ARRG ALL-STARS PROVE YAPPER WRONG AT BREWHAHA!

by Muckety Muck, ARRG Bout Co-Announcer – Photos by Bob Dunnell

The following opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of the author. They are not the opinions of the Arch Rival Roller Girls.

This coming weekend, this derby yapper gets to place another candle on the top layer of his annual birthday cake. But instead of offering warm fuzzies, perhaps you should be genuinely concerned for the Muckster.

For starters, my cake will now sport enough waxed wicks to break fire codes in numerous municipalities. In fact, one could suggest that it would be much, much safer to bake two separate confections, distribute the candles evenly and minimize the risk of the celebrant torching himself.

More importantly for this birthday boy, a year older does not necessarily mean that he became wiser.

In fact, most recently, I became fully aware that I’m not as smart as I think I am sometimes.

First a little background. Back in March of this year, my good friend Inspector Muffin, the voice of the Ohio Roller Girls, christened his self-created website that contains previews, recaps and features involving his respective league. It also contains personal reflections from his journeys in the derby world.

In its initial launch, he asked for feedback from his announcing brothers and was open to any constructive ideas that would give his website, as they would say in the social media world, “traction.”

I suggested that maybe it would be “kewl” if a constant group of derby announcers would make weekly predictions on sanctioned bouts in the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA). This concept wasn’t new. A website called “Roller Derby Inside Track” had done something similar in the past, but they had discontinued the feature in 2011.

In the “RDIT” picks, the panelists had just solely picked winners. I suggested to the Inspector that in this newly-created version of the “Chatterbox Pick ‘Ems,” the forecasters should go in-depth as to why certain favorites were chosen, thus, giving the selections more weight.

To get the ball rolling, and since it was my hair-brained scheme, I gladly raised my hand to Muffin and said I’d volunteer in the weekly soothsaying. Canadian derby announcer Captain Lou El Bammo and Ohio-based voice Kent the Politician were recruited to complete the “core four” of panelists. A weekly guest picker would also be added to the mix to provide a little outside flavor.

And away we went. I perused the offerings and made picks. Some were certainly easier than others. It’s been an enriching experience overall. I now have to analytically look at leagues based in cities as massive as New York City, New York (population 8.245 million) and as miniscule as Bemidji, Minnesota (population 12,073.)

I look at bouts with a critical eye and use my head instead of my heart when casting decisions.

By researching leagues internationally in 2013, I figured that this fortune-telling contest would personally become a part of my overall derby…eh…edumucation. Not bad for a guy who was on academic probation his freshman year of college for foregoing textbooks and, instead, improving his skill set in the game of “Quarters.”

Locally when it came to picks involving the Arch Rival Roller Girls’ All-Stars travel squad, I nailed wins over playoff perennials Kansas City in April and Ohio in May, thus, adding to my winning percentage.

But a mid-May misfire of choosing ARRG over a much-stronger Naptown team made me take a step back and question…was I putting my personal league affiliation in front of a critical decision?

This was riding heavily on my mind as the “Pick ‘Ems” panel approached Midwest Brewhaha 2013 in late May. In an unprecedented move, the panelists decided to pick favorites in all twenty WFTDA-sanctioned bouts that were being held that weekend. Yep, all twenty.

The ARRG All-Stars had two bouts lined up at Brewhaha in Milwaukee. The first, against a struggling Pikes Peak squad, provided to be a no-brainer for all involved. Arch easily over PPDG voted all five Amazing Kreskins.

The second match-up involving your locals was much more difficult. Arch Rival, currently ranked #13 internationally in the WFTDA, versus #16 Detroit. I had seen personally how Motown went on a push at the 2012 North Central region playoff and finish fifth, which were three positions higher than what the St. Louisians had finished at the same event.  Plus, Detroit kept the differential tighter earlier this season against Naptown than what Arch Rival had posted in mid-May.

I internally struggled and changed my winner of the Arch Rival vs. Detroit bout approximately fifteen times prior to ballot submission, all based on critical analysis.

But then, in a stroke of elderly foolishness, I thought to myself, “What if I went against the grain and purposely chose against Arch Rival in order to give the league a little extra incentive for victory?”

In my mind, a vote for Detroit would certainly give Inspector Muffin’s website the “traction” he sought…and perhaps gave a little “oomph” to ARRG.

To add to my pre-meditated scheme, I intentionally picked Detroit as a “team to watch” at Brewhaha, especially in its match-up against Arch Rival.

A selection from my writings that week on the website contained the following projection:

“Sunday’s revenge match against Arch Rival is pivotal, so much so that I’m nervously picking them to win. Yeah, when the Muckster picks against his home league, you know someone’s out to make a statement. I sense that Detroit sends a strong message at Brewhaha: ”We are most certainly back…now Honey Suckit!””

For those outside of the loop, Honey Suckit skates for Detroit and she’s really good at what she does. In my Brewhaha dissertation, her name provided the exclamation point.

To seal the deal, a giant Detroit Derby Girls’ logo was placed in the column below my boonie-hatted mug shot, signifying a win for Motown over St. Louis.

As one would expect with an announcer picking against his home league, the Facebook feedback was swift.

“Ooohhh, you’re in trouble,” said a retired ARRG skater now living in Texas. “Seriously?” replied a current member of the All-Stars. “What the Muck?” added a teammate.

By golly, I had successfully done it! Traction, baby! Extra page views for the Inspector and raised emotions from my home league with reverse psychology. The WWE’s Vince McMahon would have been proud!

The ARRG vs. Pikes Peak bout at Brewhaha Friday went as projected. Arch Rival 441, Pikes Peak 95.

Then the Sunday Brewhaha bout against Detroit arrived, a bout I had to call online. With the grace of a flat-foot floogie with a floy floy, I keester-wrestled an uncooperative US Cellular Arena folding chair and took my spot at the announcers’ table for the web stream call on “WFTDA.tv Presents,” which was, unfortunately for me, located mere inches away from the Arch Rival bench.

From the get-go, I knew I would be hounded. One ARRG skater gave me the “thumb slash across the throat.” Another gave me the “Eye Am Watching You” gesture with two fingers.

My ARRG co-announcing partner Magilla Guerilla, who was positioned at the same table and announcing the bout in-house, scooted his chair further away from me as the glares continued. I don’t blame him at all. Figuratively, and perhaps to the league literally with my intentional vote of no confidence, I was Public Enemy #1.

I’ll take the self-inflicted heat, I thought to myself. If the skaters from the “Show-Me State” wanted to prove me and the derby universe wrong, then here was the golden opportunity to do it on a large stage.

The action was fast from the onset. Detroit posted an early 12-3 lead. A power jam for Arch Rival flipped the scoreboard to 17-12 in favor of the St. Louisians.

Thanks to Detroit penalties, Arch Rival stretched the margin to 35-15.

And then the Missourian lead widened. 53-24 Arch with 13:14 left in the period. Then 62-24 one minute later. Then 89-37. Then 99-44.

When the differential stretched to fifty points, it literally dawned upon me…this Arch Rival team needed no pre-meditated coercion at all, from myself or anyone else. My pre-Brewhaha cause of worry was being subsided, jam by jam.  This squad was performing well beyond what many had projected.

Long-time ARRG veterans were showing their dominance in positional blocking. Teamwork was being executed properly. Role players were handling their designated responsibilities flawlessly. Penalties were minimal. Drawing penalties on the opposition were causing the gap to widen.

The Arch Rival onslaught continued as the bout progressed. 139-87 with 20:00 left in the second half. 167-90 midway through the frame.

While I maintained my “poker face” and remained unbiased in my web stream call by praising positive Detroit moments, I will admit that I was beaming with pride inside. To my left, Guerilla knew his home league was in the driver’s seat, yet kept it professional as well.

When the bout ended, the scoreboard displayed Arch Rival 216, Detroit 138.

It was a victory for the St. Louisians, and consequently, a setback for my prognostication percentage. It served me right.  The Arch Rival win derailed my ego…because I had doubted the league I yapped for, even though I shouldn’t have.

I didn’t stick around after the bout to receive a round of “told you so’s” from the Arch Rival skaters. Guerilla and I had to take off in the Muckster’s truckster and head back home after a weary weekend in Milwaukee.

But I knew that I would inevitably get my come-uppance upon my return. One of the ARRG skaters sent me a friendly jab online.

“So happy we could make you proud,” she said. “And prove you wrong.”

My time under the life-long learning tree ends this way. For his birthday celebration this weekend, instead of cake, this Gateway City derby yapper will chomp down on a huge slice of humble pie. I have no problem with that. After all, the calories are significantly less than my preferred “7-UP Pound Cake.”

But more importantly, as this grizzled grey beard turn one year older, he stumbled upon a valuable lesson.

No matter what the rationale or intention, never bet against your home league ever again.

However, there is a home bout against #10 Minnesota on August 10.

As Fred Flintstone would say,”Yyooohh, boyyy.”

NEXT WEEK IN THE ARRG NEWSCENTER: The ARRG All-Stars return to action at Midwest Sport Hockey on June 28. They’ll be in a WFTDA-sanctioned bout against a squad that’s projected to make the 2013 WFTDA Division 1 playoff tournament. The Floridians they face have posted impressive wins and would love nothing more than to play spoiler and bust up ARRG’s undefeated streak at Queeny Park. Next week, we’ll preview ARRG’s battle against Jacksonville!

Muckety Muck and Magilla Guerilla are bout co-announcers for the Arch Rival Roller Girls. Check back in this section on Mondays for the latest in ARRG news/information.

FLOWER POWER PREVAILS IN 192-164 WIN FOR ARRG!

By Magilla Guerilla, ARRG Bout Co-Announcer – Photos by Bob Dunnell

(ST. PETERS, MO) The travel season for the Arch Rival Roller Girls continued to roll along Saturday night as the league’s “c-team” developmental squad, the Fleur De-Linquents, took a brief road-trip west and posted a 192-164 win over the St. Chux Derby Chix Hells Belles at Matteson Square Garden.

This was a re-match of a bout that took place the year prior, with the “b-team” of SC/DC earning an easy victory in 2012.

Saturday’s bout was decided by the team that took the biggest advantage while on the power jam and a crucial second-half tactical decision with a skater’s position. It also involved one squad that never trailed in the bout until several jams into the second period.

Wearing their red home jerseys, SC/DC didn’t hesitate to draw first blood against their sisters from St. Louis and utilized an early power jam and effective blocking to open up a very quick 28-3 lead three jams into the contest.

Rookie SC/DC jammer Jedi Knightengale opened eyes early and often as she made an immediate impact in the bout with a 23-point power jam. She paced all jammers with a 42-point first half and was a puzzle ARRG struggled to solve all night long, ending the bout with 72 of her team’s 164 points scored.

The home team continued to hold the De-Linquents at arm’s length during the first half and jammer penalties plagued any attempt for the skaters from Arch Rival from digging into their deficit.

However, a late first-half run of points by ARRG chipped into the lead as Molecular Mayhem tossed out a 13-point jam and after a star pass and then a traditional jam, Ida the Living Dead added an additional 11 points for her team.

The late surge brought the De-Linquents to within five points of the home team, with the score 77-72 in favor of the SC/DC Hells Belles at intermission. For Arch Rival, the late first-half decision to shift Ida the Living Dead from blocker/pivot to jammer proved to be a tactical choice that greatly impacted the results of the second period.

The second half featured a strong, early outburst of points from FDL jammer Chokehold Chanel, who worked very hard in the first half, but was not able to capitalize with significant scoring.  That was not the case after the half and she urged on her team’s comeback effort with early jams of 12 and 10 points, respectively, which provided Arch Rival its first lead of the contest.

Both sides dug in deep with their blockers and while standout SC/DC blockers Pixie Dustruction, Scarlett Get-her and June Cleavage did their best, there was no stopping the onslaught from ARRG’s Ida the Living Dead in the second half as she scored 65 points in the frame with a combination of power and even-strength jams.

By forcing jammer penalties and tightening up their own defense, Arch Rival scored 120 second-half points and the blocking of Party Rockher, Cloak n Dragher, Stray Touhell, Shacgyver, Eveready, Vendetta Van Go, Shear Ra Powers and a host of others relentlessly battered the SC/DC star bearers and really imposed their will on the home team.

After losing the lead, the mother/daughter combo of Grey Goose O’ Flyen and Drinkerbell helped their team regain the lead with a combined 38 points on three jams, but it would prove to be not enough for the ladies of St. Charles.

With less than 10:00 to go in the bout and Arch Rival down by just six points, Ida the Living Dead scored a 29 point power jam that handed the lead to the FDLs, a lead they never relinquished.

With a late penalty against their jammer on the second to last jam, SC/DC ran out of time for an additional push. A final effort by the Hells Belles’ Drinkerbell ended up in a scoreless lead jam as time expired and the jam was called off.

It was official. Despite being down early and never leading until the second half, the Fleur De-Linquents had stormed back with a solid 192-164 victory over the SC/DC Hells Belles.

The FDLs (2-0) next take the track during the weekend of June 29th as they participate in the Midwest Derby Fest double-elimination tournament in Lebanon, MO.

