TWELVE MONTHS OF DERBY RECAPPED IN 3,300 WORDS!

by the Grand Poobah, ARRG Bout Co-Announcer – Photos by Bob Dunnell

Here at the ARRG Newscenter, we’ve never attempted to do a “Year in Review” column before.

The task seems daunting. After all, there was no true “off-season” this year for one of St. Louis’ hottest athletic franchises.

But perhaps that’s half the fun in compiling this reflection of the last twelve months. There is so much more to this league than just the scores on the flat-track.

With all aspects invested physically and mentally, the hard-working women (and men) of this league perpetually pushed its activity into full-throttle during 2011.

In short, it was business as usual.

A recap of the Arch Rival Roller Girls in 2011:

JANUARY

ARRG’s 2010-11 local season continued its whirlwind progression to kick off the new year. At the January 8 doubleheader at All-American Sports Mall, undefeated Rebel Skate Alliance utilized a 38-0 first-half run to pick up a 171-102 victory over the M-80s. The 70-point win netted RSA the top seed in the upcoming post-season playoff scramble. Smarty McFly scored 77 in the win for RSA while EnYa Nightmare clawed out 60 for the M-80s. In the nightcap, Downtown Dallis scored 49 points to help the Smashinistas gain a 93-73 victory over the defend champion Stunt Devils. The Smashies would earn the second seed with the 20-point win.

ARRG’s Saint Lunachix – the league’s traveling team of developmentals – picked up two road wins to start the first month of the calendar year. On January 9, the Chix hammered Springfield (MO) 286-67. Two weeks later, the Lunachix bested the CoMo Derby Dames 206-40 in Columbia, MO.

On January 15, ARRG held its third annual trivia night in Maplewood. Over 250 brainiacs competed in the multi-team, multi-round event that supported ARRG operational costs for the season. One lucky 50/50 drawing winner netted over $900 at the event.

Longtime local television producer/critic Aaron Mermelstein from St. Louis’ Higher Education Channel produced a feature on ARRG entitled “Heads of Skate.” The featured aired on HEC-TV and its website throughout the month.

ARRG made a return to the St. Louis Auto Show, held at America’s Center the weekend of January 28. Fans and first-timers were treated to multiple exhibition bouts as the weekend progressed. This marked ARRG’s second appearance with the yearly show, much to the dismay of your local KIA dealership.

FEBRUARY

For being one of the shortest months of the year, there was literally action on and off the flat-track perpetually in February.

The month saw the ARRG All-Stars – sporting a #11 ranking in the WFTDA North Central region – begin its 2011 campaign with a February 5 road trip to Indianapolis to face the Naptown Tornado Sirens, ranked sixth at the time of the match-up. In front of 3,500 at the Indianapolis Convention Center, St. Louis erased a 30-point first-half deficit and posted a 69-60 lead at intermission. The moral victory was short lived as Naptown pounded out power jam after power jam. A 92-38 second-half Naptown rebound handed ARRG a 152-105 season opening loss. Jammer South City Shiner topped ARRG scoring with 52 points.

Intraleague action continued on February 12 as ARRG began its two-event local playoff scramble at All-American Sports Mall in front of 1,000 fans. In first round action that featured re-matches from the prior month, top-seeded Rebel Skate Alliance topped the M-80s 146-99. The twin-attack of RSA’s McFly and Starry Starry Fight scored 64 and 58 points, respectively. In the other first round match-up, Dallis scored 53 points to pace the Smashinistas’ 87-58 victory over the Stunt Devils.

Media appearances continued for the league in February, including a front-page “Community” section feature in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch as well as appearances on KMOV-TV’s “Extra Edition,” Charter Cable’s “SIUE Global Village” and “STL Sportszone.” League members also assisted in an on-air wedding proposal that took place during a live broadcast of “Fox 2 News at 5 pm” on KTVI-TV.

The ARRG Jeerleaders hosted its “Mardi Gras Ball” on February 26 at the South Broadway Athletic Club in Soulard. A percentage of the proceeds from the event funded the pep squad’s activities in 2011.

