sixth straight win in 2011, its fifth North Central victory in the last two months and its second rout of a higher-ranked regional rival in the last four weeks.

“The pressure was on (us) for this bout,” said jammer Mighty Mighty Boston, who paced ARRG with 77 points. “We knew a win could launch us forward in the rankings and a loss could make the validity of our previous wins questionable.”

Questionable no more. In the process, ARRG picked up its first franchise victory over the scrappy Minnesotans.

More importantly, the ARRG win potentially solidified a possible invite to the WFTDA North Central playoffs in Indianapolis come October.

North Star would grab the first points of the bout with a two-point score by Roller Vixen to give the visitors a 2-0 lead.

ARRG would notch the first of many uncontested scoring streaks thereafter with a 21-0 run in the bout’s next three jams. ARRG jammer South City Shiner’s three-pointer would be followed by a 13-point strike by Boston to give the locals a 16-2 lead four minutes in.

Downtown Dallis added five more on the next jam to extend ARRG’s lead to 21-2 with 23:20 left in the first half.

Arch Rival would begin to methodically control the first half scoring, posting four and five-pointers in succession to build a 58-23 lead at intermission.

But the best was yet to come.

North Star jammer Kim Gallant scored five to begin the second half to cut the gap to 58-28.

Dallis would follow with a 10-point powerjam for ARRG immediately after and begin a 15-0 run for the “pink and black attack.” Shiner added five on the next jam to extend the ARRG lead to 73-28 with 26:20 remaining.

ARRG would then go on blinding run beginning at the 21:00 mark – a 47-0 run in the bout’s next five jams.

Back-to-back five-pointers scored by Boston and Smarty McFly would extend the lead to 85-32.

Boston then returned to the flat track to deliver the death blow – a 30-point “mighty jam” scored with 16:00 remaining – that gave ARRG an 115-32 edge.

“My blockers worked hard in order for me to get it,” said the All-Star rookie of the strike. “Powerjams are fun. They get the bench, blockers and the other jammers fired up.”

Conversely, North Star was snuffed out in the second half, being held to eight points in the bout’s last twenty minutes.

ARRG outscored North Star 123-17 in the second half to pick up the 141-point win, and in essence, validate the current six game winning streak.

“Teamwork was key for us in the bout,” said Boston. “We kept our composure on the bench and the track the entire game.

Official WFTDA statistics validate that statement as North Star accumulated almost two-thirds of the bout’s total penalty minutes. That and a pair of Supernova implosions by expulsion didn’t help the cause.

Downtown Dallis contributed 55 points for ARRG while South City Shiner added 31.

North Star (2-2) was paced by Kim Gallant’s 12 points.

The Supernovas’ defeat – its’ second lopsided in a row against a lower-ranked North Central rival – may have perilous playoff implications. With no more games scheduled for the remainder of the summer, North Star’s 0-2 record in the region does not reflect well in the argument for a playoff spot when tournament seedings are released by the WFTDA in July.

Conversely for ARRG, the dominating victories over North Star and #9 Chicago Outfit could push them up the rankings ladder – a ladder that has been scaled one rung at a time in 2011.

“ARRG is a new team this season and this win confirms the strength of our team,” said Boston. “This was a huge win for the All-Stars.”

ARRG returns to action on Saturday, July 9 in a road re-match against the Chicago Outfit and returns to Midwest Sport Hockey in Ballwin to face North Central #13 Grand Raggidy on Saturday, July 16.

box-score-north-star-2011-bout1

OFFICIAL WFTDA SCORING

ARRG: Mighty Mighty Boston 77, Downtown Dallis 55, South City Shiner 31, Smart McFly 10, Party Foul 4, The Educator 4

NORTH STAR: Kim Gallant 12, Roller Vixen 7, Meg U Bleed 5, Obscene Sheen 4, Kayzilla 4, Dreidel Robber 4, Katerina Hitt 3, Scarlett Raven 1

arrg-vs-graggidy-july

DOMINATING GATEKEEPERS REMAIN UNDEFEATED!

In men’s flat track action prior to Saturday’s ARRG/North Star bout, a 76-0 first half run helped the STLGatekeepers – the #1 team in the Men’s Roller Derby Association – pound the #7 Twin Cities Terrors 207-43.

The Gatekeepers (5-0) would race out to a 25-8 lead six minutes in thanks to a 16-point jam by Shanego Fett.

This would begin a 21-0 run for the locals. Unfortunately for Twin Cities, this was just the beginning of their troubles.

On the next jam, Twin Cities jammer Jonathan Elliot was involved in a collision that resulted in a torn rotator cuff. The loss of the Terror’s top scorer resulted in a shuffling of the line-up that could ill afford to lose a main cog of the offense.

Meanwhile, St. Louis’ offense was just getting warmed up. Fett’s 20-pointer midway through the half and Short Knocks‘ 29-point powerjam in the waning minutes helped the Gatekeepers build a 122-12 lead at the break.

Double-digit jams by Debaucherous Prime and Gnat King Kill continued the onslaught in the second half. The Gatekeepers outscored Twin City 85-31 in the second half to finish the regular season undefeated.

ARRG CONTINUES CHARITABLE EFFORTS!

Even with the constant demands of derby, the Arch Rival Roller Girls make it a priority to give back to the community that has been supportive of the league.

On Saturday morning, ARRG participated in the 13th Annual Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in downtown St. Louis.

Thanks to its contributors, Team ARRG raised $590 locally for breast cancer and research care.

The event, which drew 66,000 participants, raised $3 million locally.