There is even an outside chance, depending on the outcome of the brackets, that they could meet SC/DC once again, although that league re-match would be against their “Pack in Black” All-Star squad.

UNOFFICIAL SCORING:

ARRG FLEUR DE-LINQUENTS (192): Ida the Living Dead 76, Molecular Mayhem 42, Chokehold Chanel 32, Warpath O’Jen 28, Shear Ra Powers 14

SC/DC HELLS BELLES (164): Jedi Knightengale 72, Drinkerbell 43, Grey Goose O’Flyen 37, Pixie Dustruction 10, Jane Error 2

The main event of Saturday’s double header featured a “mixed-gender exhibition” between “Team Extreme” and a local group of skaters calling themselves “Fleur De Lethal.”  The local group was composed of skaters from the Arch Rival Roller Girls, SC/DC’s “Pack in Black” and the STL Gatekeepers men’s derby franchise. “Team Extreme” featured St. Louisian standouts from both ARRG and the Gatekeepers, along with skaters from the Oklahoma Victory Dolls, Gotham, Brew City, Kansas City and Your Mom Men’s Derby.

A tightly-contested, defensive start from both sides and an early lead for “Team Extreme” was answered by a late first-half barrage of power jam points that continued into the second half and the locals from “Fleur De Lethal” cruised to a 227-115 victory, assuring everything was coming up roses for the St. Louis’ fans in attendance.

Magilla Guerilla and Muckety Muck are bout co-announcers for the Arch Rival Roller Girls. Check back in this section on Mondays for the latest in ARRG news/information.

ALL-STARS IMPRESSIVELY SWEEP, LUNACHIX GO 2-1!

by Muckety Muck, ARRG Bout Co-Announcer

(MILWAUKEE, WI) The primary travel teams of the Arch Rival Roller Girls won four of five bouts at Midwest Brewhaha 2013 this past weekend at US Cellular Arena in downtown Milwaukee.

The ARRG All-Stars, ranked #13 in the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association, swept both their bouts while the Saint Lunachix finished 2-1 at the three-day event.

On Friday, the ARRG All-Stars posted a 441-95 victory over #59 Pikes Peak. The 441 points collected set a new league benchmark for most points scored in a WFTDA-sanctioned bout. It also marked the first time that Arch Rival had scored over 400 points in a bout.

On Sunday, the ARRG All-Stars outmuscled #16 Detroit 216-138, completing the sweep. The pair of wins improved the Arch Rival’s A-team record to 8-2.

For the Saint Lunachix, ARRG’s b-team, the weekend began with a 251-153 victory over the Brewcity Bruisers Battlestars. The 98-point win pushed their historical record over the Milwaukee-based b-team to 3-0.

In the Saturday session, the Lunachix fell to Windy City Rollers’ Second Wind, 252-185, in the inaugural match-up between the two leagues.

On Sunday, the Chix rebounded and defeated the Detroit Derby Girls Disassembly Line, 302-145. The second victory of 2013 over the Motown b-team improved ARRG’s b-team record to 7-3.

 

ALL-STARS, LUNACHIX FACE TOUGH FOES AT MILWAUKEE!

by Muckety Muck, ARRG Bout Co-Announcer

The primary travel squads of the Arch Rival Roller Girls put the finishing touches on a very productive May with a weekend trip to the Badger State for arguably the best yearly, flat-track invitational in the Midwest.

Both the Arch Rival All-Stars and the Saint Lunachix will participate at fourth-annual Midwest Brewhaha, hosted by the Brewcity Bruisers, this Friday through Sunday at US Cellular Arena in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

The three-day, two-track event will host 34 bouts and feature 25 teams from all over the US and Canada. A-teams, B-teams, men’s teams and junior derby squads will compete during the weekend.

(Muckety Memo: Midwest Brewhaha event will have LIVE online coverage of all the bouts at no cost to viewers. Go to THIS LINK RIGHT HERE later in the week to see the webcast schedule.)

ARRG has sent teams to all three prior Brewhahas and each respectively have had their fair share of success at the invitational.

The All-Stars have a historical record of 6-1 at Brewhaha, which includes a two-bout sweep last year over Detroit and Cincinnati. The Saint Lunachix are 2-2 at the event in its two-year appearance.

A preview of the ARRG teams this weekend at Midwest Brewhaha:

ARRG ALL-STARS – WFTDA #13 – CURRENT RECORD: 6-2

FRIDAY, MAY 31 2:15 PM   VS. PIKES PEAK (WFTDA #59)

Friday’s opening bout on Track #2 should be a good primer for the locals. Pikes Peak, currently 1-1 in WFTDA-sanctioned bouts and #59 in the WFTDA, finished the 2012 season as the fourteenth-ranked team in the East Region of the WFTDA.

After posting a 358-81 February victory over Arkansas Valley (WFTDA #115), the Colorado Springs league dropped a non-sanctioned bout to Rocky Mountain (WFTDA #8). I won’t tell you what the final was in that bout. Let’s just say it wasn’t pretty.

Earlier this month, Pikes Peak was thumped 350-50 by No Coast (WFTDA #25). This is the same No Coast team that snatched a three-point win over Arch Rival in March.

If one looks at this match-up on paper, this bout should overwhelmingly favor the ARRG All-Stars. In the new complexion of the WFTDA rankings system, anything less than a 200-point win would be considered a disappointment for ARRG.

That being said, Pikes Peak is a game competitor. Veteran jammers Pepper Slay. Audi My Way and Kamilla Bloodspilla will pace the scoring. Longtime blockers Cherry Springer, Cat Black N’ Ballou, Destiny Blaze, Moxie Mallicious and Rushin’ Bride as well as pivot Slaughter Than Hell will set up the foundation.

There are a lot of additions to this season’s Pikes Peak charter and all will be looking to get some valuable experience in the bout.

The ARRG All-Stars won the only prior match-up between the two leagues. St. Louis posted a `155-101 road win in Colorado on March 19, 2011.

SUNDAY, JUNE 2  12:30 PM  VS. DETROIT (WFTDA #16)

Now onto the match-up that carries a lot more weight and intrigue.

When Arch Rival posted a 186-130 victory over Detroit at last year’s Brewhaha, it was arguably the biggest win for St. Louis to date. The league had never beaten Detroit historically and had never conquered a fourth-ranked team in the North Central region. As a result, the 56-point win shook up the foundation of the region’s hierarchy.

The timing was perfect for the upset at the time. It was the first bout for Detroit in 2012 and Arch Rival already had numerous bouts in hand. Detroit was also in the process of reloading its line-up due to numerous retirements.

Detroit inevitably finished fifth in the 2012 WFTDA North Central playoffs and built the foundation for a future hard charge.

The travel season started earlier this year for Detroit and the results have been impressive. Motown currently sports a 3-1 record. They started the season with a 295-154 February win over Brewcity (WFTDA #36) and followed that in March with a 1-point win over Steel City (WFTDA #22).

A 36-point road setback to Naptown (WFTDA #18) in April resulted in its one lone blemish on the ledger thus far. Detroit rebounded with a 357-77 win over Tallahassee (WFTDA #46) on May 10 to up its mark to 3-1.

As projected, the 2013 version of the Detroit Derby Girls is a very dangerous squad. With a mix of wily veterans and hard-charging youngsters, this legacy team will be looking to make a charge to the WFTDA Championships after sitting out the last two years.

Detroit veteran jammer Racer McChaseHer is the lynchpin of this talented group. Lazer Beam, Ally Sin Shoverland and Roxanna Hardplace compliment Detroit in the jamming rotation. Long-time blockers Honey Suckit, boo d. livers, Fatal Femme and a host of others will set up the foundation.

Detroit remembers the 2012 setback to Arch Rival quite well. One can expect that they will be more than motivated to knock off the league that sits three spots higher on the WFTDA totem pole.

ARRG SAINT LUNACHIX – CURRENT RECORD: 5-2

FRIDAY, MAY 31  5:45 PM  VS. BREWCITY BATTLESTARS

In a neat twist, this will be the undercard to the main event of Friday’s action at Brewhaha. As a result, the Lunachix will have to stave Motown’s b-team homecoming.

Brewcity’s Battlestars are currently undefeated heading into Brewhaha. Their 5-0 record includes wins over the b-teams of No Coast (131-126), Omaha (137-119) and Killamazoo (242-89). They also have wins over the A-squads of Fox Cityz (WFTDA #153) and Ann Arbor (unranked.)

The Saint Lunachix posted a 183-113 victory over the Battlestars last June at Midwest Sport Hockey.

SATURDAY, JUNE 1  12:30 PM VS. WINDY CITY SECOND WIND

This bout will be the first-ever meeting between the two squads and should be, realistically, the b-team bout to watch this weekend.

WCR’s Second Wind rolls into Brewhaha with a 1-1 record. After falling to the A-squad of Toronto 231-170 in March, the Second Wind posted an impressive 173-98 road victory over the Naptown Warning Belles on April 27.

As to be expected for b-squads, there is a lot of turnover to the Second Wind 2013 roster. However, blockers Dinah Party and Yameet Ur Doom are long-time lynchpins and should lead the charge.

SUNDAY, JUNE 2  10:45 PM VS. DETROIT DISASSEMBLY LINE

This is the only bout for the Lunachix this weekend that doesn’t have the element of the unknown. The Lunachix faced Motown at the B-Cup Tournament in February and posted a 276-71 victory at the event’s third-place bout.

Since the February loss, the Disassembly Line (1-3) were handed a 269-59 road setback to the Naptown Warning Belles in April.

Detroit’s Catch-La-Fever will look to post points against the Chix.

Altogether, both ARRG teams will experience hard challenges throughout the weekend. They’ll have plenty of St. Louis support at US Cellular as members of the STL Gatekeepers men’s derby franchise will also be competing this weekend, the always vocal ARRG Jeerleaders will be cheering trackside and a faithful following from ARRG Nation will make the trek to represent.

The weekend, as a whole, will contain numerous match-ups that will make the “derbyverse” take notice.

A look at the other high-profile A-team match-ups this weekend:

BREWHAHA FRIDAY

DC Roller Girls vs. Mad Rollin’ Dolls: Hard-charging Madison (WFTDA #27) will look to improve on its 2-2 mark against a very capable squad from the nation’s capital (WFTDA #44). Don’t let DC’s 2-5 record fool you! All its losses have been to higher-ranked opponents, including WFTDA Top 20’s Philly and Charm City.

North Star vs. Old Capitol City: Friday’s Brewhaha event opener pits two comparable teams. North Star (WFTDA #93) is 2-1, with lopsided wins over Des Moines and Mississippi Valley. Higher-ranked Old Cap (WFTDA #69)is 2-7, which includes a pair of setbacks to the St. Chux Derby Chix. A rankings upset is ripe.

BREWHAHA SATURDAY

Windy City vs. Detroit: A Saturday afternoon treat! Windy City (WFTDA #9) faces Detroit (WFTDA #16) for the first time since August 2011. Windy City, 3-0 in sanctioned play, has posted wins over Montreal, Toronto and London. Detroit (3-1) suffered a 36-point loss to Naptown in April. Detroit has never been the Chicagoans, this might be the opportunity they’ve been craving.

Minnesota vs. Gotham: This year’s rep from the East has won the Hydra Cup the last three seasons and justifiably holds the #1 position in the current WFTDA rankings. New York’s lone sanctioned bout this season resulted in a 166-point win over Philly. When this team hits the flat-track, others watch in awe. Former Arch Rival skater Davey Blockit plays blocker for the Gotham travel charter. Minnesota (WFTDA #10) currently is 0-3 in sanctioned play. Setbacks to higher-ranked Texas, Rocky Mountain and Denver have resulted in a goose-egg in the ledger, yet this talented team is capable of hanging tough with the best.

NEO vs. Paper Valley: Two teams that you have probably never heard of before dual for a potential WFTDA post-season berth. North East Ohio (WFTDA #61) and Appleton, Wisconsin’s Paper Valley (WFTDA #63) want to make the jump into the 2013 Division 2 playoffs. The WFTDA teams ranked 41-60 in mid-July make it. The winner of this one certainly increases its respective chance.

Cincinnati vs. Arizona: ARRG’s nemesis from Cincy, blocker Sadistic Sadie, is back in the fold in 2013 and the Black Sheep (WFTDA #34) have benefitted with her return. They’re currently 6-2 after winning half a dozen straight. When Sadie plays clean, they’re very good. When she doesn’t (an ejection after jam four against Bleeding Heartland, for example), they struggle. Arizona (WFTDA #55) is 0-5, but all setbacks have been against high-competition. It’s the ‘ol “the team that plays cleanest wins” line of logic applied here.

BREWHAHA SUNDAY

Minnesota vs. Ohio: Another quality match-up for Sunday finds the hard-charging rollers from Ohio (WFTDA #20) facing the team that they competed against in its first WFTDA-sanctioned bout in November 2006. A lot has changed for both over time and one can expect and extremely competitive bout…one that realistically (in this scribe’s mind) has no projected winner.

Gotham vs. Windy City: On paper, closer that Saturday’s Gotham/Minnesota bout, but that’s little comfort for Windy City, who were thumped by New York by 165 points at last July’s “Star of Texas Bowl.”

