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July 25th, 2010 | Posted in Charity, Recap

BREAKING NEWS: ARRG GETS WFTDA TOURNEY BID!

SEEDED #8 IN N. CENTRAL REGIONAL, FACES #9 NAPTOWN

by the Grand Poobah

(ST. LOUIS, MO) For the second consecutive year, St. Louis’ best on quads will prepare for a national post-season run.

The ARRG All-Stars have earned a bid to compete in the North Central Regional, held September 10-12 in Green Bay, WI.

The post-season, invitation-only regional is one of four held nationally by the Womens Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA). The top three finishers at each regional advances to the WFTDA 2010 Championships, held November 5-7 in Chicago, IL.

The ARRG All-Stars, seeded eighth, will face the ninth-seeded Naptown All-Stars of Indianapolis in the North Central Regional opening round on Friday, September 10 at 10 AM.

The winner of that bout will face the top-seeded Windy City Rollers of Chicago later that day.

The North Central Regional - also known as “Thunda on the Tundra” - is hosted by the Brewcity Bruisers of Milwaukee, WI.

Post-season tournament berths were awarded to leagues based upon second quarter regional rankings by the WFTDA.

The WFTDA North Central Regional seedings are as follows:

1) Windy City Rollers (Chicago)

2) Detroit Derby Dolls

3) Mad Rollin’ Dolls (Madison)

4) Cincinnati Rollergirls

5) Brewcity Bruisers (Milwaukee)

6) North Star Roller Girls (Minnetonka, MN)

7) Minnesota Rollergirls (Minneapolis/St. Paul)

8) Arch Rival Roller Girls

9) Naptown Rollergirls (Indianapolis)

10) Omaha Rollergirls

Congratulations to ARRG for another trip into the post-season!

ARRG “GIVES BACK” TO ST. LOUIS!

COMMUNITY OUTREACH EFFORTS SHINE IN 2010

by The Grand Poobah

“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” - Winston Churchill

A positive extension of any athletic franchise, regardless of size, is continuous outreach within the community that supports it.

Since the league’s inception in 2005, the Arch Rival Roller Girls have been active in “giving back” to the area that has supported them.

Whether it’s shaking cans, running or walking miles, giving blood or holding raffles, ARRG’s community outreach efforts have helped numerous area non-for-profits in 2010.

In the process, awareness has been raised in these organizations - and THAT’S always a good thing.

In short, ARRG doesn’t participate in community outreach because it feels like it has to do it. ARRG participates because IT WANTS TO DO IT!

A small synopsis of ARRG’s activities so far in 2010:

YOUTH IN NEED - $3,425.75 RAISED!

ARRG and its derby-lovin’ audience helped the St. Charles-based non-for-profit with raffle basket drawings at nine home bouts this season. ARRG athletes also visited a St. Louis branch of the organization early in the calendar year. Through a variety of crisis prevention and intervention programs, Youth In Need is dedicated to building positive futures for the community’s most vulnerable children, teens and families. For more information, visit www.youthinneed.org.

SUSAN G. KOMEN RACE FOR THE CURE - $1,595 RAISED!

In June, the skaters of ARRG participated in this annual event, which locally drew a record 71,802 participants downtown. The Komen St. Louis Affiliate works to better the lives of those facing breast cancer and addresses needs by funding breast health programs in their 17-county service area. Up to 75 percent of net proceeds generated by the Affiliate stays in the St. Louis area with the remaining income going to the national grants program. For more information, visit www.komenstlouis.org.

MAKE-A-WISH “WALK FOR WISHES” - $1,081 RAISED!

In February, ARRG participated in the fifth annual event, held at West County Shopping Center in Des Peres. The event raised over $76,000 for the Make-A-Wish Foundation of Missouri, which grants wishes to children with life-threatening medical conditions to enrich the human experience with hope, strength and joy. For more information, visit www.mo.wish.org.

HEAT UP ST. LOUIS - HARDEE’S RISE AND SHINE

In January, members of ARRG joined St. Louis Mayor Francis Slay, Fredbird from the St. Louis Cardinals and other local volunteers by serving as guest greeters at area Hardee’s. Heat Up St. Louis, a non-profit established in December 2000, focuses on helping the elderly and disabled, as well as low-income families, with their delinquent heating bills in the bi-state region. For more information, visit www.heatupstlouis.org.

ZOMBIE SQUAD RED CROSS BLOOD DRIVE

Members of ARRG participated in a “Zombie”-style blood drive and BBQ with the St. Louis chapter of the Zombie Squad, who serve as volunteer security at local ARRG bouts. Since its founding in 1881, the American Red Cross has been the nation’s premier emergency response organization. The St. Louis chapter of the American Red Cross was officially chartered in 1917. For more information, visit www.redcrossstl.org.

So far…so good…and it feels so right.

ARRG will continue its fundraising efforts next month at the two-day ARRGageddon Invitational, held Saturday & Sunday, August 14 & 15 at the All-American Sports Mall. Once again, ARRG will be selling raffle tickets for prize baskets, which contain ARRG merchandise, gift certificates to area businesses and other assorted goodies.

Proceeds from the raffle basket drawings with benefit the local chapter of Habitat for Humanity, which is dedicated to eliminating substandard housing in St. Louis. Since 1986, Habitat for Humanity has built over 250 homes in the St. Louis area.

Tickets for the raffle baskets are $1 apiece or 6 for $5 and are available at the front entrance of the All-American Sports Mall. ARRG members will also be selling tickets in the crowd on both days.

And the community efforts of ARRG in 2010 extend beyond raising donations and awareness.

In addition to the aforementioned fundraisers, ARRG has participated this year at Pridefest St. Louis, the St. Louis St. Patrick’s Day Parade, the St. Louis Car and Auto Show, the Sandrina’s Flag Day Luau and Macklin Days. Expect ARRG to be at more community events in the near future. We’ll keep you updated here at the ARRG Newscenter.

ARRG is all about giving back to the community, because ARRG is a part of the community. Thanks to ARRG Nation for helping us in our efforts!

You know you want to do it! Click here to find out more about this two-day four team event, hosted by ARRG, in St. Louis in three weeks!

You know you want to do it! Click on the graphic to find out more about this two-day, four team event, hosted by ARRG, to be held in St. Louis in three weeks!

The Grand Poohbear and Hella LaBella are bout announcers for the Arch Rival Roller Girls. Check back in this section on Mondays for the latest in ARRG news and information.

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July 19th, 2010 | Posted in Recap

REFLECTIONS OF ARRG INTRALEAGUE 2010

GOOD GOLLY! HERE’S A UNICORN NAMED MOLLY!

by The Grand Poobah, with assistance from Hells LaBelle. Photos by Bob Dunnell.

Take one quick minute and exhale. Just one quick minute.

Perhaps that’s all one gets, for there’s still plenty of work to do as 2010 progresses.

Don’t think for one minute that just because the intraleague season has concluded that things will slow down here in ARRG Nation. August will see the inaugural two-day ARRGageddon Invitational, while September begins the WFTDA post-season run for the ARRG All-Stars. Sprinkle in more bouts for the St. Lunachix - ARRG’s developmental team - and derby fans will have a busy remainder of the summer and the rest of the calendar year.

This also means that the work doesn’t end here in the ARRG Newscenter. We’ll continue to bring you new content every Monday here at the website. We appreciate all the feedback we have received to our bout previews, recaps and feature columns.

But we do get the opportunity to play a bit this week.

Every year at the conclusion of the season, ARRG has an official awards ceremony that recognizes the achievements of skaters and non-skaters within the league. The awards handed out that night not only highlight athletic performances but also the efforts that come with the operation and execution of the league.

And those official awards will be deservedly handed out to the skaters after total input from the league.

But before these are handed out, your ever-lovin’ bout announcers decided to perpetrate a few acknowledgements on their own.

And after a few moments of reflection, and after a few frosty beverages, the plan was put into place to give out some “unofficial” awards that reflect the ARRG intraleague action from 2KX.

So, for the first time ever, the ARRG Newscenter presents….THE MOLLYS!

MOLLY!

First for the unknowing, a little background information. Molly - a pink paper-mache piñata in the form of a unicorn - is the official mascot of the derby-lovin’ fanatics who participate in tailgating prior to ARRG bouts. Since February 2008, she has been a permanent fixture of every ARRG event, including travel bouts.

She wears Mardi Gras beads, poses with pictures with the fans, often sports a bowtie and contains no candy.

She’s also weathered, consistently loses pieces of her body, tends to wander in the area of alcoholic beverages and falls down an awful lot.

In short, she’s perfect.

These “unofficial” awards were created and voted upon by a blue-ribbon panel of ten unbiased “judges” - they represent a group that is unaffiliated with ARRG, its Board of Directors, its sponsors, the WFTDA, the All-American Sports Mall, Miss Hackney’s Pre-K Class at Lil’ Tot Learning Academy in McLeansboro, IL and Mr. Joe Shablotnik, 1058 Habbersham, Fredricktown, MO. (For complete panel representation, please see the disclaimer post-column).

And once again, these are not affiliated with the future awards to be officially presented by ARRG in 2010.

And so, without further ado, the inaugural presentation of “THE MOLLYS.”

OH S@!# PHOTOGRAPHIC MOMENT

February’s bout between the M80’s and the Smashinistas provided plenty of eye-popping moments. But the best illustration of this occurred as Siege went-a-tumbling. One would assume - judging from Bob Dunnell’s photo - that the returning M-80 would be unable to continue. Far from it - for the firecracker, it was just another night on the track. Equally loved by ninjas, punkrockdykes and straight girls, Siege’s return was one of the feelgood moments for derby hardcores in 2010. (And we beer drinkin’, meat eatin’, cigar smokin’ sluggos dig her too!)

BEST SKATER NAME

This category turned out to be a tough one for the panel to agree upon. LaBelle lobbied hard for Pelvis Costello while the Poobah filibustered for Munchausen by Foxy. But in the end, the committee agreed that personal preferences should be placed on the backburner. The panel had to ask itself “If I was a newcomer to an ARRG bout, which name am I going to remember at the end of the evening?” In short, which skater will contain the nomenclature that will stick indefinitely into the memory bank? After serious pondering, the Molly deservedly went to Stunt Devil Mayor Francis Slayer. This is arguably the name that first timers often take notice of immediately. To add, when KTRS’ Charles Jaco immediately takes notice of your moniker in a radio interview, you know you’re onto something. And most importantly, how often do we see a derby name personally endorsed by its influential namesake? In summation, a landslide victory for “her honor.”

BEST HELMET

Protective gear is imperative for the safety of any ARRG athlete, especially when protecting the noodle. Beyond its regulation design, the helmet provides a wide open canvas for a skater’s creativity. It also provides a message board for the opposition. There were numerous solid entries in this category, ranging from Smarty McFly’s “Back to the Future” motif to Downtown Dallis’ Union Jack. After much deliberation, the panel awards the Molly to the Smashinistas’ Eli Wallop, whose bestickered, bedazzled lid not only characterized the skater, but also encapsulated the veteran’s career journey. Look closely, there’s even a “stache” affixed to it.

MRS. BLACKWELL’S BEST UNIFORM

In all cases, team members wear matching colors. Some individuals within that team -a good example being the Smashinistas - wear identical jerseys. But there are some times when a skater decides to take a bold step in a fashion sense and create a different approach. Such is the case with Stunt Devil South City Shiner, who augmented her appearance late in the season with a bedazzling uniform - an impressive purple leotard with silver accents. Sheer elegance with a hidden message: “I have style, yet I will knock you down if you get in my way.” An outfit designed for 24 hour service? Ya betcha!

BEST USE OF ACCESSORIES

Much like the derby name is an extension of the personality of an ARRG athlete, the non-skating accessories that accompany her further identify that personality. These are most apparent during the skater introductions pre-bout. Deathica Steele’s hatchet immediately comes to mind. But hands down, the panel’s favorite for 2010 wins for originality and execution. The Smashinistas’ Shillelagh Spillbllood wins the Molly by taking Irish pride to a whole new level. Complete with an Irish Flag and an actual shillelagh, Spillblood brings instant attention when taking the track. The panel was gave bonus points for the pint of Guinness that Spillblood featured within her profile picture in the ARRG souvenir program this year.