On Saturday night, ARRG presented Girls Incorporated of St. Louis – ARRG’s charity recipient for the 2010-2011 intraleague season – a check for over $2,200.

The local non-for-profit – which celebrates its 30th anniversary in 2011 – provides educational and cultural programs in safe environments for girls that enable them to raise their aspirations and realize their potential.

All raffle proceeds collected will go to help fund news sports equipment for the center and fund a number of after school program scholarships.

ARRG would like to give special thanks to the area businesses that contributed items to the charity raffle drawings and to the public that participated in them.

ARRG will continue its efforts throughout 2011 with more special events. We’ll keep you posted here at the Newscenter.

NEXT WEEK IN THE ARRG NEWSCENTER: ARRG prepares for a unique fundraiser. And as old school pro wrestler Baron Von Raschke would say, “Dat’s all da people needz to know!” We’ll explain more next week.

This online columnist for a local roller derby league who does not have anything to do with “Derbymatic 2.0″ or any former version thereof (after all, I wouldn’t want to confuse the national derby scene) and Hells LaBelle are bout announcers for the Arch Rival Roller Girls. Check back in this section on Mondays for the latest in ARRG news, information and simple mathematics.

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SAY CHEESE: FOUR WINS AT MIDWEST BREWHAHA!

SMILES APLENTY FOR ARRG IN WEEKEND WISCONSIN TRIP!

by the Grand Poobah (Story constructed from online footage via Derby News Network)

(FRANKLIN, WI) In 2007, the editorial staff at Money as well as cable television network CNN listed Franklin, Wisconsin as one of the “Top 100 Cities to live in the US.”

But this past weekend, ARRG Nation rechristened Franklin as “the happiest place on earth” after the league won all its bouts at Midwest Brewhaha 2011.

2011brewhaha_poster_final_small_050511The two-day event, hosted by the Brewcity Bruisers, featured 23 bouts with representation from 17 leagues within the WFTDA North Central region.

It’s the kind of invitational that garners a lot of attention, within and outside the region. Eight leagues ranked in the region’s current top 10 participated. Do well here and those who follow flat-track roller derby will take notice.

In the end, ARRG garnered a lot of attention this past weekend.

The ARRG All-Stars – currently ranked tenth in the WFTDA North Central region – defeated #9 Chicago Outfit 129-72 Saturday and #15 Burning River 149-87 Sunday.

Meanwhile, the Saint Lunachix – ARRG’s developmental squad – bested the Brewcity Battlestars 166-85 Saturday and Mad Rollin’ Dolls Team Unicorn 200-92 Sunday.

The pair of wins for the ARRG All-Stars – winners of five straight – improved the team’s record to 5-1 overall. The Saint Lunachix improved to 7-1 with their wins.

In the end, the trip to the Badger State was proved successful and provided the momentum needed as the squads head into the second half of the travel season.

This is especially true for the ARRG All-Stars, who host North Central’s #7 Northstar on Saturday, June 11 at Midwest Sport Hockey in Ballwin, MO. Tickets for that bout, which also features a men’s bout between the STLGatekeepers and the Twin City Terrors are on sale now at BROWN PAPER TICKETS.

BREWHAHA SATURDAY

ARRG ALL-STARS 129  CHICAGO OUTFIT SYNDICATE 72

The main event of the Saturday session featured the teams ranked ninth and tenth in the North Central region.

ARRG raced out to a quick 11-0 lead following South City Shiner’s opening jam. The Outfit’s Queefer Sutherland would counter with six on the next jam to cut the lead in half.

At the 20:00 mark, ARRG’s Mighty Mighty Boston would score four to extend the local’s lead to 17-8. The Outfit would strike back with Lola Blow’s six-pointer to whittle the gap down to 17-14.

Arch Rival would go an 11-3 run midway through the half. Boston scored two while Shiner and Downtown Dallis added five and four respectively for ARRG, who sported a 28-17 lead with 12:00 left in the half.

The Outfit would chip away at the lead as Blow would collect four to cut the lead to 28-21 with 10:00 left.

And then the bout’s defining moment came with the next jam. The Outfit’s Sweet Mary Pain gained lead jammer status and quickly scored five to reduce ARRG’s lead to 28-26. But after her initial scoring pass, Pain was sent to the penalty box for a track cut. This – along with two other Chicago skaters in the sin bin – allowed ARRG’s Dallis to capitalize and rack up 15 points. What was once a 28-26 nail biter at the 8:40 mark had now been upended into a 43-27 ARRG advantage sixty seconds later.

Then ARRG formed its own mafia and fitted the Outfit with “concrete shoes.” With 7:00 left in the half, the pink and black attack went on a 28-0 run. The Educator scored five and Boston followed with three. Dallis would then net another powerjam for ARRG, glide a 20-pointer and give the locals a 71-27 lead with 1:30 left.

The 47-9 ARRG sprint in the half’s final ten gave St. Louis’ best on quads a 75-30 halftime lead.

To its credit, the Syndicate came out firing to begin the second half. An 11-0 run closed the gap to 75-41 with 24:40 remaining.

But following the mini-rally, ARRG finally “whacked” its opposition. ARRG would go on a 24-0 run during the bout’s next five minutes. Punctuated by a pair of nine-pointers by Educator and Boston, ARRG built up a 99-41 with 19:00 left.

ARRG maintained its margin for the remainder of the bout and “finished the job” with Boston’s 10-pointer on the bout’s final jam.

ARRG outscored the Outfit 54-42 in the second half to pick up the 57-point win. Dallis paced ARRG with 45 points while Boston contributed 39. Shiner posted 23 while Educator collected 22.