Arizona vs. Brewcity: The Brewhaha hostesses sacrificed the main event slot on Saturday and Sunday in order to give top-billing to WFTDA “queenpin” Gotham. This might be the bout to send the local contingent home happy if they don’t want to watch the New Yorkers. Brewcity (WFTDA #36) has had an extremely busy 2013 thus far and currently sport a 4-8 record. Wins have been impressive, losses have been heartbreaking. A comparable match-up that belies rankings.

(Muckety Memo: The Brewhaha weekend features 20 WFTDA-sanctioned bouts. I and four other derby yappers make our predictions on all the A-team match-ups and look at the specific teams to watch for. Check out THIS LINK RIGHT HERE later in the week to see who we selected.)

Brewhaha should be a fun one for the derby fan and hopefully Arch Rival will collectively go 5-0 for the event. We’ll find out this weekend in Milwaukee!

NEXT MONDAY IN THE ARRG NEWSCENTER: A recap of ARRG’s Brewhaha weekend and the league’s C-team prepares for a cross-county match-up on June 8. Next week, a preview of the ARRG’s Fleur-De-Linquents  vs. St. Chux Helles Belles!

Muckety Muck and Magilla Guerilla are bout co-announcers for the Arch Rival Roller Girls. Check back in this section on Mondays for the latest in ARRG news and information.

PLUS, ALL-STARS PUMMEL DUTCHLAND AT SPRING ROLL

by Muckety Muck, ARRG Bout Co-Announcer – Photos by Bob Dunnell

(INDIANAPOLIS, IN) In a city that’s synonymous with fast-moving, wheeled objects moving in counter-clockwise fashion, the hostesses lapped St. Louis squads on Saturday and took home the checkered flag.

The travel teams of the Arch Rival Roller Girls dropped two bouts to the Naptown Roller Girls at the Indiana Convention Center in front of 1,300.

In the main event, the Naptown Tornado Sirens, ranked nineteenth in the WFTDA, overpowered #13 Arch Rival 167-108 in sanctioned action. Meanwhile in the b-team undercard, a late-sprint off of penalties helped the Naptown Warning Belles notch a 204-154 over ARRG’s Saint Lunachix.

The pair of setbacks dropped the respective records of the ARRG All-Stars and the Lunachix to 5-2.

#19 NAPTOWN 167   #13 ARCH RIVAL  108

Naptown’s 59-point trip to the winner’s circle over ARRG’s A-team boosted its sanctioned bout record to 5-0.

“I would have loved to have won by more,” said Naptown jammer Maiden America after the triumph. “I don’t care if we’re up by 15 points or if we’re up by 150 points, we want to win by more, no matter what we’re up against. It was nice that we won over a team that was ranked higher (in the WFTDA) than us. I’ll take it as a win and it will ultimately improve our ranking.”

The task was not easy as Arch Rival was game from the onset and provided plenty of hassles in the first period. Following a bout-opening trey from America, a 2-1 jam from Pushy Cat stretched Naptown’s lead to 5-1.

Then following a scoreless jam, ARRG’s Mighty Mighty Boston notched a five-pointer, resulting in a 6-5 scoreboard flip for St. Louis four minutes deep. South City Shiner added three on the next rotation to stretch the ARRG margin to 9-5 with 24:20 left in the period.

After Pushy Cat posted four to tie the score at 9-9, Arch Rival’s May Require Stitches reciprocated with four that gave St. Louis a 13-9 lead at the 21:50 mark.

Naptown surged on the next rotation as America collected a natural 14-pointer that gave the Tornado Sirens a 23-13 lead with 20:10 left in the period.

In jam nine, Arch Rival regained the lead after Pushy Cat was sent off for a track cut. A 15-point power jam for Shiner ensued and the visitors regained the advantage, 28-23 with 18:40 left in the period.

Naptown posted back-to-back four pointers from G-Rocket and America that resulted in the bout’s fourth lead change and a 31-28 advantage.

The tension, and the impact hits, was perpetually building. ARRG’s blocking schema of Stitches, Mayor Francis Slayer, Chewblocka, Science Friction, Grave Danger, The Educator, Shimmy Hoffa and Smarty McFly went toe-stop-to-toe-stop with Circle City’s finest.

A 0-0 stalemate in jam 12 was followed by a five-pointer from Arch Rival’s Brickyard. Another strike, another lead change. ARRG sported a 33-31 edge with 13:55 left.

Naptown responded with a methodical 17-0 rally spread across the next five jams. A lead-changing trey from America was followed by five from G-Rocket scored at 11:40 that extended the NRG lead to 39-33. A solo point from America was followed by a pair of four-pointers from Willa Hoeflinch and G-Rocket. The conclusion of the 17-point uncontested run gave Indianapolis a 48-33 lead with 8:50 left in the period.

A 7-2 strike for America in jam 19 pushed the Naptown lead to 55-35. The Tornado Sirens widened the gap to 73-35 following G-Rocket’s 18-pointer with 4:00 left in the first.

Arch Rival countered with a 23-0 rally in the waning stages of the frame thanks to Naptown penalties. A Pushy Cat track cut led to an 18-point power jam for Brickyard in the period’s penultimate jam. Boston’s five on the final rotation to whittled Naptown’s margin to 73-58 at intermission.

Boston’s second-period 4-0 launch for ARRG made the bout a nine-point affair, 73-62. The Tornado Sirens countered with a 20-0 run on the next two jams. Hoeflinch scored a 15-point power jam and America tacked a five-pointer that widened the Naptown lead to 93-62 with 25:30 remaining in the bout. A 9-9 push over the next two jams put the score at 102-71.

The Tornado Sirens posted a 28-0 rally over the next five jams to create comfort. Four from Hoeflinch was followed by a 7-0 jam from G-Rocket that extended Naptown’s lead to 113-71 with 18:30 left. America posted 10 points on the next rotation to widen the gap to 123-71.

Meanwhile Naptown’s blocking schema – paced by Asian Sinsation, Dora the Destroyer, R.I.P. Tide, Cereal Killer and a host of others – put the clamp down on any Arch Rival comeback. In the process, Hoeflinch and G-Rocket added four and three, respectively, to conclude the 28-point uncontested steak and push Naptown’s lead to 130-71 with 14:30 left.

Arch Rival tried to chip away at the deficit as the period progressed but kept finding itself stymied by Naptown’s solid defense. The Tornado Sirens put the nail in the coffin with Pushy Cat’s natural 24-pointer scored with 6:00 left that widened the lead to 165-83.

Despite a late ARRG surge that tightened the final differential, the Tornado Sirens outscored Arch Rival 94-50 in the second period to earn the 167-108 win over the squad that currently sits six positions higher in the WFTDA hierarchy.

“I think it was the teamwork,” said Naptown’s Sinsation of the win. “Arch Rival is an insanely strong team. They’re very fast on their feet, so we knew we just had to stay together.”

G-Rocket led the Tornado Sirens’ scoring ledger with 47 points.

Arch Rival, who dropped to 5-2 with the setback, was paced by Brickyard’s 33 points. Naptown chose Boston and Stitches as “MVP Jammer” and “MVP Blocker,” respectively.

UNOFFICIAL SCORING

NAPTOWN TORNADO SIRENS (167): G-Rocket 47, Pushy Cat 39, Maiden America 37, Willa Hoeflinch 34.

ARCH RIVAL ALL-STARS (108): Brickyard 33, Mighty Mighty Boston 30, South City Shiner 28, May Require Stitches 13, Smarty McFly 4.

NRG WARNING BELLES   204    ARRG SAINT LUNACHIX   154

The final differential of the b-team undercard replicated the main event, yet both teams were neck-and-neck down the stretch. A sprint by the Warning Belles late in the second period was pivotal in the 50-point win.

Lunachix jammer EnYa Nightmare began the bout with a 5-0 jam. Naptown’s Traumalina countered with a nine-point strike that gave the Warning Belles a 9-5 edge. A 3-2 jam for Honey Badger stretched the Naptown lead to 12-7 with 26:40 left in the period.

Nightmare posted a trey at 25:33 to make the bout a two-point affair, 12-10.

The Warning Belles went on a 17-0 roll with four consecutive lead jams. Eve Anne Hellical started with a nine-point strike for Naptown, extending the lead to 21-10. Then after Traumalina tacked on two, Badger added four, and Itsy Gitsi tacked on a pair of points to finish the run and extend the Naptown advantage to 29-10 with 20:45 left in the period.

Killer Painguin stopped the Chix drought by scoring seven at 20:00 to whittle the deficit to a dozen points, 29-17.

An 8-8 push on jam 10 raised the score to 37-25 in favor of Naptown.

Following Pink Diamond’s solo point at 17:40, the Warning Belles scored 20 straight. Gitsi posted eight to stretch the lead to 45-26. Hellical added 10 in jam 13 to widen the margin to 55-26. Traumalina added a pair of non-lead points with 12:00 left in the period to run the Warning Belles’ lead to 57-26.

The Lunachix powered its way back into contention with a 29-0 rally. The St. Louis blocking schema, led by Morgan LeFaetal, The Siege, The Ginger Assassin, Ginny Beastly, Megalodominator,Sp!ce Rack, Hydrogen Bombshell and a host of others, spearheaded the charge. By capitalizing on Honey Badger’s track cut penalty, Diamond shined a 14-point power jam and pulled ARRG to 57-40 with 10:58 left in the period. Nightmare added eight on the next rotation to narrow the gap to 57-48.

After a scoreless stalemate on jam 17, the Chix gained another power jam. The tandem of Diamond and Nightmare notched five and four points, respectively. The 9-0 power jam combo finished the 29-point Lunachix rally and tied the score, 57-57 with 6:03 left in the frame.

The tie was broken after a scoreless jam as Diamond collected a 4-3 non-lead strike with 4:15 left in the period that gave ARRG a 61-60 advantage. Badger scored four for the Belles on the next jam to flip the scoreboard back in favor of Naptown, 64-61. Bitsi added a 4-2 strike with 2:10 left to widen the lead to 68-63.

On the period’s penultimate jam, Pink Diamond snatched a five-pointer for the Lunachix, resulting in another tie, 68-68 with 1:00 left on the period clock.

Nightmare’s solo point for the Chix concluded first half play and ARRG held a 69-68 edge at intermission.

Naptown’s Traumalina started the second period with a four-pointer that gave the Belles’ a 72-69 lead.

The Lunachix then rolled 15 points straight. Diamond’s power jam netted 10 and Painguin followed with five to give ARRG an 84-72 advantage with 26:40 left.

Once again, tables overturned in jam four, which resulted in another lead change. Gitsi gotsi 27-pointsi via a power jamski. The 27-3 momentum shifter gave Naptown a 97-87 lead with 24:00 remaining.

A 9-8 power jam for ARRG on the next rotation narrowed the margin to 105-96. Back-to-back four-pointers from Traumalina and Badger extended the Naptown lead to 17 points, 113-96 with 19:45 left.

In jam eight, Badger gained lead jammer for Naptown and scored three, but then was sent to the box for a track cut. With the non-lead power jam, Diamond posted 20…and viola!…the bout was tied 116-116 with 16:55 left.

Painguin posted a trey on the next rotation to push the Lunachix lead to 119-116. After Badger’s solo tally narrowed the bout to two points, Gitsi followed with a four-point jam for Naptown, resulting in the bout’s ninth lead change and a 121-119 edge for the Warning Belles with 14:08 left in regulation.

An 11-3 run for Naptown over the next four extended the Belles’ lead to 132-122 with 10 minutes left.

The Warning Belles then capitalized on ARRG penalties and posted a 57-5 rally over the next four jams to pull away. Anchored by a pair of Traumalina power jams that netted 20 and 25 points, respectively, Naptown stretched the lead to 189-127 with 2:30 remaining.

The Warning Belles outscored the Lunachix 132-85 in the second period to pick up the 204-154 victory and improve to 6-3. Traumalina paced the Warning Belles with 96 points.

The Lunachix, who dropped to 5-2 with the loss, was led by Diamond’s 83 points. Naptown selected Nightmare and The Siege as “MVP Jammer” and “MVP Blocker,” respectively. The Lunachix play next at Midwest Brewhaha 2013 in Milwaukee, WI in two weeks.

UNOFFICIAL SCORING

NRG WARNING BELLES (204): Traumalina 96, Itsy Gitsi 46, Eve Anne Hellical 35, Honey Badger 39, Eve Anne Hellical 35

ARRG SAINT LUNACHIX (154): Pink Diamond 83, EnYa Nightmare 52, Killer Painguin 17, Molecular Mayhem 2

At halftime of the b-team bout, Saint Lunachix skater Stray Touhell received a special surprise from members of her family at trackside. Touhell had missed her commencement ceremony from a St. Louis university earlier in the day in order to travel with the Saint Lunachix to Indianapolis.

Think about that for a second. Bypassing an academic achievement in order to participate in something that one holds true to their heart.

Some people would have stayed at home and took the walk in order to grab the sheepskin, but not Touhell. She didn’t give it a second thought. She wanted to compete with her team.

