WINNERS DETERMINE TITLE BOUT AT CHAIFETZ!
by the Grand Poobah, ARRG Bout Co-Announcer
After three wild months of flat-track action, the post-season has arrived!
This Saturday night, the playoff round of the 2012 ARRG local season takes place at Midwest Sport Hockey (570 Weidman Rd., Ballwin, MO). In the opening bout of Saturday’s doubleheader, the top-seeded Stunts Devils (3-0) battle the fourth-seeded Rebel Skate Alliance (0-3). Following that match-up, the second-seeded M-80s (2-1) tangle with the third-seeded Smashinistas (1-2).
Doors open for the event open at 6:30 pm. The first whistle blows at 7 pm. Tickets are $15 cash only at the door. Children 10 and under get in free.
Save $3 per ticket by purchasing online at Brown Paper Tickets by following this link RIGHT HERE!
Groups of 15 or more can purchase tickets for as low as $10 apiece by going to this link RIGHT HERE!
Online sales continue until Friday late-night.
The winners of Saturday’s playoff round face each other in the title bout of the 2012 ARRG Local Championships, held at Chaifetz Arena in St. Louis on Saturday, April 28. The teams that suffer defeat in the doubleheader meet in the third place bout, also held at Chaifetz in April.
The four local squads have been extremely productive since ARRG’s last event three weeks ago. They all know full well that they have to play smart derby in order to reach the reach the local season’s marquee match-up.

Steele
Propelled by a powerful 67-point win three weeks ago at Midwest Sport Hockey, the playoff’s top seed showed why it should be considered an early favorite in the post-season. The Stunt Devils‘ 147-80 January win over the Smashinistas was the end result of consistency throughout the entire roster.
“We have a solid core pack, which is our veteran skaters,” said Stunt Devils’ co-captain Deathica Steele of her team’s complexion. “And our skaters who have not have as many years are getting a lot of time out there and adding to that core. That’s helped us a lot.”
Four Stunt jammers scored over twenty points apiece in the win. Mighty Mighty Boston recorded 56 points, while South City Shiner and Artemischief separately netted totals in the mid-30s. They’ll be joined out there Saturday by the hard-charging Morgan LeFaetal, who has improved her game as the season has progressed.

Bombshell
The blocking has been superb as well. The lynchpins of the Stunt blocking schematic – Steele, Grave Danger and Mayor Francis Slayer – have been complimented by the advanced work of Biohazard Betty, Hydrogen Bombshell, Shacgyver and Toe Stop Belevin’.
The Stunts have outscored their opponents in the regular season 395-289, including a 35-point win over RSA last November. It almost seems that the ladies in purple always find themselves in the championship bout yearly. Yet, they know they can’t rest on past successes in order to reach April’s tilt.
“We really grounded people,” said Steele. “We’re not arrogant at all. We just really love what we love to do and that can go a long way.”
And that collective coolness is imperative in Saturday’s battle against the league’s defending champions, who come into the post-season as a very dangerous fourth seed.
Despite its winless mark during the regular season, Rebel Skate Alliance is now showing the characteristics of a team that is peaking at the right time.

McFly
Depleted line-ups and reshuffling of responsibilities have defined RSA throughout the regular season run and, in reality, this has been beneficial. Once solely a blocker, Stabby McCutcha has now blossomed into a very effective jammer. She scored 40 points last month against the stubborn blocking of the M-80s.
Party Foul, another multi-positional threat, notched 44 points in January. Smarty McFly returned to RSA after a three-month absence solely as a blocker. The league’s leader in scoring in 2011 will no doubt “don the star” to help out the offense in the playoff round. Pink Diamond returns to the jamming rotation, bringing a 30-point per bout average to the table.

Beastley
Both Chewblocka and Beaster Bunny also took turns at jammer in January in order to experiment. That may not be necessary Saturday night, but it is a luxury to have nonetheless. Also look for blockers The Oregon Betrayal, Ginny Beastly, Bertha Venus and a host of others to battle the Stunts up front.
This group has surprised before. Remember, as an expansion franchise one year prior, the Rollin’ Rebs went undefeated and won it all. They very well could surprise many again this Saturday. And there have been times this regular season where the Stunts have shown their vulnerability, and conversely, RSA has shown its dominance.
If you’re a betting person, don’t look at this #1 vs. #4 match-up as safe money. You might be better served spending your cash on a raffle ticket Saturday…..but we’ll talk more about that later.
Meanwhile in Saturday’s other match-up, it’s firecrackers vs. camo in another flat-track frenzy.
The second seed ended the regular season on a high note. Despite a roster of only ten skaters, the M-80s continued its impressive offensive output in January. The 153-94 victory over RSA at Midwest Sport Hockey put the “cherry bomb” on top.

Friction
“We came out guns a blazing and played our hardest,” said co-captain Science Friction of the win.
Blazing would best describe the productivity of the M-80s in their three regular season bouts. The 148-points per bout average topped historical marks. Consider this…their benchmark in scoring was maintained last month without one of their normal jammers scoring a point.
This constitutes depth, which the M-80s have plenty of. Offensively in January, jammer Black Market Baby scored 86 points, a powerful return to form for ARRG’s 2010 Rookie of the Year. May Require Stitches and EnYa Nightmare also each posted 20 points-plus. Look for those three to once again make a scoring impact this Saturday night.