ARRG charitable efforts continued in February with appearances at Heat Up St. Louis, the 8^th Annual Sports Trivia Championships, Big Brothers/Big Sisters Bowl for Kids’ Sake, the 2^nd Annual Bethany Place Fashion Show and a fundraiser for Boy Scout Troop 777 of Wood River (IL).

MARCH

The next round of the 2010-11 ARRG playoffs – held at All-American Sports Mall – saw the undefeated streak continue for the top seed while the remaining three squads scramble for an invite to the league’s championship bout. Rebel Skate Alliance cruised to April’s trophy bout with a 155-77 victory over the Smashinistas. Meanwhile, a bout-winning last jam by Artemischief helped the Stunt Devils best the M-80s 89-87 in the other playoff bracket. With identical playoff records of 1-1 for both the Smashies and the Stunts Devils in the post-season, a larger point differential from bouts played garnered the Stunts the other title bout berth.

The March 11 post-season doubleheader marked ARRG’s final event held at All-American, ending a five-year run at the venue.

The following weekend, the ARRG All-Stars logged the most miles ever traveled in one weekend with a trek to Colorado. On March 20, ARRG defeated WFTDA West Region #10 Pikes Peak 155-101 in Colorado Springs. The victory evened ARRG’s 2011 travel record to 1-1. During the weekend, the All-Stars also faced the B-teams from Western powerhouses Rocky Mountain and Denver, earning a split in the win/loss column.

Meanwhile back home, the Saint Lunachix rolled to 191-58 victory over the Rockford Rage to improve to 3-0.

ARRG was featured on “Spot TV St. Louis,” which aired on KDNL-TV throughout the month.

APRIL

A new venue was the site of the 2010-11 ARRG local championships. Over 1,000 derby faithful packed Ballwin’s Midwest Sport Hockey on April 9 to witness a changing of the guard within the league. A 62-point lead at the half was enough to ensure a league championship for the expansion Rebel Skate Alliance. The 131-53 victory over the Stunt Devils concluded an unblemished six-win inaugural campaign. Starry Starry Fight finished with 47 points for RSA, while Party Foul and Smarty McFly added 43 and 41, respectively. Morgan LeFaetal paced the runner-up Stunts with 21 points.

In the league’s third place bout, rookie May Require Stitches scored 75 points to help the M-80s top the Smashinistas 127-107, which would be their one lone victory of the 2010-11 season. Downtown Dallis paced the fourth-place Smashinistas with 66 points.

The travel squads continued their respective journeys in the month, posting a pair of wins in the Hoosier State. On April 23 in Evansville, IN, the ARRG All-Stars picked up its first North Central victory of 2011 – and its second straight – in a 198-68 victory over Demolition City while the Saint Lunachix improved to 4-0 with a 101-49 win over DCRD’s Destruction Dames.

The ARRG Rookie Rivals – a developmental squad of unrostered ARRG skaters – began its 2011 campaign with a 75-40 loss to the CoMo Derby Dames Wreckoning Crew in Columbia, MO on April 24.

ARRG also participated with the inaugural intraleague season for the STLGatekeepers – St. Louis first mens’ roller derby franchise. Throughout the mens’ season, ARRG skaters competed in theme-oriented match-ups under various aliases. Exhibition bouts included battles between “Hoosiers vs. Hipsters” and “Cougars vs. Kittens.”

MAY

The ARRG All-Stars broke into the WFTDA North Central Top 10 as the month began, climbing one spot to reach the tenth position. In defense of the climb, the All-Stars hosted #11 Ohio at Midwest Sport Hockey on May 14. Down 49-40 at intermission, ARRG turned on the jets in the second half, outscoring the Buckeyes 107-20 in the second half en route to a 147-69 win. Downtown Dallis scored 61 for the locals, who improved to 3-1. In the doubleheader’s opener, ARRG’s Saint Lunachix saw its record receive its first blemish of the season in a 215-103 loss to Springfield (MO). Black Market Baby scored 45 for the Chix, who dropped to 4-1.