In what could be best described, in ARRG Newscenter speak, as a “pretty damn cool moment,” Touhell’s family presented her with a special display congratulating her on receiving her undergraduate degree.

Touhell’s teammates and the 1,300 at the Indiana Convention Center deservedly gave the skater a rousing ovation.

Congratulations Touhell on your graduation and thank you for your personal sacrifice in order to support the league!

ALL-STARS FLATTEN DUTCHLAND ON SUNDAY!

by Muckety Muck – Story constructed from online footage from Hinckley Productions

(FT. WAYNE, IN)  Immediately following the setback by the ARRG All-Stars at Naptown, the team immediately carpooled up I-69 North to Fort Wayne to participate in the 2013 Spring Roll Invitational at the Allen County War Memorial Coliseum.

A two-hour commute to reflect on what went right and wrong earlier in the evening. One had a feeling that when the All-Stars faced Dutchland – ranked #43 in the current WFTDA rankings – the next day, that some pent-up frustration may be unleashed.

Oh boy, was it ever!

The ARRG All-Stars flattened Dutchland 386-53 to improve its record to 6-2. Three ARRG skaters scored triple-digits in the 333-point win.

Arch Rival went on a 27-0 rally in the first three jams to begin the onslaught. After Mighty Mighty Boston collected a nine-point bout opening jam, South City Shiner tacked on four to make the score 13-0. Brickyard scored 14 on the third jam to give ARRG a 27-0 lead with 25:55 left in the first period.

A 6-2 jam by Boston in jam four stretched the lead to 33-2 with 24:45 left in the frame.

ARRG then went on a 55-0 run over the next 10 minutes. Highlighted by a 24-point power jam by Boston at 19:50, Arch Rival pulled ahead 88-2 with 14:50 left in the period.

Dutchland made waves in jam 12 by capitalizing on a non-lead power jam. Jammer Russian Bayou notched a 20-pointer and whittled the deficit to 88-22 with 13:00 left in the period.

Then Arch Rival said “no more”…..literally. They did not allow a single Dutchland point for the remainder of the half. It culminated in a 95-0 period-ending rally. Blockers May Require Stitches, Science Friction, Mayor Francis Slayer, Grave Danger, Shimmy Hoffa, Chewblocka, Smarty McFly, The Educator and a host of others gave little to no breathing room for the jammers and blockers from Lancaster , PA.

Boston notched a 10-point power jam at 11:50 to extend the ARRG lead to 98-22. Shiner followed with a 30-point mega jam on the next rotation to push the lead to 128-22.

Meanwhile, the ARRG blocking schema maintained complete control. At halftime, Arch Rival had a 183-22 lead.

Boston kept the momentum rolling with a 25-point power jam with the second period’s opening jam to widen the lead to 208-22.

The beatdown continued as the period progressed. By the time Dutchland scored its next set of points – a two-pointer – with 23:30 left in the period, ARRG had already completed a 150-0 run.

Yeah, a jaw-dropping 150-0 run. It was that kind of a bout. ARRG had a 238-24 lead that sent some to the concession stand for a hot pretzel.

The Arch Rival offense remained hot for the remainder of the bout. Brickyard scored a 35-pointer with 10:10 left extended the lead to 315-45. A 23-pointer from Shiner with 5:45 left pushed the margin to 362-45.

Arch Rival outscored Dutchland 203-31 in the second period to pick up the win and improve to 6-2. Shiner paced ARRG with a personal best of 131 points. Brickyard and Boston added 117 and 105 points, respectively.

UNOFFICIAL SCORING

ARRG ALL-STARS (386): South City Shiner 131, Brickyard 117, Mighty Mighty Boston 105, Smart McFly 33.

NEXT WEEK IN THE NEWSCENTER: There’s a one-week respite for the league due to the Memorial Day holiday weekend, but then arguably the busiest weekend for the league occurs one week later. The ARRG All-Stars and the Lunachix compete at a high-tiered event in Milwaukee. The All-Stars compete in two bouts, one of them against a highly-ranked familiar foe from Motown. The Saint Lunachix have three games on the docket, including a first-time meeting with a hard-charging legacy b-team from Chicago. The stakes are high in a whirlwind weekend. We’ll have a preview of all of the ARRG bouts and peek at some of the other high-caliber battles. Next week, it’s our look at Midwest Brewhaha 2013!

Muckety Muck and Magilla Guerilla are bout co-announcers for the Arch Rival Roller Girls. Check back in this section on Mondays for the latest in ARRG news and information.

ALL-STARS & LUNACHIX BOTH IMPROVE TO 5-1 WITH WINS!

By Muckety Muck, ARRG Bout Co-Announcer – Story constructed via online footage provided by Bleeding Heartland Roller Girls – Photos by Bob Dunnell

(BLOOMINGTON, IN) The primary travel squads of the Arch Rival Roller Girls posted victories over the teams of the Bleeding Heartland Roller Girls Saturday night at Cardiac Arena in Bloomington.

In the main event, the ARRG All-Stars utilized a late sprint to overtake the BHRG Flatliners 251-189. In the b-team undercard, ARRG’s Saint Lunachix surged in the  second period  en route to a 237-130 victory over BHRG’s Code Blue Assassins.

With the sweep, both ARRG travel squads improved to 5-1 on the season.

By no means was either victory easy. In fact, one could argue that blood pressures were raised throughout the evening with the topsy-turvy action on the flat track.

#13 ARRG ALL-STARS 251   #41 BHRG FLATLINERS  189

After posting an impressive win over WFTDA #23 Ohio the week prior, Arch Rival felt confident heading into Saturday’s sanctioned bout against the 6-5 team that was struggling to find footing in the WFTDA rankings hierarchy.

The confidence exuded was evident in the first ten minutes of play as Arch Rival began with a 64-0 run.

Following a scoreless bout-opening jam, ARRG’s South City Shiner posted 24 points to give the locals an early advantage. All-Star addition Brickyard added ten on the next rotation to stretch the margin to 34-0. Mighty Mighty Boston followed with a 14-point score with 24:00 left in the period to widen the gap to 48-0. Then after a four-point tally by Shiner, Brickyard tacked on another dozen at 20:20 to conclude the opening rally and give the visitors a 64-0 lead.

All seemed well, but then the ARRG momentum went into what could be best described as a “cardiac arrest” and penalties overwhelmingly ensued. As a result, Bleeding Heartland capitalized, resulting in a mind-numbing, and lead-changing, 85-0 surge over the next twelve minutes.

It began with Nuck L. Sammie’s power jam that netted 15 points. Back-to-back four-pointers from BHRG’s Kaka Caliente and Terror D’ Bits whittled the ARRG lead to 64-23 with 16:45 left in the period.

Another power jam for Sammie resulted in a blistering 25 points on the next rotation, narrowing the gap to 64-48. Caliente tacked on nine in the eleventh jam, drawing the Flatliners to 64-57. Another ARRG jammer track cut gave the host squad another power jam. D’ Bits scored 18…and poof…the early 64-point Arch Rival lead was erased…and then some! The Flatliners now possessed a 75-64 lead with 10:40 left in the period.

Sammie tacked on an additional 10-pointer on the next rotation to stretch the BHRG lead to 85-64 with 9:40 left.

Arch Rival chipped away at the BHRG lead as the period continued. Brickyard notched a 10-0 jam at 6:40 to pull the visitors to 85-74. Boston followed with a trey to narrow the gap to eight points, 85-77.

A 10-2 run for Bleeding Heartland over the next three jams provided a little breathing room. Following D’ Bits’ three-point strike on the period’s penultimate jam, the Flatliners maintained a 95-79 lead with 2:00 left.

ARRG regained the lead during the period’s final rotation, thanks to BHRG penalties. Via a power jam, Shiner collected a dizzying 25 points that helped St. Louis sport a 104-95 lead at intermission.

The nine-point buffer at the break was immediately broken with the first jam of the second period. Via a power jam, Caliente notched a 19-pointer that gave the Flatliners a 114-104 lead.

Arch Rival responded with a 28-0 run. Following a trey from Brickyard, Boston scored 25 via a power jam, resulting a 132-114 lead change for ARRG with 23:40 left in the bout.

In jam five, Shiner gained lead jammer for ARRG and scored seven, but then was sent off for a track cut. BHRG’s Caliente scored a non-lead 15-pointer with the power jam, whittling ARRG’s lead to 139-129 with 20:45 left.

The Flatliners’ Sammie then scored four on the next rotation to narrow the gap to 139-133 with 20:10 left. Then following an extended officials’ time out, a scoreboard re-adjustment added an additional 10 points to the column of Bleeding Heartland, resulting in another lead change and a 143-139 lead for the Flatliners.

Arch Rival’s Brickyard scored four on the next jam, which continued the trend of back-and-forth action, which now showed the scoreboard illuminating a 143-143 tie.

ARRG pivot May Require Stitches, in her first jam of the evening, notched a 4-2 jam with 17:45 left that broke the stalemate and gave Arch Rival a 147-145 lead. BHRG’s Sammie collected five with 16:55 left to regain the lead for the Flatliners, 150-147.

Arch Rival then posted a 52-0 rally over the next four jams to retake the lead and pull ahead. After Shiner posted 14 that resulted in a 161-150 lead change for Arch Rival, Brickyard collected a 30-point power jam with 12:15 left that widened the margin to 191-150.

Boston collected four non-lead points on the next rotation to stretch the lead to 195-150 and Shiner added another four to finish the rally and extend ARRG’s lead to 199-150 with ten minutes left in regulation.

The Flatliners found a pulse down the stretch and posted 33 points straight. Back-to-back power jams for D’ Bits and Caliente netted 19 and 14 points, respectively, and narrowed the ARRG lead to 199-183 with 6:20 left in the bout.

ARRG saved its best for last which “mainlined” the Flatliners. Paced by the blocking of the aforementioned Stitches, Chewblocka, Rhino-Might, Mayor Francis Slayer, Grave Danger, Science Friction, Shimmy Hoffa and a host of others, Arch Rival concluded the bout with a 52-6 run. Punctuated by a 30-point power jam by Boston scored with 4:00 left, ARRG widened the differential and posted a 251-189 nail-biting victory over Bleeding Heartland to net its third consecutive win.

UNOFFICIAL SCORING

ARCH RIVAL ALL-STARS (251): South City Shiner 92, Brickyard 79, Mighty Mighty Boston 76, May Require Stitches 4

BLEEDING HEARTLAND FLATLINERS (189): Nuck L. Sammie 76, Kaka Caliente 67, Terror D’ Bits 46.

ARRG SAINT LUNACHIX  237  BHRG CODE BLUE ASSASSINS 130

Although the winning differential was substantially larger than their A-team sistren, the Saint Lunachix definitely had its hand full with the scrappy Code Blue Assassins.

The Chix took an 19-0 lead after the first two jams with nine scored from EnYa Nightmare, followed by ten from Shear-Ra Powers.

The CBAs responded with a 8-0 jam from Knitty Gritty to narrow the Chix lead to 19-8 with 24:45 left in the first half.

ARRG’s Molecular Mayhem responded with 19 points on a power jam on the next rotation that extended the Chix lead to 38-8.

BHRG’s Bipolar Curves scored a baker’s dozen in jam five that whittled the Chix lead to 38-21 with 20:05 left in the period.

The Lunachix stretched the lead to 63-28 midway through the frame. BHRG’s Dare E. Eryn scored a 12-0 jam with 11:40 left to pull the CBAs to 64-30.

ARRG’s Powers added nine and Killer Painguin posted three over the next two rotations to extend the Chix lead to 75-40 with 8:40 left in the period.

The CBAs chomped into the lead as the minutes waned. BHRG’s Curves scored a 14-point power jam with 5:00 left in the period to narrow the Lunachix lead to 76-56.

Then after a 3-3 push in the next rotation to make the score 79-56, the CBAs’ Goldilock Stock n’ Barrel netted 15 via a power jam to close the gap to 79-74 with 1:25 remaining in the frame.

The Lunachix responded with a 20-point power jam from Mayhem to give the visitors a 99-74 advantage at intermission.

BHRG’s Dare E. Eryn scored four on the second half’s opening jam to cut the gap to 99-78.

The Lunachix then exploded offensively and posted 73 straight points over the next four jams. Powers began the surge with a 15-point power jam that extended the Chix lead to 114-78 with 27:30 left. Penguin followed with a natural 14-pointer that pushed the margin to 128-78. Mayhem added 20 points in jam four that extended the margin to 148-78. Nightmare concluded the 73-0 rally with a 24-point power jam that gave the Lunachix a 172-78 lead with 21:00 left in the bout.

The Chix continued to pour on the points in the second half by capitalizing on CBA penalties. Painguin’s 19-pointer scored with 16:15 left pushed the score to 192-96.

Mayhem’s nine-pointer on the next rotation gave the Chix a triple-digit lead, a 201-96 advantage with 14:10 left in bout.

The differential would be maintained for the remainder of the bout, thanks to the solid work of blockers Party Foul, Pink Diamond, The Siege, Deathica Steele, Morgan LeFaetal, The Ginger Assassin, Hydrogen Bombshell, Megalodominator, Sp!ce Rack and Professor Rumbledore.

