Archive for June, 2010




by the Grand Poobah

The countdown is on for ARRG’s 2010 League Championship, to be held Saturday, July 10 at the All-American Sports Mall in St. Louis.

If you do not have your tickets yet for the $10 doubleheader bout – featuring the 2010 title bout between the Stunt Devils and the Smashinistas, as well as an interleague exhibition by the STLGatekeepers mens roller derby league – you should not wait one minute longer.

Fans were turned away at the door the last time ARRG featured this type of cross-league event. You don’t want to miss out on the high-impact experience this time out.

Avoid the frustration. Get your individual tickets now through Brown Paper Tickets at this link RIGHT HERE!

Also when ordering online, if you have a group of 15 and more derby lovin’ fanatics, your group is eligible for a group rate of $8 per ticket. Think about it…if you have a group of 15, an online purchase of tickets in advance can save your group $30.

Group online ticket sales can be purchased at a discount through this Brown Paper Tickets link RIGHT HERE!

As an additional incentive, this bout will also feature a $2 discount for members of the military, as well as those who are employed by area police and fire departments with proper identification. Area EMTs are also available for this $2 discount. In short, if you serve and protect – thanks to ARRG – you get in for $8!

Also, as with all of ARRG’s bouts in the 2010 season, children 10 and under can attend the bout for free.

Do we want a sellout on July 10???? Oh you bet your sweet bippy!!!!



by the Grand Poobah

As we gear toward the July 10 championship bout, let’s look back at some of the numbers for the intraleague regular season for ARRG.

The following statistics are cumulated from the six 2010 intraleague bouts only. Points accumulated through all-star and developmental bouts do not apply. Much thanks to the skating and non-skating officials of ARRG for their top-notch efforts to record statistics in the 2010 season.


  1. Starry Starry Fight Stunt Devils 151
  2. The Educator Smashinistas 146
  3. Artemischief Stunt Devils 116
  4. Black Market Baby M-80s 111
  5. Punches Pileup Smashinistas 111
  6. South City Shiner Stunt Devils 83
  7. Enya Nightmare M-80s 79
  8. Downtown Dallis Smashinistas 69
  9. Morgan LaFaetal Stunt Devils 50
  10. Joanie Rollmoan M-80s 41 

Starry Starry Fight

Poobah’s Analysis: Starry Starry Fight takes the league’s regular season scoring title with only three bouts played. Her 77-point record setting bout in January was enough to maintain the lead throughout the season. Relocation to the Pacific Northwest late in season kept her out of bout six.

The Educator scored two 40-plus point performances in 2010 to lead the Smashinistas. Dedicated to conditioning this season, she was arguably ARRG’s most consistent player down the stretch. She has a good shot of taking the league scoring title in 2011.

Artemischief, last year’s scoring leader, had her seasons best against the Smashinistas in bout three with 43 points. An uncharacteristic 9-point output against the M-80s in bout four dropped her to third overall this season. She’ll make a good argument to retake the league’s scoring title in 2011.

With 2009 retirements and key injuries to M-80s personnel this season, Black Market Baby had a breakthrough year. A personal best of 39 points in bout four made ARRG take notice, as she became one of the premiere scorers of the league.

Pileup recorded a personal best of 48 points in bout five to reach levels never before achieved. This was a pleasant surprise for the Smashies camp.

Shiner, shutout in bout one, notched her best in bout six against the Smashinistas – 31 points. This number should rise dramatically next season.

Nightmare, suspended for bout two, accumulated her points in three bouts. She returned back to form following major injuries from prior seasons.

Dallis, the Texan transplant, was consistent this season, with an ARRG personal best of 26 in bout five.

LaFaetal became a solid weapon for the Stunts in 2010. She scored a personal best of 19 in bout six.

Rollmoan – by design – was utilized more as a blocker in the second half of the season due to injuries to M-80s personnel.


  1. The Educator Smashinistas 30
  2. Starry Starry Fight Stunt Devils 23
  3. Artemischief Stunt Devils 22
  4. Punches Pileup Smashinistas 21
  5. South City Shiner Stunt Devils  20 
The Educator

The Educator

Poobah’s Analysis: The Educator recorded successful lead jams in approximately 50% of the jams she participated in, far outdistancing the pack. A solid blocking line in front of her helped her achieve this goal. Three Stunts in the top five resulted in point accumulations that overwhelmed the league.


  1. Danikka Doom Stunt Devils  12
  2. Enya Nightmare M-80s  9
  3. Grave Danger Stunt Devils 8
  4. Deathica Steele Stunt Devils 7
  5. Davey Blockit Smashinistas 7
Danikka Doom

Danikka Doom

Poobah’s Analysis: As stated before in a mid-season column, this is not a result of undisciplined play, but merely a reflection of the physical battles in the trenches seen on a bout-by-bout basis by the blockers. As a whole, penalties were less this season compared to season’s past. Only three ejections were recorded in ARRG in the 2010 season, two of which were in one bout.