The following weekend, ARRG collectively put together its best “A/B” punch in league history, picking up four collective wins at the second installment of Midwest Brewhaha in Franklin, WI. The ARRG All-Stars, riding high off the Ohio victory, posted wins over a pair of solid North Central squads. On day one of the invitational, ARRG raced out to a 45-point halftime lead en route to a 129-72 upset victory over then-ranked #9 Chicago Outfit. Downtown Dallis paced ARRG with 55 points. The next day, the All-Stars staved off a tough challenge from #15 Burning River. Despite an early deficit, a shutdown by the blocking schematic helped ARRG prevail over Cleveland’s best, 149-87. Boston netted 60 in the win for the All-Stars, who finished Brewhaha 2-0 while netting its fifth straight win to improve to 5-1 overall.

For the ARRG developmentals, the brew tasted smooth as well. A pair of wins for the Saint Lunachix as they topped the Brewcity Battlestars 166-85 and Mad Rollin’ Dolls Team Unicorn 200-92. Munchausen by Foxy scored 60 and Morgan LeFatael scored 68 in the respective wins. The two-bout sweep improved the team’s record to 6-1.

Riding high on the success of the 2010-11 local season, ARRG was featured in the May cover story of St. Louis Sports Magazine.

JUNE

The ARRG All-Stars continued their hard charge within the WFTDA North Central region on June 11 with a 181-40 win over #7 Northstar at Midwest Sport Hockey. The locals outscored the Supernovas 123-17 in the second half to pick up their sixth straight win. Mighty Mighty Boston stomped out 77 points and the blocking featured its most fluid work of the season. The attention-getting win over Northstar – supplemented by the overall region winning streak – helped ARRG steadily move up the North Central rankings ladder and positioned the squad into Derby News Network’s Top 25 Power Rankings for the first time since 2009.

Also at the June bout, the league presented a check to Girls’ Incorporated of St. Louis – ARRG’s charity partner for the 2010-11 season – for $2,200. The funds raised benefited the non-for-profit’s after school athletic and educational programs.

Off the flat-track during the month, the league raced for the cure, showed off its pride and grappled in gelatinous goop. On June 4, ARRG participated in the 13^th Annual Komen Race for the Cure held in downtown St. Louis. The event drew over 66,000 participants and raised $3 million locally. The league, along with the STL Gatekeepers, skated in the 31^st Annual Pride St. Louis Parade, held June 25 on Grand Avenue near Forest Park. The weekend event drew over 80,000 spectators. That same weekend, ARRG presented its most non-traditional fundraiser to date, a PG-rated “sports entertainment-style” jello wrestling event at FUBAR downtown. The monies raised helped ARRG travel expenses for the summer.

JULY

The Fourth of July weekend saw the ARRG Rookie Rivals pick up its first victory of the season in a 177-59 win in the inaugural bout of the Dark River Derby Coalition of Quincy, IL.

On the weekend of July 9, the three ARRG travel teams found themselves in the Windy City for a trifecta of bouts against the Chicago Outfit. In Saturday’s main event at Windy City Fieldhouse, the Syndicate avenged its May Brewhaha setback with a 164-104 whacking of the ARRG All-Stars. Lola Blow scored 73 points for the Syndicate, who stopped ARRG’s win streak at six with the victory. In the B-team opener, jammer Boom Boom Pow scored 66 points – all recorded in the second half – as ARRG’s Saint Lunachix topped the Outfit’s Shade Brigade 156-112. The next day, the ARRG Rookie Rivals scored its second win in as many weeks, besting the Chicago Outfit Shakedown 180-71.

Then on July 16, a stubborn blocking schematic helped the ARRG All-Stars get back on the winning track in a 137-59 home victory over North Central #14 Grand Raggidy at Midwest Sports Hockey. A 46-0 run to start the second half enabled ARRG to cruise to its seventh victory of the season. Mighty Mighty Boston picked up 63 points in the victory. In the doubleheader’s opener, the Saint Lunachix once again posted high numbers in a 205-49 victory over the Southern Illinois Roller Girls. Five different Chix scored double-digits in the winning onslaught, their fourth straight.

