BATTLE OF UNBEATENS HEADLINES DOUBLEHEADER!
by the Grand Poobah, ARRG Bout Co-Announcer
This Saturday night, the Arch Rival Roller Girls return to the flat-track for another hard-charging night of action!
This weekend’s doubleheader features a power struggle between two ARRG legacy teams, a donnybrook between teams looking for redemption, a skater’s yuletide charitable sprint and a visit from the big man!
In short, it’ll be a December to remember!
The two-bout tilt takes place at Midwest Sport Hockey at Queeny Park (570 Weidman Rd., Ballwin, MO.) Doors for the event open at 6:30 pm. The first bout begins at 7 pm.
Tickets are $15 cash only at the door. Children 10 and under get in for free.
Save $3 a ticket by purchasing online in advance at BROWN PAPER TICKETS at THIS LINK RIGHT HERE!
Groups of 15 or more can save $5 a ticket by purchasing online in advance at THIS LINK RIGHT HERE!
As 2011 winds down on the calendar, one will conversely see the competition” wind up” as the four local squads jockey for position in the league standings.
In Saturday’s first bout, a grudge between two squads looking for their first “W” of the season takes place as Rebel Skate Alliance (0-1) faces the Smashinistas (0-1). Following that match-up, a battle of unbeatens ensues as the Stunt Devils (1-0) face historical arch enemy the M-80s (1-0).
Both bouts promise to contain plenty of drama and the results will undoubtedly change the complexion of what has literally become a sprint for playoff positioning. With only a three-event regular season on the ARRG docket, every battle becomes an important one – a “must-win” to be more direct.
That “must-win” situation faces the two squads in our opener. Last month at Midwest Sport Hockey, a depleted roster and penalty trouble cursed ARRG defending champion Rebel Skate Alliance. With only ten skaters in the line-up, RSA saw its undefeated franchise record come crashing to Earth like Skylab in a 35-point loss to the Stunt Devils on November 5. Without key veterans Smarty McFly – last season’s scoring leader – and SueShe in the fold, RSA were forced to re-arrange its jamming/blocking rotations.
There were, however, bright moments for RSA in the loss. Newly acquired skater Pink Diamond paced RSA scoring with 31 points while Party Foul crashed in 28. ARRG 2011 MVP Chewblocka also donned the star for RSA, notching 18 points in the newfound role.
With McFly slated to return this Saturday, expect the jamming rotation to be more balanced, which will give Foul and Diamond more opportunities to contribute to the blocking schematic. Blocker Stabby McCutcha – who had a solid first bout – will look to contain the opposition while Ginny Beastly, Beaster Bunny, the Oregon Betrayal and a host of others will continue to contribute in front.
This team will be more complete this weekend compared last month. In fact, one might be surprised with the results! Yet, the task will be difficult against a team that has not tasted victory in quite a long time.
The Smashinistas are arguably one of the best squads of ARRG the last two seasons, yet a combination of league parity and unfortunate timing has resulted in a winless streak that dates back to February. Last month, the camo-clad troops fell to the M-80s 159-133 in a topsy-turvy bout that was highlighted by 14 lead changes.
In the loss, jammer Downtown Dallis paced the Smashies with 69 points while The Educator added 44. Second year jammer Boom Boom Pow contributed 20 in a constant jammer role. All three will once again provide the firepower this Saturday.
The blocking up front will once again be primed by Eli Wallop and Shimmy Hoffa with help from Jezebelle, Polka Dot YrEyeout, The Forecloser, Punches Pileup, Shell Shoxx and a host of others. Expect all to log many minutes Saturday night, for a balanced blocking schematic will be imperative to victory.
If there’s one thing to predict about the Smashies, it’s that they are really tired of strong efforts hampered by late-bout penalty miscues. Expect the infractions to be cleaned-up. They savor victory – it is well within their reach.
At the end of this battle, one team will have successfully rebounded from a season-opening loss and will put themselves back into prime playoff position as the shortened regular season continues.
Meanwhile in the second bout, two squads will renew a long-term franchise rivalry. Although the faces have perpetually changed through the ARRG years, Saturday night’s battle between purple and red writes a new chapter in the history books. Perhaps this addition could be the most exciting one yet!
Last month, the Stunt Devils utilized its most productive blocking schematic to date in the win over RSA. Thanks to the blocking of Mayor Francis Slayer, Grave Danger, Artemischief, Deathica Steele, Hydrogen Bombshell, Biohazard Betty and others, the Stunts kept the defending champions to a miniscule 18 halftime points last month – a number almost unheard of in intraleague derby.
