PLAYOFF POSITIONING ON THE LINE AT DOUBLEHEADER!
by the Grand Poobah, ARRG Bout Co-Announcer
According to Roman mythology, the month of January is named after Janus, god of the doorway.
After the final whistle is blown this Saturday night, the egress for one of ARRG’s local squads will reveal a number one seed for the post-season.
Competition will reach a fever pitch in ARRG’s last regular season bouts before February’s playoff round as the M-80s (1-1) and Rebel Skate Alliance (0-2) clash in the opening contest while the Stunt Devils (2-0) and the Smashinistas (1-1) tangle in the nightcap.
The doubleheader action takes place Saturday night at Midwest Sport Hockey at Queeny Park (570 Weidman Rd., Ballwin, MO). Doors open at 6:30 pm with the action beginning at 7 pm.
Tickets at the door on bout night are $15 cash only for general admission. Children 10 and under get in free. Save $3 online on advance tickets until Friday night by going to the Brown Paper Tickets’ LINK RIGHT HERE! Groups of 15 and more can get advance online tickets for only $10 apiece by going to THIS LINK RIGHT HERE!
For anyone that witnessed last month’s flat-track frenzy in person, they saw firsthand bouts that were dramatic from whistle-to-whistle. Expect the same this Saturday night!
This holds especially true for the M-80s, who were handed their first loss of the season last month in a four-point nail biter that was determined on the very last jam. The 136-132 setback to the Stunt Devils was especially difficult to swallow as they had held a pair of 20-plus point leads twice during the bout.
To steal from another sport, if the M-80s would have had a mulligan, they sure would have done certain things differently in the December bout. Yet, consider it a learning tool for the firecrackers. One can expect that the miscues will not occur again this Saturday.

Nightmare
M-80s’ jammer EnYa Nightmare – ARRG’s leader in league scoring – brings a 60-point per bout average into the contest. With a solid blocking core in front, she has been able to post multiple 20-point jams this season. Expect the claws to come out sharpened in Ballwin.
If Nightmare is snuffed, there’s plenty of depth at jammer to compensate. Munchausen by Foxy posted an intraleague personal best of 42 points last month. Co-captains Science Friction and Black Market Baby contributed solid numbers as well. ARRG Rookie of the Year May Require Stitches can also “don the star” in the jammer rotation.
The M-80s – the league’s leader in team scoring – have been a very impressive juggernaut this season due to its depth. This especially holds true in its blocking schematic, the aforementioned five contribute to the blocking alongside veterans The Siege and Bareknuckle Smack and youngsters Rhino Might, Sue Render and the Sound of Violence.
The red-clads literally saw their team color in anger last month in after the four-point heartbreaker. They vow not to let that happen again Saturday.
Meanwhile, last season’s defending champions are looking for a victory to add onto their travelogue. It’s been two difficult games thus far this season for Rebel Skate Alliance. Yet for a team whose roster has been whittled down to ten skaters, the future is optimistic due to progression in play.
Despite a 21-point loss to the Smashinistas last month, RSA showed why it should be considered a very dangerous 0-2 squad heading into Saturday’s match-up. The Rollin’ Rebs have shown that they are indeed capable of playing the type of “smart derby” that they are historically known for.

Party Foul
Modifications in December’s RSA line-up netted effective results. Jammer Stabby McCutcha – a blocker by trade – scored 36 points last month. Pink Diamond – an early candidate for 2012 ARRG Rookie of the Year – collected 35 while shaving off the number of minutes in the penalty box compared to the season opener. Chewblocka and Party Foul also added solid offensive numbers.
The RSA jammer rotation – much like their opponents Saturday – logs plenty of minutes in the blocking schematic. And one will give credit to the play of blockers Ginny Beastly, Beaster Bunny, The Oregon Betrayal and others who have all progressed very effectively.
Their 0-2 record is misleading. At halftime last month, RSA had a 27-point lead and had only committed one major penalty. A revisit to this clean, smart play could lead to a big victory at Queeny Park – a win which would shake the foundation of the league standings.
This conveniently segues into Saturday’s main event between the Stunt Devils and the Smashinistas – two teams who plan to put an exclamation point on the end of ARRG’s regular season.
The undefeated Stunt Devils opened eyes with their four-point come-from-behind victory last month at Midwest Sport Hockey. This talented team arguably dodged not one but two bullets in December’s bout to take the league’s top spot in the standings. Whereas last month they capitalized on opportunity, they look to finish the regular season perfect outright on their own terms this Saturday.