ARRG and the ARRG Jeerleaders presented the “Cheers to the Troops!” benefit at the South Broadway Athletic Club in Soulard on July 30. The event – featuring musicians, magicians, high-steppers, hula-hoopers, improve troupes…and burlesque – raised over $2,000 for the USO of Missouri, Inc.

AUGUST

ARRG travel teams split a pair of bouts in a cross-state road trip on August 13. The ARRG All-Stars fell to WFTDA South Central powerhouse Kansas City 146-80 in front of 2,000 at Municipal Auditorium. KCRW raced out to a 60-point lead at intermission to keep ARRG at bay. Kelley Young collected 55 points for Kansas City, who would go on to finish fourth at the WFTDA Championships later in the year.  ARRG was paced by Mighty Mighty Boston’s 45 points. In the opener, ARRG’s Saint Lunachix picked up its ninth win of the season with a 130-103 victory over KCRW’s Plan B.

One week later, multiple benchmarks were broken as the ARRG All-Stars jettisoned North Central #16 Sioux Falls 287-18 at Midwest Sport Hockey. ARRG set records for most points scored, fewest points allowed and margin of victory en route to its eighth victory of the season. A 97-0 first half scoring run set the tone in the match-up. Three different skaters posted over 70 points for All-Stars, which finished undefeated at home (4-0) in 2011.

Smashinistas and All-Star jammer Downtown Dallis is recognized nationally by the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association as its “Featured Skater of the Month.”

SEPTEMBER

On September 9 at Midwest Sport Hockey, ARRG hosted “Stop, Drop and Roller Derby,” a benefit for the West County EMS and Fire Protection District. The doubleheader night of derby action was highlighted by a competitive battle between ARRG’s Saint Lunachix and the St. Chux Derby Chix of St. Charles County. A 46-0 late first-half rally helped propel the Lunachix to a 138-98 win over SCDC. EnYa Nightmare scored 55 points for the Lunachix, who finished their 2011 campaign with a record of 10-1. G. I. Jamie collected 56 for SCDC, who one month later would achieve Apprentice Membership status into the WFTDA. 100% of the proceeds from “Stop, Drop and Roller Derby” went directly to the West County EMS and Fire Protection District.

The ARRG Rookie Rivals finished their 2011 campaign with a 2-2 record following a 173-48 setback to the St. Chux Derby Chix Hells Belles on September 24 in St. Peters.

OCTOBER

The ARRG All-Stars – now ranked eighth in the WFTDA North Central Region – returned to Indianapolis for “Monumental Mayhem,” the region’s post-season playoff on October 7. ARRG kicked off the Friday morning session with a 116-113 heart-stopping win over #9 Chicago Outfit in a bout that was determined on the final jam. Later in the day, the locals fell to top-seeded Windy City 200-82 and were sent into the consolation bracket. ARRG rebounded on Saturday with a 137-98 upset over #5 Cincinnati to advance to the fifth place bout. Donning “Gary F’n Sinise” jerseys for their rematch against Chicago Outfit on Sunday, ARRG was bested by the Syndicate 153-113 to finish sixth in the region. Overall, ARRG (10-5) finished five ranking positions higher in the North Central region from its January launch.

RSA Supreme Commander and ARRG All-Star Chewblocka is recognized as “2010-11 ARRG League MVP” at the annual awards ceremony on October 22. Also picking up awards were Mayor Francis Slayer (All-Stars MVP), May Require Stitches (Rookie of the Year) and Downtown Dallis (Local Season Fan Favorite). Over 40 awards were presented at “Blood, Bath and Beyond” to recognize the on-and-off-the-track efforts of league skaters and personnel in 2011.

ARRG released its 2011-12 season schedule which included the listing of the 2012 local league championships, to be held at St. Louis University’s Chaifetz Arena on April 28, 2012. The local finale marks the first time that ARRG will hold a local championship within the City of St. Louis.

