PLUS: PARTIES, PIN-UPS, TRIVIA & TRAFFIC IN FULL SWING!
by the Grand Poobah
Whereas you might be sending others “Seasons Greetings” the next couple of weeks, this Saturday four ARRG intraleague squads will look to offer eachother “Seasons Beatings.”
ARRG presents its next doubleheader event of the 2010-11 season this Saturday, December 4 at the All-American Sports Mall (11133 Lindbergh Business Ct, St. Louis, MO). Doors open at 6:30 pm. Bouts begin at 7pm.
You can purchase advance online tickets for $3 off the door price by going to Brown Paper Tickets RIGHT HERE!
Saturday’s first match-up will feature a battle of unbeatens as ARRG defending champions the Stunt Devils (1-0) put their seven-bout winning streak on the line against Rebel Skate Alliance (1-0). In the evening’s final tilt, the Smashinistas (0-1) and the M-80s (0-1) battle for their first victory of the season.
The Stunts overcame a major roadblock three weeks ago at the All-American in a physical match-up with the M-80s. A hard-charging second half resulted in a 111-71 win for the purple-clad rollers.
High-octane jammer Artemischief led the Stunts last month with 48 points while youngster Mighty Mighty Boston had a breakthrough bout, scoring 36 points off eight lead jams.
The Stunts were able to survive without the presence of all-star blocker Grave Danger, who went down with an season-ending injury days before the match-up. This meant additional minutes logged by veterans Mayor Francis Slayer, Deathica Steele and Danikka Doom.
They’ll see plenty of additional time on the flat track this Saturday as they face a squad that is “sky high.”
Rebel Skate Alliance impressed ARRG Nation in their inaugural bout three weeks ago, posting a 103-76 win over the Smashinistas. Second half dominance also played a part in their victory.
RSA Jammer Starry Starry Fight returned to fine form after a brief sabbatical, posting 40 points in the win. ARRG newcomer Party Foul crashed the Smashies’ shindig and collected 35 points while the returning Smarty McFly scored 28.
If anything, RSA played “smart derby” in their launch, keeping penalties to a minimum while utilizing effective offensive schematics from blockers Chewblocka, Domme E. Nation and The Bevo Kill.
Expect the RSA’s to use their “noggins” and use them well. This team proved opening night that they’re pretty doggone good!
It will be an interesting match-up with skaters familiar with each other – literally. Five current “Rebs” are former Stunt Devils. If any team would know how the Stunts operate the best, it would be RSA.
In this highly anticipated match-up, expect the outcome to be close….dangerously close.
The same could be said of Saturday’s Smashinistas/M-80s duel. If you ask both squads, they’ll probably admit that they were their own worst enemies on opening night.
Late-bout penalties hurt their chances to start the season with a victory. Both squads know that it can’t happen again in this battle.
In their first bout, The Smashinistas found a majority of their points with top-notch performances from jammers Punches Pileup and Downtown Dallis, who scored 30 and 25 points respectively against Rebel Skate Alliance.
Shimmy Hoffa had a solid debut with the Smashies, collecting 11 points in her rookie effort.
And look for the firepower to continue with efforts from The Educator, Davy Blockitt and Eli Wallop.
It’s a team that’s on the cusp of a major breakthrough – expect them to go for the jugular early.
However, the M-80s – even saddled with injuries – are not a team to be taken lightly.
Jammer May Require Stitches made an early bid for ARRG Rookie of the Year, posting 22 points in her debut against the Stunt Devils. Black Market Baby contributed 18 points while EnYa Nightmare added 15.
But while two youngsters (Stitches/BMB) might provide a high percentage of the offense Saturday, look for the wily firecrackin’ veterans (Nightmare, Joanie Rollmoan, Siege, Science Friction) to make their presence known.
This could be the match-up where we see an unexpected surprise make a huge impact. Could The Forecloser of the Smashies issue the opposition a “Chapter 13″? Perhaps Munchausen by Foxy can provide the M-80s a little additional moxie?
One thing is for certain – a win Saturday will immediately net one of these squads a tie for second place in the ARRG season standings.
Neither team can afford a loss. This one should be fun!