BEST NUMERICAL INDENTIFICATION

The jersey number that a skater wears sometimes makes a correlation to her derby name. Great examples of this include Grave Danger’s 6FU, Suri O’Killer’s 10 & Counting and The Forecloser’s Ch13. The winner of the Molly in this category exceeded the basics. When asked personally about her derby name, the Stunt Devils’ Smarty McFly makes no hesitation about her love of the “Back to the Future” franchise. The fact that she proudly displays the jersey number “1.21 Gigawatts” - the amount of voltage needed to operate the flux capacitor of the DeLorean DMC-12 - illuminates that passion. Dr. Emmet Brown would be happy - and so are we.

“MIEUX PARLER FRANCAIS”

Translated, this means “best French speak.” A controversial category, for this focuses on derbyspeak….uncensored derbyspeak. The kind of derbyspeak that makes kids turn to their parents and say, “What does that mean?” The Molly goes to the M80s’ Ana Warpath, whose quick verbal strikes made many take notice. But let’s be honest. Warpath’s silver tongue doesn’t mean that she can’t control herself - it’s just that she’s that passionate during bout proper - and that’s always a good thing. Her retirement at the end of the 2010 season guarantees one thing, the cheering section at the All-American is about to get even more colorful.

WATCH OUT AWARD

On the surface, this award could be mistaken for “Rookie of the Year.” However, the panel felt that this recognition should go out to a skater who had not been officially drafted by an ARRG team in 2010. A majority of these athletes were featured in the Arch Rival Rookie/St. Chux Derby Chix bout in June. But this decision was not just based upon that bout alone. Voting members also considered the effort at practices, which sometimes gives a better inclination of potential ability. After careful deliberation, the panel hands out the Molly to Stitches. Stitches was not an official member of an ARRG franchise in 2010 - safe money says that won’t be the case next season.

BEST LIP SERVICE

This Molly recognizes the moment that most skaters arguably dread the most…the post-bout interview at the All-American. Keep in mind that the ARRG athletes have just concluded a 60-minute scrap. Now they have to wax philosophical about it! The bout announcers appreciate all who cooperate in this monthly ritual, even at times when a skater would just rather relax and unwind. After careful consideration, the Molly in this category goes to the Smashinistas’ Punches Pileup, who as a whole blossomed this year as a skater. On the microphone, she was smooth as silk. And if the popular skater ever decides to one day retire from the track (and we know that won’t be anytime soon!), one knows that a microphone won’t be too far in the distance.

MOMENT OF HEART AWARD

In 2010, one moment that clearly defined the heart and passion that these skaters possess was crystallized with the unfortunate injury to M-80 blocker Suri O’ Killer, whose tumble in bout four resulted in a hush-hush moment at the All-American. Suri, after careful examination by the EMTs, was carted out on a stretcher from the track. In the process, ARRG Nation responded with a standing “O,” not just out of respect, but also out of pure love for the fallen skater. Suri responded to the adulation with blown kisses, an acknowledging wave and a reassuring smile that conveyed the message that “I’ll be back before you know it.”

And to her credit, the recovery has come along nicely, as the accompanying cane was quickly discarded and the skater was back to her feet in no time. Although it’s premature to speculate how soon she’ll be back to competitive action, it’s good to know that the worst was avoided. But most of you know this already, for she’s still a fixture at every home bout, even donning an apron to serve as “special guest waitress” for VIPs at the league championship.

MOST IMPOSING ENTOURAGE

There’s a skater’s dad sitting in the front row with a camera. The same skater’s mom has a penchant for making great confections. Her true love professes his derby passion for her on his t-shirt at every bout. Various family members fill out the large contingent of Stunt Devil fans when she plays. Her co-workers are amazed at her abilities. Her fans include a pair of luchadores. The winner of the Molly in this category and her following personify the true spirit of derby fandom. The group that follows Miss Lippy is large in numbers and spirit. Without Lippy, attendance drops dramatically. And yes, you read that right…luchadores.

BEST NON-SKATING MOMENT OF 2010

In bout six between the Smashinistas and the Stunt Devils, what once was a frustrating moment turned into arguably the best definition of what ARRG is all about. An electrical malfunction had simultaneously shut down the scoreboard clock and the PA system, which resulted in suspended play. With no quick fix in sight, ARRG decided to do what any fun lovin’ group would do in a similar situation - it improvised.

Complete with referee stunts, a “RomoWorm” and other assorted hijinx, ARRG filled a 10-minute suspension to the delight of the All-American crowd….or at it least it seemed that the crowd was delighted. No one left, no one booed, no one got testy. And it proved once again why ARRG audiences are some of the best in St. Louis athletics.

Congratulations to our deserving winners of the inaugural Mollys…and to all of ARRG for making it happen!

Disclaimer: The voting committee for the “Mollys” consists of a ten-member panel of select employees from the ARRG Newscenter. They include: The Grand Poobah, ARRG Correspondent - Hells LaBelle, ARRG Correspondent - Tex Remmey, Managing Editor - Knobby Rocker, Discontinuity Editor - Franklin Gothic, Font Acquisition and Sans Serif Wrangling - Pandora Proofing, Spelcheker - Billy Natchez, Sanitation Supervisor - The Reverend Diamond Mike Esquire, Your Favorite and Mine - Fabian Sparkle, Hyperlinking - Arch Kennedy, WZTV Chief Meteorologist.

CLICK ON THE PICTURE TO FIND OUT THIS SPECIAL ARRG TWO-DAY INVITATIONAL TO BE HELD IN AUGUST!

CLICK ON THE PICTURE TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THIS SPECIAL ARRG TWO-DAY INVITATIONAL TO BE HELD IN AUGUST IN STL!

The Grand Poobah and Hells LaBelle are bout announcers for the 2010 season of the Arch Rival Roller Girls. Check back in this section on Mondays for the latest in ARRG news, information…and broken piñatas.

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July 11th, 2010 | Posted in Bouts, Charity, Recap

BREAKING NEWS: STUNTS REPEAT!

SECOND HALF EXPLOSION LEADS TO 2010 ARRG TITLE

by The Grand Poobah

Photo Credit: Eggysan

(ST. LOUIS, MO) More so than other sports, roller derby is often characterized by momentum shifts. In just a few short minutes, large leads are gained - and lost.

And in the process, emotions can greatly turn 180 degrees - for both the benefactor and the unsuspecting.

On Saturday night at the All-American Sports Mall, a momentum shift inevitably resulted in a trophy lift.

And with the hoist of the prize came a few watered eyes.

Capitalizing on a 69-0 second half run, the Stunts Devils defeated the Smashinistas 146-73 in the ARRG 2010 League Championship in front of 1,000 derby-lovin’ fans.

For the Stunts, the victory marked back-to-back championships for the purple-clad skaters and the franchises’ sixth straight win.

“I’ve been crying like a baby,” said Stunt co-captain Mayor Francis Slayer following the bout. “Every single person on our team played the game of their life tonight.”

“I’m probably going to cry the rest of the night.”

It was tears of joy shed by the veteran - yet it did crystallize the emotions the team had experienced throughout the 2010 season, which included injuries, the loss of teammates and the added pressure to repeat.

“The core players on the team overcame a lot of adversity in the past year,” added jammer Artemischief. “Everybody stuck together. Everybody played for one another.”

Indeed. Yet heading into the title bout, it seemed that the Smashies had figured out a game plan that could topple the defending champs. An eight-point nailbiter last month between the two squads foreshadowed a potential upset.

And at one point during Saturday’s bout, it looked like that was going to happen.

The Smashinistas - thanks to a swing of momentum - erased a 35-point deficit en route to a four-point second half lead.

But by utilizing their own second-half shift, the Stunts proved to ARRG Nation why they deserve to retain the hardware.

To review, the agresssor out of the gate - as expected - would have the early advantage.

The Stunts Devils jumped out to a quick 17-3 lead in the bout’s first five minutes, paced by Artemischief’s three lead jams that collectively netted 11 points.

Smashies’ jammer Punches Pileup countered with a 4-pointer with 21:35 left in the first half to cut the deficit to ten.

But the Stunts would silence the Smashies midway through the first half.

The defending champs would go on a 17-0 run during the bout’s next five jams. Punctuated by Morgan LeFaetal’s 5-pointer, the Stunts pulled out to a 34-7 lead with 14:20 remaining.

The pressure continued as the half progressed. A pair of 7-pointers by Artemischief and South City Shiner extended the lead 48-13.

And it seemed that the outcome of 2010 title bout would be decided by halftime.

But the Smashinistas - characterized by their scrappy attitude - proved the skeptics wrong.

Smashie jammer Downtown Dallis - capitalizing on a penalized Stunt jammer - went off to the races. The Texan transplant’s 19-point tally with 4:35 left cut the gap to 48-32.

This would begin a 26-0 run for the Smashies. The Educator followed with four and Pileup added three to cut the deficit to 48-39 with 2:20 left.

LaFaetal broke the Stunts’ offensive drought with 1:21 left with a four-point jam, which concluded first half scoring.

After leading by 35 points just ten minutes prior, the Stunt Devils only posted a 52-39 lead at the halftime break. The baker’s dozen cushion did not seem safe against the Smashies.

And as the second half began, it wasn’t.

Punches Pileup notched a bout-changing 19-pointer early in the second half. The Smashies now possessed their first lead of the bout - a 56-52 edge with 28:10 remaining.

But unfortunately for the ladies in camo, it would be the last piece of scoring for a while - a long while - as a purple pitchfork practically poked the pretty princesses into a precarious predicament.

The Stunts would get lead jammer status for the next nine jams - and in the process go on an incredible 69-0 scoring streak in the bout’s next fourteen minutes.

Punctuated by a 23-point jam by Artemischief, the Stunts would pull out to a 124-56 lead.

The Stunts would go on to outscore the Smashies 94-34 in the second half - complimented by a pair of 13-pointers by Shiner and LaFaetal - to clinch the championship.

Artemischief notched a career best of 68 points to pace the Stunts Devils. Shiner added 52 while LeFaetal contributed 26.

Punches Pileup scored 30 to lead the Smashinistas, while Dallis contributed 26 points.

And even with the victory, the defending champs knew that they had to adjust in the second half when it looked like the trophy could have been stolen away.

“We had a couple of bad jams but then we really played great,” said Mayor Francis Slayer. “We just had to take a deep breath and go play our game, which is what we did and why we won.”

And how satisfying was it for the Stunts - who answered all the challenges in 2010 - to earn a second consecutive championship?

“So much that it made Mayor cry,” said Artemischief.

UNOFFICIAL SCORING

Stunt Devils - Artemischief 68, South City Shiner 52, Morgan LeFaetal 26

Smashinistas - Punches Pileup 30, Downtown Dallis 26, The Educator 17

SATURDAY NOTES FROM THE POOBAH

One has to tip their cap to this year’s runner-up, the Smashinistas, who overcame numerous challenges to make it to the 2010 title bout. One can expect that their quest for the championship will provide enough incentive to come out firing next season. I eagerly await to see what this talented group of skaters bring to the table in the future.

Scratches for Saturday’s bout were Polkadot yr Eyeout and Megalodominator for the Smashinistas and Smarty McFly for the Stunt Devils.

Much appreciation goes out to the 1,000 derby fans who came out the Saturday’s league championship. Your continued patronage is much appreciated and we hope to see you again for the two-day ARRGageddon Invitational on Saturday & Sunday, August 14 & 15.

Congratulations to the STLGatekeepers, the area’s first mens roller derby franchise, for a solid intraleague exhibition during the evening’s undercard. In the bout, The Force defeated the Dark Side 100-96. The Gatekeepers, who travel to St. Paul, MN on Saturday, August 24 to battle the Twin City Terroors, are actively recruiting skaters, officials and volunteers. Find out more by going to their website HERE.