NOVEMBER

On November 5, the 2011-12 local season kicked off at Midwest Sport Hockey with an impressive display by two of ARRG’s legacy squads. Paced by Artemischief’s 46 points, the Stunt Devils topped defending champs RSA 122-77. Newcomer Pink Diamond topped RSA scoring with 31 points. Meanwhile, EnYa Nightmare posted 76 points – 30 collected off of one power jam – to help the M-80s best the Smashinistas 159-133. Downtown Dallis scored 49 for the Smashies.

ARRG continued its community outreach efforts in the month with clean-up efforts at the Forest Park Forever Honeysuckle Removal Project and for MODOT’s Adopt-A-Highway Program. The league also participated in the 2^nd Annual Safe Connections Young Professionals Trivia Night and Art Attack, a benefit for KDHX radio.

Stunt Devils’ veteran and ARRG multi-year All-Star Grave Danger was featured as one of the “Top Singles of 2011″ in the November issue of St. Louis Magazine.

DECEMBER

Fans witnessed arguably the best double-header night of action in league history with a pair of knock-down drag-out bouts at Midwest Sport Hockey. With a 25-point power jam scored by Artemischief on the bout’s final jam, the Stunt Devils jumped into the standings lead with a 136-132 come-from-behind win over the M-80s. Munchausen by Foxy and EnYa Nightmare posted over 40 each to lead the M-80s in scoring. In the opener, a strong second-half scoring surge propelled the Smashinistas to a 123-102 win over RSA. The Educator posted 48 points to lead Smashie scoring while Stabby McCutcha collected 36 in a newfound jammer’s role.

Also at the December bout, a collaboration of efforts raised close to $1,400 in one night for a pair of local non-for-profits. Thanks to skater and team donations, matching contributions, a donation from a local  Lions’ Club and raffle participation by the fans, ARRG nation raised close to $1,200 for Safe Connections, the league’s charity partner for the season. $200 was also raised for Touchpoint Autism Services with the sale of XMAS ornaments created by league members.

The final weeks of the calendar year saw the league recognized nationally by the derby community with a pair of nominations in the annual Derby News Network’s Reader’s Choice Awards. The ARRG All-Stars were finalist for “Most Improved Team of 2011″ and its four-bout series against the Chicago Outfit was a finalist for “Best Rivalry of 2011″ category. Results for the year-end awards were being tabulated as of press time.

And there you have it….

Of course, this summation only highlights certain aspects of the league’s activities in the past calendar year. Keep in mind its involvement in the continuing development of derby of St. Louis goes well beyond what was listed here.

When one takes into consideration the planning, preparation and execution of all these items, one can see that involvement for those participating with the Arch Rival Roller Girls was truly a 24/7 effort in 2011.

In short it was a busy year…and we wouldn’t have it any other way.

For you – the ever-loving derby fan – we thank you for your patronage and support of the Arch Rival Roller Girls in 2011. We enjoyed the ride the last twelve months… and hopefully you did, too.

We look forward to the upcoming year and the treasures they bring. After all, isn’t the journey half the fun?

The Grand Poobah and Magilla Guerilla are bout co-announcers for the Arch Rival Roller Girls. Check back in this section on Mondays for the latest in ARRG news/information.

SMASHINISTAS USE POWER, NET 21-POINT WIN OVER RSA!

by the Grand Poobah, ARRG Bout Co-Announcer- Photos by Bob Dunnell

(BALLWIN, MO) For the 700 in attendance Saturday night at the Arch Rival Roller Girls’ interleague doubleheader, they definitely got their money’s worth regardless of team allegiance. Two bouts that had outcomes that weren’t determined until the end. Specifically for the nightcap, a bout that wasn’t determined even after the official period clock had expired.

In event two of the three-event regular season, the Smashinistas utilized a strong second-half scoring surge to top defending league champion Rebel Skate Alliance 123-102 while a bout-concluding 25-point power jam by Artemischief pushed the Stunt Devils over the M-80s 136-132.

As a result of their four-point win, the Stunt Devils improved to 2-0 and sit atop the league standings. Meanwhile, the Smashinisitas’ first victory of the season pushed them to a second-place tie with the M-80s overall.

Most in attendance would concur that – from whistle to whistle – this was the most-balanced ARRG doubleheader since switching to the two-bout format one season prior. All would have to agree that the four local squads brought their best efforts to the flat-track.