The Outfit was led by Sutherland’s 25 points.

SAINT LUNACHIX 166   BREWCITY BATTLESTARS 85

After dropping their first bout of the season two weeks ago, the Saint Lunachix refocused in the Saturday night match-up against the Battlestars. Utilizing a four-jammer rotation, this Chix raced out to a 24-5 lead ten minutes in.

The Chix would go on an 11-0 run beginning at the 19:30 mark. Thanks to BeatN’Chix Kiddo‘s three-pointer and four-point tallies by Morgan LeFaetal and Munchausen By Foxy, the Lunachix pulled out to a 35-3 lead.

Foxy would post a 10-point powerjam at 12:10 to extend the Lunachix’s lead to 44-10.

As the first half progressed, the Lunachix went on a 27-0 run – punctuated by Foxy’s 15 point power-jam – to keep the momentum rolling. The locals sported an 83-23 lead at intermission.

Unfortunately for the Battlestars, the Chix slammed the door shut early in the second half. Foxy’s 19-pointer extended the lead to 102-23.

The Chix would outscore Brewcity 83-62 in the second half to pick up their sixth victory of the season.

Foxy led the Saint Lunachix with unofficially 60 points. Morgan LeFaetal contributed 29.

BREWHAHA SUNDAY

ARRG ALL-STARS 149    BURNING RIVER 87

Perhaps it was the euphoria still lingering from the night before, perhaps it was the lack of coffee. Regardless, the mid-morning bout against Burning River saw ARRG in an uncomfortable deficit early.

Thanks to multi-point strikes by CoCo Sparx and The Killastrator, Burning River built a 34-12 lead twelve minutes in.

During the bout’s next four jams, ARRG would chip away at the lead and whittle it down to four. Mighty Mighty Boston’s 15-pointer scored at the 12:30 mark shaved Burning River’s lead down to 42-38.

ARRG would eventually tie the score 48-48 on Boston’s five-pointer with 8:30 left in the half. The locals would then score 12 unanswered points. Thanks to Downtown Dallis’ eight and South City Shiner’s four, ARRG built a 60-48 with six minutes left in the first frame.

Another uncontested scoring surge extended ARRG’s lead down the stretch. Smarty McFly’s nine-pointer contributed to a 13-0 late-half run for the Gateway City, which had posted a 77-53 lead at intermission.

ARRG began the second half with a 22-0 run, extending the lead to 99-53 four minutes in.

The locals outscored Burning River 72-26 in the second half en route to the two-bout sweep at Brewhaha.

Boston paced ARRG with unofficially 60 points, while Dallis unofficially netted 25.

SAINT LUNACHIX 200   MRD TEAM UNICORN 92

A fast start was in the wheelhouse for the Chix. A 21-0 run for the locals in the first five minutes set the pace early.

The Forecloser would follow with seven and Munchausen by Foxy added five to give the Saint Lunachix a 33-5 lead at the 20:10 mark.

Team Unicorn – the developmental squad of the Mad Rollin’ Dolls – would chip away at the lead, narrowing the gap to 48-36 with ten minutes left in first half.

The Chix would then score 13 unanswered points. A pair of four pointers by Foxy and Forecloser extended the lead to 61-36 with six minutes left.

To end the first half, the Chix – to the dismay of those who believe in fairy tales – beat the living stuffing out of the Unicorns. Morgan LeFaetal’s 24-point monster jam propelled the Lunachix lead to 93-40 at intermission.

The onslaught continued in the second half. LeFaetal collected another 24-pointer at the 24:10 mark to extend the lead to 127-44.

Boom Boom Pow’s 20-pointer at 20:30 finished a 53-0 run for the Lunachix, who sported a 152-44 advantage.

The comfortable margin gave the Chix an opportunity to experiment as the half progressed, resulting in new faces jamming and scoring down the stretch.

Trippity Hooha scored a 10-pointer with under 2:00 left to maintain the triple-digit lead while ARRG rookie Rhino scored 13 on the bout’s final jam to help the Chix reach the 200-point mark

Six different skaters posted double-digit scoring for the Saint Lunachix. LeFaetal paced the Lunachix with 68 points. The Forecloser contributed 40 points while Foxy posted 32.

SCORES AND RECAPS FROM MIDWEST BREWHAHA 2011 are online at Derby News Network.

arrg-vs-northstar-june1

Next week in the ARRG Newsletter: The league gears up for the annual Susan B. Komen Race for the Cure. Info on how you can help TEAM ARRG.

The Grand Poobah and Hells LaBelle are bout announcers for the Arch Rival Roller Girls. Check back in this section on Mondays for the latest in ARRG News and information.

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O-HI-NO: ARRG ALL-STARS BEAT NC #11!

EXPLOSIVE SECOND HALF LEADS TO 78-POINT WIN!

by the Grand Poobah

(BALLWIN, MO) When the ARRG All-Stars’ 2011 season was revealed last December, little did anyone know at the time that the team’s first home bout of the season would have such heavy implications six months later.

Photo credit: Papa Lippy

Photo credit: Papa Lippy

Fast forward to May 14, the WFTDA-sanctioned match-up featured the two North Central teams positioned at #10 and #11 in the most recent regional rankings.

That alone provided plenty of intrigue. With only the top ten-ranked teams eligible for the region’s post-season tournament, both squads that engaged in battle at Queeny Park would lay claim that they should be the ones invited to “the dance” in Indianapolis come October.

In short, win this one and the chances become better. Not a guarantee, but the chances become better nonetheless.

In the end for the locals, home cookin’ had never tasted so good.