  1. Ana Warpath M-80s 101
  2. Eli Wallop Smashinistas 98
  3. Mayor Francis Slayer Stunt Devils 92 
Ana Warpath

Ana Warpath

Poobah’s Analysis: An interesting – and impressive – stat conjured up. Keep in mind that each ARRG player this season played four bouts, each with approximately 40 jams per bout. These three played in over 75% of the jams in their four bouts respectively, which equaled over 30 minutes of non-stop action per bout. Many others in the league not listed in this category were close to the “90-jam” mark as well. Think these ladies are just “weekend warriors”? Think again.

Poobah Disclaimer: Some categories have two skaters that have identical stats (points scored, major penalties) but are listed in a numerical order rather than listed as a “tie.” Please don’t look into that too deeply -it’s a formatting issue in the Newscenter.  



NEXT WEEK IN THE NEWSCENTER: The defending ARRG champions look to repeat at 2010′s title bout on July 10 but face a huge obstacle in a team that has its eyes on the prize. Hells LaBelle brings you a preview of the league championship between the Stunt Devils and the Smashinistas.

When not computing statistics utilizing an abacus and a Barbie “Sparkle” pencil, the Grand Poobah and Hells LaBelle are bout announcers for the 2010 season of the Arch Rival Roller Girls. Check back in this area on Monday for the latest in ARRG news and information.

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by the Grand Poobah

(ST. LOUIS, MO) If Saturday’s action at the All-American was any indication – then the 2010 championship bout for ARRG will be ridden on an emotional roller coaster.

A 20-point halftime lead helped pace the Stunt Devils to an 85-77 victory over the Smashinistas in ARRG’s final regular season bout of the season.

The win gave the defending league champion a perfect 4-0 record in intraleague action – a record that at one time seemed impossible for some members of the legacy franchise of ARRG.

“Having in the past the worst record in the league to having an undefeated record this season is so freakin’ amazing,” said veteran Stunt Devil blocker Grave Danger following the bout.

But don’t be fooled by the final score – the camo princesses almost stole the “W” away from the ladies in purple with the final jam of the bout.

And even in defeat, their second to the Stunts this season, the Smashies know that they have an opportunity to seek revenge as the two teams meet again in the quest for the league trophy on Saturday, July 10 at the All-American.

“We get a re-do,” said Smashinista jammer The Educator following the bout. “We get to win the next one.”

And that mantra was quickly recognized by the Stunts, who found out that the squad they played on Saturday was jelling at the right time.

“Clearly the Smashies are going to challenge us at the championnship,” said Stunt jammer Morgan LeFaetal. “It’s going to be a really intense game.”

And intense completely describes the numerous, dramatic swings the bout went through Saturday night.

To the surprise of many, points would come few and far between in the bout’s first twenty minutes. Thanks to stingy defense on both sides, neither team gained a true advantage.

In a game of “derby chess,” both teams match each other move-for-move in the first five jams. Eight minutes into the bout, the Stunt Devils possessed a 7-6 edge.

Then came the bout’s first true eye-opening moment.

Smashie scoring leader The Educator raced to the front of the pack and collected an 8-point tally, which gave the ladies in camo a 14-9 lead at the 21:20 mark.

If anything, the Smashies’ message to the high-scoring Stunt Devil squad was now crystal clear – “now you’re playing OUR game.”

The Stunts countered with a two-point jam by Artemischief and a four-pointer by South City Shiner, which now saw the defending champs on top 15-14.

And to their credit, the Smashinistas did not break under pressure. In fact, they became motivated by the challenge.

While the holding the Stunts scoreless for the next five minutes, the Smashies regained the lead thanks to Educator’s three-pointer with 12:09 left in the first half.

Down 17-15 a third of the bout in, the Stunts appeared frustrated. The squad’s two top scorers were being held to well below their scoring averages and they were being doubled up on obtaining lead jammer status.

In short, it wasn’t a fun ride early on for the defending champions – and the frustration needed to be controlled.

 ”With women’s sports, it’s about having a certain amount of aggression, but also you have to contain that aggression,” said the Stunts’ LeFaetal of the predicament.

And it seems apropos that LeFaetal herself – by containing that aggression – would be one of the Stunts to shift the momentum of the game in the first half’s final ten minutes.  

The youngster’s 3-pointer with 10:00 remaining gave the Stunt Devils an 18-17 edge. Artemischief followed with two to extend the lead to three.

The Smashinistas answered with Punches Pileup‘s two point jam. The lead was now down to one point.

Then it was time for the Stunts to play ITS game.

The purple skaters collected the next three jams in the first half’s final five minutes. Artemischief scored a four-pointer while Shiner collected four of her own.

Up 28-19, the Stunts delivered a shot to the Smashies that sent the ladies into a tailspin – an Artemischief double grand slam as the clock wound down. The 10-pointer with :25 left would put the exclamation on a Stunts’ 19-0 stretch run – and a 39-19 lead at the halftime break.

The Stunts would continue the roll to begin the second half of play. The defending champs would outscore the Smashies 20-10 in the second half’s first eleven minutes. Thanks to Shiner’s 8-point tally with 19:10 left to play, the Stunt Devils possessed a 59-31 lead.