If anything, Saturday night’s event makes one anticipate the next set of bouts, scheduled for Saturday, January 14, 2012, at Midwest Sport Hockey.

SMASHINISTAS 123    REBEL SKATE ALLIANCE 102

Over the last two seasons, the Smashinistas on paper have contained one of the more impressive line-ups in ARRG history. Yet, most of 2011 saw the camo-clad troops on the wrong end of the scoring column due to league parity and unfortunate luck. In fact, one has to go back to Februrary to find the last Smashie “W”.

Consider that long drought over following the-21 point win over the defending league champions Saturday night that evened their record to 1-1.

“We did not want to go 0-2,” said jammer Downtown Dallis following the bout. “We prepared for this. We wanted this.”

But even with all that preparation, RSA – a squad missing two skaters, including high-scoring co-captain Smarty McFly, for the second straight bout – would not go down without a struggle.

In fact at one point during the first half, RSA seemed to be doing just fine with only ten skaters, half of which were new to the franchise this season.

The Smashinistas posted back-to-back four pointers by Dallis and The Educator off the first two jams to grab a quick 8-0 lead.

Following a 2-2 stalemate on the next jam to make the score 10-2, the Educator would race out in front and grab lead jammer for the Smashies. But after scoring nine points, the veteran was sent off for a track cut. The ensuing  non-lead powerjam for RSA enabled Chewblocka to score 13 points and whittled the Smashie lead to 19-15 at the 23:20 mark.

Then after cutting the lead down to 21-18 one jam later, RSA’s Pink Diamond posted a four-pointer to give the defending champs its first lead of the night, a 22-21 RSA edge with 19:40 remaining.

A ping-pong of points tied the score 26-26 two jams later. RSA’s Stabby McCutcha and Diamond would notch back-to-back treys to build up a 32-26 advantage. The Smashies’ Educator utilized a 9-3 strike two jams later to tie the score at 35-35 with 12:00 left in the first half.

After a pair of scoreless jams, Boom Boom Pow notched five points for the Smashinistas, who grabbed a 40-35 lead.

And that would be the final points scored by the Smashies for the half…which unfortunately for them still had 9:00 remaining.

By capitalizing on a pair of power jams, RSA went on a 32-0 run in the latter stretches of the first half. McCutcha’s eight-point powerjam at the 8:00 mark resulted in another lead change – a 43-40 edge for RSA, which was followed by Diamond’s 14-point tally two jams later to extend the lead to 61-40.

In short, the Smashie guns were silenced due to self-inflicted penalties. At intermission, RSA possessed a 67-40 lead.

“They were being very opportunistic tonight,” said Dallis of the late-half RSA charge. “They’re unpredictable and that’s what really threw us off. In fact, we weren’t ready for it.”

So, what to do when it seems like the wheels are stuck in slow motion?

“We came up with a plan,” said Dallis.

And in this case, it would be a trip to the “Smashie School of Hard Knocks,” instructed by The Educator, who cut the deficit to 67-45 with a five-pointer scored to begin the second half.

“She went hard at people,” said Dallis of her teammate. “She was confident and that really inspired us to be more aggressive and attack. We really rely on her to make a lot of things happen and we rely on her to bring us that momentum.”

And that momentum resulted in a 29-0 run for the Smashies as the half progressed. Dallis notched separate scores of four and five points to chip the lead down to 67-54 five minutes into the second half.

Then with 24:15 left in the half, RSA found itself in penalty purgatory. A power jam ensued, which enabled the Smashies’ Pow to notch a ’15-point punch.

And just like that, the RSA lead had been obliterated. Thanks to a stubborn blocking schematic paced by Eli Wallop, Shimmy Hoffa, Punches PileUp, Shell Shoxx and a host of others, the Smashies now sported a 69-67 advantage…and still had plenty of ammunition to potentially fire.

Following a three-pointer by the Educator, another RSA misstep resulted in another power jam for the Smashinistas. This time, Dallis collected 18 points to extend the lead to 90-68 with 18:50 left.