Shiner
Jammer Artemischief notched 65 points in the win over the M-80s last month. Mighty Mighty Boston and South City Shiner collected 36 and 28, respectively. Look for those three and the lethal Morgan LeFaetal to power the Stunts in the jammer rotation.
They’ll have plenty of bodies up front to open the holes for scoring. Blockers Grave Danger and Deathica Steele logged extremely high numbers last month. And veteran Mayor Francis Slayer pulled off a flat track rarity in December, blocking in 100% of jams competed (39-of-39). Add to this the compliment of Hydrogen Bombshell, Biohazard Betty, Toe Stop Belivin’ and Shacgyver, the Stunt Devils are a very powerful squad.
But in order to keep that undefeated streak intact, they have to go quad-to-quad against a very formidable opponent that tasted its first victory in quite some time last month.
The Smashinistas broke a long drought in December’s 21-point victory over RSA. The camo-clad troops had not tasted victory in 11 months. They liked that a lot – and they did it with multiple weapons in their arsenal.

Educator
Smashie veteran jammer The Educator pounded out 55 points in the win, followed by 30-point plus efforts from Downtown Dallis and Boom Boom Pow. All three will be looking to keep their solid averages high this Saturday night.
And if there was a combination to match the high jam percentages blocking-wise to the Stunts, then expect Eli Wallop, Shimmy Hoffa, Punches Pilup and PolkaDot Yr’ Eyeout to fill the duty. Also look for Shell Shoxx, Jezebelle, The Forecloser and others to also provide solid minutes as well.
This group is ready – and able – to participate in an all-out flat-track war. They know that the top of the league standings is well within their sights. In short, it’s “ready, aim, fire.”
The results of this weekend’s doubleheadeer will cement the seedings for February’s post-season push. Expect all four teams to battle for an advantage – the process won’t be easy.
While you’re here at Midwest Sport Hockey this Saturday, we encourage you participate in our charity raffle drawing that benefits Safe Connections, ARRG’s charity partner for the 2011-12 season. Last month, ARRG Nation collected close to $1,200 for the local non-for-profit. You can help out in our efforts again with a raffle for a pair of baskets containing plenty of schwag to get your new year started off right. Stop by the raffle table to see what you can win. Tickets are $1 apiece and six for $5.
After Saturday’s doubleheader, join ARRG at its official post-bout after party, held at Iggy’s Mexican Cantina (13645 Big Bend Road, Valley Park.) There are drink specials to be found and it’s a chance for you to catch-up and meet your favorite ARRG athlete. Remember, there’s no cover charge to participate!
So in reference to the aforementioned Janus and his doorway, which squad is bold enough to kick open the gateway and grab the coveted top seed? We’ll soon find out!
We’ll see you Saturday night at Midwest Sport Hockey for another exciting night of Arch Rival Roller Girls doubleheader action!
ARRG MAINTAINS #23 SPOT IN NATIONAL POWER RANKINGS
The Arch Rival Roller Girls All-Stars maintained its position in Derby News Network’s “Power Rankings” for January – holding steady at #23 nationally. The internationally-recognized derby news/information portal ranks WFTDA national flat-track derby squads on a monthly basis. ARRG was one of eight squads in the ultra-competitive WFTDA North Central region to make the Top 25 for the month. To see the full “Power Rankings” go to THIS LINK RIGHT HERE!
NEXT WEEK IN THE ARRG NEWSCENTER: We’ll see who grabbed the number one seed for the top seed for the 2012 post-season. We’ll recap both bouts from Ballwin!
The Grand Poobah and Magilla Guerilla are bout co-announcers for the Arch Rival Roller Girls. Check back in this section on Mondays for the latest in ARRG news/information!