Special thanks to those who participated in our charity raffle that benefitted Youth In Need. Over $500 was raised Saturday night for the non-profit. Thanks to your support at nine home bouts season, ARRG collectively raised $3,425 for Youth In Need. Thanks also this season to the business and individuals who contributed to the prize baskets this season.

Click on the picture to find out more about this inaugural event!

Click on the picture to find out more about this inaugural ARRG event, held in St. Louis on August 14 & 15!

Next week in the ARRG Newscenter: Reflection on the 2010 ARRG intraleague season. Your bout announcers recall their favorite moments.

The Grand Poobah and Hells LaBelle are bout announcers for the 2010 season of the Arch Rival Roller Girls. Check back in this section on Mondays for the latest in ARRG news and information…and wacky holidays. For example, did you know that Sunday is National Ice Cream Day?

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June 21st, 2010 | Posted in Bouts, Charity, Recap

STUNT DEVILS NARROWLY EDGE SMASHINISTAS

SQUADS FACE EACHOTHER AGAIN AT JULY’S TITLE BOUT

by the Grand Poobah

(ST. LOUIS, MO) If Saturday’s action at the All-American was any indication - then the 2010 championship bout for ARRG will be ridden on an emotional roller coaster.

A 20-point halftime lead helped pace the Stunt Devils to an 85-77 victory over the Smashinistas in ARRG’s final regular season bout of the season.

The win gave the defending league champion a perfect 4-0 record in intraleague action - a record that at one time seemed impossible for some members of the legacy franchise of ARRG.

“Having in the past the worst record in the league to having an undefeated record this season is so freakin’ amazing,” said veteran Stunt Devil blocker Grave Danger following the bout.

But don’t be fooled by the final score - the camo princesses almost stole the “W” away from the ladies in purple with the final jam of the bout.

And even in defeat, their second to the Stunts this season, the Smashies know that they have an opportunity to seek revenge as the two teams meet again in the quest for the league trophy on Saturday, July 10 at the All-American.

“We get a re-do,” said Smashinista jammer The Educator following the bout. “We get to win the next one.”

And that mantra was quickly recognized by the Stunts, who found out that the squad they played on Saturday was jelling at the right time.

“Clearly the Smashies are going to challenge us at the championnship,” said Stunt jammer Morgan LeFaetal. “It’s going to be a really intense game.”

And intense completely describes the numerous, dramatic swings the bout went through Saturday night.

To the surprise of many, points would come few and far between in the bout’s first twenty minutes. Thanks to stingy defense on both sides, neither team gained a true advantage.

In a game of “derby chess,” both teams match each other move-for-move in the first five jams. Eight minutes into the bout, the Stunt Devils possessed a 7-6 edge.

Then came the bout’s first true eye-opening moment.

Smashie scoring leader The Educator raced to the front of the pack and collected an 8-point tally, which gave the ladies in camo a 14-9 lead at the 21:20 mark.

If anything, the Smashies’ message to the high-scoring Stunt Devil squad was now crystal clear - “now you’re playing OUR game.”

The Stunts countered with a two-point jam by Artemischief and a four-pointer by South City Shiner, which now saw the defending champs on top 15-14.

And to their credit, the Smashinistas did not break under pressure. In fact, they became motivated by the challenge.

While the holding the Stunts scoreless for the next five minutes, the Smashies regained the lead thanks to Educator’s three-pointer with 12:09 left in the first half.

Down 17-15 a third of the bout in, the Stunts appeared frustrated. The squad’s two top scorers were being held to well below their scoring averages and they were being doubled up on obtaining lead jammer status.

In short, it wasn’t a fun ride early on for the defending champions - and the frustration needed to be controlled.

”With women’s sports, it’s about having a certain amount of aggression, but also you have to contain that aggression,” said the Stunts’ LeFaetal of the predicament.

And it seems apropos that LeFaetal herself - by containing that aggression - would be one of the Stunts to shift the momentum of the game in the first half’s final ten minutes.

The youngster’s 3-pointer with 10:00 remaining gave the Stunt Devils an 18-17 edge. Artemischief followed with two to extend the lead to three.

The Smashinistas answered with Punches Pileup’s two point jam. The lead was now down to one point.

Then it was time for the Stunts to play ITS game.

The purple skaters collected the next three jams in the first half’s final five minutes. Artemischief scored a four-pointer while Shiner collected four of her own.

Up 28-19, the Stunts delivered a shot to the Smashies that sent the ladies into a tailspin - an Artemischief double grand slam as the clock wound down. The 10-pointer with :25 left would put the exclamation on a Stunts’ 19-0 stretch run - and a 39-19 lead at the halftime break.

The Stunts would continue the roll to begin the second half of play. The defending champs would outscore the Smashies 20-10 in the second half’s first eleven minutes. Thanks to Shiner’s 8-point tally with 19:10 left to play, the Stunt Devils possessed a 59-31 lead.

The bout - itself a foreshadowing of next month’s league championship - then took a strange turn and featured a foreshadowing of things to come later that night.

With 18:50 remaining, time stood still….literally.

A power malfunction shut down circuitry to the scoreboard and silenced the public address system. And ARRG officials called for a suspension of play while officials at the All-American frantically worked on restoring power.

When play resumed ten minutes later, it provided a fresh jump to the Smashies. Downtown Dallis scored five quick out of the gates to cut the gap to 59-36 Stunts.

And much like the beginning stretch of the game, both teams traded points as the second half progressed - the highlight being Educator’s 9-point power jam with 7:30 remaining to make the score 75-53.

Following a two-point score by the Stunts’ Shiner, Dallis’ grand slam for the Smashies decreased the Stunt’s advantage to 19 points.

Feeling the pressure, the Stunts countered with a pair of four-pointers by LaFaetal and Shiner to give the purple contingent a commanding 85-58 with 3:16 remaining.

The Educator collected four on the next jam for the Smashies, but time was now becoming a factor. Perhaps too little, too late, as the deficit was now 23 points.

The Stunts, sensing victory, offered a rare jam to longtime pivot Mayor Francis Slayer. The sign of respect to the ARRG veteran resulted in no points, but with an 85-62 lead with under a minute remaining, this was to give everyone on the Stunts roster a chance to revel in an undefeated regular season.

All seemed well in the world for the Stunts….until the final jam.

As the game clock reached the :30 mark, the Educator raced to the front of the pack and obtained lead jammer status for the Smashies.

And then it happened again - a power failure.

Which in this case did not matter on the game clock, for the 2:00 jam clock was now the element that dictated the final scoring.- which now was uncertain for there no numbers to read by anyone in ARRG Nation.

The key number crucial to the Smashies was “23″ - the current deficit.

And the Stunts were about to be taken to school as the Educator began to rack up points….very, very quickly.

And to the shock of all those in attendance, the Smashies were coming close…dangerously close to tying. In fact, most could tell that Educator had netted multiple grand slams in the process.

Amid all the confusion taking place, the question had to be asked…..just how many points was she scoring?

When ARRG Official Timer Hi-Refinition blew the final whistle to signal the end of the jam - and the bout - the drama was at a fever pitch. And the tension was high as Educator’s points were being calculated.

The Smashies needed 23 points to tie - The Educator scored 15. And the purple contingent knew that they had dodged a huge bullet in the eight point win.

The 85-77 final served multiple purposes for both squads post-bout, who meet again for the league’s top prize in three weeks.

”We definitely know what we need to work on going into the championship game,” said Danger. “We know that we cannot take the Smashies lightly.”

South City Shiner lead the Stunt Devils in scoring with 31 points, followed by Artemischief’s 29 and Morgan LeFaetal’s 19.

And all three jammers will be on the radar of the Smashinistas - who will look for the franchise’s first title at the re-match next month.

“I think we’re going in aware, but confident,” said The Educator, who finished with a bout-high 49 points. ”I feel like we’ve got some work to do, a few things to tweak, and I think we can take it.”

Downtown Dallis added 15 for the Smashies (1-3), while Punches Pileup added 13.

But now with the regular season in full closure, the slate is wiped completely clean for both sides.

All stats are reset to zero on Saturday, July 10 - and neither team wants to be known as the runner-up.

“It’s going to be knock-down, drag out, full-on derby brawl,” foreshadowed Danger.

Indeed, she is correct.

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UNOFFICIAL SCORING

Stunt Devils: South City Shiner 31, Artemischief 29, Morgan LeFateal 19, Mighty Mighty Boston 6

Smashinistas: The Educator 49, Downtown Dallis 15, Punches Pileup 13

NOTES FROM THE POOBAH

Thanks to all who came out on a busy Father’s Day weekend to enjoy women’s flat track roller derby action. There were many dads who were in the audience who continue to support their daughters in the sport that they love so much. Whether you were a dad, a spouse or a significant other to a skater, thank you for your support to the women of the league who make this an important part of their lives.

Much thanks should go out to our media partners who continue to spread the word of ARRG, including KPLR-TV and KTVI-TV, who did an amazing job down the stretch. Thanks to you all for your continued support.

And thanks to all who patiently sat through our extended timeout during the bout while we had a malfunction in the junction with our electricity. An impromptu calvade of entertainment - including skating stunts by ARRG officials, the “worm” executed by Joanie Rollmoan, a belly flop by Hells LaBelle and the “wave” by ARRG Nation - proceeded to make a long break not seem so long.

TICKETS AVAILABLE NOW FOR THE CHAMPIONSHIP BOUT ONLINE

Saturday, July 10 will be here before you know it, and you - a member of the derby-lovin’ public - do not want to be shut out from the action. The 2010 ARRG Championship, featuring the Stunt Devils and the Smashinistas has a special start time of 7 PM. And once again it’s two bouts for the price of one as the STLGatekeepers - the men’s flat track roller derby squad of St. Louis - participate in an intrasquad exhibition prior to the title bout.

The last time there was a double-dip of derby action featuring ARRG and the Gatekeepers - the building reached maximum capacity - so much so that patrons were turned away at the door due to fire occupancy issues.

I can’t stress this enough - if you don’t have a ticket already for Saturday, July 10 - GET IT NOW!

Go to Brown Paper Tickets online to order your tickets.

If you don’t…you probably will only hear about the final.

ARRG TO PARTICPATE AT PRIDEFEST THIS SUNDAY

The Arch Rival Roller Girls will again participate in the official PrideFest parade, to be held Sunday, June 27 on South Grand in St. Louis. The parade route, which makes its way down South Grand Avenue to Tower Grove Park, begins at 12 noon.

This continues ARRG’s involvement of community events in 2010 - which has included the St. Louis St. Patrick’s Day Parade, HeatUp St. Louis and Macklind Days.

The parade is just one of numerous events going on during the two-day celebration this weekend. For more information about St. Louis PrideFest 2010, check their official website HERE.

When not playing Horse Hooky at Fairmount Park, The Grand Poobah and Hells LaBelle are bout announcers for the 2010 season of the Arch Rival Roller Girls. Check back in this section on Mondays for the latest in ARRG news and information.

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June 6th, 2010 | Posted in Bouts, Charity, Recap

ARRG ALL-STARS BEAT #6 DUKE CITY BY 52!

127-75 WIN NETS LOCALS THIRD WIN IN FOUR BOUTS

by the Grand Poobah

(ST. LOUIS, MO) It was not that long ago that the ARRG All-Stars found themselves in a potentially problematic situation. A mid-May record of 1-4 showed that the locals had experienced more lows than highs early in 2010.

And with strong WFTDA squads on the horizon, a season that some critics would have classified as “rebuilding” could have been completely demolished prior to the official start of summer.

Was the foundation strong enough? And more importantly - could it survive the storm brewing up ahead?

Faced against adversity, the pink and black building still remains intact.

Paced by Artemischief’s bout high 48 points, ARRG posted an impressive 127-75 victory over Duke City of Albuquerque, NM in front of 800 Saturday night at the All-American Sports Mall.

The win over the sixth-ranked team in the WFTDA West region improved ARRG’s record to 4-5, which includes three victories in their last four bouts against WFTDA-sanctioned teams.