The Saint Lunachix outscored the Code Blue Assassins in the second period 138-56 to pick up the 237-130 win and improve to 5-1 on the season.

UNOFFICIAL SCORING

ARRG SAINT LUNACHIX (237): Molecular Mayhem 94, EnYa Nightmare 55, Shear-Ra Powers 50, Killer Painguin 43.

BHRG CODE BLUE ASSASSINS (130): Bipolar Curves 24, Dare E. Eryn 24, Biscuit Cutter 21, Goldilock Stock n’ Barrel 19, Mae Kim Hurl 18, Knitty Gritty 18, Uh Huh Hurricane 3.

ARRG TRAVEL SQUADS HEAD TO NAPTOWN THIS SATURDAY!

The travel teams of the Arch Rival Roller Girls continue a busy month of May with a trip to Indianapolis this Saturday to face the primary squads of the Naptown Roller Girls.

The ARRG All-Stars engage in battle against the Naptown Tornado Sirens (5-1). ARRG’s Saint Lunachix face NRG’s Warning Belles (5-3) in the b-team opener.

The double header, entitled “Naptown 500!” takes place at the Indiana Convention Center. For those travelling to Indy, the event begins at 6 pm Eastern/5 pm Central.

(Muckety Memo: As of presstime, LIVE webstream coverage the event will be available free of charge, courtesy of NRG. Check the NRG website RIGHT HERE later in the week for more details.)

For the second time this season, the ARRG All-Stars will be facing a squad that advanced to the WFTDA Championships last Fall.

It’s an opponent that the locals know very well. Arch Rival netted its biggest victory to date historically with a 115-99 upset win over Naptown last August at Midwest Sport Hockey.

The situation is different this time as ARRG is back in Indy’s backyard at an intimidating venue that holds up to 3,000 derby fanatics.

But forget the venue for a moment…it’s the opponent that’s more intimidating.

The Naptown Tornado Sirens – currently ranked #16 in the WFTDA – advanced to the 2012 tourney for the Hydra Cup by finishing third at last September’s North Central region playoff. After defeating Atlanta in the opening round, Naptown was eliminated in round two following a loss to Gotham.

This season, the Tornado Sirens (4-0 in WFTDA sanctioned play) have notched up impressive wins that are synonymous with a top-tier league. NRG topped Bleeding Heartland (211-85), Toronto (239-143), Detroit (140-104) and Burning River (298-29) to start its sanctioned play undefeated.

The squad also split a pair of non-sanctioned bouts against Cincinnati (a 254-107 win) and Windy City (a 207-125 loss), which do not apply to the new mathematically-calculated WFTDA rankings method.

However one calculates the math, the most important number for Naptown is “14,” as in the amount of skilled veterans on the roster.

There’s a lot of depth in the NRG jamming rotation, paced longtime vets Amooze Booche, Majestic, Maiden America and Blue Messiah. G-Rocket, Trauma-line and R.I.P. Tide also don the star panty on occasion.

Anchoring the offense are top-tier blockers, including veterans Cereal Killer, Asian Sinsation and Rachael Tension.

In short, it’s the same familiar faces that the ARRG All-Stars saw last year. One has to believe that Naptown is not too happy with sitting three spots behind St. Louis in the current WFTDA rankings. They’ll be looking to score a big win to climb the rankings ladder.

In the undercard, the Saint Lunachix face a familiar foe as well in the Naptown Warning Belles. Last season, the Chix fell to the Belles 150-93.

A few modifications in personnel will see a somewhat different Lunachix line-up than the one that played at Bleeding Heartland last week. The Lunachix roster for the bout include: Morgan LeFaetal, The Ginger Assassin, Ginny Beastly, Molecular Mayhem, Megalodimnator, EnYa Nightmare, Killer Painguin, Pink Diamond, Professor Rumbledore, The Siege, Shacgyver, Sly Davinita, Spice, Stray Touhell, Cloak N’ DragHer and Party Rockher.

They’ll have to be at their best against a squad that is currently in its most-productive schedule in franchise history.

NRG’s Warning Belles (5-3) won gold at the “B-Cup Challenge” in February with victories over the b-squad of Nashville, Detroit and Charm City. A season-opening shearing of the Cincinnati Violent Lambs (313-62) and other victory over Detroit (269-59) are also on the winning side of the ledger.

The Belles have fallen twice to the A-squad of Demolition City and to Windy City’s Second Wind (173-98), resulting in its current “two bouts above .500 mark.”

Skaters to watch for in the Warning Belles line-up include Willa Hoeflinch, Pushy Cat, Honey Badger, Mutant Jean, Haterade and Lethal Vixen.

Although both squads competed at February’s “B-Cup Challenge” in Bloomington, they did not meet each other at the round robin. And as with the case in b-team match-ups, roster juggling makes it hard to predict a favorite.

The travel squads of ARRG will have their hands full at the “Naptown 500!” this Saturday in Indianapolis. They both hope to take home the “checkered flag.”

ALL-STARS TREK CONTINUES SUNDAY AT SPRING ROLL

Whether they win or lose Saturday in Indianapolis, the ARRG All-Stars will have to gear up the next day and continue its tour of the state by travelling up North to Fort Wayne to compete at Spring Roll 2013.

Arch Rival will face the Dutchland Derby Rollers (WFTDA #43) Sunday at 6 pm Eastern/5 pm Central.

(Muckety Memo: The ARRG bout will have LIVE webstream coverage, free of charge. Go to THIS LINK RIGHT HERE for the complete schedule of the event. ARRG’s “brothers in derby,” the St. Louis GateKeepers are competing in three bouts during the event.)

Spring Roll, held at the Allen County War Memorial Coliseum is a three-day invitational that will see men’s, women’s and junior derby bouts held on two tracks within the facility.

ARRG’s bout against Dutchland will be the inaugural showdown between the two squads.

The Dutchland Derby Rollers (2-2) qualified for the 2012 WFTDA East region playoff and finished tenth. They have wins over WFTDA #78 Dominion (197-176) and #84 Cape Fear (208-71). Their two setbacks were against # 75 River City (206-92) and #56 Burning River (249-151).

Currently on the bubble for the WFTDA 2013 post-season, Dutchland needs a win over Arch Rival or at least keep close in defeat. Because of the parity of the leagues currently sitting #35 through #45, combined with loss to Burning River, a lopsided loss to ARRG might potentially leave them out of reach for a playoff bid.

Meanwhile, the Arch Rival All-Stars want to finish the weekend on a high note heading into Midwest Brewhaha in late-May.

A dominant win at Spring Roll over Dutchland will most certainly provide fuel to feed the fire.

NEXT WEEK IN THE ARRG NEWSCENTER: We will see how the Hoosier State trek turned out. We’ll have Full road trip coverage with complete bout recaps of Saturday’s double header with Naptown and Sunday’s All-Star tilt vs. Dutchland at Spring Roll!

Muckety Muck and Magilla Guerilla are bout co-announcers for the Arch Rival Roller Girls. Check back in this section on Mondays for the latest in ARRG news and information.

ALL-STARS & LUNACHIX IMPRESSIVE IN SWEEP!

by Muckety Muck, ARRG Bout Co-Announcer – Photos by Bob Dunnell

(BALLWIN, MO) Mere hours after the 139^th Kentucky Derby had concluded at Churchill Downs, the travel squads of the Arch Rival Roller Girls brought their own brand of derby to the flat-track at Midwest Sport Hockey.

In Saturday’s two-bout sweep against the teams of the Ohio Rollergirls, ARRG collectively went to the winner’s circle.

In the main event, the Arch Rival All-Stars, ranked #13 internationally by the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association, topped #23 Ohio 179-108. In the b-team undercard, ARRG’s Saint Lunachix thumped Ohio’s Gang Green 242-70.

With the wins, each ARRG squad improved to 4-1 on the season.

Taking victories in the double header was impressive enough. How each squad did it was even more so.

For the 450 derby fans in attendance, it felt like hitting an exacta and heading to the pay window.

#13 ARCH RIVAL 179    #23 OHIO 108

Every bout that the ARRG All-Stars have had so far in 2013 always contains plenty of intrigue and drama prior to the first whistle. Sometimes, it’s a direct result of the pre-bout status of the locals. Conversely, it’s sometimes based upon the skill set of the opposition.

In Saturday’s bout, it was both…cranked up to an all-new level.

For starters, ARRG was facing a squad that already had twice as many games in hand prior to Saturday. Ohio had eight completed bouts on the ledger, which included seven dominant wins, compared to St. Louis’ four.

In addition, ARRG’s talented opponents were riding the momentum of the prior season, which saw them set a new WFTDA benchmark for most sanctioned wins in a regular season and ultimately finish fourth at last September’s North Central region playoff. A pair of wins in the Ohio 2012 campaign was over Arch Rival.

Most importantly, Arch Rival was working with a shortened bench that saw two glaring holes pre-bout. The non-injury absences of jammers Black Market Baby and Brickyard made some wonder how the ARRG braintrust would be able to fill the gaps and which blockers would inevitably don the “star panty.”

By taking a normal blocker out of the pack configuration, this meant that the workload would increase for all involved. That’s not easy against the hard-hitting, multi-positional athletes that Ohio has on the roster.

In short, if Arch Rival wanted to net the “W” over the Buckeyes, it arguably had to play its best bout this season…if not ever.

And they did.

The 71-point win proved that the squad can achieve, even if the deck was stacked against them on paper pre-bout.

“It was a really hard-fought tough game, because Ohio is an excellent team, but this is something we really, really wanted, especially after the tough rivalry last season,” said ARRG blocker/jammer Smarty McFly afterwards. “This was a notch in our belts, I guess, after those two losses to them last year.”

It didn’t take long for the locals to gain an advantage. It was a quick sprint out of the gates.

After Ohio’s Phoenix Bunz posted a two-point bout-opening jam, Arch Rival went on a 26-0 run over the next four rotations. Back-to-back four-pointers scored by South City Shiner and Mighty Mighty Boston gave the locals an 8-2 edge four minutes deep.

May Require Stitches’ natural 17-pointer on the next jam stretched the margin to 25-2. Shiner concluded the 26-point run with a solo point, which gave ARRG a 26-2 lead with 24:45 left in the period.

Following a scoreless rotation, Ohio rallied with a power jam by derby sophomore The Smacktivist, whose 17-1 scoring strike at 20:40 whittled the ARRG margin to 30-19.

Arch Rival calmly responded with another 26-0 rally over seven jams that widened the gap. Shiner’s five was followed by a pair from Boston that stretched the ARRG lead to 37-19. At 16:50, Stitches added seven to extend the lead to 44-19. Shiner’s solo point was followed by seven from Boston at 14:29 that widened the gap to 52-19.

A solo tally from The Educator was followed by a trey from Shiner, which concluded the 26-point uncontested run and gave Arch Rival a 56-19 lead with 12:00 left in the period.

An 8-4 jam by Boston followed on the next rotation, which was then followed by three from The Educator. Combined with the rally, ARRG had now notched up nine consecutive lead jams, culminating in a 67-23 lead with 8:45 left.

And all went well after that…well, not quite! After all this IS the extremely-talented Ohio squad that ARRG was playing against.

The visitors netted 24 straight points on the next four jams. The hard-charging Bunz baked a 14-0 strike with 7:35 to start the rally. Kitty Liquorbottom notched three on the next rotation to narrow the margin to 67-40. The Smacktivist posted four and Liqourbottom added another three points to finish the uncontested run and pull OHRG within striking distance, a 67-47 ARRG advantage with 4:11 left.

ARRG responded with points collected off a power jam spread over two rotations. Shiner and Educator each scored four in the mix and stretched the margin to 75-47 with 1:45 left in the period.

Ohio netted lead in the last two jams of the frame to end on a high note. Liquorbottom’s solo point was followed by Bunz’ four-point strike as time concluded.

Despite having a first-period advantage in lead jams (15-7), ARRG only had a 75-52 lead at intermission. The late surge by the Buckeyes, who were down by as many as 44 points eight minutes earlier, made ARRG reflect on what worked well and, conversely, what didn’t in the first half.

“We realized that (Ohio was) getting points when our defense was frazzled or when we started going to the box,” said ARRG co-captain Shimmy Hoffa of the halftime locker room chat. “We talked about the different areas that we needed to tighten up on and knew that we had to capitalize on certain opportunities in the second half.”

Ohio wisely rolled out Bunz with the star on the helmet for the opening jam of the second period. The strategy worked to perfection as Bunz notched eight and made the bout a 15-point affair, 75-60 with 28:45 left.

Then came the opportunities that Hoffa and her sistren were anticipating. Arch Rival unleashed a defensive beast that Ohio wasn’t prepared for, which resulted in a 43-0 rally for the locals that opened eyes. Most surprising was the opening rotation that resulted in an even-strength 25-pointer collected by Shiner that extended ARRG’s lead to 100-60 with 25:30 left.

Eight via Boston’s power jam on the next rotation continued the surge and stretched the margin to 108-60. After Educator collected three on the next jam, Stitches hemmed-in seven with 21:10 left to conclude the streak and widen the advantage to 118-60.