The bout – itself a foreshadowing of next month’s league championship – then took a strange turn and featured a foreshadowing of things to come later that night.

With 18:50 remaining, time stood still….literally.

A power malfunction shut down circuitry to the scoreboard and silenced the public address system. And ARRG officials called for a suspension of play while officials at the All-American frantically worked on restoring power.

When play resumed ten minutes later, it provided a fresh jump to the Smashies. Downtown Dallis scored five quick out of the gates to cut the gap to 59-36 Stunts.

And much like the beginning stretch of the game, both teams traded points as the second half progressed – the highlight being Educator’s 9-point power jam with 7:30 remaining to make the score 75-53.

Following a two-point score by the Stunts’ Shiner, Dallis’ grand slam for the Smashies decreased the Stunt’s advantage to 19 points.

Feeling the pressure, the Stunts countered with a pair of four-pointers by LaFaetal and Shiner to give the purple contingent a commanding 85-58 with 3:16 remaining.

The Educator collected four on the next jam for the Smashies, but time was now becoming a factor. Perhaps too little, too late, as the deficit was now 23 points.

The Stunts, sensing victory, offered a rare jam to longtime pivot Mayor Francis Slayer. The sign of respect to the ARRG veteran resulted in no points, but with an 85-62 lead with under a minute remaining, this was to give everyone on the Stunts roster a chance to revel in an undefeated regular season.

All seemed well in the world for the Stunts….until the final jam.

As the game clock reached the :30 mark, the Educator raced to the front of the pack and obtained lead jammer status for the Smashies.

And then it happened again – a power failure.

Which in this case did not matter on the game clock, for the 2:00 jam clock was now the element that dictated the final scoring.- which now was uncertain for there no numbers to read by anyone in ARRG Nation.

The key number crucial to the Smashies was “23″ – the current deficit.

And the Stunts were about to be taken to school as the Educator began to rack up points….very, very quickly.

And to the shock of all those in attendance, the Smashies were coming close…dangerously close to tying. In fact, most could tell that Educator had netted multiple grand slams in the process.

Amid all the confusion taking place, the question had to be asked…..just how many points was she scoring?

When ARRG Official Timer Hi-Refinition blew the final whistle to signal the end of the jam – and the bout – the drama was at a fever pitch. And the tension was high as Educator’s points were being calculated.

The Smashies needed 23 points to tie – The Educator scored 15. And the purple contingent knew that they had dodged a huge bullet in the eight point win.

The 85-77 final served multiple purposes for both squads post-bout, who meet again for the league’s top prize in three weeks.

 ”We definitely know what we need to work on going into the championship game,” said Danger. “We know that we cannot take the Smashies lightly.”

South City Shiner lead the Stunt Devils in scoring with 31 points, followed by Artemischief’s 29 and Morgan LeFaetal’s 19.

And all three jammers will be on the radar of the Smashinistas – who will look for the franchise’s first title at the re-match next month.

“I think we’re going in aware, but confident,” said The Educator, who finished with a bout-high 49 points.  ”I feel like we’ve got some work to do, a few things to tweak, and I think we can take it.”

Downtown Dallis added 15 for the Smashies (1-3), while Punches Pileup added 13.

But now with the regular season in full closure, the slate is wiped completely clean for both sides.

All stats are reset to zero on Saturday, July 10 – and neither team wants to be known as the runner-up.

“It’s going to be knock-down, drag out, full-on derby brawl,” foreshadowed Danger.

Indeed, she is correct.



Stunt Devils: South City Shiner 31, Artemischief 29, Morgan LeFateal 19, Mighty Mighty Boston 6

Smashinistas: The Educator 49, Downtown Dallis 15, Punches Pileup 13


Thanks to all who came out on a busy Father’s Day weekend to enjoy women’s flat track roller derby action. There were many dads who were in the audience who continue to support their daughters in the sport that they love so much. Whether you were a dad, a spouse or a significant other to a skater, thank you for your support to the women of the league who make this an important part of their lives.

Much thanks should go out to our media partners who continue to spread the word of ARRG, including KPLR-TV and KTVI-TV, who did an amazing job down the stretch. Thanks to you all for your continued support.

And thanks to all who patiently sat through our extended timeout during the bout while we had a malfunction in the junction with our electricity. An impromptu calvade of entertainment – including skating stunts by ARRG officials, the “worm” executed by Joanie Rollmoan, a belly flop by Hells LaBelle and the “wave” by ARRG Nation – proceeded to make a long break not seem so long.


Saturday, July 10 will be here before you know it, and you – a member of the derby-lovin’ public – do not want to be shut out from the action. The 2010 ARRG Championship, featuring the Stunt Devils and the Smashinistas has a special start time of 7 PM. And once again it’s two bouts for the price of one as the STLGatekeepers - the men’s flat track roller derby squad of St. Louis – participate in an intrasquad exhibition prior to the title bout.

The last time there was a double-dip of derby action featuring ARRG and the Gatekeepers – the building reached maximum capacity – so much so that patrons were turned away at the door due to fire occupancy issues.

I can’t stress this enough – if you don’t have a ticket already for Saturday, July 10 – GET IT NOW!