Propelled by an explosive second half, the tenth-ranked ARRG All-Stars defeated #11 Ohio 147-69 Saturday night at Midwest Sport Hockey in front of 700 fans.

“We had to win this game,” said ARRG co-captain The Educator of the victory. “If we did not win this, it would be really hard to get into regionals.”

Not impossible, but the journey to the post-season tourney in the Circle City would be met with a major obstacle. Likewise, for Ohio – winners of three straight and six overall – the goal of reaching its league’s first-ever tourney invite would also be hampered with a loss.

With the stakes as high as they were for both squads, the action in the first half was about as high-paced and drama-filled as any bout that had ever been played in St. Louis.

Both teams traded punches early on. ARRG’s South City Shiner scored two to start but was countered by Ohio’s Kitty Liquorbottom, whose three-pointer gave OHRG a 3-2 lead three minutes in.

ARRG’s Mighty Mighty Boston reciprocated with three of her own to give the locals a 5-3 edge. Thanks to Boston’s five-pointer at the 22:45 mark, ARRG sported a 12-4 advantage.

It was at this time that action literally “sped up,” as pack play progressed to breakneck speeds, which resulted in back and forth action.

OHRG capitalized on a 7-0 run. Thanks to HellionBOI’s four-pointer, Ohio whittled down the ARRG lead to 12-11 at the 19:30 mark.

Then ARRG would fire the first crunching blow of the evening. Jammer Downtown Dallis scored a 14-pointer to extend the lead to 26-11.

And it seemed that all was in control for the “pink and black attack,” but the scrappy bunch of visiting Buckeyes had other intentions in mind. And thanks to self-inflicted ARRG penalties, OHRG seized opportunities when presented.

Midway through the first half, after Boston had collected four with an ARRG lead jam, the All-Star rookie was sent off for cutting the track. Ohio capitalized on the miscue as Phoenix Bunz collected 14 non-lead points for OHRG, who had whittled the lead down to 30-25.

Two jams later with ARRG skaters in the sin bin, Liquorbottom scored nine for OHRG, who regained the lead 34-30 with 11:30 left.

Once again, both teams traded points as the half progressed. As Ohio sported a 40-35 edge with five minutes left in the first half, Boston scored five to tie the score 40-40.

OHRG’s Liquorbottom would score five and four respectively on the half’s final jams. The 9-0 run deep in the half gave Ohio a 49-40 lead at intermission.

“Part of the reason we were down at the half was because we had so many people in the (penalty) box,” said Shiner of the nine-point halftime deficit. “We knew we had to clean it up.”

“We learned that we had to play the game in the second half with our brains and not so much by throwing our bodies around,” added Dallis.

For ARRG, it was lessons learned and almost re-learned to start the second half.

Ohio scored six with the first two jams to extend the lead to 55-40, its largest advantage of the bout to that point.

And unfortunately for the Buckeyes its last, as ARRG cleaned up its play and conversely OHRG began to show signs of frustration.

ARRG would go a 19-0 run beginning at the 23:45 mark. Shiner would score a 15-point powerjam to tie the score. Dallis’ four-pointer followed and would give the locals its first lead in quite some time - 59-55 with 22:00 left.

OHRG’s HellionBOI would counter with four of her own on the next jam, which resulted in a 59-59 stalemate with 20:20 left.

ARRG would then explode for a 30-2 run in the bout’s next six minutes. Shiner’s fiver would be followed by Dallis’ 15-point powerjam. Boston added 10 on the next jam for ARRG, which now sported a 89-61 lead with 14:40 left.

Points became few and far between down the stretch for a fatigued and foul-proned Ohio – a squad who brought only eleven skaters to St. Louis. The lone scoring came in a pair of treys from Liqourbottom in the bout’s final fifteen.

Conversely, ARRG collected a pair of double-digit scores from Dallis and Boston. Dallis’ 19-point power jam with six minutes left gave ARRG a 137-66 edge.

ARRG outscored Ohio 107-20 in the second half en route to their third consecutive victory.

“We needed this win,” said Dallis, who lead ARRG scoring unofficially 61 points.  ”We needed this for our confidence. We needed this to figure out what works for us.”

Mighty Might Boston unofficially netted 46 for ARRG (3-1) while South City Shiner added 24. The locals continue their busy North Central schedule this weekend at the Midwest Brewhaha in Franklin WI. ARRG plays ninth-ranked Chicago Outift on Saturday and #15 Burning River on Sunday.

Kitty Liquorbottom would pace OHRG with 43 points. Phoenix Bunz collected 14 while HellionBOI added 12. Ohio (6-3) travels this Saturday to face Chicago Outfit and #13 Bleeding Heartland at the Midwest Brewhaha to keep their post-season dreams alive.

Most importantly for the locals, the victory Saturday proved that ARRG has now become a more pro-active team.

“We know that we can play our own game and not be a reactive team,” said Dallis. “We are playing our game now.”

box-score-vs-ohio-redo

UNOFFICIAL SCORING

ARRG – Downtown Dallis 61, Mighty Mighty Boston 46, South City Shiner 24, The Educator 5

OHIO – Kitty Liquorbottom 43, Pheonix Bunz 14, HellionBOI 12.

(Poobah’s note: I admit, without co-announcer Hells LaBelle’s fine skills in real-time mathematics, I have +/- margin of five points for ARRG’s scoring. Due to my lousy statistical keeping, I probably gave pivot Mayor Francis Slayer 10 points. Happy belated birthday, Mayor. You are the benefactor of my poor note-keeping!)