“This season we’ve been on a steady stretch upward and it really feels like we’re making some strides,” said ARRG blocker Eli Wallop following the bout. “We’ve been capitalizing on the momentum.”

Although the final score indicates that the bout was lopsided, in all fairness, Duke City was already behind the 8-ball prior the bout - a roster of only 13 skaters, which saw the absences of several key players including a top scorer.

Yet with small numbers in the line-up, the Munecas Muertas grabbed an early advantage.

A grand slam by Duke City’s Meep Meep at the 5:00 mark gave the visitors a 15-4 lead.

ARRG would then shift the momentum to its side during the bout’s next ten minutes. Five consecutive lead jam scores - including a 10-pointer by Enya Nightmare - resulted in 22-point uncontested streak. When the dust had settled at the 16:15 mark, ARRG had posted a 30-18 advantage.

Undaunted, Albuquerque quickly regained the lead on the very next jam. Meep Meep’s 15-point megajam overturned the leader board - which now read 33-30 Duke City.

But whereas Duke City placed all their chips on a roadrunner, ARRG countered by unleashing its cheetah on quads.

At the 5:15 mark, Artemischief sprinted to the front of the pack and came up with a 15-point jam of her own. Just like that, ARRG possessed a 49-37 lead.

The veteran jammer’s 27-point first-half output resulted in a 52-41 lead for the pink and black attack at the halftime break.

Both teams collected points at a frenetic pace to start the second half. ARRG’s South City Shiner and Artemischief scored back-to-back four pointers to extend the lead to 19. Nightmare followed with five of her own.

Down 65-41, Duke City’s Meep Meep and Brutalitaur scored 10 and five respectively to keep pace. The local contingent became nervous as the lead had been whittled down to 65-56 with under 24:00 remaining.

Sensing the uneasy feeling of a large lead lost, ARRG responded with a huge rally.

A 26-1 scoring stretch in the bout’s next eight minutes - punctuated by Shiner’s 15-point power jam - made ARRG Nation breathe a sigh of relief. Their favorites on quads now possessed a 91-57 advantage.

ARRG would continue to maintain the pressure on an already exhausted bunch of Duke City skaters. The “fab four” of Artemischief, Shiner, Nightmare and Black Market Baby would score 75 points collectively for ARRG in the second half, which matched the number of points Duke City scored overall for the bout.

Artemischief lead ARRG scorers with 48 points, followed by Shiner’s 31. Nightmare added 28 while BMB collected 15 for the locals, who picked up their second straight win.

Meep Meep paced Duke City (4-3) with 40 points, followed by Brutalitaur’s well-earned 24 and Amanda Jamitinya’s 15.

“Everytime I went out for a hit, I was bracing myself because those (ARRG) girls hit really hard,” said Jamitinya respectfully said after the bout.

How hard? “Bonecrushingly hard,” replied Wallop.

“They’re made out of bricks,” countered Jamitinya.

And that, perhaps, is the best way to build a solid foundation.

The ARRG All-Stars now take a two-month break from travel team action, as the league focuses its energies on the remainder of the 2010 local season.

St. Louis’ best on quads return to all-star action on Saturday & Sunday, August 14 and 15 at the All-American Sports Mall for a special two-day, four team tournament that includes the Detroit Derby Girls, the Kansas City Roller Warriors and the Philadelphia Liberty Belles.

ST. LUNACHIX UPENDED BY DEMOLITION CITY

EVANSVILLE KEEPS RECORD PERFECT

In Saturday night’s opener, ARRG’s developmental team - the St. Lunachix - dropped to 2-2 on the season following a 134-78 loss to the Demolition City Dynamite Dolls of Evansville, IN.

The locals’ loss was the second this year to Demolition City, who remain undefeated at 6-0.

“it’s a little disappointing, but we’ll learn from it and play better next time,” said Chix jammer/blocker The Siege. “(Evansville) is a very good team - they play very well together.”

The Chix were unable to stop the early attack of the Dolls’ monster jammer, Godjilla, whose 33 first-half points resulted in a 51-10 lead twenty minutes into the bout.

Jammer Mighty Mighty Boston gave the St. Lunachix a small glimmer of hope. An 11-pointer scored cut into the deficit, but Demolition City’s Shelby N. Pain countered with a 14-point power jam. A 69-21 halftime lead for Evansville seemed impossible to catch.

“Last season, it usually took us the whole first half to get the gist of what we needed to do,” said Pain of the huge lead at the break. “So what we’ve been working on this season is picking apart what we needed to do before the bout and learning to adapt a lot quicker during the bout.”

It looks like they’re following their plan to the letter.

But to their credit, the St. Lunachix played in the second half as if the bout was tied. Joanie Rollmoan banged out a 15-pointer five minutes into the second half, while The Siege steadily racked up 4-pointers of her own.

Conversely for Demolition City, a pair of 15-point powerjams - one by Godjilla, one by Pain - were pounded with precision as the period progressed.

Evansville proceeded to outscore the locals 65-53 in the second half to ease to victory.

But don’t think that the visitors didn’t have respect for the Chix post-bout.

“We knew they were going to come back at us because they’re tough,” said Pain, who finished with 41 points. “They were still picking us apart on a lot of stuff so we’ve still got plenty of work to do.”

Godjilla’s 48 points paced Demolition City, while Lillith of the Valley added 32.

The Siege scored 30 points while Rollmoan collected 26 for the St. Lunachix, who next play the COMO Derby Dames on Saturday, September 18.

SATURDAY NOTES FROM THE POOBAH

Thanks to all 800 who showed up at the All-American Sports Mall Saturday night to support a fun night of double derby action. Without your support, special events like these would not be possible.

Special thanks go to the athletes and support staff from Duke City and Demolition City for their professionalism throughout the weekend. In bouts that become one-sided, it is very easy for the play to become chippy and the emotions to become stretched-thin, which could potentially lead to “unladylike” moments. Fortunately, the professionalism of all four squads proved that the sport - and its athletes - will always be respected, regardless of the outcome.

Most respectful were the fans from ARRG Nation who showed their appreciation to both visiting teams with post-bout hand slaps following the bouts.

Special shout outs go to our friends from the local media who gave ARRG a little extra lovin’ prior to this doubleheader: Gary B and Randy Gardner of “STL Sports Zone” on KFNS-AM, Brian McKenna of “The Last Call” on KFNS-AM, Van Lorenz and Rick Wallace of 106.5 The ARCH and Angela Hutti of KTVI-TV. Thanks all for continuing to support ARRG! We appreciate it.

MVPs (as selected by the opposition) for the bouts were the following: ARRG All-Stars, Eli Wallop - Duke City, Amanda Jamitinya - St. Lunachix, The Siege - Demolition City, Shelby N. Pain.

june-bout

ARRG NEW “C” TEAM DEBUTS THIS SATURDAY

ST. CHUX DERBY CHIX HOST ST. LOUIS’ NEWEST RECRUITS

chux bout

We’ve featured both the ARRG All-Stars and the St. Lunachix in our continuing coverage this season.

How about we add a third team to the mix?

This weekend marks the debut of ARRG’s other developmental franchise that consists of new recruits to the league in a match-up with the newly-formed St. Chux Derby Chix of St. Charles County.

The bout takes place this Saturday, June 12 at the Omni Sportsplex (4160 Industrial Drive, St. Peters, MO). Doors open at 7pm. The $7 bout starts at 8pm.

Formed last December, The St. Chux Derby Chix is currently a member of USARS (USA Roller Sports), which is the national governing body of roller sports in the United States. Roller sports in the jurisdiction of the USARS include speed skating, inline hockey, figure skating, rink hockey and yep, derby.

USARS derby teams follow the same rules and regulations as the WFTDA, thus they are eligible to face WFTDA teams. The St. Chux Derby Chix’s goal in 2011 is to become an apprentice league of the WFTDA.

The league has one bout under its belt, an interleague match-up between the Vertbreak’n Vixens and the Dollface Killers in mid-April. A 39-35 win for the Vixens launched a newfound athletic alternative in St. Charles County. And if you are a lover of derby who likes to see the sport grow, THAT is always a good thing.

The two squads from St. Charles will combine teams to create their roster, while ARRG will field of roster of rookie recruits. These will be athletes who have dedicated the time and literal sweat equity to ARRG for participation at practices, home bouts and at community events.

They all hope to make their progression into one of the three interleague teams of ARRG in the future. Wouldn’t it be nice to say “thank you” for all the support they have given the league so far?

As of press time, ARRG is still determining the name of the new squad. Find out for yourself as its unveiled this Saturday at the Omni’s Wheel.

It’s the future of the sport - I think it’ll be $7 well spent.

ARRG’S FINAL SPRINT THIS WEEK FOR “RACE FOR THE CURE”

The final week of fundraising has approached for ARRG as they are set to participate in the 2010 Komen St. Louis Race for the Cure, to be held this Saturday morning in downtown St. Louis.

Last year, ARRG raised $2,700 - this year our goal is $3,500! With under a week left, we have reached 43% of our goal! There’s no better time to help out our cause than now! Thanks to your support and donation, you’ll help us achieve that goal and continue our streak of successful community outreach projects in 2010.

To join our team and to make a donation, visit the ARRG team page.

And by all means - come walk with us on June 12 and show support to those who have courageously fought and continue to fight this disease!

standings-after-may-bout1

NEXT WEEK IN THE ARRG NEWSCENTER: The final bout of the regular season approaches! Two teams battle in a potential championship preview while a third team on the sidelines will watch the scoreboard, hoping that mathematics will sneak them into the finals. Hells LaBelle will bring you a preview.

The Grand Poobah and Hells LaBelle are bout announcers for the 2010 season of the Arch Rival Roller Girls. Check back in this section on Mondays for the latest in ARRG news and information.

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May 9th, 2010 | Posted in Bouts, Charity, Recap

SMASHINISTAS DOWN M-80s BY 40!

107-67 FINAL RESULTS IN TITLE BOUT TURNABOUT

by The Grand Poobah

(ST. LOUIS, MO) Perhaps iconic singer Frank Sinatra said it best…

“The best revenge is massive success.”

And perhaps somewhere out there over the weekend, The Chairman of the Board’s words resonated in the minds of the Smashinistas, who avenged an earlier loss this season to the M-80s with a 107-67 victory Saturday night at the All-American Sports Mall.

Well, the reference to “Ol’ Blue Eyes” might be a bit of a journalistic stretch. Yet the ladies in camo fired back a shot after the two teams’ initial meeting three months ago, which saw the M-80s gain the “W.”

And one would have to agree that the victory for the Smashies was massive - not only in point total, but also for their immediate future.

With the win, the Smashinistas (1-2) kept their quest for a championship bout berth intact.

Meanwhile, the loss for the M-80s resulted in a final regular season record of 1-3.

That means that the ladies in red will be helpless observers when the Smashies face the Stunt Devils next month at the All-American for ARRG’s next interleague bout - a bout that will determine the 2010 league championship match-up.

Long story short, if the Smashinistas beat the Stunts on June 19, they’re automatically in the finals.

But a Stunt Devils’ win will result in the Smashinistas and the M-80s sporting identical 1-3 regular season records - and as the two teams split their head-to-head bouts, the team that advances to finals will be decided on mathematics.

That’s a lot to digest post-bout - but the Smashies’ strategies before and during Saturday’s bout were executed almost flawlessly.

“We worked so hard for this,” said co-captain Eli Wallop following the bout. ”We worked hard on the track getting our skills up. We worked hard off the track, getting our teamwork together. And we worked hard in the war room, writing the lineups and getting the girls together on the track at the right time and in the right order. We fought for it and it feels good.”

That hard work resulted in an early lead for the Smashies - a lead that they would never surrender.

Four consecutive early lead jams from the onset - buoyed by the triple threat of jammers The Educator, Downtown Dallis and Punches Pileup, resulted in a 12-1 Smashie lead five minutes into the bout.