Go to Brown Paper Tickets online to order your tickets.

If you don’t…you probably will only hear about the final.



The Arch Rival Roller Girls will again participate in the official PrideFest parade, to be held Sunday, June 27 on South Grand in St. Louis. The parade route, which makes its way down South Grand Avenue to Tower Grove Park, begins at 12 noon.

This continues ARRG’s involvement of community events in 2010 – which has included the St. Louis St. Patrick’s Day Parade, HeatUp St. Louis and Macklind Days.

The parade is just one of numerous events going on during the two-day celebration this weekend. For more information about St. Louis PrideFest 2010, check their official website HERE.

When not playing Horse Hooky at Fairmount Park, The Grand Poobah and Hells LaBelle are bout announcers for the 2010 season of the Arch Rival Roller Girls. Check back in this section on Mondays for the latest in ARRG news and information.

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by Hells LaBelle

This Saturday Night will be a special treat for the Arch Rival Roller Girls’ fans. June 19th, the All American Sports Mall will be the place to find the ARRG Defending League Champions, the Stunt Devils, getting a look at their opponent for July 10th’s League Championship game, the Smashinistas.

This opens up a series of scenarios for the July 10th Championship Bout.  Such as…

1.  Will the Stunt Devils try and smother the Smashies like they did in their 43-point victory over the Smashinistas back in March?

2.  Will the Smashies follow up their first win of the season by sending out a statement to the defending champs and stealing a win before the Title Bout?

3.  Are the Smashinistas reaching their peak after winning by 40-points over the M-80′s?

4.  Can the Stunt Devils maintain their consistent triple-digit scoring totals against the Smashies in their first game without their “Star”, Starry Starry Fight, who recently moved back to her home state of Oregon?

5.  Will either team hold back some punches in fear of showing their Championship opponent their entire playbook before they square off for the Title? 

6.  Or will both teams keep their feet on the gas pedals and try to weaken their championship opponent less than one month before the Season’s climax?

All good questions leading into this weekend’s jaunt.

The Stunt Devils will look to their depth and experience to fill in Starry Starry Fight’s spot. Starry is a 40+ point scoring threat at jammer and has the ability to break the game open at any given moment.

We all know the Stunts are enjoying their most stacked roster since their formation 4 seasons ago.   Every fan of the ladies in purple know that Artemischief is more than capable of game-breaking jams.



South City Shiner had a helluva weekend in Wisconsin at the BrewHaHa and followed up with a great game against Duke City, so expect her to come out fired up. Morgan LaFaetal will be looked upon to step up in her young career and pick up the point total slack.

Smarty McFly is fighting through an injury, but when healthy is a more than ready jammer. Mighty Mighty Boston is the rookie with the quick feet and could possibly do some jamming on Saturday.

So, as you can see, the Stunts still have depth at the Jammer position. 



But it’s at the Blocker position, where their experience will shine through for the defending champs. The team will always skate with confidence when led by Grave Danger, Mayor Francis Slayer, Danikka Doom and Miss Lippy. Domme E. Nation has been a sensational newcomer to the team this year. 

Deathica Steele is having the best season I’ve seen her have since she was drafted as a Stunt. Every Stunt Devil Jammer doubles as a blocker, too, and prove every time they’re equally good at both duties.

There are a handful of new players on the bench that will also get in the game and make an impact this Saturday night, so I’d say the Stunts probably feel pretty good about their chances.

But you can’t say enough about what getting that long-awaited first win finally under your belt can do for a team’s confidence and style of play. The Smashinistas did just that in their last game against the M-80′s and did so convincingly.  That night saw the Smashies finally seem to gel with all their experience finally coming together on the track.



The Smashies roster combines experience from all over the country. The Educator is one of ARRG’s most respected and best all around players. Davey Blockit and Sue She have worn the Smashie jersey for quite some time. 

Eli Whallop and Jezebelle used to be teammates in Arizona before they both moved here. Downtown Dallis was her league’s most valuable player in her final season in Dallas, Texas, before moving to St. Louis.

Sue She

Sue She

The rest of the roster is a mixture of players in only their first or second years with the Smashinistas, but with plenty of experience of their own. Rookies Ginny Beastley, Rock Steady and the Forecloser just came off impressive showings in the ARRG Rookie Rivals’ win over the Saint Chux Derby Chix.

And all that different experience from all sorts of diverse situations came together on the track and gelled together for a 107-67 victory, the Smashinista’s first in two seasons. The 40-point victory has the co-captains Eli Whallop and Punches Pileup feeling fantastic about their team’s chances coming into Saturday. 

Punches Pileup led the way in that win with 44 points, The Educator added 37, and Downtown Dallis scored 26 points. Now that’s a triple-threat the Stunt Devils will need to keep their eyes on.

But don’t look now, just last weekend, The Forecloser put the game against St. Chux out of reach with a 20-point jam, adding to her 34-point total on the night. So, it may appear as though the Smashies have options.

Either way it should be a great game, and no matter what, it will in NO way imply how the championship game will go. 