Ohio’s The Smacktivist helped stopped the bleeding by notching lead, scoring 14 points and whittling the ARRG lead to 118-74 with 19:00 left.

However, ARRG responded with a two-jam, 21-0 scamper. Boston’s 12-point power jam strike was followed by McFly’s nine-pointer at 16:10 left that stretched the lead to 139-74.

Once again, the Arch Rival blocking schema flexed its muscles in the second period and kept the visitors at bay. Thanks to the work of the aforementioned McFly, Hoffa, Educator and Stitches, as well as Chewblocka, Mayor Francis Slayer, Grave Danger, Rhino-Might, Science Friction and the returning Eli Wallop, ARRG held Ohio – a team that had scored over 200 points in each of their prior victories this season – to only 22 second-half points midway through the frame.

“The blocking was able to dominate most of the game,” said McFly of the stubborn defense.  “I thought our team had control and that was really an awesome feeling.”

As a direct result, Ohio struggled to gain any kind of momentum as the period progressed and ARRG continued to methodically post points. The Educator scored eight with 5:55 left and ARRG comfortably maintained a 175-89 lead.

Despite a late-bout Ohio surge to tighten the final differential, Arch Rival outscored OHRG in the second period 104-56 to pick up the 179-108 win.

Revenge of the two losses experienced last year? It seemed that ARRG wrote the receipt Saturday night.

“We definitely wanted a little retribution for our performance at playoffs (in 2012) and we wanted to hold onto our ranking,” said Hoffa after the bout. “Hopefully, we will be one of the teams to watch from now on.”

ARRG netted its second straight win and maintained its perfect record at Midwest Sport Hockey (10-0). Boston paced the locals with 52 points unofficially, followed by 48 from Shiner.

The Ohio bout kicked off a very busy May for the locals. The ARRG All-Stars travel to Bloomington, Indiana to face Bleeding Heartland (WFTDA #41) this coming Saturday. A preview of this upcoming bout follows this set of recaps.

ARRG then travels to Indianapolis to face #16 Naptown on May 18 and then embarks on an in-state commute to Fort Wayne in order to play #43 Dutchland at the 2013 Spring Roll Invitational the next day.

Saturday’s win most definitely gives Arch Rival a boost of confidence heading into back-to-back weekends against Hoosier rollers.

“It’s the momentum we want going into a hard stretch of travel that we have,” said McFly.

But don’t expect the locals to rest on their laurels as the month progresses.

“There are always things that we can fix,” said Hoffa. “The goal is to always play at the highest level that we can. Every game is going to be an opportunity for us to learn something new about ourselves as a team. We’re just going to keep plugging away at it.”

The Smacktivist topped Ohio scoring with 54 points, followed by 32 from Phoenix Bunz. Ohio (7-2) meets the Blue Ridge Rollers (WFTDA #44) at home this Saturday.

UNOFFICIAL SCORING

ARCH RIVAL ALL-STARS (179): Mighty Mighty Boston 52, South City Shiner 48, May Require Stitches 39, The Educator 23, Smart McFly 17.

OHIO ROLLERGIRLS (108): The Smacktivist 54, Phoenix Bunz 32, Paige Bleed 9, Kitty Liquorbottom 8, HellionBOI 5.

ARRG SAINT LUNACHIX 242  OHIO GANG GREEN 70

In the last meeting between the two squads a year ago at Midwest Brewhaha, Ohio slapped a 42-point loss on the Saint Lunachix. Much like the ARRG All-Stars, the Lunachix had cautious revenge in its mindset Saturday night.

The plan implemented was executed to perfection in the 172-point thrashing of Gang Green. For the second straight bout at Midwest Sport Hockey, the Lunchix utilized a perpetual offense and a stifling defense to dismantle its opponent.

“I was really nervous coming into this one,” said Lunachix blocker The Forecloser. “I think we were all nervous, but it turned out well.”

Perhaps that’s a humble understatement by the veteran. In hindsight, things turned out so well that there was little to critique in the Chix performance…and it certainly erased all memories of the setback suffered the last time out.

Three lead changes marked the first six minutes of play. Following EnYa Nightmare’s five-pointer scored with 24:00 left, the Lunachix possessed a 9-5 lead.

This began a 20-0 rally for the locals. IDA the Living Dead followed with a dozen points on the next rotation and Killer Painguin added three at 21:40 to complete the run and extend the Lunachix lead to 24-5.

A 4-3 non-lead strike by Chix newcomer She-Ra Powers at 19:40 pushed the margin to twenty, 28-8.

Gang Green took advantage of opportunity in jam nine and tightened the gap. A 15-8 power jam collected from Ohio’s Texas Chainsaw Sasskicker narrowed the Chix lead to 36-23.

Nightmare collected nine on the next rotation to push ARRG’s lead to once again over twenty, 45-23 with 15:00 left in the period.

In the second half of the first period, the Lunachix widened the differential with solid work, inevitably resulting in a comfortable lead at intermission.

Painguin scored a 14-pointer with 11:43 left to extend ARRG’s lead to 59-26. Powers added four on the next rotation and Nightmare’s 13-5 power jam with 8:30 left pushed the scoreboard to 76-31.

Painguin later added a pair of points and Powers powered 14 to extend the Lunachix lead to 92-31 with 4:10 left.

The Lunachix possessed a 105-44 advantage at intermission and were far from finished in showing their dominance.

“We just needed some time to clean things up and figure out (Ohio’s) play,” said Lunachix blocker Pink Diamond. “Once we got that figured out, we were able to shut them down.”

And boy, did they ever in the second period!

Nightmare netted nine for the locals from the onset and widened the lead to 114-44. Ohio countered with ten points over the next two jams to cut the gap to 114-54 with 26:00 left.

The Lunachix responded to the Gang Green mini-rally with a 28-0 spike. Concluded with Powers’ 12-point power jam scored with 21:00 left, St. Louis extended its lead to 142-54.

Up 152-66 with 14:00 left, the Lunachix went into “lockdown mode” and held Ohio scoreless for thirteen minutes. ARRG blocking was at its best during this stretch, paced by the aforementioned Diamond and Forecloser, as well as Morgan LeFaetal, Party Foul, Ginny Beastley, The Siege, Hydrogen Bombshell, The Ginger Assassin and the returning Deathica Steele.

In the process, the Lunchix notched up a 76-0 rally that clinched the bout, highlighted by a 24-point power jam by IDA the Living Dead scored with 9:08 left.

The Lunachix outscored Gang Green 137-26 in the second period to net the 172-point win and its third straight victory.

“I was surprised because it seemed like we in the box so much, but we pulled through and we were able to keep their jammer from scoring,” said the Forecloser following the bout that improved the Lunachix record to 4-1.

Four ARRG skaters notched over 40 points individually. Nightmare scored 86 points unofficially, followed by IDA’s 61.

More importantly, the Lunachix continued to display its depth with the win. Even with adjustments to the line-up, the team was firing, proverbially, on all cylinders. That makes one feel good with the upcoming heavy docket of bouts over the next four weeks. The Lunachix will have battles with the b-squads of Bleeding Heartland, Naptown, Detroit, Windy City and Brewcity.

The Lunachix carry a charter of twenty talented skaters and have to submit a starting roster of fourteen for an individual bout. The team’s depth and skill set recently displayed could potentially result in a decisive edge in future bouts against their Midwestern counterparts.

“We’ve got a huge advantage because we know our charter can fill our roster,” said The Forecloser. “We know that those rosters are going to be loaded and ready to go.”

IDA the Living Dead and The Siege were selected by Ohio as ARRG’s MVP Jammer and Blocker, respectively.

Gang Green (2-4) was paced by Burnadeath’s 23 points.

UNOFFICIAL SCORING

ARRG SAINT LUNACHIX (242): EnYa Nightmare 86, IDA the Living Dead 61, Shear-Ra Powers 51, Killer Painguin 44.

OHIO GANG GREEN (70): Burnadeath 23, Elektra Magneto 21, Texas Chainsaw Sasskicker 16, Paige Bleed 6, Shreadhead 4

ARRG TEAMS BLOOMINGTON BOUND THIS SATURDAY!

The rollers from St. Louis have little time to rest following this past weekend’s sweep. Both the ARRG All-Stars and the Saint Lunachix travel to Bloomington, IN to face the squads of the Bleeding Heartland Rollergirls this Saturday.

In the main event, the ARRG All-Stars (WFTDA #13) face the Bleeding Heartland Flatliners (WFTDA #41). Prior to that match-up, the Saint Lunachix (4-1) face BHRG’s Code Blue Assassins (4-4).

The action takes place at BHRG’s Cardiac Arena in Bloomington. The b-team bout begins at 6 pm Eastern/5 pm Central and the A-team action follows. For St. Louis fans travelling, tickets are $20 at the door.

(Muckety Memo: As of press time, LIVE webstream coverage of the event will be available at no cost, courtesy of BHRG. Check Bleeding Heartland’s official website RIGHT HERE later in the week for more details.)

The ARRG All-Stars posted a 173-58 win over the Flatliners at Midwest Sport Hockey one year ago in the inaugural match-up between the two leagues.

The full line-up is back for the ARRG All-Stars this Saturday and they look for its second straight win over Bloomington, a task they know won’t be easy even though the distance between the two leagues in the WFTDA hierarchy is noticeable.

“They’re ranked considerably lower than us, so the goal is not to underestimate them,” said ARRG blocker Shimmy Hoffa of the match-up. “They have very talented skaters. Every point counts with the new (WFTDA) rankings system. We need to make sure we get every point we can and play as hard as we can.”

Bleeding Heartland (6-5) has been a team on the post-season bubble the past few years. In 2012, they finished the WFTDA North Central region ranked eleventh.

With the new WFTDA rankings methodology in 2013 that eliminates regional boundaries and grants the “Top 40” international leagues post-season berths, the #41 Flatliners are more than primed to make its first-ever post-season appearance.

Their schedule has been very active this season (11 bouts in four months) and a win over ARRG this Saturday night most certainly puts them into playoff contention.

They’ll attempt to achieve this feat at the friendly confines of Cardiac Arena, a converted warehouse that has seen plenty of victories.

BHRG has home wins this season over Brewcity (WFTDA #32), Cincinnati (#38), Grand Raggidy (#48), Burning River (#56) and Old Capital City (#67).

This past weekend, they hosted Brewcity and Steel City (#22) in a three-bout invitational called TARDIS (Triple Action Roller Derby in Space.) The 202-149 loss to Steel City and the 305-247 win over Brewcity pushed their team’s record to 6-5.

This squad contains the experience and firepower to make a push into the WFTDA post-season picture. Even though they suffered a 115-point setback to Arch Rival last year, this team is definitely stronger in 2013.

At the forefront of Bleeding Heartland jamming is a solid trio, paced by veteran Flatliner Kaka Caliente, grinder Nuck L. Sammie and the hard-charging Terror D’Bits. They are supplemented by a talented roster of blockers: Bobbi McGuillotine, Naylor Coffenshutt, Shifty McGee, Mauls Dolls, Special Sass, Bombshell Shock, Manda Runyon, Shock N’ Roll, Pele’s Melee and Aceta Menacin’.

The Flatliners are put into a situation this Saturday where they have potentially “everything to gain” in the bout against the ARRG All-Stars. St. Louis is the highest-ranked WFTDA squad that BHRG will face this season. With the new mathematically-based WFTDA rankings system this year, how the Flatliners perform – even in a loss – could be instrumental in making the 2103 post-season. The new rankings system, based on algorithms, weighs a bout’s final differential and both respective league’s strength of schedule in a designated time period as variables in determining a league’s WFTDA ranking.

Long story short, the Flatliners need a strong performance if they want to keep its playoff dreams alive.

We’ll see how the drama unfolds!

In the undercard, the Saint Lunachix return to familiar stomping grounds to face BHRG’s Code Blue Assassins.

The Chix have played a majority of their 2013 bouts thus far at Cardiac Arena. The squad participated in BHRG’s “B-Cup Tournament” in February and finished the eight-team event third with a 2-1 record.

Although the Chix never faced the CBAs during the round-robin, the invitational did give the locals a chance to scout Saturday’s opposition.

The recent solid play of the Lunachix is going to show those in Bloomington how much they’ve progressed since its visit three months ago.

“We expect (the CBAs) to fight pretty hard, but I don’t think they expect how well we’re playing together as a team right now, “ said Lunachix blocker Pink Diamond of the match-up. “Our blockers have really gotten to know each other well to where we’re anticipating our own jammers and being able to clear the way for them.”

Much like its A-team sistren, BHRG’s Code Blue Assassins have had a busy 2013 thus far. The squad has victories over the b-teams of Fort Wayne (212-130), Grand Raggidy (164-161) and Burning River (230-84)

That, a split against the Cincinnati Silent Lambs and losses against the b-squads of Charm City, Ohio and Nashville has resulted in a record at the .500 mark.

The CBAs launch a jammer attack that includes Dare E. Eryn, Biscuit Cutter and newcomer Bipolar Curves. Blockers Uh Huh Hurricane, Patches O’ Houlihan, Manda Runyon and Mauls Dolls assist in laying down the foundation.