Following a three-point tally by Dallis, the M-80s cut into the gap ten minutes in. Jammer Enya Nightmare’s seven-pointer whittled the Smashies’ advantage to 15-8.

A two-point jam by Educator was followed by a grand slam by the M-80s Madam Moonstruck. The five-pointer made the score 17-13 Smashies with 17:00 remaining in the first half.

Both teams racked up points on the next jam. Dallis picked up two more while the M-80s utilized Black Market Baby’s four-point effort - which resulted in a 19-17 bout.

And then the wheels flew off the wagon for the M-80s, and the Smashinistas would go on an unmerciful attack.

The Smashies would post a 24-0 run for the next five minutes. Pileup’s grand slam for the Smashies was followed by Educator’s 19-point power jam - which collectively resulted in a 43-17 lead for the ladies in camo.

But just when things looked in total control for the Smashinistas, the firecrackers on quads would go on a roll of their own.

Jams by BMB, Keligua and Nightmare resulted in a 20-5 run for the M-80s in the first half’s final eight minutes. A 48-37 halftime lead for the Smashinistas was anything but safe against this dangerous bunch.

It would have been easy for the Smashies to buckle under this late-half pressure - yet at the intermission break, the camo braintrust decided to stick with what had worked so well early in the bout.

“We just made sure that we followed our strategy and played our game,” said The Educator. “We weren’t reacting to what they did. We stayed on our game and focused on what we needed to do.”

And that focus was evident as the second half started. Pileup scored seven for the Smashies on the opening jam of the frame. Dallis followed with a five-pointer of her own two jams later, which saw the Smashies pull ahead to a 60-38 lead five minutes into the second half.

Yet, being down by 22 points did not stop the effort of M-80s, paced by rookie Black Market Baby. The jammer silenced the camo contingent with a 13-point score, which narrowed the gap to 60-51 with 21:00 remaining.

But once again, the M-80s would be caught in a scoring malady - this time a fatal one as they failed to score in the bout’s next fifteen minutes.

This resulted in the Smashies going on a 35-point uncontested scoring run. Pileup would score 25 points during the streak while Dallis added ten. When the dust had finally settled, the Pretty Princesses had posted a 95-51 advantage.

The Smashies would outscore the M-80s 59-30 in the second half en route to the 40-point victory - their first of the season - and a season saving one at that.

“I am so proud of this team,” said Wallop. “At the beginning of the season, we had a lot of rookies and we had a lot of work to do. We’ve been putting in the time and it’s great to see it result in a win.”

For some of the Smashie veterans, the win was a little overwhelming.

“Since I’ve been in the league, we’ve only won one other time,” said Pileup, who finished with a bout-high 44 points. “When you’re accustomed to always playing second fiddle, it feels pretty darn good to be in the winner’s circle.”

The Educator scored 37 points for the Smashinistas while Dallis added 26, her ARRG personal best. Black Market Baby scored 32 hard-earned points for the M-80s while Nightmare finished with 27.

And while the victory seemed sweet at the time, the leaders of the Smashinistas knew that their uphill climb must continue if they wish to enter the championship title bout against the Stunt Devils - a team they battle next month.

“We’ve got a lot of work to do, but we can do it,” said The Educator. “It’s all about our attitude and how hard we practice. I know it’s all possible.”

“We are taking it one game at a time, one practice at a time, one jam at a time,” added Wallop. “It’s gonna pay off.”

UNOFFICIAL SCORING

Smashinistas: Punches Pileup 44, The Educator 37, Downtown Dallis 26

M-80s: Black Market Baby 32, Enya Nightmare 27, Madam Moonstruck 5, Joltin’ Josie 3

SATURDAY NOTES FROM THE POOBAH

We thank all of you who came out to Saturday’s bout, and especially all of the moms who spent their Mother’s Day weekend enjoying ARRG action. We appreciate your continued patronage and support.

Also a big thank you to the local media outlets - including The Riverfront Times, “The Last Call with Brian McKenna” on KFNS-590 AM and Van Lorenz from 106.5 FM The Arch - who continue to support ARRG on a continuous basis.

We appreciate those who contributed and donated to our monthly raffle, which continues to support our 2010 fundraising efforts for Youth In Need. A lucky fan won two tickets to this Tuesday’s Cardinal baseball game.

A retraction from last week’s column: Last week’s Smashie/M-80s bout preview listed rookie skater Mighty Mighty Boston as one to watch for Saturday’s bout. And she was one to watch - as she did a magnificent job working the charity raffle. You see, Boston actually skates for the Stunt Devils. My apologies for the error - and for the confusion. ARRG Newscenter Managing Editor Harland Whipple also apologizes for the error - and promises to keep the PBR away from the Poobah while he writes future columns.

standings-after-may-bout

To see photographer Bob Dunnell’s pictorial from Saturday’s bout on FLICKR, GO HERE. It’ll give you a true flavor of the great action ARRG brings you every month!

Experience it yourself on Saturday, June 5 and Saturday, June 19 at the All-American Sports Mall.

ST. LUNACHIX ON THE ROAD THIS WEEKEND!

Rockford Rage

ARRG’s developmental team, The St. Lunachix, return to action this Saturday night as they travel to face the Rockford Rage at the Indoor Sports Center (880 East Riverside Blvd., Rockford, IL)

Doors open at 6 PM. Bout time is 7 PM.

The Chix (1-1) are back into the groove following their first win of the season in Cincinnati last month.

And what a win it was! The locals upended the Cincinnati Rollergirls’ Silent Lambs 89-39 in front of 3,100 derby fanatics on April 17.

The St. Lunachix was paced by The Siege’s 29 points, followed by Mighty Mighty Boston’s tally of 20.

The Rage (1-2) also picked up their first win of the season in April, a 117-49 victory over Ft. Wayne.

This will be another tough challenge for The Chix. Hopefully another quick start - such as the one in Cincinnati - will result in another triumph.

ARRG TO PARTICPATE IN MACKLIND DAYS THIS WEEKEND!

The Arch Rival Roller Girls are proud to announce their participation in the 2010 Macklind Days festivities.

This year’s event features plenty of great local music, a washer tournament, a PIE contest, BELLY DANCERS, FIRE DANCERS….and a beanbag toss with your Macklind-lovin’ Arch Rival Roller Girls!

For more information about Macklind Days, including a rundown of events, CLICK HERE.

ARRG TEAM SET TO “RACE FOR THE CURE” IN JUNE

Continuing our community outreach efforts in 2010, ARRG has a team participating in the 2010 Komen St. Louis Race for the Cure, to be held in downtown St. Louis on Saturday, June 12.

The Komen Race for the Cure Series is the largest series of 5K runs/fitness walks in the world. Of the net proceeds raised locally from the Komen St. Louis Race for the Cure, a minimum of 25% goes to national breast cancer research and up to 75% stays in St. Louis to help organizations provide breast cancer education, screening and treatment programs.

Last year, ARRG raised $2,700 - this year our goal is $3,500! As of Monday, May 10, we have reached 22% of our goal! Thanks to your support and donation, you’ll help us achieve that goal and continue our streak of successful community outreach projects in 2010.

To join our team and to make a donation, visit the ARRG team page.

And by all means - come walk the 5K with us on June 12 and show support to those who have courageously fought and continue to fight this disease!

GATEKEEPERS RUNNERS-UP AT SPRING ROLL

(FT. WAYNE, IN) Congratulations to the STL GateKeepers, the area’s only mens flat track derby franchise, who placed second in the men’s division of The Spring Roll held this past weekend in Ft. Wayne, Indiana.

While most people on Saturday morning were either making that pot o’ coffee or butterin’ up that slice of bread, the STL GateKeepers were laying down the foundation for a title bout appearance.

St. Louis advanced to the finale with an early morning 49-35 victory over The Twin City Terrors, followed by a nail-biting 43-40 win over The Dallas Deception.

The title bout saw the GateKeepers drop a heartbreaking 121-120 loss to Puget Sound of Tacoma, WA.

Following the weekend tilt, the GateKeepers find themselves with a record of 3-1 in their inaugural campaign, which finds them on the road to Evansville, Indiana on May 29, followed by a return home to the All-American Sports Mall on Saturday, July 10.

When not discussing the globalization of mass media conglomerates and its relationship to the hegemony of popular culture - or their favorite Ric Flair wrestling match - The Grand Poobah and Hells LaBelle are bout announcers for the 2010 season of the Arch Rival Roller Girls. Check back in this section on Mondays for the latest in ARRG news, information and retractions.

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May 3rd, 2010 | Posted in Bouts, Recap

SMASHINISTAS VS. M-80s THIS SATURDAY!

REMATCH HAS POST-SEASON IMPLICATIONS

by the Grand Poobah

Heading into the 2010 season, The Smashinistas knew that the competition was going to be fierce in the battle for the top spot in ARRG.

Not only did they see that their quad counterparts - the Stunt Devils and the M-80s - restock their line-ups, but they also had numerous holes in their own line-up to fill due to the retirement of nine skaters from the 2009 Smashie roster.

For this young squad, the road travelled has not been easy in their first two bouts of the season.

But they’ll be the first to admit that do not want any sympathy from the ARRG faithful - they actually enjoy the challenge.

And they plan to tackle their biggest challenge of the season at the All-American Sports Mall this weekend.

The Smashinistas (0-2) battle the M-80s (1-2) this Saturday night in bout five of the ARRG 2010 season. Doors open at 7 pm. Bout time is 8 pm.

In this re-match, The Smashies look to avenge an 87-71 loss to the ladies in red back in February- a contest which saw the camo-clad skaters claw their way back from a 41-point second-half deficit to pull within close range of the M-80s.

A lesson was learned that night - and the Smashinistas do not plan on having history repeat itself.

“We’re going to be more prepared and take the bull by the horns in the first half,” said Smashie co-captain Punches Pileup said of the first matchup. “We really hit our stride in the second half (of that bout). We’re going to have to get our engines revved a little bit earlier.”

And to their credit, they did in their next match-up against the defending league champion Stunt Devils. Yet, the overwhelming disadvantage in unit experience was a little too much for the Smashies.

Now with a little extra team practice under their skates, this spunky group is poised to make an impact.

Smashie jammer The Educator will bring school to session Saturday night. Her A+ 41-point performance against the Stunts in bout three of the season made ARRG Nation pay attention in class. She netted 21 against the M-80s earlier this year.

Downtown Dallis

Combined with Pileup, who scored a personal best of 32 in the February showdown, and Downtown Dallis, with her 14-point scoring average, a very energetic power trio will take to the floor offensively for the Smashinistas.

Also look for potential scoring from Shillelagh Spillblood, who has been recently donning the star on the helmet a little more frequently in practice.

But perhaps the ones who will serve as the true catalyst of the machine will be the blockers up front. Co-captain Eli Wallop looks to provide her all-star muscle while Jezebelle - a bout MVP winner earlier this season - and veterans Davey Blockit and SueShe provide additional help.

Jezebelle

Two new Smashies are also potentially in the mix as well - the recently-drafted Rock Steady and The Forecloser could make their All-American debuts Saturday.

If anything, this group of skaters has learned a lot as a collective unit in a short amount of time. This will be a much better team than what we saw in their initial match-up three months ago.

Meanwhile The M-80s have one objective in mind - win at all costs. And there’s a golden ticket dangling in front of them.

A win this Saturday will give the firecrackers on quads an automatic championship berth.

It’s been an emotional ride for the M-80s this season - one that has seen numerous peaks and valleys.

Black Market Baby

And through all the turmoil, there’s been some outstanding performances. Jammer Black Market Baby has put together a banner year statistically - including a team high 21 points against the Smashies in February.

Jammer Enya Nightmare- who missed the first Smashie/M-80 bout due to a league suspension - has returned to the track with a vengeance. Keligula - on the shelf earlier this season with an injury - is back in the fold offensively and has looked solid. Joltin’ Josie and Joanie Rollmoan have provided some much-welcomed scoring, as well as newly-acquired Mighty Mighty Boston - who made many take notice in Cincinnati a few weeks back.