LUNACHIX TRANSFIXED BY SPRINGFIELD

In Saturday’s opener, the Springfield Roller Girls utilized a 36-0 first half run en route to a 215-103 win over the Saint Lunachix, ARRG’s developmental squad.

Springfield capitalized on Chix penalties to consistently net double-digit powerjams in the first half. Springfield’s AmTastic scored 21 and 16-point powerjams midway through to give the rollers from Greene County a comfortable advantage.

The Saint Lunachix found themselves down 122-33 at intermission. Despite 45-second half points scored by jammer Black Market Baby, the Lunachix were unable to cut into an overwhelming deficit.

Jammer Shotgun Shell paced Springfield with 95 points while AmTastic contributed 50.

For the Saint Lunachix, BMB’s 45 points scored was followed by Morgan LaFaetal’s 22. The Forecloser added 16 for the Chix, who drop to 5-1.

ARRG TEAMS MAKE TREK TO BREWHAHA THIS WEEKEND!

Both ARRG travel squads will take the trip up to the Badger State this weekend to participate in the two-day Midwest Brewhaha, held at the Milwaukee County Sports Complex in Franklin, WI.

The two-day event, hosted by the Brewcity Bruisers, features 23 bouts featuring both WFTDA-sanctioned and developmental teams from across the Midwest.

The ARRG All-Stars play a pair of important North Central region bouts against teams above and below their current ranking.

ARRG (3-1) faces #9 Chicago Outfit on Saturday, May 21 at 7:30 pm. The Gateway City’s finest on quads battle #15 Burning River on Sunday, May 22 at 10 am.

Meanwhile, ARRG’s Saint Lunachix meets the Brewcity Bruiser Battlestars on Saturday, May 21 at 5 pm and the Mad Rollin’ Dolls Team Unicorn Sunday, May 22 at 12:30 pm.

Last year’s Brewhaha provided one of the few bright spots for ARRG in 2010. The team picked up victories over Tampa Bay and Burning River at the inaugural event.

This will be the first trip to Franklin for the Saint Lunachix, who look to get back onto the winning track after suffering their first loss of 2011 on Saturday.

Here’s a look at who the ARRG All-Stars face this weekend.

THE CHICAGO OUTFIT

The Chicago Outfit (3-1) is making some commotion within the region in a relatively short amount of time.

The Outfit is coming off of a 128-56 win over North Central’s unranked Tri-City Saturday to pick up their third victory of 2011.

After starting the calendar year with a 138-89 win in late-March over #13 Bleeding Heartland, the Outfit fell to the third-ranked Detroit Derby Girls 145-102 the following weekend.

The group reloaded and dismantled North Central #7 North Star 202-81 on April 30.

Jammer Sweet Mary Pain is the go-to jammer for the Outfit. She scored 87 against North Star. Also look for offense from spell-check unfriendly Queefer Sutherland and Lola Blow.

The Outfit made its inaugural splash into the North Central top ten earlier in the year. They have no intentions of leaving it anytime soon.

BURNING RIVER ROLLER GIRLS

Burning River (1-3) is looking to gain revenge over ARRG, who topped Cleveland’s best 161-57 at Midwest Brewhaha 2010.

Burning River have been handed losses by North Central rivals Ohio, Bleeding Heartland and Ft. Wayne in 2011.

However, the squad does come into Brewhaha 2011 with momentum on its side. Burning River blasted North Central rival NEO Roller Derby 249-45 in April.

CoCo Sparx and Finnish-Her leads the scoring offensively for BRRG.

Prior to the Sunday ARRG match-up, Burning River faces #19 Hammer City and should – on paper, at least – emerge from their “Day One” bout with a win.

This is a team that has never won a bout at Brewhaha. A 2-0 record in Wisconsin this weekend will not only even out their 2011 record, but in the process, shake things within the North Central region.

(Poobah’s note: I also predict an off-track battle of electronic decibels between ARRG superfan US Marshall’s megaphone and Burning River announcer Kent the Politician, who carries his own bullhorn.)

NEXT WEEK IN THE ARRG NEWSCENTER: We’ll see how the ARRG travel teams fared at Brewhaha! Recaps from all four ARRG bouts.

The Grand Poobah and Hells LaBelle are bout announcers for the Arch Rival Roller Girls. Check back in this section on Mondays for the latest in ARRG news and information.

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AT PIKES PEAK, ARRG ALL-STARS CLIMB TO TOP!

54-POINT WIN OVER WFTDA WEST #10 EVENS ’11 RECORD!

by The Grand Poobah

(COLORADO SPRINGS, CO) The Arch Rival Roller Girls All-Stars defeated the Pikes Peak Derby Dames 155-101 in WFTDA-sanctioned action Saturday night at the Colorado Springs City Auditorium.

ARRG (1-1) raced out to an early double-digit lead over the WFTDA West Region’s tenth ranked team. By maintaining the advantage, St. Louis’ best on quads picked its first victory of the season.

During the weekend trip to the Centennial State, ARRG split two non-sanctioned bouts against developmental squads for two of the West’s top derby franchises.

On Saturday morning, ARRG fell to Rocky Mountain Contenders 115-106. ARRG rebounded for a 88-68 win over the Denver Bruising Altitude on Sunday. The split against the developmental squads will not count towards ARRG’s WFTDA record in 2011.

The ARRG All-Stars return to WFTDA-sanctioned action Saturday, April 23 at Demolition City (Evansville, IN).

ST. LUNACHIX MAKE 2011 HOME DEBUT SATURDAY!

The St. Lunachix – ARRG’s developmental franchise – will serve up a slice of home cookin’ this weekend to host one of the newer additions to the WFTDA.