After all…

The 1980 USA Olympic Hockey Team played an exhibition game against the Russian Red Army hockey team at Madison Square Garden just weeks before the Olympic Games in Lake Placid.  On that night, the Soviets crushed the Americans, 10-3.

We all know what happened when they met again in the Gold Medal Olympic Semifinals.

And in case you don’t…

USA WON!!! And then went on to win the Gold Medal against Finland.

So that just goes to show how quickly things can change when the stakes are raised…

I’ll see ya there!



The ladies of ARRG will be featured on KPLR-TV Channel 11 on Friday, June 18 on “11 News at Noon.” Look for the ladies at around 12:40 pm. If you cannot see the broadcast live, go to later on in the day to view the segment.


 by Hells LaBelle

 (ST. PETERS, MO) Don’t call them a C-Team.  Don’t call them Rookies.  Don’t call the game they play a Tryout.

Because when the ARRG Rookie Rivals took the track on Saturday Night, they looked like the farthest thing from anything that could be considered a C-Team, a rookie, or participants in a tryout

This ragtag bunch of rookies and newbies (some of whom received their derby names on the same DAY as their first game) sent a loud and clear message to the ARRG Veterans and fanbase that watched them skate Saturday Night at the Wheel in St. Peters. That message was went something like this:


For a few of the ladies on the Rookie Rivals (Pelvis Costello, Munchausen by Foxy, Ginny Beastley, Cookies “n Cream, The Forecloser and Rock Steady), they have already been drafted and played in some local ARRG bouts. THEIR message went something like this:


The rest of ARRG Nation was listening.  They watched as the Rookie Rivals emerged victorious with a 112-80 win over the still young in existence St. Chux Derby Chix. For SCDC, this was only their second bout since their formation in August of 2009. 

Their team has also been riddled with injuries, as the Chix were missing a number of skaters, leaving their roster dwindled down to just 10 skaters for the whole bout.  Both teams showed serious heart through 60 minutes of Womens Flat Track Roller Derby.  It was the battle of the City versus the County.

The Rookie Rivals jumped out to a quick start thanks to a 39-0 run to start the bout. The Forecloser and Stitches kicked off the night with back-to-back 9-point jams. Then Pelvis Costello and Rock Steady took turns with a pair of 4-point jams to extend the Rivals’ lead to 26-0. 

Hedda Crusher took the position of jammer and sent the crowd into a frenzy with a 5-point jam to make it 31-0. Smashinista rookie Ginny Beastley punctuated the 39-0 run with a 8-point jam. The City-Goers were rockin’ and rollin’ early.

The St. Chux Derby Chix finally were able to put an end to the ARRG onslaught when The Victimizer was able to sneak 4 points out of a jam that ARRG’s Splat ‘Em Curie was lead jammer for. Curie added a point for the Rivals.

Then, despite the M-80 Rookie Munchausen by Foxy getting lead jammer and adding 4 points to the rookies’ score, Grey Goose O’Flyen was able to add 3 points of her own to make the score 44-7. D’Wicked Pirate added a 2-point jam, making the score 46-7.

It should be noted here that when Shimmy Hoffa took the track as the jammer for the Rookie Rivals, she successfully obtained Lead Jammer status for the 10th straight time for the ARRG Rooks.

In that stretch, 10-different Rookie Rivals attained lead jammer in the first 11 jams.  The odd jam out was a Lead Jammer-less jam between Pelvis Costello and Grey Goose.  After Shimmy’s scoreless jam, the St. Chux Derby Chix woke up and tried to swing the momentum back in their favor.

P. Diamond broke the lead jammerless streak, scoring 4 points for St. Chux. Lady Lucifer followed her lead with a 4-point jam as well. Crashes Clay was able to sneak 3-points out of that jam before LL could call it off. 

The Punctuator was then able to take lead jammer back for the Rivals, but not before Spice Rack swiped 3 points out from under her. The Victimizer was the next lead jammer adding 4 points to St. Chux’ total, but Slamnigua bested her with 5 points for St. Louis in the same jam, making it 54-22.

Hydrogen Bombshell took the track making her the 14th different jammer for St. Louis in the first half. Bombshell scored 5 points, against the Victimizer’s 3.

A pair of scoreless jams between Badonka Bam and Lady Lucifer, and Stitches and Diamond rounded out the first half of action where the Rookie Rivals sent 15 different skaters out to jam.  All but 2 tallied points.

The score at the half was 59-25 in favor of the ladies wearing pink.

But their lead was about to dwindle…

SCDC came out of the gate flying and went on a 20-0 run in the first three jams of the second half.  Lucifer scored 12 points in the first jam, Grey Goose with 4 in the next, Diamond capping the run with 4 more unanswered points.  A 34-point lead shrunk to just a 14.

Shimmy Hoffa ended the Rookie Rivals’ scoreless streak with 3 points, only to see Diamond take 3 points right back, 62-48. The Forecloser took the track for the first time in the half and recorded a 5-point jam.  Bombshell followed that up with a 7-point score, but Lady Lucifer 4 more in that jam, as well as 5 more on the next jam, leaving the bout with a 74-57 score.