The Siege

And then there’s The Siege….’nuff said.

However, keeping in tune with their tumultuous theme this season, the M-80s will be without two key components Saturday - and for the rest of the season.

Both blocker Suri O’ Killer and jammer Chokehold Chanel No. 5 will be out of the line-up, and although they’ll be there in spirit - the intangibles they bring to the track will still be sorely missed.

This announcer never likes to make predictions. As we’ve seen through the season so far, the only thing to expect in ARRG is the unexpected.

However, there is only one truth that will be discovered after the clock has expired this Saturday - one team will be handed its third loss.

And that’s something that neither team wants.

An attendance of 1,000+ were treated an emotional bout when these two teams faced each other in February.

I wouldn’t expect anything less this Saturday night.

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ARRG ALL-STARS MOBBED BY MUSIC CITY

by the Grand Poobah - Statistical Info from the Nashville Rollergirls’ Twitter feed. Photo by Bob Dunnell.

When conducting research on “Official State Songs of Tennessee” to incorporate into the following story, one of the witty ditties discovered was “The Tenneessee Waltz,” which was adopted by the 84^thGeneral Assembly in 1965.

Seemed like a good idea.

The state-endorsed song - sung in the first person - recounts a fella introducing his true love to a friend as the waltz was being performed.

As the song progresses lyrically, the friend proceeds to steal the true love away from our hapless singer, who concludes the depressing tale with agonizing despair.

And in a very similar scenario, the ARRG All-Stars had something snatched away by another this weekend past weekend in Nashville - a victory.

The Music City All-Stars defeated St. Louis 115-82 in WFTDA-sanctioned action Saturday night at the Tennessee State Fairgrounds Sports Arena.

With the win, Nashville improves to 4-0 on the season and moves up one spot to #17 in the Derby News Network’s Top 25 Power Rankings.

This bout proved to the toughest of the year so far for Music City, as ARRG used early-bout momentum to build a 43-42 lead at halftime.

Both teams slugged it out down the stretch. ARRG posted a 72-70 edge midway through the second half.

Then Nashville popped the locals with a huge offensive rush. Music City would go on to outscore ARRG 45-10 for the remainder of the bout.

The ARRG All-Stars - now 1-4 on the season - continue travel play on May 22-23 at the two-day, 20-bout Midwest Brewhaha in Milwaukee.

I promise now to issue a self-imposed moratorium of incorporating state songs into derby stories…although “On, Wisconsin” does have a much happier ending.

ARRG TEAM SET TO “RACE FOR THE CURE” IN JUNE

Continuing our community outreach efforts in 2010, ARRG has recently announced the formation of a team to participate in the 2010 Komen St. Louis Race for the Cure, to be held in downtown St. Louis on Saturday, June 12.

Last year, ARRG raised $2,700 - this year our goal is $3,500! As of Monday, May 3, we have reached 18% of our goal! Thanks to your support and donation, you’ll help us achieve that goal and continue our streak of successful community outreach projects in 2010.

To join our team and to make a donation, visit the ARRG team page.

And by all means - come walk the 5K with us on June 12 and show support to those who have courageously fought and continue to fight this disease!

The Grand Poobah and Hells LaBelle are bout announcers for the 2010 season of the Arch Rival Roller Girls. Check back in this section on Mondays for the latest in ARRG news/information.

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April 17th, 2010 | Posted in Bouts, Recap

ARRG TEAMS SPLIT IN CINCINNATI

REPORTED 3,100 ON HAND TO WATCH LOCALS IN OHIO

by The Grand Poobah (statistical information provided by Derby News Network via the Cincinnati Roller Girls Internet boutcast)

(CINCINNATI, OH) The weekend trip by St. Louis’ best on quads to the Buckeye State to battle the squads of the Cincinnati Rollergirls was characterized by impressive scoring performances, plenty of bone-jarring hits and track-shaking action by both leagues.

It only seems apropos that when the dust had settled, both cities had earned a split.

In front of 3,100+ at the historic Cincinnati Gardens Saturday night, CRG’s Black Sheep upended ARRG’s All-Stars 134-68 while the St. Lunachix defeated the Silent Lambs 89-39 in the developmental undercard.

CRG BLACK SHEEP 134 ARRG ALL-STARS 68

The Black Sheep, currently #16 in the most recent Derby News Network’s Power Rankings, got out to a quick start in the main event.

Following a four-point jam by CRG’s Sadistic Sadie, fellow jammer K. Lethal followed with a 13-point jam. The baker’s dozen gave CRG a 17-4 lead three minutes into the bout.

Plenty of physicality was found early in the bout - so much so that Black Sheep jammer Hannah Ouchocinco wound up leaving the first half early with a broken finger and lacerations on her chin that required stitches.

During her absence, ARRG’s Enya Nightmare was able to get one point on the next jam for the ladies in pink and black to cut the gap to twelve.

And then ARRG’s offense was shut down…….hard.

The Black Sheep would go on a 21-0 roll. Jams by Sadie, Lethal and Nuk’Em would extend CRG’s lead to 38-5 thirteen minutes into the bout.

The hard-hitting tenacity would continue as the half progressed - and then a wounded Black Sheep returned…with a vengeance.

And when CRG’s Hannah Ouchocinco donned the star on the helmet, she got three “last laughs” in the rest of the half. Two 14-pointers and an eight-pointer to end the frame resulted in a 90-17 Black Sheep lead at intermission.

ARRG would be much more competitive offensively in the second half, a re-occurring trademark of this year’s team. The ladies in pink would outscore the Black Sheep 51-49 in the second half, thanks to triple-grand slams by Nightmare and Black Market Baby.

But in the end, the local’s deficit would be too much to come back against, especially due to Lethal’s 23 second half points for CRG.

This inevitably resulted in the ARRG All-Stars’ third consecutive loss in WFTDA-sanctioned action, and third lopsided defeat in a row.

Yet as strange as this may sound, this was probably ARRG’s most aggressive and passionate bout of the season thus far. And 68 points against the sixteenth-ranked Sheep is not shabby, considering the absence of jammer South City Shiner to the match-up.

The Black Sheep, now 4-1 thanks to their fourth consecutive WFDTA win, were paced by K. Lethal’s 49 points. Hannah Ouchocinco added a hard-fought 43 points.

ARRG, who drops to 1-3 on the season, was led in scoring by Black Market Baby’s 20 points. Enya Nightmare added 16.

Blocker Smarty McFly picked up the team MVP - as presented by CRG - for the ARRG All-Stars, who return to WFTDA-sanctioned action on Saturday, May 1 as they travel to Nashville to battle the Music City All-Stars.

ARRG ST. LUNACHIX 89 CRG SILENT LAMBS 39

In the evening’s opener - The St. Lunachix- ARRG’s developmental team - utilized a pair of uncontested 20-point runs to defeat CRG’s Silent Lambs 89-39.

The win marked the first of the season for the Chix - who improved to 1-1.

After falling behind 3-1 early in the first half, the St. Lunachix went on a 26-point uncontested run three minutes into the frame. Following a five-point grand slam by The Siege, Chix newcomer Mighty Mighty Boston followed with an eight-pointer to give the visitors a 14-3 lead.

Another newcomer - Whip Scream - followed with a powerful 13-point jam to extend the lead to 27-3 with 11:30 left in the first half.

The dominance continued as the half continued. A four-point jam by Shillelagh Spillblood was then followed by another Siege grand slam and a four-pointer by Boston, which upped the score to 40-12 St. Lunachix with 5:15 left.

Following a seven-point jam by the Silent Lambs’ Wheezy- which cut the gap to 40-19 - St. Lunachix jammer Joanie Rollmoan scored a three-pointer to round out the first half scoring, which saw the representatives from St. Louis up 43-19 at the intermission.

Not to rest on their laurels, the St. Lunachix came out strong in the second half as The Siege scored 11 right out of the gate to up the score to 54-19.

As the bout progressed, the Chix’s rotation of blockers, which included Miss Lippy, Deathica Steele, Sue She, Jezebelle and a host of others, kept CRG scoring to a minimum.

This enabled the St. Louis contingent to go on a 23-0 scoring blitz late in the bout, punctuated by Boston’s eight-pointer with 2:30 remaining.

In the end, the 50-point victory was arguably one of the most impressive showings in the young franchise’s history.

The Siege paced the Lunachix in scoring with 29 points, while Mighty Mighty Boston added 20.

Jezebelle was presented the MVP award for The St. Lunachix, who return to action on Saturday, May 15 to battle the Rockford Rage at the Indoor Sports Arena in Rockford, IL.

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INJURY UPDATE: SURI O’ KILLER

Many of you in ARRG Nation have been inquiring about the status of M-80s blocker Suri O’ Killer, who went down in April 10th’s ARRG interleague bout with a knee injury. (For those of you who are unfamiliar with the incident: scroll down in the news section to the “In Poobah’s Corner: Is It Real?” column.)

Suri contacted us here in the newscenter this weekend to update us on her current status and future…

The doctors have diagnosed her with a torn ACL, which will require surgery in the next couple of weeks. Unfortunately, this means that the season is over for her. And the early prognosis is that she will not be allowed back on skates until October.

Suri wanted me to pass along a personal message to ARRG Nation:

“I want to thank my entire league and the fans for their concern and well wishes. This is just a small set-back, I’ll be back on the track in 2011 (with my zombie knee) hitting harder than ever. I love this sport and the community that supports it. Until then, get used to seeing my face at every ARRG event. You just can’t keep a derby girl down for long!”

Indeed, Suri! No doubt we’ll see her bounce back as time progresses and we look forward to seeing her at the M80s/Smashinistas match-up on Saturday, May 8 at the All-American Sports Mall.

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The Grand Poobah and Hells LaBelle are bout announcers for the 2010 season of the Arch Rival Rollergirls. Check back in this section Mondays for the latest in ARRG news, information…and jerseys.

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April 11th, 2010 | Posted in Bouts, Recap

STUNTS CLAIM TITLE BOUT BERTH IN 110-85 WIN

LEAGUE LEADERS POST 76 SECOND HALF POINTS VS. M-80s

by the Grand Poobah

(ST. LOUIS, MO) After one of the most physical and emotional bouts in Arch Rival Roller Girl history, The Stunt Devils are a skate stride closer in their quest to once again raise the league’s top hardware.

In bout number four of the 2010 ARRG season, the defending champions upended the M-80s 110-85 Saturday night in front of 900 derby-faithfuls.

With the win, the Stunts (3-0) clinched a berth into the 2010 ARRG Championship bout, to be held July 10 at All-American Sports Mall.

“This feels so awesome,” said jammer Starry Starry Fight. “The Stunts deserve it, completely.”

However, the win did not come as easily as the final score reflected, as the firecrackers on quads had the ladies in purple on the ropes at numerous times during the bout.

In fact, a 60-34 M-80s’ lead at the halftime break made those in audience wonder if the skaters clad in red had successfully returned to its league championship form, which had dominated a two-year stretch in 2007 and 2008.

There were plenty of hard hits and short tempers to be found in Saturday’s match-up, which made for high drama throughout the bout.

This made ARRG Nation take notice, especially considering the fully-loaded line-up that the M-80s brought to the table.

Four new full-time roster members made their debuts Saturday night - a product of a mid-season draft held last month - which included former M-80s veteran The Siege and unretired Smashinistas captain Chokehold Chanel No. 5, who had been long associated with the league by wearing a different colored jersey.

“It was a little surreal,” said Choke. “I had three years in cammo…but I look a lot better in red, I think.”

But even with this re-loaded line-up, the M-80s found themselves in a deficit early in the bout.

A streak of eight lead jams by the Stunt Devils in the bout’s opening 10 minutes gave them a 22-1 lead - and it looked like it could have been another frustrating night for the M-80s.

But something unexpected happened - as things often happen in ARRG - for the remainder of the first half.

The M-80s turned it around - boy, did they turn it around!

After Joanie Rollmoan’s 3-point jam, Enya Nightmare followed with a 14-point tally, which cut the Stunts’ lead to 22-18.