This was key in dictating the pace and complexion for the season-opening win. “Shut the competition down early and capitalize” was the mantra. In hindsight, it worked beautifully. For a victory this Saturday night, the same methodology must be implemented.
As a supplement to the stingy Stunt defense in bout one, the scoring was balanced as well. Artemischief capitalized on powerjams to notch 47 points. Mighty Mighty Boston and Morgan LeFaetal powered out 26 and 24 points respectively while South City Shiner added 15. All four will look to add on to their numbers this weekend.
On paper, this squad looks solid. A fast start is needed again Saturday to propel the two-time champions to the top of the ARRG standings totem pole.
They face a squad that really opened eyes at the season opener – the M-80s. Long term fans of the firecrackers felt good following a bout one win of 26 points, and for good reason. A high point total was something that had not been witnessed in a long time.
Jammer EnYa Nightmare posted a 30-point jam en route to 76 points scored in the victory. Black Market Baby added 35 while 2011 ARRG Rookie of the Year May Require Stitches contributed 33. In all, five M-80 skaters contributed points to the column while simultaneously blocking up front in various rotations.
Science Friction, Vandetta Vango, Munchausen by Foxy, Bareknuckle Smack and a host of others provided to the balanced attack with the blocking. If anything, this was arguably one of the best well-rounded team efforts in the franchise’s history. This will once again be the prerogative for the ladies in red Saturday night.
On an interesting side note for this bout, Nightmare has raised the stakes in the name of charity. The M-80 vet announced this week that she will donate $1 for every jam point she scores Saturday night to Safe Connections of St. Louis, ARRG’s charity partner this season.
Now go back in this column three paragraphs and read the first sentence………..
You read it right. Nightmare posted 76 in the season opener, 30 off one jam. There is the possibility of that happening again. And you can bet that her blockers would love to open up the holes in order to get the offering fast out of the gates.
Another member of the ARRG family and a local business has also announced that they will match Nightmare’s donation for the evening. Long story short, the contribution could potentially become bountiful to Safe Connections Saturday night.
But back to team priorities’ first: the winner of Saturday’s battle of unbeatens will make a hard charge to grab the number one seed for the post-season, which will see its 2012 league championships held at Chaifetz Arena in April. No doubt, both squads will come out of the gates firing to grab the advantage.
While at Midwest Sport Hockey this Saturday night, check out the areas that will benefit area non-for-profits. Once again, a pair of prize baskets will be drawn in ARRG’s charity raffle drawing that benefits Safe Connections of St. Louis. ARRG’s goal is to raise $3,000 this season for one of the oldest and largest locally-founded agencies serving survivors of domestic and sexual violence in the St. Louis region. Items in the raffle baskets include ARRG schwag and tickets, as well as gift certificates and merchandise from our local sponsors. Tickets for the charity raffle are $1 each – or for a better value and for a greater chance of winning – six for $5. Visit the charity raffle table and see what you could win.
ARRG is also selling special collectible ornaments that benefits Touchpoint Autism Services. These handmade ornaments were created by members of ARRG and proceeds from Saturday’s sale go directly to this hard-working non-profit that supports area children, adults and their families affected by autism. Stop by and add that piece of XMAS cheer to the tree!
If you’re bringing the children to the family-friendly derby action (kiddos love the derby!), there’s plenty for them as well! The ARRG Jeerleaders will once again be setting up a special area for the young ones where they can make their own derby art! Plus, good word has it that a special guest from the North Pole will also be making his way to join in on the fun!
Following Saturday’s bouts, continue the good times by coming out to ARRG’s official post-bout after-party, held at Iggy’s Mexican Cantina in Valley Park (13645 Big Bend Road.) There are drink specials to be found and it’s a chance to catch-up and meet the ARRG athletes. Remember, there’s no cover charge to participate!
In summation, ARRG wishes you “Seasons Greetings,” but as Saturday night progresses, “Seasons Beatings” will be given by all four squads…and they wouldn’t have it any other way!
We’ll see you this Saturday night for Arch Rival Roller Girls’ roller derby action!
NEXT MONDAY IN THE ARRG NEWSCENTER: A recap of this Saturday’s doubleheader. Who remains undefeated…and conversely winless? How do the standings shape up? How much coin did EnYa donate to Safe Connections? We’ll have all the answers right here.
The Grand Poobah and Magilla Guerilla are bout co-announcers for the Arch Rival Roller Girls. Check back in this section on Mondays for the latest in ARRG news/information.