With Stitches in the penalty box, Diamond scored 4 points, but Stitches sprung loose and scored 2 quick points for the ladies of the Metropolis.  Hoffa and Grey Goose traded 4 points in the same jam, upping the score to 82-63.  Goose added 3 points two jams later, followed by Costello outscoring Diamond 3-1 in the next jam.

Stitches gave St. Louis a 22-point lead with a 4-point jam. Diamond answered with 4 for St. Chux.

SCDC’s Grey Goose made the score the narrowest it had been all night at 89-76 with a 5-point jam late in the half. Everyone in the rink could sense something explosive about to happen.

St. Chux, with only 10 skaters, showed no signs of fatigue. In fact, they got stronger as the game went on. A 34-point halftime lead had dwindled down to 13. 

And then…

Living up to the name on the back of her jersey, the Forecloser foreclosed on St. Chux’ claim at a victory.

With a 20-point jam, the Foreclosure put the bout out of reach for the host team.  Pelvis Costello added 3 points in the final jam, while Diamond rounded out the scoring for the home team with a 4-point jam.

Final Score: 112-80, Rookie Rivals

The St. Chux Derby Chix held their heads up high in a loss, knowing that with just 10 skaters, down by 34 points at halftime, the Chix fought hard and outscored the Rookie Rivals 55-53 in the second half. 

But it would not be enough. The Smashinista, the Forecloser, rookie played the role of the hero with the 20-point jam with just 3 minutes left in the Bout.

The Forecloser led the game with 34 points for the Rookie Rivals. The game’s second leading scorer was Lady Lucifer with 25 points for SCDC. Diamond scored 24 points. Grey Goose O’Flyen turned in 19. Stitches piled up 15 points in her derby debut. The Victimizer scored 11. Hydrogen Bombshell had 12 points, and Pelvis Costello was the only other skater in double-digits with 10.  Nine other skaters on the Rookie Rivals were able to put points on the board as jammers for the City Dwellers.

Head Coaches Joanie Rollmoan and Miss Lippy sent 16 different skaters out to jam in this bout. Their scoring was very spread out. And they never panicked once when they saw a 34-point lead shrink down to just 13.

They kept their composure, waited for one opportune moment to lay down the fatal blow, and capitalized on it. The win was an uplifting one for the Rookie Rivals, especially for those without a local team to their name yet. Several skaters certainly impressed the veterans in the crowd with solid play, and surely made a statement that screams for them to get drafted to a local team later this year.

D’Wicked Pirate was a blocking machine all night long for the Rookies. Stitches boasted her hockey background, flying around the track like T.J. Oshie himself. Shimmy Hoffa, Hydrogen Bombshell and Slamnigua made impressive appearances for the visiting team.

And after last night, those rookie skaters that already find themselves on local team rosters made their case for more playing time in Local Bouts – particularly Pelvis Costello, The Forecloser, Ginny Beastley and Foxy.

It was a night when every screaming veteran sitting around Turn 3 on the track can be proud of the development of the ARRG Roller Derby League.

It was a night where the ladies of SCDC showed heart, guts and more importantly, progress with their own venture out in St. Charles.

They have certainly come a long way in just two short years with talented skaters, an entertaining venue and a very positive attitude.

I know one thing… As far as ARRG is concerned, I can’t wait to see who gets drafted later this year. This year’s draft will showcase some serious talent and add considerably more depth to the league. Teams are only going to get better with the additions of the skaters featured Saturday Night in St. Peters.

These “rookies” had the moxie and swagger of multi-year veterans.  They should celebrate a hard-earned victory for now, but I promise, for many of them, it will not be the last time they taste victory.

Now folks, keep in mind, the numbers and statistics in this recap are my UNOFFICIAL recount of the night’s events using the chicken-scratch hieroglyphics notepad I use on a nightly basis… It’s not an EXACT science yet, but I’m working on it.

So please, don’t be offended if I fumbled on a few of your point totals.  It is never intentional.  It’s just like I always say…

“Math is Hard.”   


(ST. LOUIS, MO) Members of ARRG participated in the annual “Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure” this past weekend in downtown St. Louis.

The ARRG team, which raised $1,595 for local cancer research, was part of the over 71,000 participants who competed/walked in Saturday’s event.

The St. Louis event raised over $3.4 million in total donations.

Thanks to all who supported ARRG and the “Komen Race for the Cure.” Expect ARRG to be back again next year!


Congrats to Stunt Devils’ Co-captain – and perennial All-Star – Mayor Francis Slayer, who was recently named to the “30 Under 30″ by the St. Louis Business Journal – which recognizes the upcoming movers and shakers of the St. Louis business scene.

Slayer will be featured in the July 9 issue of the St. Louis Business Journal.

To see the complete list, and to take a guess of which one of 16 women might be her, head on over here.

The Grand Poobah and Hells LaBelle are bout announcers for the 2010 season of the Arch Rival Roller Girls. In their spare time, they provide the voices for the Country Bear Jamboree Puppetronic Show at Disney World. Check back in this section on Mondays for the latest in ARRG news and information.




by the Grand Poobah

(ST. LOUIS, MO) It was not that long ago that the ARRG All-Stars found themselves in a potentially problematic situation. A mid-May record of 1-4 showed that the locals had experienced more lows than highs early in 2010.