The Chix face the Rockford Rage this Saturday at the Midwest Sport Hockey Complex at Edgar M. Queeny County Park (570 Weidman Rd., Ballwin, MO).

The bout takes place prior to the intraleague season opener for the STLGatekeepers - St. Louis’ mens flat-track derby franchise. Following the Chix/Rage bout, the South Grand Slammers and the Riverfront Crimes battle in the inaugural launch of the three-team league.

The doubleheader night of derby begins at 7 pm. Tickets are $10 and can be purchased at the door or online RIGHT HERE!

The St. Lunachix are riding high after a pair of January exhibition wins. After a 286-67 victory over the Springfield (MO) All Stars on January 9, the St. Lunachix dropped a 206-40 win on the CoMo Derby Dames on January 22.

As of presstime, here is the line-up for Saturday’s St. Lunachix roster (listed alphabetically): Deathica Steele, Ginny Beastley, Jezebelle, Joanie Rollmoan, May Require Stitches, Mighty Mighty Boston, Munchausen By Foxy, Polkadot yr Eyeout, Science Friction, Starry Starry Fight and The Forecloser.

Rockford became an official member of the WFTDA’s North Central region last June.

Last weekend, the Rage fell to the Tri-City Rollers of Kitchener, Ontario 191-28. The Rage have also suffered losses to the CoMo Derby Dames (145-102) and Naptown (194-87) in 2011.

However, this franchise would love to exact a little revenge on the locals. The St. Lunachix bested the Rage 131-126 in Rockford last May.

Taryn Skulz, one of the charter members of the Rockford franchise, is one of the visiting jammers to watch for.

 Come out to Queeny Park and support the ladies (and men) this Saturday. It’ll be $10 well spent!

The Grand Poobah and Hells LaBelle are bout announcers for the Arch Rival Roller Girls. Chack back in this section on Mondays for the latest in ARRG news and information.

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TOP TWO SEEDS WIN ARRG PLAYOFF OPENERS

SECOND ROUND MATCH-UPS SET FOR SATURDAY, MARCH 12

by the Grand Poobah

(ST. LOUIS, MO) Two ARRG intraleague squads successfully took initial strides toward the championship trophy Saturday night at the first round of the 2011 playoffs.

Top-seeded Rebel Skate Alliance defeated the M-80s 146-99 while the second-seeded Smashinistas bested the Stunt Devils 87-58 in front of 1,000+ at the All-American Sports Mall.

With the victories, RSA and the Smashinistas now face each other in the playoff’s second round, to be held March 12 at the All-American.

Meanwhile, the Stunts and the M-80s face each other in the other round two match-up.

And although wins for RSA and the Smashies in round one does not automatically result in a trip to the league’s championships in April due to ARRG’s unique playoff structure (which will be addressed next Monday in the ARRG Newscenter), the victories did provide a little breathing room heading into March’s bout.

REBEL SKATE ALLIANCE  146   M-80s 99

Photo credit: Bob Dunnell

Photo credit: Bob Dunnell

The battle between the first and fourth seeds saw the Rolling Rebs capitalize on powerjam situations early and often in the first half.

Party Foul would net a 10-pointer with a red jammer in the sin bin nine minutes in to give RSA a 23-6 lead.

To their credit, the M-80s would pull to within 27-25 thanks to Black Market Baby’s 19-pointer at the 16:47 mark.

RSA would go on a 15-0 run in the bout’s next four jams. Punctuated by a four-pointer by Smarty McFly, the Alliance stretched the lead to 42-25 with 13:00 left in the first half.

RSA pulled out to a 67-32 thanks to Starry Starry Fight’s 20-pointer six minutes later.

At intermission, the top seed maintained a 74-47 lead.

The M-80s, implementing a different strategy, went on an 8-0 run to begin the second half. Science Friction and Madame Moonstruck scored four apiece to narrow the gap to 74-55 five minutes in.

RSA fended off the pesky firecrackers as the half progressed and then capitalized on another powerjam with 20:00 remaining. Fight’s 15-pointer extended the lead to 96-59.

McFly’s 25-pointer scored seven minutes later would essentially clinch the first round playoff victory.

RSA would outscore the M-80s 72-52 in the second half to give the franchise its fourth consecutive win, albeit this one was an exhausting one.

“I want to give a shout out to the M-80s because they definitely gave us a run for our money,”said McFly, who scored 64 points to pace RSA. “That was a tough game. I’m really tired. I don’t have anything left now.”

RSA’s Starry Starry Fight scored 58 while Party Foul contributed 24.

For the second bout in a row, the M-80s posted high numbers against the top seed. EnYa Nightmare scored 31 to lead the M-80s, while May Require Stitches and Black Market Baby contributed 30 and 28, respectively.

The amount of points scored against them has the RSA co-captain believing that her team needs to tighten up the laces defensively for March’s second round battle against the Smashinistas.

“I think more than anything we realized we have a lot more work that we need to do,” said McFly. “There’s a lot more work that I need to do. The Smashies are really dangerous. If we don’t win our next game and don’t have enough of a point spread, we’re not going to the championship.”

Yet, one will have to admit that the expansion squad is smart enough to put that schematic into place, which could inevitably lead to an April title tilt.