We’ll see if both squads of Arch Rival can continue to keep the momentum rolling following the Ohio sweep! We hope to see you in Bloomington this Saturday night!

ARRG TEAMS NET “TEAM OF THE WEEK” HONORS!

The recent success of the two primary ARRG travel squads has netted them televised honors. Both the ARRG All-Stars and the Saint Lunachix have been individiually awarded the “Papa John’s Team of the Week” from KPLR-TV on its “Sunday Sports Extra” program.

The sportscast, seen Sundays at 7:30 pm on KPLR, Channel 11, weekly recognizes an area sports team for its achievements.

This past Sunday, the ARRG All-Stars were given the award. The story featured an interview with co-captain Mayor Francis Slayer as well as highlights from the Ohio victory.

Go to THIS LINK RIGHT HERE to see the ARRG All-Stars’ “Team of the Week” feature.

In a future installment to be aired at a later date, the Saint Lunachix will be featured.

Congratulations to both squads for the recognition!

NEXT WEEK IN THE ARRG NEWSCENTER: Can the locals continue to keep the blood pumping at Cardiac Arena against Bleeding Heartland? We’ll have recaps from both ARRG games. Plus, if one thought that the season has been tough so far, a road trip to Naptown is right around the corner. The All-Stars battle #16 Naptown Tornado Sirens while the Lunachix face NRG’s Warning Belles. We’ll preview the Indy 5/18 double header. Also, the All-Stars venture up North the following day to participate at the 2013 Spring Roll. They face a new opponent that’s a perennial WFTDA playoff entrant, #43 Dutchland. Wow! So much going on and so much info to give!

Muckety Muck and Magilla Guerilla are bout co-announcers for the Arch Rival Roller Girls. Check back in this section on Mondays for the latest in ARRG news and information.

(BALLWIN, MO) The travel squads of the Arch Rival Roller Girls went 2-0 Saturday night against the teams of the Ohio Rollergirls at Midwest Sport Hockey.

In the main event, the ARRG All-Stars (#13 WFTDA) utilized a bone-jarring defense en route to a 179-108 victory over Ohio (#23 WFTDA). In the undercard, ARRG’s Saint Lunachix turned up the heat in a 242-70 win over Ohio’s Gang Green.

The wins by both squads improved their respective records to 4-1 on the season.

In the A-battle between Midwestern rivals, the ARRG All-Stars used two separate 26-0 rallies in the first period to inevitably notch a 56-19 advantage. A late-period sprint from Ohio whittled the margin to 75-52 at intermission.

Then after Ohio scored eight points on the second half’s opening jam, Arch Rival posted a 43-0 run over four jams to widen the gap. The rally gave the locals a 118-60 lead nine minutes deep.

ARRG would go on to outscore Ohio 104-56 in the second period to pick up the 71-point win, its second straight. Mighty Mighty Boston paced the locals with 52 points.

In the b-team bout, the Saint Lunachix used first-period power to build a sizable advantage. The Chix hustled their way to a 105-44 advantage at halftime.

The differential widened as the second period progressed. At the midway point of the frame, the Chix built the lead to 152-66. The ARRG defense went into “lockdown mode,” keeping OHRG scoreless for 14:00 worth of clock time. As a direct result, the Chix 76-0 run widened the gap.

The Chix outscored Gang Green 137-26 in the second period to pick up their third straight win.

Full recaps of both bouts will be featured in this section of the website on Monday.

BONUS COVERAGE: As a result of their win Saturday night, the ARRG All-Stars have been selected as the “Papa John’s Team of the Week” by KPLR-TV. Watch “Sunday Sports Extra” on KPLR, Channel 11 on Sunday at 7:35 pm for a feature on the team and highlights from the bout.

RIVALRIES RENEW IN ACTION-PACKED DOUBLE HEADER!

by Muckety Muck, Bout Co-Announcer – Photos by Bob Dunnell

This Saturday night in Ballwin, the high-intensity action of the Arch Rival Roller Girls returns…and the stakes couldn’t be any higher!

In the main event, the ARRG All-Stars (3-1) face the Ohio Roller Girls (7-1). In the undercard, ARRG’s B-team, the Saint Lunachix (3-1) tangles with Ohio’s Gang Green (2-3).

The double header takes place at Midwest Sport Hockey (570 Weidman Rd., Ballwin, MO). Doors open at 6:30 pm and the first whistle blows at 7 pm.

Tickets on bout night are $15 cash only at the door. Children 10 and under get in free. Save $3 per ticket by purchasing online at Brown Paper Tickets at THIS LINK RIGHT HERE! (Note: Online sales end late Friday night!)

At the last home event on April 13, both ARRG travel squads notched impressive victories over cross-state counterpart Kansas City. However, the task is much more demanding this Saturday night against a very impressive league from Columbus, Ohio!

Considered one of the best rivalries in the WFTDA last year, the A-team showdown between ARRG and OHRG picks up where it left off last September.

In #4 vs. #5 match-up at last year’s North Central playoff in Niagara Falls, New York, Ohio capitalized on ARRG penalties and posted a 10-point win in the opening round. That first round setback immediately quashed any dreams Arch Rival had in making a berth to the 2012 WFTDA Championships.

That loss stung a lot! Arch Rival, currently ranked thirteenth in the WFTDA rankings, will be looking for revenge after posting a historical benchmark three weeks ago.

On April 13, ARRG netted a 164-99 win over the Kansas City Roller Warriors (WFTDA #19) at Queeny Park, which resulted in the team’s first victory historically over the Missourian legacy league and improved their overall record to 3-1 in 2013.

“We’ve been hungry for that for so long,” said Arch Rival blocker The Educator after the bout. “We didn’t think about what they were doing and just focused on what we needed to do to make our strategy work for us. That was an amazing victory.“

“That was pretty massive,” added ARRG jammer South City Shiner, who finished with 31 points. ”We played them three times and lost, so that was big deal.”

Jammer Mighty Mighty Boston posted 68 points to lead the locals in scoring. Brickyard and Black Market Baby contributed 41 and 31, respectively.

However, the bout’s true MVPs that showed their prowess were the blocking battalion, paced by the aforementioned Educator, May Require Stitches, Chewblocka, Grave Danger, Science Friction, Smarty McFly, Shimmy Hoffa, Mayor Francis Slayer and Rhino-Might. This was specifically true in the second half, where the group held KCRW to an uncharacteristic 42 points in the second half.

That same type of defensive shut-down, with minimal penalties, has to be consistent for all sixty minutes against Ohio. The blocking will get an additional boost this Saturday as veteran All-Star Eli Wallop returns following a five-month injury rehab. However, the ARRG pack configuration will see some personnel modifications out of necessity this Saturday night.

Arch Rival will have to shuffle the blocking structure due to the non-injury absences of starting jammers Brickyard and Black Market Baby. This means that periodically a multi-positional player will have to occasionally convert from blocker to jammer to relieve the increased workload of both Boston and Shiner.

If you’re an ARRG fan, there’s no need to panic about this situation! Boston and Shiner are used to high productivity at a local level for the Stunt Devils. In fact, they thrive on it! And as we’ve seen locally, Educator, Hoffa, Stitches and McFly are more than capable of donning the star with impressive effect. In addition, high-scoring Saint Lunachix jammers EnYa Nightmare and Pink Diamond are additions to the All-Star line-up. This shows the level of experience and depth the team possesses.

Whatever configuration and methodology Arch Rival implements this Saturday night, it has to be almost flawless in execution for its opponent is one of the most intense leagues in the WFTDA.

The Ohio Roller Girls, currently ranked #23 in WFTDA, set a new derby benchmark last year for the most WFTDA-sanctioned wins in a regular season. The philosophy in 2012 was to play anyone at any place at any time. The 19-win campaign prior to the playoffs helped propel them to a fourth place finish at the 2012 North Central playoff in Niagara Falls.

Unfortunately, finishing fourth in a region meant that a league could not take the next step to the WTFDA Championships. Under the playoff structure, a league has to finish in the top three regionally in order to gain a championship berth.

As noted before in prior previews, the complexion of the WFTDA playoff structure has now changed in 2013. The new WFTDA points-calculated system now eliminates all prior regional boundaries. As a result, all WFTDA-ranked leagues (currently 149 internationally) are stacked top-to-bottom.

The goal is to make the “Top 40” internationally when the July rankings are released. Those will be the chosen leagues to make the opening playoff rounds.

OHRG is once again bringing that same hard-working methodology this season in order to gain traction. They’ve already played twice as many games as ARRG.

After posting home victories over Bleeding Heartland (WFTDA #41) and Burning River (WFTDA #56), Ohio swept all three of its bouts at April’s Quad City Chaos in Toronto. They followed that trifecta with an 84-point win over Pittsburgh’s Steel City Derby Demons (WFTDA #22) to keep the perfect record intact. This past weekend, OHRG split road bouts against WFTDA #75 River City (a 278-68 smashing) and WFTDA #12 Charm City (a 232-132 loss), resulting in its mark of 7-1 heading into this Saturday’s bout.

There’s so many layers to OHRG’s offense that it’s difficult where to start. But if there is one Buckeye to watch this weekend, it would be sophomore jammer The Smacktivist, who scored 83 points in the Steel City win. She’ll be joined by veterans Phoenix Bunz, Loraine Acid, Kitty Liqourbottom and HellionBOI in the very deep rotation.

Much like Arch Rival, the key to Ohio’s success this season thus far is the blocking schema. Veterans Bratislava Bruiser, Pippi RipYourStockings, Amy Spears, Kill Basa, Ava Tarr and OuttaMyWayMan will set up the foundation.

OHRG swept both bouts played between the two in 2012. Arch Rival knows that they have to be at their best Saturday to keep their current 9-0 record at Midwest Sport Hockey intact.

“Their players play multiple positions and they’re fast and athletic,” said ARRG’s Boston of Saturday’s opposition.

“Bring on Ohio!” emphatically added the Educator.

Yep, they’ll bring it!

You’ll want to be there for all sixty minutes. The action will be intense!

In the opener, ARRG’s Saint Lunachix, riding on one of their most dominant victories historically in April, are looking to pick up their third straight win.

The Chix netted a 304-106 victory over Kansas City’s Plan B at Midwest Sport Hockey three weekends ago. It had marked the first time the locals had posted 300 points in a bout.

“It’s really important to me that, whether we win or lose, we have fun playing together,” said Chix co-captain Morgan LeFaetal after the bout. “You could see us (against KC) recycling on the blockers and the jammers out there, working well together and just having a great time doing it. We did all those things (that night).”

Veteran Chix jammer EnYa Nightmare scored triple digits in the win. Plus, a pair of youngsters netted high totals against tough opposition. Both Killer Painguin and IDA the Living Dead collected over 70 points in the bout. All three will be in the line-up Saturday night. New Chix’ addition She-Ra Powers will also see a rotation or two at that position.

Setting up the walls will be a solid set of blockers, paced by LeFaetal, The Forecloser, Pink Diamond, Party Foul, Ginny Beastly, Hydrogen Bombshell, The Siege, Professor Rumbledore and The Ginger Assassin. In addition, Chix co-captain Deathica Steele returns to the line-up this Saturday night following a three-month injury rehab. Alternates Sly Davinita and Sp!ce Rack round out the roster.

Their opponents are a hard-charging team as well…and will be looking to play spoiler.

Ohio’s Gang Green contains the components that are essential to league’s development. After posting a season-opening opening win over Bleeding Heartland’s Code Blue Assassins, they dropped their next two, including a 189-156 setback to the Steel City Steel Beamers.

This past Saturday, they spanked River City Warriors’ Uncivil Warriors 448-40 to even their record.  The following morning, a 200-185 loss to Charm City’s Female Trouble dropped their record to 2-3.

Write down the license plate of Gang Green’s Bigg Rigg, who scored 52 points in the Steel City bout, as well as jammers Elektra Magneto and Paige Bleed. Blocking will be paced by Pearl Rogi, Texas Chainsaw SassKicker, NiCold N Deadly, Blitz Lemon, Tactigal, and Angla Vyle.

Gang Green netted victory in its one prior battle against ARRG’s b-team, a 152-110 win at last June’s Midwest Brewhaha.

The Lunachix look to gain the upper hand Saturday night to even the historical record! The action will be top-notch from whistle-to-whistle!

While you’re at Midwest Sport Hockey, be sure to stop by the official ARRG merchandise table to help support the locals.

Also visit the charity raffle table, where tickets can be purchased for $1 apiece or six for $5. ARRG is continuing its support of its season-long charity partner, CHADS Coalition of St. Louis. Charity raffle prizes include ARRG bout tickets, gift certificates from area businesses and other collectibles. Remember, you can’t win if you don’t participate!

This weekend, Arch Rival will once again look to impress the national derby scene. A huge, vocal crowd will help their cause!

We’ll see you this Saturday night at Midwest Sport Hockey!

NEXT WEEK IN THE ARRG NEWSCENTER: Full bout recaps of the double header vs. Ohio! Plus, a preview of the travel squads’ next opponent the following week, Bleeding Heartland!