Then it was time for the “newbie” to shine.

Chokehold sprinted to the front of the pack and posted an 8-pointer, which gave the M-80s a 26-23 lead with 14:00 left.

Then it was time for a red rally. Rookie M-80 jammer Black Market Baby followed with a triple grand-slam. The 15-point tally with 10:40 left in the first half extended the red jerseys’ lead to 41-23.

This started a stretch of scoring dominance for BMB. Two more high-scoring jams - including a 10-pointer to finish the half - stretched the M-80s’ lead to 60-34 at intermission.

This left the Stunts with a soul-searching situation in the locker room. How would the defending champs respond in the second half…submit or succeed?

“We decided that we had to get our heads back into the game and play calmly,” said Starry Starry Fight of the halftime deficit. “The Stunts do better when we work together.”

But the work would not be easy as the momentum continued for the M-80s to start the second half. Four successive jams - two by Nightmare and solos by Chanel and Rollmoan - extended the M-80s’ lead to 70-34 five minutes into the half.

But once again, something unexpected happened - this time to the relief of the purple contingent.

The Stunts began to turn it around - a proverbial water-dousing to the lit wick of the firecrackers.

Stunt jammer South City Shiner began the momentum shift with a 9-pointer to cut the gap to 73-43 with 24:45 left.

Then the ladies in purple began a powerful rotation at jammer. Shiner and Starry, along with Artemischief and rookie Morgan LaFaetal, chopped away at the M-80s’ lead.

Starry’s four-point jam was followed by Shiner’s triple grand slam - a 15-pointer that cut the gap to 73-62 with 19:00 left.

The defending champs continued the amazing comeback with strong jams by Starry and LaFaetal to whittle the lead down as the half progressed, which played with upon the M-80s’ psyche.

“We were sitting on them, holding them, getting into their heads,” said LaFaetal. “Making them lose their game.”

And what was once a 36-point second-half lead for the M-80s had now evaporated to only three points - an 85-82 advantage with eight minutes remaining.

The two teams figuratively traded punches like a couple of heavyweight prize fighters for the next couple of minutes, but then the league’s scoring leader struck the knock-out blow that upended the M-80s.

Starry Starry Fight’s 14-point jam with 5:40 remaining put the exclamation point on the turnaround. The Stunts now possessed a 96-85 lead.

And it looked like the M-80s would issue the receipt on the next jam, but M-80s jammer Nikki Vixxen was sent to the penalty box - after being whisker-close to being lead jammer - for cutting the track.

The Stunts would go on to score an unanswered 14 points to finish the bout and clinch a championship title berth - and prove that the defending champions chose the correct solution at halftime.

“You can be behind by 30 points like we were, but you can just chip away at it,” said Starry Starry Fight, who scored a bout-high 47 points for the victors. “Two points (here and there) might not seem like much to the crowd, but if you can do that over and over, it adds up.”

South City Shiner added 43 while Morgan LeFaetal posted a personal best of 12 points.

However, the breakout star of the bout was M-80s jammer Black Market Baby, whose eye-opening 44-point performance puts her well on pace to picking up the ARRG 2010 Rookie of the Year Award.

Eye-opening also describes the much improved play of the M-80s (1-2) as the 2010 season has progressed. If not for some inconsistencies in the second half, the women in red would have claimed the duke.

“We gave the Stunts a run for their money and we’re only gonna get better from here,” said Chokehold Chanel No. 5 after the bout. “Don’t count us out because we’ve got more tricks up our sleeves.”

This makes for an interesting scenario next month as the jammer’s current team battles her former team, The Smashinistas (0-2), on Saturday, May 8 at the All-American Sports Mall.

Could Chokehold’s statement be considered a threat…or a promise?

“We’re 100% focused,” said the new red jammer. “We know what we have to do and we’re gonna keep busting our butts to do it.”

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UNOFFICIAL SCORING

STUNT DEVILS: Starry Starry Fight 47, South CIty Shiner 43, Morgan LaFaetal 12, Artemischief 9

M-80s: Black Market Baby 44, Enya Nightmare 24, Chokehold Chanel No.5 16, The Siege 3, Joanie Rollmoan 3

SATURDAY NOTES FROM THE POOBAH

- Saturday’s weather couldn’t have been better - which made the decision for some who contemplated skipping Saturday night’s ARRG bout difficult. We’re glad that 900 of you made the right choice. We thank you for your continued patronage and support this season.

- Thanks again to all those who participated in our charity raffle, which supports the work of Youth In Need. Your donation is pushing us even closer to our $3,500 goal for the 2010 season.

- And a big thank you to the following adjacent businesses near the All-American Sports Mall for their continued cooperation with overflow parking: Cleanco, Video Services Group, Ferguson Financial and Precision Healthcare.

- Also Hells LaBelle and I would like to once again acknowledge the help of Smashinistas co-captain Eli Wallop, who provided plenty of information to the boutcast. Wallop, to her credit, took the high road when it came to addressing the acquisition of former teammate Chokehold Chanel No. 5 by the M-80s. This proves that this leader is one class act and a great representative of the league.

- Scratches for Saturday’s bout were Cherry Chernobyl and Jack U Up for the M-80s and Cookies N. Cream for the Stunt Devils.

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IN POOBAH’S CORNER: IS IT REAL?

That’s a question I get asked a lot when people find out I “call” roller derby action.

They are perhaps familiar with the telecasts of the sport from the 1970s on ESPN, or even worse, the campy “Rollergames” syndicated program from 1989 (A figure-8 track…the high-banked 20-foot “Wall of Death”…an overtime jam that implemented a live alligator pit….are you kidding me?)

Those “historical” theatrical examples usually give today’s modern derby a negative connotation.

When asked, I don’t get worked up as much as perhaps a skater would. Ask the same question to Grave Danger - and you’ll get a quad in your mouth.

Then Miss Lippy will come by, point at your face and laugh at your remaining broken Chicklets.

My participation with the league is minimal in comparison to the literal “sweat-equity” that these athletes put into it. They’ll be happy to show you the bruises and scars associated with their sport. Some consider it a badge of honor.

Yet as much as I try to convince the skeptical that there’s no pre-mediated movesets or pre-determined outcomes, it’s still a question that’s asked of me - coincidentally as recent as this past week by man with a PhD, who tried to find a correlation between modern derby and professional wrestling.

I truly wished this conversation would have taken place this week rather than last week…for I think I have a pretty good defense of point - a direct result of this past weekend’s bout.

For first timers of roller derby action, you might be unfamiliar with a league tradition - one that begins with worry and concern, but inevitably ends with compassion and relief.

If a player becomes injured during play, ARRG officials will immediately call off a jam and all skaters and officials will drop to one knee while EMTs assist the fallen skater.

It is a sign of respect shown by all members of the league. It embodies the true feeling of solidarity that flows non-stop through their veins.

Most times, the skater will be back on their quads in just a few seconds. These athletes are used to playing with pain…real pain - it’s what they do (and if you asked most of them - they don’t like the attention).

But on a rare occasion, those seconds become minutes - and the reality of the physical nature of the sport - and its inherit dangers - becomes crystal clear.

One of those moments unfortunately occurred as M-80s blocker Suri O’ Killer went down with a knee injury late in the first half Saturday night.

Time seemed to have frozen as the crowd sat in stunned silence. The lone sound heard in the quiet venue was the self-removal of protective gear by Suri.

It was a chilling sound - a sound that puts a queasy feeling in your stomach.

A few moments later it was followed by a sound of exasperation of someone who was in excruciating pain.

Then it was concluded by the sound of dejection from a skater who could no longer participate that evening in a sport she loves so much.

All this occurred a few feet in front of me - and it rattled me - a lot.

Was it real? You damn right it was.

Perhaps it was at this moment that I - and the audience - realized that there was a good chance she was not going to continue this bout.

And whether one “gets” roller derby or not, we can all find a parallel with Suri’s situation in our daily lives.

Think about it. We all enjoy our favorite activities - physical and non-physical - with a passion that defines who we are…that makes us real. And when we are denied that opportunity - whether by default or accident - it’s frustrating. And the skater who I saw being attended to was being denied.

As much as I tried to block the activity of the EMTs with Suri from my view, the mere fact that the techs had no other choice but to move her directly in front of me in order for play to continue made it all the more difficult - both as a bout announcer and as a human being.

Now within hand’s reach, I became a witness to the true, mutual love and respect these athletes have for each other. Some approached her with words of encouragement - even some of the opposition approached with watery eyes. Even if they are opposites in uniform color, they all share a common thread - a thread that’s strong…really strong.

I figured the less I see, the better. I still had a responsibility to carry out.

But most of what I saw were the bodies of technicians and a giant stretcher being wheeled into position. Dagnabbit, I couldn’t see the action!

Amongst all the visual blockage, I then felt a slight tug on my left pinky finger. At least it felt real….

I looked down and it was Suri - who had locked pinkies in order to give me a reassuring smile and wink as if to say “I’m gonna be just fine.”

Which made me feel better…not only because I believed her but also because the pinky tug had not come from one of the EMTs.

At presstime, the M-80 blocker stated that - after exhaustive emergency work Saturday night - her knee is not broken. We are all thankful for that. A future MRI would give more of a concrete answer to her future - at least on the track.

But you can bet that she’ll be out there somewhere in ARRG Nation regardless of her bout activity - for you can deny Suri a pair of quads in the short term, but you can’t deny Suri ARRG in the long-term.

Perhaps this image provides the best summation.

As she was wheeled out of the All-American on a stretcher, Suri reacted to the audience’s adulation like the Queen of the Mystic Krewe at Mardi Gras - smiling, waving and blowing kisses to the crowd.

Because in her mind, it wasn’t “goodbye” - it was “until she sees them again.”

And you can bet - my friends - that THAT will be real.

may-bout

ARRG ALL-STARS/ST. LUNACHIX TRAVEL TO OHIO

SATURDAY’S BATTLE FINDS LOCALS AGAINST TOP 20 TEAM

by the Grand Poobah

I’ve got a rhyme that comes with a riddle…what’s round on the end and high in the middle?

O-HI-O!

But for ARRG, their experience with their WFTDA North Central rival has been no laughing matter, punctuated by the locals’ most heartbreaking loss in franchise history.

In a back-and-forth contest that went down to the final jam (and a dramatic see-saw scoreboard conclusion), Cincinnati Roller Derby’s All-Star team - the Black Sheep - defeated the ARRG All-Stars 64-63 last Labor Day weekend.

And although the bout was non-sanctioned by the WFTDA and had no playoff implications, it did provide both cities a tremendous preview of a first round match-up at the then-upcoming 2009 WFTDA North Central Regionals.

Alas for ARRG, the heartbreak continued at the re-match, a 94-86 Cincy win that dropkicked Gateway City’s finest into the consolation bracket.

In 2010, the girls in pink and black look to issue the receipt on foreign land.

ARRG travels to the Buckeye State to battle the Cincinnati Rollergirls this Saturday, April 17 at the historic Cincinnati Gardens (2250 Seymour Avenue). In the St. Louis vs. Cincinnati double-header, the St. Lunachix (0-1) face the Silent Lambs (0-1) in the 7 pm developmental undercard while the ARRG All-Stars (1-2) battle the Black Sheep (3-1) in WFTDA-sanctioned action immediately following.

Cincinnati Rollergirls' Black Sheep

The Black Sheep continued the 2009 WFTDA North Central Regional with a fourth-place finish, which no doubt gave them inspiration into the new decade.

And it has paid off recently. The Black Sheep were a perfect 3-0 at this past weekend’s Franky Panky Tournament in Tampa Bay, FL.

Following Saturday’s opening win against the Tallahassee Rollergirls 164-55, the Black Sheep bested the WFTDA #20-ranked Dallas Derbygirls 68-66. The trifecta concluded with a 141-74 win over the host Tampa Bay Devil Darlings.

Cincy currently has the attention of the national WFTDA scene, as they sit at #16 in the most recent Power Rankings from the Derby News Network.