Then following an exchange of points that made the game a 95-75 teaser, RSA would again hand the Smashies a power jam situation. The Educator posted 19 to stretch the lead to 114-75 with 13:15 left.

Undaunted, RSA kept pace and posted a 27-9 run down the stretch, propelled by a McCutcha 8-point power jam with 10:00 remaining.  Although they had pulled to within 25 points with 7:30 left – the gap was too much to overcome as the Smashies utilized effective clock management and preserved a “blackjack-point” margin of victory.

The Smashinistas outscored RSA 83-25 in the second half to grab the 21-point win and even its record to the .500 mark. Unofficially, Educator paced the victors with 48 points scored followed by Dallis’ 44 and Pow’s 31-point effort.

More importantly for the Smashinistas, the victory gave the squad a morale boost heading into an imperative match-up next month against the Stunt Devils, the leader of the local standings.

“I have never seen the Smashies more motivated than what I saw after the game,” said Dallis. “We celebrated for a very short time and then we immediately began to focus.”

And one would have to believe that that focus is going to be very intense as the weeks progress.

Conversely, one would have to agree that the efforts of Rebel Skate Alliance were far superior compared to its season opening sputter. Modifications to the rotation and a newfound jammer in McCutcha pushed the 10-skater roster in a positive direction.

RSA (0-2) was unofficially paced by McCutcha’s 36 points, followed by Diamond’s 35.

UNOFFICIAL SCORING

SMASHINISTAS – The Educator 48, Downtown Dallis 44, Boom Boom Pow 31

RSA – Stabby McCutcha 36, Pink Diamond 35, Chewblocka 17, Party Foul 15

STUNTS DEVILS 136    M-80s 132

“From the souls of your feet, with every ounce of blood you’ve got in your body, lay it on the line until the final whistle blows.” - quoted from the motion picture, “We Are Marshall” (2006).

A long-term rivalry was renewed in a bout that would net the victor the top spot in the league standings.

“We knew going into this game that the M-80s are a really strong team,” said Stunt Devil jammer/blocker Artemischief of the match-up of unbeatens. “They looked fantastic last game. We knew that they were going to be a super tough, but we knew that we were strong, too.”

It resulted in a barnburner that took numerous twists and turns for the entire sixty minutes…and then some.

Both teams fired volleys to start the first half and defensive blocking held the offenses at bay. Points were collected few and far between as the M-80s built up a 14-10 lead ten minutes into the bout.

Then a veteran firecracker popped the first scoring explosion of the bout as M-80s’ co-captain Science Friction capitalized on a Stunt jamming miscue and raced out to a power jam. A 20-point tally ensued and extended the M-80s’ lead to 34-10 with 19:10 remaining.

The Stunts retaliated with a power jam of their own. Artemischief’s 12-point counterstrike at 16:30 whittled the lead to a dozen points, 34-22.

The M-80s methodically built a comfortable lead as the half progressed. A strong wall of blocking provided by May Require Stitches, Vandetta Vango, The Siege, Rhino Might and a host of others allowed the ladies in red to build up points at a 2-1 ratio – a 36-18 run resulted in a 70-40 M-80s’ advantage with under 2:00 left in the half.

Or at least it was a comfortable lead, until the final jam of the first half.

In a rare moment of miscommunication, the M-80s failed to send a jammer out onto the track. Once the whistle blew to start the jam, the M-80s would be forced to skate the entire jam jammerless. The omission gave a free jam to the Stunts which resulted in an 18-point mosh by Mighty Might Boston, which narrowed to the M-80s’ lead to 70-58 at intermission.

Boston started the second half by scoring four to whittle the deficit to eight, 70-62. Then following a 4-2 jam by the M-80s to make the score 74-64, South City Shiner posted a five-point strike for the Stunts, chipping away the lead to 74-69 with 25:00 remaining.

With the margin reduced to five points, the M-80s proceeded to barrel out a 15-0 run over the next two jams in order to give the leaders some breathing room. EnYa Nightmare scored twelve and Black Market Baby followed with three to extend the M-80s lead to 89-69.