“We definitely want 2011 to be the year of the nerds,” McFly said. “The first year of the nerd should always be the year of the nerd.”

box-score-feb-bout-1

UNOFFICIAL SCORING

Rebel Skate Alliance: Smarty McFly 64, Starry Starry Fight 58, Party Foul 24

M-80s:  EnYa Nightmare 31, May Require Stitches 30, Black Market Baby 28, Madame Moonstruck 6, Science Friction 4

SMASHINISTAS 87   STUNT DEVILS 58

Photo credit: Bob Dunnell

Photo credit: Bob Dunnell

When the seedings were set in January, the #2 vs. #3 pairing offered the potential of a nailbiter. In picking a winner, one essentially had to flip a coin.

However, a key piece of the offensive puzzle was missing for the defending champions Saturday. Stunt scoring powerhouse Artemischief would not be a part of Saturday’s roster due to a pre-arranged absence. The subtraction of a jammer who averages 30+ per bout left a gaping hole in the lilac lineup.

Even with Artemischief’s omission, the bout still resembled a heavyweight prizefight on quads.

The Stunts came out swinging in the bout’s first two jams with a pair of 5-pointers by jammers South City Shiner and Mighty Mighty Boston to give the defending champs a 10-0 lead.

The Educator and Downtown Dallis would retaliate with four apiece to cut the gap to 10-8 at the 26:00 mark.

Leads would change perpetually during the bout’s next ten minutes. The Smashinistas sported a 19-17 lead midway through the half.

The Stunts would capitalize – and regain the lead – with a powerjam. The resulting 10-pointer for Shiner gave the Stunts Devils a 27-19 lead.

Morgan LaFateal’s four-pointer followed to give the defending champs a 31-19 lead with 11:29 remaining.

The Smashinistas would chip away at the lead and then some, going on 18-1 run with the bout’s next four jams, resulting in a 37-32 lead for the camo-clad troopers with 5:00 left.

The Stunts would answer with a run of their own, tying the score at 40-40 with one jam remaining in the half. LaFaetal would score four the round out the first half scoring and give the Stunts a 44-40 lead at intermission.

In a derby donnybrook that already contained numerous lead changes, the second seed figured they needed a change of strategy for the second half.

“Our bench coaches and Eli (Wallop) put a plan together that would tighten up our walls, help our jammers through the pack and cut down our penalties,” said Smashie co-captain Dallis of the four-point halftime deficit. “It would help us play smart.”

And it didn’t take that long for that plan to hatch in the second half.

Following a four-pointer notched by the Stunts’ Boston, the Smashies would go on a 14-0 run. The Educator would collect nine and Dallis would contribute five on the bout next two jams, resulting in a 54-48 Smashie lead at the 25:00 mark.

LaFeatal would collect two non-lead points for the Stunts two minutes later to cut the gap down to four.

Then the Smashies, referring back to their halftime “camo-print,” would frustrate the Stunt Devils with another uncontested scoring run. A 13-0 Smashie streak extended the lead to 67-50 with 10:00 remaining.

Dallis’ nine-point strike with four minutes left sealed the first round victory for the playoff’s second seed.

More importantly, the Smashies were able to shut down their high octane opponents defensively in the process. The Stunts were held to an uncharacteristic 14 points in the second half.

“Everybody did what they are best at,” said Dallis, who scored 53 points in the win. “We trusted each other. Everybody made each other better. It’s making us confident”

The Educator added 29 for the Smashinistas, who picked up their third straight victory.

South City Shiner scored 26 points to lead the Stunt Devils, who face the M-80s in the second round next month.

And for the Smashie co-captain, she and her troops anticipate the tangle with RSA on March 12, where the winner automatically advances to the league’s championship bout in April.

“They’re nerds and so are we,” said Dallis. “We can’t wait!”

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UNOFFICIAL SCORING

Smashinistas: Downtown Dallis 53, The Educator 29, Shimmy Hoffa 4, Punches PileUp 1

Stunt Devils: South City Shiner 26, Mighty Mighty Boston 24, Morgan LeFaetal 8

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ARRG TO APPEAR AT SPORTS TRIVIA CHAMPIONSHIP

(ST. LOUIS, MO) The lovely ladies of the Arch Rival Roller Girls will be a part of the 8th Annual Sports Trivia Championship to be held this Friday night at Chaefitz Arena in St. Louis.

The event – which raises proceeds for St. Patrick Center – will have over 1,100 participants compete for the ultimate sports fan package in the world’s largest sports trivia contest.

ARRG will be out and about during the event, handing out complimentary t-shirts and Dad’s cookies to the participants.

Last year’s event raised over $860,000 in revenue and contributed good and services to benefit St. Patrick Center’s homeless and poor clients and their families.

To find out more about the Sports Trivia Championship, CLICK RIGHT HERE.

ARRG HELPS HEAT UP ST. LOUIS

enya-heat-up-st-louis-new(ST. LOUIS, MO) The Arch Rival Roller Girls participated in the annual “Rise and Shine” fundraiser at two St. Louis Hardee’s locations last Friday.

Proceeds benefitted Heat Up St. Louis, which assists the elderly, the disabled and low-income families with children in paying their heating bills. Since 2001, Heat Up St. Louis has assisted over 100,000 people in 17 counties in Missouri and Illinois.

ARRG will continue its community outreach efforts as 2011 progresses. We’ll keep you updated in the newscenter on future appearances.

ARRG ASSISTS LIVE TV MARRIAGE PROPOSAL

marriage-proposal(MARYLAND HEIGHTS, MO) ARRG has been involved in some interesting requests in the past…..but this one literally takes the cake.

And it will inevitably lead to a wedding cake.

On Friday’s “FOX 2 News at 5pm,” an ARRG season ticket holder made a marriage proposal to his girlfriend during the live newscast. The unsuspecting – a producer at KTVI-TV – has been a hardcore ARRG fan since 2009.