However, the Black Sheep’s season opener on March 27 showed that even the powerful are sometimes vulnerable.

Cincinnati was topped by #15 San Diego 129-108 in a bout that - if you asked the Black Sheep - they let slip away.

CRG's K. Lethal

Although Cincinnati held the lead at numerous stages of the bout, San Diego outscored the Black Sheep in a pivotal second-half 37-17 stretch to pick up the victory - one that was tough to take for the girls from Ohio.

The Black Sheep are multi-faceted - a true atrtribute of any Top-20 team.Jammer K. Lethal notched 37 points against San Diego while the fantastically-named Hannah Ouchocinco added 35. Also look out for perennial team leader Sadistic Sadie- a five-year CRG All-Star - who when approached by ARRG’s announce team last year prior to battle stated…”Call me whatever you want…I’m the team’s self-appointed b**ch.” (Poobah’s note: we were immediately smitten!!!)

Meanwhile, the ARRG All-Stars look to even their record after two tough losses in a row. Following a season opening victory in Memphis, back-to-back losses to Milwaukee and Atlanta have put the locals behind the proverbial 8-ball in WFTDA-sanctioned action.

The trip to Hotlanta was especially difficult - only three ARRG skaters scored double-digits while league scoring leader Starry Starry Fight was completely shut-out.

The St. Lunachix meanwhile look to avenge the franchise’s first loss ever in Evansville a few weeks back. They battle a Silent Lambs team that is anything but ripe for a shearing. The developmental squad of CRG quad-stomped the Circle City Socialites of Indianapolis 112-32 at their March season opener.

The Cincinnati Gardens will be a rockin’ for this doubleheader. For their season opener, the Gardens was packed with a reported 3,200 in attendance. This, no doubt, will potentially be the largest crowd ARRG has ever skated in front of.

But a set of visiting teams can silence a massive Cincy crowd early with a quick start. So far in 2010, one of the troubles of ARRG for both squads has been a sluggish start. This cannot happen here…not against these teams.

The troops need to be motivated for this one. One small misstep early could potentially lead to a very long night. Conversely, dominance out of the gates leads to confidence and control down the stretch.

An infamous Buckeye - noted philosopher/musician Gerald V. Casale - once stated to the Poobah while sharing drinks in a Cleveland bar: “there’s no time for later…for later is now.”

And now - rather than later - is the time to turn it around.

A travel tip from Archie: Click on the picture of WLWT Meteorologist (and avid rollerblader!) Valerie Abati for the latest Cincinnati weather information…as propelled by - and I cannot make this up - “The Power of 5 Radar Network.”

When not pondering why Valerie Abati prefers “inlines” to “quads”…The Grand Poobah and Hells LaBelle are bout announcers for the 2010 season of the Arch Rival Rollergirls. Check back in this section on Mondays for the latest in ARRG news and information.

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March 29th, 2010 | Posted in Bouts, Charity, Recap

ST. LUNACHIX FALL IN EVANSVILLE

DEFEAT TO DOLLS RESULTS IN FRANCHISE’S FIRST “L”

by The Grand Poobah

(EVANSVILLE, IN) All good streaks must inevitably come to an end.

For the St. Lunachix - ARRG’s developmental team - that end came on Saturday night as the St. Louis contingent fell to the Dynamite Dolls 121-74 at the Evansville Coliseum in front of a sold-out crowd.

The loss for the St. Lunachix, who were 5-0 in 2009, was the first-ever in franchise history, which began organized play in 2008.

The Dolls, the all-star team of Demolition City Roller Derby, jumped out to an overwhelming start to take a 68-24 halftime lead. Evansville outscored the Chix 53-50 in the second half to improve to 3-0 on the season.

The St. Lunachix (0-1) return to action on Saturday, April 17 against the Silent Lambs, the developmental team of the Cincinnati Rollergirls. The St.Louis/Cincy doubleheader, which features the Chix vs. Lambs in the undercard and the ARRG All-Stars vs. the CRG Black Sheep in the main event, will take place at the historic Cincinnati Gardens. april-bout

ARRG/ZOMBIE SQUAD TEAM UP FOR BLOOD DRIVE SATURDAY

Here in ARRG Nation, we love our fans!

And from time-to-time, we like to do our best to give back to the community that’s been so generous to us, such as fundraising for local non-profits like Youth In Need, Heat Up-St. Louis and Make-A-Wish.

This weekend, the ladies are participating in another public event that helps the community.

The Arch Rival Roller Girls, along with the St. Louis chapter of the Zombie Squad, are conducting a blood drive in St. Louis this Saturday.

Here’s the details:

DATE: Saturday, April 3

TIME: 11 AM - 4 PM

WHERE: Police Association Hall, 3710 Hampton Ave., St. Louis, MO

For those of you who have donated blood, you are well familiar with the set-up and procedures for donation.

But here’s some temptation in order for you to come out to the ZS/ARRG blood drive…

Free BBQ and Zombie movies!

There….I’ve convinced you.

The good folks of the Zombie Squad are providing complimentary refreshments, including BBQ, at no cost to donors.

And if that wasn’t enough to get you into the true spirit of the proceedings, zombie movies will play throughout the drive!

Now if this didn’t provide enough encouragement to you to show up, then let’s get to the specifics of why it’s important for you to donate blood…it’s because most people don’t.

According to the American Red Cross, only 38% of people in America are eligible to donate blood. And out of that 38%, only 8% actually do. That amounts to only three out of every 100 people.

With low numbers like that, every donation is crucial. Come out and support this important cause!

ARRG 2010 STATISTICAL LEADERS (through three bouts)

POINTS

Starry Starry Fight (Stunt Devils) 119
Artemischief (Stunt Devils) 78
The Educator (Smashinistas) 64
Punches Pileup (Smashinistas) 45
Black Market Baby (M-80s) 39
Joanie Rollmoan (M-80s) 38
Enya Nightmare (M-80s) 29
Morgan LaFaetal (Stunt Devils) 29
Downtown Dallis (Smashinistas) 28
South City Shiner (Stunt Devils) 22

Poobah’s take: Starry’s 77-point performance against the M-80s in bout one was the major contributing factor for her league scoring lead. But Artemischief, last year’s league scoring champion, can make up ground quickly with two Stunts’ bouts remaining. Nice Smashie one-two punch by Educator and Pileup, both scores a result of personal bests. BMB has the early lead for ARRG Rookie of the Year due to impressive scoring. Nightmare’s tally is a result of only one bout - expect this to rise dramatically. Rollmoan, LaFaetal and Dallis are also newcomers to the rankings. Shiner, shut out in bout one, could quietly jump up as the season progresses.

LEADS JAMS

Starry Starry Fight (Stunt Devils) 17
The Educator (Smashinistas) 14
Punches Pileup (Smashinistas) 11
Artemischief (Stunt Devils) 11
Nikki Vixxen (M-80s) 10

Poobah’s take: It should be noted that stats like these are the result of the hard work of the blockers and pivots, who lay down the foundation for scoring opportunities to happen. Starry - if you asked her - would give credit to pivot Mayor Francis Slayer, blockers Grave Danger and Deathica Steele, and a host of other Stunts for the opportunity to collect lead jammer status. Educator was quick out of the gates in bout three and posted ten lead jams.

MINOR PENALTIES

Ana Warpath (M-80s) 28
Jack U Up (M-80s) 21
Black Market Baby (M-80s) 16
Grave Danger (Stunt Devils) 16
Domme E. Nation (Stunt Devils) 15

Poobah’s take: This category can be somewhat misleading. It is not an indicator of undiscipline play, but a mere reflection of the physical nature of the sport. As a whole, minor penalties have dropped significantly for the league in 2010.

(Statistics courtesy of ARRG - Thank you to the ARRG skating and non-skating officals for their continued contributions to the league - which consists of some pretty thorough number crunching on a regular basis.)

COMING UP NEXT MONDAY IN THE NEWS SECTION: The Stunt Devils look to clinch a championship bout berth in a re-match with the M-80s. However, the firecrackers on quads have new skaters to bring to the dance - including ANOTHER UNRETIRED ARRG ALL-STAR WHICH COULD POTENTIALLY TURN THE LEAGUE UPSIDE DOWN. Hells LaBelle brings you a bout preview!

standings-after-three1

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SEEDED #8 IN N. CENTRAL REGIONAL, FACES #9 NAPTOWN

ARRG “GIVES BACK” TO ST. LOUIS!

COMMUNITY OUTREACH EFFORTS SHINE IN 2010

YOUTH IN NEED - $3,425.75 RAISED!

SUSAN G. KOMEN RACE FOR THE CURE - $1,595 RAISED!

MAKE-A-WISH “WALK FOR WISHES” - $1,081 RAISED!

HEAT UP ST. LOUIS - HARDEE’S RISE AND SHINE

ZOMBIE SQUAD RED CROSS BLOOD DRIVE

GOOD GOLLY! HERE’S A UNICORN NAMED MOLLY!

OH S@!# PHOTOGRAPHIC MOMENT

BEST SKATER NAME

BEST HELMET

MRS. BLACKWELL’S BEST UNIFORM

BEST USE OF ACCESSORIES

BEST NUMERICAL INDENTIFICATION

“MIEUX PARLER FRANCAIS”

WATCH OUT AWARD

BEST LIP SERVICE

MOMENT OF HEART AWARD

MOST IMPOSING ENTOURAGE

BEST NON-SKATING MOMENT OF 2010

SECOND HALF EXPLOSION LEADS TO 2010 ARRG TITLE

UNOFFICIAL SCORING

SATURDAY NOTES FROM THE POOBAH

SQUADS FACE EACHOTHER AGAIN AT JULY’S TITLE BOUT

UNOFFICIAL SCORING

NOTES FROM THE POOBAH

TICKETS AVAILABLE NOW FOR THE CHAMPIONSHIP BOUT ONLINE

ARRG TO PARTICPATE AT PRIDEFEST THIS SUNDAY

127-75 WIN NETS LOCALS THIRD WIN IN FOUR BOUTS

ST. LUNACHIX UPENDED BY DEMOLITION CITY

EVANSVILLE KEEPS RECORD PERFECT

SATURDAY NOTES FROM THE POOBAH

ARRG NEW “C” TEAM DEBUTS THIS SATURDAY

ST. CHUX DERBY CHIX HOST ST. LOUIS’ NEWEST RECRUITS

ARRG’S FINAL SPRINT THIS WEEK FOR “RACE FOR THE CURE”

107-67 FINAL RESULTS IN TITLE BOUT TURNABOUT

SATURDAY NOTES FROM THE POOBAH

ST. LUNACHIX ON THE ROAD THIS WEEKEND!

ARRG TO PARTICPATE IN MACKLIND DAYS THIS WEEKEND!

ARRG TEAM SET TO “RACE FOR THE CURE” IN JUNE

GATEKEEPERS RUNNERS-UP AT SPRING ROLL

REMATCH HAS POST-SEASON IMPLICATIONS

ARRG ALL-STARS MOBBED BY MUSIC CITY

ARRG TEAM SET TO “RACE FOR THE CURE” IN JUNE

REPORTED 3,100 ON HAND TO WATCH LOCALS IN OHIO

CRG BLACK SHEEP 134 ARRG ALL-STARS 68

ARRG ST. LUNACHIX 89 CRG SILENT LAMBS 39

INJURY UPDATE: SURI O’ KILLER

LEAGUE LEADERS POST 76 SECOND HALF POINTS VS. M-80s

UNOFFICIAL SCORING

SATURDAY NOTES FROM THE POOBAH

IN POOBAH’S CORNER: IS IT REAL?

ARRG ALL-STARS/ST. LUNACHIX TRAVEL TO OHIO

SATURDAY’S BATTLE FINDS LOCALS AGAINST TOP 20 TEAM

DEFEAT TO DOLLS RESULTS IN FRANCHISE’S FIRST “L”

ARRG/ZOMBIE SQUAD TEAM UP FOR BLOOD DRIVE SATURDAY

ARRG 2010 STATISTICAL LEADERS (through three bouts)

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