Shiner countered for the Stunts and posted eight on the next jam to whittle the lead to a dozen points, 89-77 with 18:40 remaining.

As the middle stretch of the second half progressed, the M-80s used a 19-7 run to stretch the lead to 108-84.

Then with 11:00 remaining, the seeds were planted for a sprint to the finish, paced by the Stunts’ Artemischief. The ARRG veteran scored five with 9:30 left to cut the gap to 108-89.

Then by utilizing the open lanes created by blockers Mayor Francis Slayer, Grave Danger, Deathica Steele and others, she posted another 18 on the next jam, which made the bout an one-point affair, 108-107 with 7:15 remaining.

The M-80s would stop the surge with a pair of four-pointers collected by Nightmare, which extended the lead to 116-107 with 4:20 left.

Black Market Baby then capitalized on a Stunts’ jamming miscue, resulting in a power jam for the M-80s. A 14-point strike was delivered by the co-captain and gave the M-80s a 130-111 lead at the two-minute warning.

The Stunts grabbed lead jammer status on the next jam, but failed to gain points due to the stubborn M-80s blocking schematic. As result, the deficit for the Stunts was still 19 points with :35 left on the official period clock and Artmischief donning the star for the bout’s final jam.

“There’s two things you have to do when you’re down by that many points at the end,” said the Stunt anchor of the scenario. “You have to make the other jammer foul and you have to get lead.”

And that’s precisely what happened.

After Artemischief gained lead jammer for the Stunts with under :30 remaining on the official period clock, a pair of M-80 skaters – including its jammer – were sent to the penalty box.

The Stunt Devils’ power jam culminated as the official period clock reached gooseeggs, yet 1:25 remained on the jam clock, which gave the Stunts plenty of time to slash at the lead…and mash the hard-fought efforts of the M-80s.

Artemischief proceeded to post grand slam after grand slam. Altogether, five full laps against the opposition netted a 25-point counter-clockwise clobber on the bout’s final jam. What was once a 19-point Stunt deficit transformed into a four-point Stunt victory.

In reference to the opening line of the recap, the Stunts had indeed “laid it on the line until the final whistle blew.” The 136-132 come-from-behind victory enabled the Stunts to grab sole possession of first place in the league standings.

“That was fun….I miss jamming!” beamed Artemischief, who finished unofficially with a team-high 65 points. “Everything fell into place. This helps gives us the confidence that we need and it gives us a good idea of what we need to do going into training.”

Boston added 36 and Shiner collected 27 for the Stunts, who improved to 2-0.

However, one could argue that the Stunt Devils dodged a bullet…not once, but twice in this bout. Granted, the team brought the “pitchfork-itude” needed to poke its way to victory. But conversely, the M-80s’ meltdown on the last jam of each period surely helped matters.

Suffice to say that even with the win, the Stunts can’t get too cocky heading into next month’s battle with the Smashinistas.

“We know there are some things that we’re going to have to work on,” said Artemisichief of the January 12 event. “We’re going to spend the next couple of weeks sharpening those tools and we’re going to come out fighting.”

And one now knows that will fight will go on until the final whistle blows.

Unofficially, Munchausen by Foxy paced the M-80s – who dropped to 1-1 in the standings – with 45 points followed by Nightmare’s 35.

UNOFFICIAL SCORING

STUNT DEVILS – Artemischief 65, Mighty Mighty Boston 36, South City Shiner 27, Morgan LeFaetal 8

M-80s – Munchausen By Foxy 45, EnYa Nightmare 39, Science Friction 27, Black Market Baby 18, May Require Stitches 3

NEXT WEEK IN THE ARRG NEWSCENTER: You’ve read the x’s and o’s of what occurred this past weekend! Now we’ll analyze the flat-track mayhem. We’ll get down and dirty with ARRG bout co-announcer Magilla Guerilla as he reflects on a dramatic night of doubleheader derby with another installment of “Guerilla Uncaged.”

The Grand Poobah and Magilla Guerilla are bout co-announcers for the arch Rival Roller Girls. Check back in this section on Monday for the latest in ARRG news/information.