The proposal – which took place at the station’s facilities in Maryland Heights – included appearances by ARRG’s Mayor Francis Slayer, Dannika Doom and Ginny Beastley, who presented the newly engaged couple with Valentine’s Day gifts.

To see video of the marriage proposal, CLICK RIGHT HERE.

Congratulations to two of ARRG’s most passionate fans. Thanks for letting ARRG become a part of your special moment!

NEXT WEEK IN THE ARRG NEWSCENTER: LAISSEZ LES BON TEMPS ROULEZ! The ARRG Jeerleaders get ready for the St. Louis Mardi Gras. Plus, what was with all the video cameras at Saturday’s doubleheader?

Check back in this section on Mondays for the latest in ARRG news and information.

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ARRG ALL-STARS HEARTBROKEN IN NAPTOWN!

SECOND HALF SETBACKS LEAD TO SEASON OPENING LOSS

by the Grand Poobah

(INDIANAPOLIS, IN)  In a city that’s synonymous with fast objects on four wheels that make continuous left turns, the Arch Rival Roller Girls battled an I-70 rival who claimed to be the Circle City’s fastest on eight.

In the process, ARRG was handed a season opening loss that at one point was ripe for the taking.

Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell

Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell

The Naptown Tornado Sirens defeated the ARRG All-Stars 152-105 in WFTDA-sanctioned action Saturday night in front of 3,500 at the Indiana Convention Center.

For the Gateway City’s finest on quads, the stakes were high. A win over the rapidly-improving Indiana franchise that sat five spots ahead of them in the WFTDA North Central regional rankings would send the message that the ARRG squad of 2011 was one to be reckoned with.

The methodology was in place perfectly heading into the bout – however, the execution was spotty at times.

The “pink and black attack” posted a 10-4 lead following the bout’s opening jam. An early penalty to Naptown jammer Amooze Booche enabled ARRG’s South City Shiner to capitalize with the double digit strike.

Naptown would counter two minutes later with a 9-4 tally – yet ARRG maintained a 14-13 lead at the 25:00 mark.

And that would be the last time that ARRG would have the lead for a long time.

The Tornado Sirens would go on a 35-0 run in the bout’s next five jams. Contributing powerjams by Willah Hoeflinch and Booche – each 14-pointers – would extend the Naptown lead to 48-14 with 19:30 left in the first half.

As the half progressed, ARRG would methodically chip away at the deficit. Black Market Baby would score four at the 14:20 mark. Shiner would post eight on the next jam to close the gap to 48-26.

Naptown’s Blue Messiah and Maiden America each tallied three to stretch the lead to 54-26 with 10:00 remaining.

Then a complete “roll-reversal” occurred – and when the dust had settled, ARRG found itself in a position that perhaps they, or anyone else, could have imagined at the moment.

ARRG would go on a 41-6 streak in the first half’s final ten minutes. In the process, Downtown Dallis posted a 14-pointer to cut the gap to 57-44 with 5:33 remaining.

Two jams later, Naptown would be sent to the pits – figuratively and literally. A trio of Tornado Sirens – including jammer America – was sent to the sin bin, which resulted in a powerjam for ARRG’s South City Shiner. The co-captain would rack up 23 points, silence the Hoosier-heavy horde and give ARRG its first lead in over 20 minutes.

A 67-60 ARRG advantage at the intermission break was a welcomed surprise for the ARRG cheering contingent – who was outnumbered by the Indy fans by a ratio of 70-to-1.

ARRG tallied points in the second half’s first two jams. Five and four points collected by Shiner and The Educator respectively extended the lead to 76-63.

And then it seemed that history repeated itself – a flat-track version of Groundhog’s Day – which in turn immobilized ARRG.

Naptown went on an identical 35-0 run in the bout’s next eight minutes. Blue Messiah posted a 13-point power jam at the 23:00 mark to tie the score at 76-76.

Then following a Siren four-point tally by Booche and a trey by America, Hoeflinch barreled out to a 15-point jam to give Naptown a 98-76 lead with 17:35 remaining.

ARRG would counter with a mini-rally of its own, posting 18 points in under four minutes. A contributing pair of eight pointers by Enya Nightmare and Educator would whittle the gap down to 108-94 with 12:00 remaining.

Naptown would capitalize on ARRG penalties down the stretch and finish the bout with a 44-11 edge to preserve victory.

The Tornado Sirens outscored ARRG 92-38 altogether in the second half to remain undefeated in 2011 and extend their WFTDA-sanctioned record to 4-0.

Four different Naptown jammers posted 30+ points in the bout. Maiden America topped the Indy scoring with 50, while Hoeflinch and Booche each posted 36.

ARRG’s South City Shiner paced the locals with 55 points, followed by the Educator’s 20.

For 2011′s version of ARRG’s best, hearts and spirits were broken with the loss on Saturday. Yet one has to believe that a bout filled with thorns should – with a few adjustments – inevitably lead to roses as the season progresses.

The ARRG All-Stars (0-1) are next in action on Saturday, April 23 as they travel to Evansville, IN to face the Demolition City Roller Derby Dynamite Dolls.

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LATER THIS WEEK IN THE ARRG NEWSCENTER: The 2011 ARRG Playoffs are this Saturday night. Four teams have equal opportunities to raise the championship hardware in April. Their quests begin at this weekend at the All-American Sports Mall in St. Louis. We’ll preview the first round pairings in a special column on Wednesday.

The Grand Poobah and Hells LaBelle are bout announcers for the Arch Rival Roller Girls. Check back in this section for the latest in ARRG news and information.

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