Public Comments on St. Louis’ Hottest Athletic Alternative
by The Grand Poobah
This was a relatively quiet week here at the news section. Considering all that’s been going on the first two months of 2010, a little break was well-welcomed.
It also gives us a chance to reflect on the momentum that the league has built in a relatively short amount of time.
After only three home bouts, our league attendance has seen unprecedented numbers. After our ARRG All-Star battle vs. Milwaukee on February 20, this year’s total attendance has exceeded 3,000 spectators. This number is especially rewarding considering the unknown variable associated with “travel bouts,” where the visiting team usually results in only a couple dozen strong.
Advance tickets sales have also exceeded prior numbers. It used to be in the past that the person who had potentially the easier workload on bout night was the individual in charge of “will call” tickets. That is no longer the case. Need a second opinion? Ask Stunt Devil blocker Deathica Steele, who had to transact order upon order of online ticket sales at the ARRG/Milwaukee bout.
This is encouraging for ARRG. With four more home interleague bouts, the local championship bout, one more All-Star match-up that features a double header, and a two-day mini-tournament scheduled for August, it is quite possible that ARRG’s attendance in 2010 could reach that magical “10,000″ mark.
10K in 2K10…who would have imagined that five years ago?
It’s a huge task – but we, thanks to your help, are up to the challenge. And we welcome every moment of it.
Besides, we’re used to being busy. In February alone – aside from three bouts – ARRG raised money at the St. Louis Walk for Wishes and shook cans for Heat Up-St. Louis. In other words, it was business as usual.
March will see a double-dip of derby action that will no doubt continue the trend. First, the ARRG All-Stars travel to Atlanta on March 13 to battle the Dirty South Derby Girls. Look for more on that match-up next Monday in the news section.
Then the following weekend in ARRG interleague action, defending champions the Stunt Devils return after a two-month layoff to battle the Smashinistas on Saturday, March 20 at the All-American Sports Mall.
Last bout, the Smashies almost pulled off the comeback against the M80s. The ladies in cammo acquired a veteran skater from Texas that made an immediate impact and a high-scoring jammer with spectacles brought an unexpected scoring pop. Look for the Pretty Princesses to have another trick up their sleeves heading into the 3/20 showdown.
The Stunts, meanwhile, coasted to their season opening win. With an already deep line-up filled with veterans, “Las Demonias Stunt” execute with one speed: full-throttle. I don’t anticpate anything less in three weeks.
Conversely, a Smashie win results in a three-way tie in the league.
So many “what if’s” will be answered…I can’t wait!
You and your friends will want to get there early. The night’s action has a special start time of 7 pm…and for good cause.
Prior to the ARRG interleague match-up, there’s the debut of The STLGatekeepers – St. Louis’ first-ever men’s flat track roller derby franchise – as they battle the Race City Rebels of Indianapolis, IN. Just like ARRG, the fellas have been just as active in promoting their sport – and fundraisers, such as THIS shindig this Saturday night at Lemmons in St. Louis.
I could go on and on (and stretch and stretch the word count of this column) with what one could expect for the humble cost of $10.
But you don’t need me to shill the product…although I will unashamed. You could spend a little bit of leisure time looking up “Arch Rival Roller Girls” in search engines to see fan reviews.
But a few words of advice, you’re probably better off searching the league’s full name rather than the acronym.
A Google search of “ARRG” resulted in an opening entry of – unfortunately – an amateur radio relay group based out of Portland, Oregon. And although one understands its relevance in the world of emergency communication, it’s still unusual to believe that ham radio still has an existence in the tech-savvy world we live in. Think about it, when’s the last time you went out and bought a manual typewriter, likewise used one?
By the way, the radio repeater on Portland’s South Saddle Mountain at 147.320 MHz is up and running quite splendidly.
But by even utilizing the league’s full name, the search for St. Louis derby reviews can be a bit of a challenge. A simple search of “Arch Rival Roller Girls” on Yahoo! netted 277,000 results. The further addition of the name “Enya Nightmare” onto that search funneled the entries down to only around 8,900.
So after a little Poobah sweat-equity, these recent blog testimonials from the Internetz will hopefully make you look forward to the 3/20 doubleheader – and tempt those that are straddling the fence…
“Action is non-stop once the game begins. Timeouts are short and play resumes quickly after each scoring period. I’m a bit fuzzy on all of the scoring rules, but with jammers and blockers and people being knocked flat, it’s a good time. Bonus: Signing language interpreters were provided.”
“I’ve been wanting to check out the Arch Rival Roller Girls for a few years now. They are my new heroes. I wish I had the wheels (note: what i really want to say is b*lls) to do that!”
“I am in awe of these women; they are incredible athletes. Not only can they skate at a 5 lap/55 second pace, they have the skills, focus and strength it takes to stay upright amidst blocks, grabs and pushes during each jam.”
“These ladies can skate like pros…they skate fast and hard. I’m pretty sure they have all mastered the art of mental toughness as well as being in great shape. Get out and support these women at their next bout, it’s an action packed sporting event you won’t want to miss!”
“The Arch Rival Roller Girls – these ladies kick some a** on roller skates. Lots of fun and well worth the $10 ticket price.”
“I took the president of my company to (an ARRG) roller derby bout. He had a really terrific time, and he even plans to make it to future events.”
“On Saturday night we ventured out into the cold winter night in search of excitement. We found the excitement we were looking for in the form of the Arch Rival Roller Girls. Though no one in our unit had much knowledge of the history or regulations of Roller Derby we were quite pleased to experience this fun, fast paced, and at times befuddling sport. The venue was nice, the presentation of the sport was quite polished and included jeer leaders, mascots, and a very well done and helpful play by play.” (Poobah’s Note: No, that did not come from my momma…Shaddap!)
“These girls put the power in girl power. I’m so impressed (and a little scared). Roller derby is a tough sport, definitely not for the faint of heart.”
“It’s no longer a spectacle to watch a bunch of fully-grown women skating in circles while they try to knock each other out of the way…It’s a true sporting event.”
“It seems that everybody comes out for these competitions. Young, old. Conservative, Liberal. It’s nice to see people of all walks of life coming out to watch a fun, fast-paced, action-packed event.”
And perhaps the most-unconventional write-up…
“Mustached Americans dig chicks. We especially dig chicks that dig mustaches. And chicks on wheels who dig mustaches — Good Lord! One group of hot, dirty, and relatively delicious chicks who have great appreciation for people of Mustached American descent is the The Smashinistas, a team in the St. Louis based all-female roller derby league ARRG. They are such lovers of the “lip sweater” that the team quasi-mascot is a mustache — Smashie Stachie. That does not suck. “
So put it all together: two bouts for the price of one, free admission for the kiddos under 10, an after-party upstairs at The Upper Deck for those 21 and over, plus the usual array of contest, raffles and the sharing of derby goodwill amongst us all…what more could one ask for?
Is this what March Madness is supposed to be all about?
When not lamenting on the USA’s 3-2 OT loss in the men’s hockey gold medal game at the Winter Olympics, The Grand Poobah and Hells LaBelle are bout announcers for the 2010 season of the Arch Rival Roller Girls. Check back in this section on Mondays for the latest in ARRG news and information.