Muckety Muck and Magilla Guerilla are bout co-announcers for the Arch Rival Roller Girls. Check back in this section on Mondays for the latest in ARRG news/information.

ALL-STARS & LUNACHIX DOMINANT IN WINS!

by Muckety Muck – Photos by Bob Dunnell

(BALLWIN, MO) As far as home openers go, this was about as perfect as it gets!

At its interleague home opener Saturday night at Midwest Sport Hockey, the primary travel squads of the Arch Rival Roller Girls swept a double header against the Kansas City Roller Warriors.

In the main event, the ARRG All-Stars, ranked thirteenth in the WFTDA, utilized a second-period surge to post a 164-99 win over the nineteenth-ranked KCRW All-Stars. In the b-team opener, ARRG’s Saint Lunachix outmuscled KCRW’s Plan B 304-106.

Both teams improved to 3-1 on the season with their respective wins. More importantly, the solid victories over their highly-competitive cross-state counterpart resulted in newfound confidence as the league heads into a very active May.

In the upcoming month, ARRG challenges the squads of Ohio, Bleeding Heartland and Naptown on successive weekends.

Saturday’s two-bout sweep gave notice to those on the horizon that Arch Rival is a league to watch out for in 2013.

#13 ARRG ALL-STARS 164  #19 KCRW ALL-STARS 99

In three prior “Show Me State” battles, Kansas City had always trumped the locals. That streak came to an end Saturday night as Arch Rival utilized a 37-0 second-period sprint en route to a 65-point victory.

“We’ve been hungry for this for so long,” said Arch Rival blocker The Educator after the bout. “We didn’t think about what they were doing and just focused on what we needed to do to make our strategy work for us. This is an amazing victory.“

New faces in the Kansas City roster for its first bout of 2013 and the absence of stealth jammer Jade Lightning in the bout-day line-up resulted in question marks for the league that went to last year’s WFTDA Championships.

Arch Rival hit an exclamation point with the bout’s opening whistle as jammer Mighty Mighty Boston capitalized on a JamaLamaDingDong track cut penalty to post 18 points and give the locals an 18-0 edge.

KCRW’s Ruth Canal retaliated with four on the next rotation, whittling the ARRG lead to 18-4 with 26:35 left in the period.

Brickyard collected two for Arch Rival on jam three to extend the lead to 20-4. A 2-1 jam for South City Shiner pushed the advantage to 22-5 with 24:05 left in the period.

Kansas City rolled out a 14-0 rally over the next three rotations to whittle away the deficit. Jama’s solo point was followed by a 5-pointer from Canal to narrow the gap to 22-11. Shady O’Dread added eight at 19:30 on the next jam to make the bout a three-point affair, a 22-19 lead for ARRG with 19:30 left in the first period.

A 4-4 push on the ninth jam was followed by eleven points straight by Arch Rival. Black Market Baby’s deuce was followed by nine from Brickyard, resulting in a 37-23 lead for the hostesses with 14:00 left in the period.

Kansas City struck back on the next rotation, resulting in a lead change. As ARRG’s Shiner sat in the box via a track cut, Enigma collected 19 points that gave the visitors a 42-37 lead with 11:10 left in the frame.

The five-point lead was short-lived as KC’s Canal went to the box during the next jam for the same infraction. As a result, Boston netted 15 points for Arch Rival, who regained the lead, 52-42, with 8:55 left. ARRG added three more on the next jam from BMB to widen the lead to 55-42.

With 6:40 left, ARRG scored two from Brickyard’s jam, but in the process lost a key cog in its blocking schema. Arch Rival pivot Mayor Francis Slayer received a gross misconduct penalty for illegal interference due to an incident involving the fallen “jammer panty” of KCRW’s JamaLamaDingDong.

According to the WFTDA rule set, any gross misconduct penalty – even those committed on the first occurrence – leads to an automatic expulsion…or in this non-violent, non-obscene instance that affected game play, the Mayor’s impeachment.

“We’ve been working really hard to build a deep bench, so when we lost Mayor, we were still confident that we could play our strategy with the resources that we had,” said The Educator of the situation.

Re-shuffling the line-up was no big deal. Staying out of the box was. Kansas City capitalized on consistent Arch Rival penalties and launched a 15-0 rally over four jams that inevitably tied the score.

O’ Dread collected five, Enigma followed with four and JamaLamaDingDong added three to close the gap to 57-54. Mary Lou Wretched’s three-pointer scored on the period’s penultimate jam resulted in a 57-57 stalemate with 1:20 left.

The late-half KCRW sprint was the type that had historically given Arch Rival a case of the sour belches during past play. ARRG’s missive this season is not to let things like that overwhelm them.

“We have been working on our mental game this year, so that was like a big challenge for us,” said ARRG’s Shiner of the drama. “A lot of times, we would really lose our sh*t when something like that happens.”

Cooler heads prevailed as O’Dread’s track cut on the period’s final jam gave Arch Rival a chance finish the period on top. Shiner netted a dozen points to give St. Louis a 69-57 lead at intermission to give her squad a little breathing room and to collectively reflect in the locker room.

Perhaps the late-period push by Arch Rival foreshadowed things to come as St. Louis churned out a 37-0 run to begin the second period. Highlighted by a pair of nine-pointers by Brickyard and Shiner, Arch Rival stretched its lead to 106-57 with 22:30 left in the bout.

A 13-3 power jam strike by KCRW’s Annie Maul stopped the bleeding and narrowed the deficit to 109-70 with 20:15 left, yet Kansas City could find little traction thereafter. Paced by the blocking schema of Shimmy Hoffa, Chewblocka, May Require Stitches, Grave Danger, Rhino Might, Smarty McFly, Science Friction and Hydrogen Bombshell, Arch Rival held KCRW scoring to a pair of points over the bout’s next ten minutes.

“I knew Kansas City was going to be hard-hitting, but our blockers were solid with their four-walls, which made it easy for our jammers to get through,” said Boston of her blocking sistren.

In the process, ARRG went on a 39-2 surge. Following two from Brickyard, Shiner collected ten via a power jam with 17:30 left to stretch the lead to 121-70. Boston followed with eight to widen the gap to 129-70.

Brickyard later added a baker’s dozen that made the score 142-72. ARRG completed the 39-2 rally with 10:20 left and had amassed a 148-72 lead.

KCRW briskly scored points in the waning stages to tighten the differential, but the deficit was way out of reach. Arch Rival outscored Kansas City 95-42 in the second half to pick up the 164-99 victory, its first over KCRW historically.

 “This was pretty massive,” said Shiner, who finished with 31 points. ”We played them three times and lost, so this was big deal.”

Boston paced Arch Rival with 68 points, followed by Brickyard’s 41. The win also kept the team’s record at Midwest Sport Hockey unblemished (9-0). Arch Rival hosts Ohio (WFTDA #23) on May 4 at Midwest Sport Hockey.

“(Ohio’s) players play multiple positions and they’re fast and athletic,” said Boston of the rivalry that was a finalist in last year’s Derby News Network Readers Poll. “We’re going to have to train really, really hard against them.”

Kansas City (0-1) was paced by Enigma’s 24 points. KCRW is idle until mid-May’s Spring Roll 2013, where they face Chicago Outfit and Dutchland in WFTDA-sanctioned bouts and Midwest MEGAteam in an exhibition bout.

UNOFFICIAL SCORING

ARCH RIVAL ALL-STARS (164): Mighty Mighty Boston 68, Brickyard 41, South City Shiner 31, Black Market Baby 21

KANSAS CITY ROLLER WARRIORS ALL-STARS (99): Enigma 24, Shady O’ Dread 16, Trauma 15, Annie Maul 13, JamaLamaDingDong 9, Ruth Canal 9.

ARRG SAINT LUNACHIX 304   KCRW PLAN B 106

In the b-team undercard, the Saint Lunachix had a plan…dispatch Plan B by simultaneously utilizing derby smarts and ruthless aggression. The “A-plan” was effective, and eye-opening, in the 198-point victory that improved the Chix to 3-1.

“Coming into this game, we were a little worried about our team work,” said Lunachix co-captain Morgan LeFaetal following the win. “At our scrimmage earlier in the week, we were all over the place. Our goal was to come together as a team and really be positive and supportive of one another.”

That positivity and support was consistent throughout.

EnYa Nightmare began the scoring with a 9-pointer on the opening jam to give the Lunachix the early 9-0 lead. A 4-4 push on the second jam upped the score to 13-4. Killer Painguin extended the Chix’s lead to 17-4 with a four pointer scored with 26:00 left in the period.

KC’s Plan B capitalized on a power jam on the next rotation and eventually powered their way to a lead change. A 4-2 strike for Chum Fiesta was followed by a ten pointer scored by Bereave at 23:45 to make the score bout an one-point affair, 19-18 in favor of the Chix.

An 8-4 jam for Plan B’s Bomb Pop gave KCRW its first lead of the bout, 26-23 with 21:50 left in the period.

The lead was short-lived and never seen again as the Chix went on a 28-0 run over the next three jams. Nightmare powered out an even strength 20-pointer on the next rotation, which gave the Chix a 43-26 lead with 19:50 left. Back-to-back four-pointers by Ida the Living Dead and Painguin extended the lead to 51-26 at the 17:45 mark.

Following a trey scored by Plan B’s Bomb Pop, Nightmare netted a 14-pointer for the Chix, extending the St. Louis margin to 65-29 with 14:50 left in the period.

Bereave scored three for KCRW to whittle the gap to 65-32. The Chix responded with their first power jam of the bout. Painguin’s 20-4 strike at 11:00 pushed the score to 85-36.

Jams of twenty dotted the Chix scoring ledger as the period progressed. Painguin’s 20-5 tally with 3:55 left raised the score to 123-5. Ida the Living Dead’s period-ending 20-point power jam gave the Lunachix a “very much alive” 152-31 lead at intermission.

“That made it a lot easier for us,” said Painguin of the halftime comfort margin. “There wasn’t all that pressure to constantly score points.”

The momentum carried over into the second period as The Chix started with a 30-0 sprint in the first two jams. Nightmare’s period-opening 10-pointer was followed by another 20-point power jam for Ida. The rally extended the Lunachix lead to 182-51 three minutes into the period.

ARRG hit the bi-centennial mark as Ida netted a 9-4 non-lead scoring strike to give the locals a 203-60 lead with 21:20 remaining.

The Lunachix continued the onslaught as the period progressed and the Kansas City penalties accumulated. A 20-point power jam by Penguin scored with 17:55 left extended St. Louis’ lead to 227-60. Ida added 18 via the same method that pushed the score to 254-68.

As the scoring accumulated, the Chix defense held Plan B to minimal points. Consistency was key as LeFaetal, Party Foul, The Forecloser, Ginny Beastly, Hydrogen Bombshell, The Siege, Professor Rumbledore, Sly Davanita and The Ginger Assassin kept Kansas City fairly quiet in the second half.

The Chix jamming rotation was active beyond the starting three. Pink Diamond notched ten with 12:00 left to stretch the lead to 264-72. Molecular Mayhem added eight two jams later. Diamond posted an 18-0 strike on the bout’s penultimate jam.

The second verse was the same as the first as the locals posted an identical 152 points in the period. The Lunachix outscored Plan B 152-55 in the second to pick up the 198-point victory, notch their second straight win and improve to 3-1.

“We did not expect to (beat them) like that so badly,” said LeFaetal of the Chix dominance. “Maybe it was the home track advantage. Everyone on Kansas City’s team played hard and they were a lot of fun to play with, but tonight we were the better team.”

Nightmare finished the evening with 102 points to pace the Lunachix. Painguin and Ida added 73 and 70, respectively.

“It was my first Lunachix bout, so I was expecting it to be really difficult,” said Ida afterwards. “I don’t want to discount Plan B’s efforts, they did a really good job, but I was really impressed by our ability to work together.”

Painguin and The Siege, were designated by KCRW as Most Valuable Jammer and Blocker, respectively.

“Personally for myself, I feel like I’m growing by leaps and strides,” said Painguin.

The tally of Chix points marked the first time the squad had reached the 300-point milestone.

Most importantly, according to LeFaetal, all worries the Chix had prior to the first whistle were erased at the bout’s conclusion.

“It’s really important to me that, whether we win or lose, we have fun playing together,” said the co-captain. “You could see us recycling on the blockers and the jammers out there, working well together and just having a great time doing it. We did all those things tonight.”

The Saint Lunachix return to action at Midwest Sport Hockey on Saturday, May 4 as they host Ohio’s Gang Green.

UNOFFICIAL SCORING

ARRG SAINT LUNACHIX (304): EnYa Nightmare 102, Killer Painguin 73, IDA the Living Dead 70, Pink Diamond 33, Molecular Mayhem 26.

KANSAS CITY PLAN B (106): Ivanna Bereave 47, Bomb Pop 32, Chum Fiesta 18, Chupcabra 5, Sea Monstrosity 4.

Muckety Muck and Magilla Guerilla are bout co-announcers for the Arch Rival Roller Girls. Check back in this section on Mondays for the latest in ARRG news and information.