The Siege
But there’s also plenty to be found offensively with the other multi-positional M-80s. Munchausen by Foxy, Science Friction, The Siege and Rhino Might are also capable of scoring when needed. The blocking will the supplemented by vets Bareknuckle Smack and youngsters Sue Render and the Sound of Violence.
The legacy team of ARRG was on the outside looking in at last year’s championships. This regular season, they were very close to being undefeated. Seeding aside, the M-80s want to return to the title bout after a one year absence.
“We really want to play for the championship at Chaifetz,” said Friction. There’s no reason to doubt if you are a fan of the M-80s.
However, there is one obstacle in the way – an obstacle that wants to prove that is more than worthy of a trip to April’s championship bout.
The Smashinistas are the team that possesses enough firepower to shake up the post-season’s foundation. The talent is most definitely there. Saturday may be the night that they put that ammunition to good use.

Dallis
Jammer Downtown Dallis notched 53 points in January, which enabled her to finish first in the league’s regular season scoring. Her 50-plus-point per bout average has been commonplace and one shouldn’t expect anything different this weekend.
The Educator also finished the regular season strong, notching an average of 40 points per bout. Boom Boom Pow can also muscle her way into the scoring column Saturday with a solid effort.

Forecloser
But if there ever was an area to watch Saturday night for the Smashies, it would be the blocking schematic. The losses last month of all-star Shimmy Hoffa due to injury and the retirement of Jezebelle left two big voids to fill. All-star Eli Wallop will hold her ground and veterans Punches Pileup, PolkaDot Yr’ EyeOut, The Forecloser will also bring their experience to the battleground.
This could be the bout that we see some of the young talent of the Smashies step up and make a significant impact. Look for blockers Shell Shoxx, Harsha Punishment, Sly Davinita, Megalodominator and Harsha Punishment to get some important track time Saturday. They’ll be needed…and one can expect that they’ll deliver.
The Smashies would love to be the team this post-season that shuts the critics up. They come into Saturday’s match-up with a box full of duct tape, ready and willing to put said product over the mouths of the uneducated. This team means business…they look to give the M-80s “the business.”
All four flat-track franchises bring plenty of experience to the playoff dance. But adding to Saturday’s intrigue is the possible appearance by some of the talented rookies selected in the ARRG supplemental draft of late-January. All four teams drafted to meet their needs and spent their picks wisely. Could there be a new face that makes her initial debut this weekend at Midwest Sport Hockey and contributes to a post-season win?
While you’re here at Midwest Sport Hockey this Saturday night, we encourage you participate in our charity raffle drawing that benefits Safe Connections, ARRG’s charity partner for the 2011-12 season. ARRG is rapidly approaching its goal of raising $3,000 for the local non-for-profit. You can help us get closer to that mark. We’ll be having a raffle for a pair of baskets containing plenty of items, ranging from gift certificates from local merchants to tickets to upcoming bouts. Stop by the raffle table to see what you can win. Tickets are $1 apiece and six for $5.
After Saturday’s doubleheader, join ARRG at its official post-bout after party, held at Iggy’s Mexican Cantina in Valley Park (13645 Big Bend Road.) There are drink specials to be found and it’s a chance for you to catch-up and meet your favorite ARRG athlete. Remember, there’s no cover charge to participate!
Which two teams make it the title bout at Chaifetz and which two play in the undercard? We’ll find out this Saturday night!
EARLY REGISTRATION OPEN FOR ANNUAL TRIVIA NIGHT!
Registration for the fourth annual ARRG Trivia Night – held on Friday, February 24 in St. Louis – is now open for those wanting to register their table of ten players.
Go to this link at Brown Paper Tickets RIGHT HERE to reserve your table.
Here are the details for the event:
WHAT: 4th Annual ARRG Trivia Night
WHEN: Friday, February 24 at 7 pm (Doors open/registration at 6 pm)
WHERE: The German Cultural Society, 3652 South Jefferson, St. Louis, MO
COST: $20 per person (includes free beer, wine, soda and light snacks – no outside alcohol, please.) Tables of ten can be pre-registered for $200 per table.
Mark your calendars now for a fun night of competitive trivia action that feeds your brain…and helps ARRG.
LOCAL TEAMS ADD TO ROSTERS WITH DRAFT!
A combined nine new skaters joined the active rosters of the Arch Rival Roller Girls following a supplemental draft held last week in St. Louis. The mid-season draft is designed to fill rosters depleted to due to skater retirement. Draft order was determined by the regular season finishes of the four local squads.
With their first pick, Rebel Skate Alliance selected Eveready, a jammer/blocker who bring seasons of experience from the Southern Illinois Roller Girls of Marion, IL. Her skill set caught the eye of the RSA and her addition could be put to immediate use this Saturday at Midwest Sports Hockey.
With their first pick, the Smashinistas selected Brickyard, a multi-positional player who despite her minimal exposure to derby brings a solid portfolio of athletic experience. This includes endurance events, as she has qualified for the 2012 Boston Marathon. This hardcore commitment made her selection by the Smashies a priority, considering the lengthy stretches of play in a sixty minute bout.
Also in round one, the M-80s selected Kimical Burn, who spent two seasons with the CoMo Derby Dames of Columbia while the Stunts chose Dollyrot N, who impressed many with her solid work in the developmental scrimmages.
Here are the skaters selected in last week’s supplemental draft.
REBEL SKATE ALLIANCE: Eveready & Warpath-O-Jen
SMASHINISTAS: Brickyard & Boozie Steph
M-80s: Kimical Burn, Ginger Assassin & Blue Ridge Riot
STUNT DEVILS: Dollyrot N & Vod KaKnockers
Congratulations to the nine skaters for joining the ARRG roster!
NEXT MONDAY IN THE ARRG NEWSCENTER: We’ll see which teams face eachcother at Chaifetzcin April as we recap the bouts from Saturday’s double header!
The Grand Poobah and Magilla Guerilla are bout co-announcers for the Arch Rival Roller Girls. Check back in this section for the latest in ARRG news and information.












Midwest MEGAteam