And with strong WFTDA squads on the horizon, a season that some critics would have classified as “rebuilding” could have been completely demolished prior to the official start of summer.

Was the foundation strong enough? And more importantly – could it survive the storm brewing up ahead?

Faced against adversity, the pink and black building still remains intact.

Paced by Artemischief’s bout high 48 points, ARRG posted an impressive 127-75 victory over Duke City of Albuquerque, NM in front of 800 Saturday night at the All-American Sports Mall.

The win over the sixth-ranked team in the WFTDA West region improved ARRG’s record to 4-5, which includes three victories in their last four bouts against WFTDA-sanctioned teams.

“This season we’ve been on a steady stretch upward and it really feels like we’re making some strides,” said ARRG blocker Eli Wallop following the bout. “We’ve been capitalizing on the momentum.”

Although the final score indicates that the bout was lopsided, in all fairness, Duke City was already behind the 8-ball prior the bout – a roster of only 13 skaters, which saw the absences of several key players including a top scorer.

Yet with small numbers in the line-up, the Munecas Muertas grabbed an early advantage.

A grand slam by Duke City’s Meep Meep at the 5:00 mark gave the visitors a 15-4 lead.

ARRG would then shift the momentum to its side during the bout’s next ten minutes. Five consecutive lead jam scores – including a 10-pointer by Enya Nightmare – resulted in 22-point uncontested streak. When the dust had settled at the 16:15 mark, ARRG had posted a 30-18 advantage.

Undaunted, Albuquerque quickly regained the lead on the very next jam. Meep Meep’s 15-point megajam overturned the leader board – which now read 33-30 Duke City.

But whereas Duke City placed all their chips on a roadrunner, ARRG countered by unleashing its cheetah on quads.

At the 5:15 mark, Artemischief sprinted to the front of the pack and came up with a 15-point jam of her own. Just like that, ARRG possessed a 49-37 lead.

The veteran jammer’s 27-point first-half output resulted in a 52-41 lead for the pink and black attack at the halftime break.

Both teams collected points at a frenetic pace to start the second half. ARRG’s South City Shiner and Artemischief scored back-to-back four pointers to extend the lead to 19. Nightmare followed with five of her own.

Down 65-41, Duke City’s Meep Meep and Brutalitaur scored 10 and five respectively to keep pace. The local contingent became nervous as the lead had been whittled down to 65-56 with under 24:00 remaining.

Sensing the uneasy feeling of a large lead lost, ARRG responded with a huge rally.

A 26-1 scoring stretch in the bout’s next eight minutes – punctuated by Shiner’s 15-point power jam – made ARRG Nation breathe a sigh of relief. Their favorites on quads now possessed a 91-57 advantage.

ARRG would continue to maintain the pressure on an already exhausted bunch of Duke City skaters. The “fab four” of Artemischief, Shiner, Nightmare and Black Market Baby would score 75 points collectively for ARRG in the second half, which matched the number of points Duke City scored overall for the bout.

Artemischief lead ARRG scorers with 48 points, followed by Shiner’s 31. Nightmare added 28 while BMB collected 15 for the locals, who picked up their second straight win.

Meep Meep paced Duke City (4-3) with 40 points, followed by Brutalitaur’s well-earned 24 and Amanda Jamitinya’s 15.

“Everytime I went out for a hit, I was bracing myself because those (ARRG) girls hit really hard,” said Jamitinya respectfully said after the bout.

How hard? “Bonecrushingly hard,” replied Wallop.

“They’re made out of bricks,” countered Jamitinya.

And that, perhaps, is the best way to build a solid foundation.

The ARRG All-Stars now take a two-month break from travel team action, as the league focuses its energies on the remainder of the 2010 local season.

St. Louis’ best on quads return to all-star action on Saturday & Sunday, August 14 and 15 at the All-American Sports Mall for a special two-day, four team tournament that includes the Detroit Derby Girls, the Kansas City Roller Warriors and the Philadelphia Liberty Belles.



In Saturday night’s opener, ARRG’s developmental team – the St. Lunachix – dropped to 2-2 on the season following a 134-78 loss to the Demolition City Dynamite Dolls of Evansville, IN.

The locals’ loss was the second this year to Demolition City, who remain undefeated at 6-0.

“it’s a little disappointing, but we’ll learn from it and play better next time,” said Chix jammer/blocker The Siege. “(Evansville) is a very good team – they play very well together.”

The Chix were unable to stop the early attack of the Dolls’ monster jammer, Godjilla, whose 33 first-half points resulted in a 51-10 lead twenty minutes into the bout.

Jammer Mighty Mighty Boston gave the St. Lunachix a small glimmer of hope. An 11-pointer scored cut into the deficit, but Demolition City’s Shelby N. Pain countered with a 14-point power jam. A 69-21 halftime lead for Evansville seemed impossible to catch.