If anything this Saturday, ARRG will present to you an early XMAS present, another great night featuring St. Louis’hottest athletic alternative.
We’ll see you there !
ANNUAL ARRG TRIVIA NIGHT ANNOUNCED
A winter tradition returns as ARRG presents its annual trivia night.
WHAT: Annual ARRG Trivia Night, featuring cash prizes and a silent auction.
WHEN: Saturday, January 15, 2011 – 7 PM (Doors/registration 6 pm)
WHERE: Immaculate Conception Catholic Church, 2934 Marshall, Maplewood, MO
PRICE: $20/person, which includes FREE unlimited beer, wine, soda and light snacks (Outside food okay, but please, no outside alcohol).
You can either register yourself or your table of up to 10 players by contacting ARRGEvents@gmail.com. If registering a full team, your registration will not be accepted until payment is received.
It is encouraged that you pre-register your table early and avoid lines at the door on event night.
Test your knowledge in categories covering a wide variety of subject matter. Mulligans will be available for purchase to help your team’s score as well as “Ask Bertha,” where one of ARRG’s own will confirm if your answer is correct/incorrect. And if you are a solo participant looking for a team, you can easily join another table and compete. (Poobah’s note: Truth be told, it worked for me last time out!)
Join us on Saturday, January 15 and support ARRG’s funding of events in the 2010-2011 season.
ARRG ANNUAL XMAS PARTY FOLLOWS DECEMBER BOUTS
Another annual ARRG tradition arrives in less than two weeks and if you’re at December’s doubleheader, this one’s easy to find.
Along with the normal revelry found at the post-bout after parties, the ARRG XMAS party will also feature:
- A “Sexy Santa” Contest
- An “Ugly XMAS Sweater” Contest
- “Spin the Wheel” for beverages, prizes and SPANKS!
- Kisses for $1 from participating ARRG skaters
- The Jolly Man Himself handing out “Secret Santa Presents” and taking pictures.
- A Special Performance from the ARRG Jeerleaders
- Another edition of “Where’s U.S. Marshall?” – where the first 20 fans who find ARRG’s reigning “Most Spirited” and say the secret password win a free beverage.
All this and more for no additional cost to you – a member of the ARRG lovin’ public.
It will be the best XMAS party you’ll attend this holiday season.
BILLBOARD ON I-55 BECOMES ARRG DERBY ALIVE!!!
I’ll show my age by paraphrasing comedian Joe Piscopo when he used to bellow the sports report during “Weekend Update” on “Saturday Night Live” in 1983:
“THE BIG STORY…ST. LOUIS…55…ARSENAL…DERBY…ARRG…BILLBOARD…BIG!!!”
ARRG BEAUTIES FEATURED IN 2011 CALENDAR!
I know that a healthy percentage of the readers online consist of women. So ladies, let me make a recommendation on a great XMAS gift to give to your significant other.
Buy a calendar this holiday season that features “real women” – not augmented, airbrushed, photo-shopped floozies who couldn’t articulate the difference between an “f-stop” and an “iHop”.
In all seriousness, you’ll be helping out a great cause in the process when you purchase one of these.
The 2011 Pin Up and Pups Mutts-N-Stuff Calendar, featuring the Arch Rival Roller Girls, are now available online RIGHT HERE!
Showcasing the professional work of Lynn Terry Photography, the ladies of ARRG and some fun, furry friends (all rescues who went on to loving homes), the 2011 calendar features a 1950′s-style theme with a contemporary twist.
All proceeds from the sale of the calendars benefit Mutts-N-Stuff, a St. Louis-based rescue group that is dedicated to rescuing any domesticated species of animal, with emphasis on “bully-type” breeds such as Pit Bull Terriers, Rottweilers and American Staffordshire Terriers.
Order your 2011 calendar now and see the Arch Rival Roller Girls every day of the year!
NEXT WEEK IN THE ARRG NEWSCENTER: Saturday’s bouts feature a battle of unbeatens and two squads who look to even their records. We’ll reflect on how the evening went with recaps of both bouts.
When not fighting over the last piece of pumpkin pie, The Grand Poobah and Hells LaBelle are bout announcers for the Arch Rival Roller Girls. Check back in this section on Monday for the latest in ARRG news and information.