“Last season, it usually took us the whole first half to get the gist of what we needed to do,” said Pain of the huge lead at the break. “So what we’ve been working on this season is picking apart what we needed to do before the bout and learning to adapt a lot quicker during the bout.”

It looks like they’re following their plan to the letter.

But to their credit, the St. Lunachix played in the second half as if the bout was tied. Joanie Rollmoan banged out a 15-pointer five minutes into the second half, while The Siege steadily racked up 4-pointers of her own.

Conversely for Demolition City, a pair of 15-point powerjams – one by Godjilla, one by Pain – were pounded with precision as the period progressed.

Evansville proceeded to outscore the locals 65-53 in the second half to ease to victory.

But don’t think that the visitors didn’t have respect for the Chix post-bout.

“We knew they were going to come back at us because they’re tough,” said Pain, who finished with 41 points. “They were still picking us apart on a lot of stuff so we’ve still got plenty of work to do.”

Godjilla’s 48 points paced Demolition City, while Lillith of the Valley added 32.

The Siege scored 30 points while Rollmoan collected 26 for the St. Lunachix, who next play the COMO Derby Dames on Saturday, September 18.


Thanks to all 800 who showed up at the All-American Sports Mall Saturday night to support a fun night of double derby action. Without your support, special events like these would not be possible.

Special thanks go to the athletes and support staff from Duke City and Demolition City for their professionalism throughout the weekend. In bouts that become one-sided, it is very easy for the play to become chippy and the emotions to become stretched-thin, which could potentially lead to “unladylike” moments. Fortunately, the professionalism of all four squads proved that the sport – and its athletes - will always be respected, regardless of the outcome.

Most respectful were the fans from ARRG Nation who showed their appreciation to both visiting teams with post-bout hand slaps following the bouts.

Special shout outs go to our friends from the local media who gave ARRG a little extra lovin’ prior to this doubleheader: Gary B and Randy Gardner of “STL Sports Zone” on KFNS-AM, Brian McKenna of “The Last Call” on KFNS-AM, Van Lorenz and Rick Wallace of 106.5 The ARCH and Angela Hutti of KTVI-TV. Thanks all for continuing to support ARRG! We appreciate it.

MVPs (as selected by the opposition) for the bouts were the following: ARRG All-Stars, Eli Wallop – Duke City, Amanda Jamitinya – St. Lunachix, The Siege – Demolition City, Shelby N. Pain.




chux bout

We’ve featured both the ARRG All-Stars and the St. Lunachix in our continuing coverage this season.

How about we add a third team to the mix?

This weekend marks the debut of ARRG’s other developmental franchise that consists of new recruits to the league in a match-up with the newly-formed St. Chux Derby Chix of St. Charles County.

The bout takes place this Saturday, June 12 at the Omni Sportsplex (4160 Industrial Drive, St. Peters, MO). Doors open at 7pm. The $7 bout starts at 8pm.

Formed last December, The St. Chux Derby Chix is currently a member of USARS (USA Roller Sports), which is the national governing body of roller sports in the United States. Roller sports in the jurisdiction of the USARS include speed skating, inline hockey, figure skating, rink hockey and yep, derby.

USARS derby teams follow the same rules and regulations as the WFTDA, thus they are eligible to face WFTDA teams. The St. Chux Derby Chix’s goal in 2011 is to become an apprentice league of the WFTDA.

The league has one bout under its belt, an interleague match-up between the Vertbreak’n Vixens and the Dollface Killers in mid-April. A 39-35 win for the Vixens launched a newfound athletic alternative in St. Charles County. And if you are a lover of derby who likes to see the sport grow, THAT is always a good thing.

The two squads from St. Charles will combine teams to create their roster, while ARRG will field of roster of rookie recruits. These will be athletes who have dedicated the time and literal sweat equity to ARRG for participation at practices, home bouts and at community events.

They all hope to make their progression into one of the three interleague teams of ARRG in the future. Wouldn’t it be nice to say “thank you” for all the support they have given the league so far?

As of press time, ARRG is still determining the name of the new squad. Find out for yourself as its unveiled this Saturday at the Omni’s Wheel.

It’s the future of the sport – I think it’ll be $7 well spent.


The final week of fundraising has approached for ARRG as they are set to participate in the 2010 Komen St. Louis Race for the Cure, to be held this Saturday morning in downtown St. Louis.

Last year, ARRG raised $2,700 – this year our goal is $3,500! With under a week left, we have reached 43% of our goal! There’s no better time to help out our cause than now! Thanks to your support and donation, you’ll help us achieve that goal and continue our streak of successful community outreach projects in 2010.

To join our team and to make a donation, visit the ARRG team page.

And by all means – come walk with us on June 12 and show support to those who have courageously fought and continue to fight this disease!


NEXT WEEK IN THE ARRG NEWSCENTER: The final bout of the regular season approaches! Two teams battle in a potential championship preview while a third team on the sidelines will watch the scoreboard, hoping that mathematics will sneak them into the finals. Hells LaBelle will bring you a preview.

The Grand Poobah and Hells LaBelle are bout announcers for the 2010 season of the Arch Rival Roller Girls. Check back in this section on Mondays for the latest in ARRG news and information.

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